Go and seek the face of God for guardians.Also,talk to yr wife to tell u total detail of her past history.

We are meant to forgive and forget, thou it will be a hard pills to swallow, if i were in ur shoe[God forbid] men i will ask for God intervention but family involvement no never cause it will make case worst and bad, i think someone is right when he said she cant get pregnant for a stranger and keep it must be someone she has been sleeping with ,find out and if truth send her back to her family.
This is the reason i haven't found myself a life partner cause i want to go to Europe and study if i did now and maybe get her pregant before going who knows what she will be doing when i am away?

men! .lets look at it this way.

Before she came to join u in the state she definitely knew she was pregnant, so that means she lied.
For a grown up girl like her she should have removed it or tell you or something but because she wants to come to the state she kept mute.
you haven't even gone for so long and you tried your best to see her once in awhile,what about those that don't even communicate for years?did she lose the baby when she was admitted?
Bottom line is if you still love her and can find it in your heart to forgive take her back but make she no come born for there and then realise say Na one Latino get the baby , Most definately she knows the person that bleeped her.Could be her former boyfriend.my opinion.

shesi:

"dear boyzone?"

hahahaha, you almost had me going for a while. Until i got to that part. lol. your wife calls you boyzone? hahahaha

this is a complete fabrication. nice storytelling skills though.

If his story is true, did you expect him to use his real name here?

DIVORCE THE BITCH IMMEDIATELY.

This bitch has shown herself to be nothing more than a LovePeddler. A LovePeddler with another man's seed.

Nobody, I repeat nobody, deserves to be put through such hell. Leave the LovePeddler.

I appreciate and take all the blame some people put on me and the praises as well. I also want to let you know that i will accept all your swear words too. But one thing is i never though my own wife will hide such pregnancy away from me and who on earth would tell me my wife is pregnant for me to believe because I trusted her so much. Though, she claimed she missed her period after one week of her stay which I quickly believe so sad.

Sorry for not repying on time as your responses are all meaningful to me and some took minutes to digest but
1, I dont want  to distroy the innocent child
I dont want a complicated life as it took nearly all my saving and time to bring her and if u know what it is with experience.
2, All female nairalanders  except deep soul, have been saying forgive and forget, easy to decide but will be hard to live with.
3, some people believe its a nigerian story. lucky you
4, if I leave her i will never love anyone again.
5, if I accept her I will live everyday of my life to remember this
6, I currently accept her temporarily and do not mant to rush into conclusion
7, she has got a good and reliable family.
8 WHATEVER THE  DECISION I MAKE I WILL LOSE because even forgiving her will create a huge hole in my heart likewise a divorce.
9, my deduction from your responses, she intentionally brought this to join me in the state.
10, so many questions on my mindlike you can think of, why?

The memory will remain for ever,if this is true am sorry it happened.

Let me get this clear.
You love your wife and you had been away from her for a long period of time, and naturally one would expect you would bed down with her as soon as you guys re-united. So how the hell can you say you did not realise that she was 5 months pregnant?

i'm not a girl and all that, but at 5 months + pregnancy is usually pretty visible. Taking a pregnancy test at 7 months?

I'm not buying this cock and bull story.




what does a kid know.

just forgive her and take the child as yours, its not going to be easy though

u said"she has good and reliable family"--i wonder what u mean. . .perhaps they know something about it and decided 2 keep mum.

I wont advise but if it happens to me, I will send her away. How best do I want God to pass a message to me?

Good Story
but you are only deceiving ursef, by saying u did pregnancy test to confirm.
she knows wot she is doing
she never new u wuld come back for her, those friends that took her to d party wuld ave advice her to settle hersef.she never told u she was raped n remember, it takes two to tangle
so its ur life, fix it

HI boyzone, accept my sympathy for finding yourself in this kind of dilemma, believe me i wouldn't want to be in your shoe for anything in this world. Your analysis seems logical to me except no 4
[b]4, if I leave her i will never love anyone again[/b][i][/i].
Believe me it may take a while for your heart to heal and respond to someone else but it will sure do, this does not mean you should not forgive and accept her if you can but don't accept her and then start treating her bad. it is more honourable to let her go than compound her trouble. [s]She is not worth all the heartaches you want to put yourself into[/s]

@ op


Dang!!

I think she has already realised her mistake and she should be forgiven. Love and hate is a decision, you can decide to love her again and adopt the little kid as yours but as someone said, it is better to discuss this with your family and her family. That is you know they are reasonable set of people anyway - not trying to insult your family but I personally will not bring this type of thing up with my family cos I know them very well.

So she has NO idea about unprotected sex? Was she raped? Was She Drunk or Drugged? WE need to listen to both sides of the story. If you truly love her, you may be able to forgive her.
But there is a big but in the middle of all of this - Good Luck on your marriage.

[b][/b]Bros i think i remember the lines that marriage is for better for worse so i will advise you not to call third party in to your marital affairs and seek the face of God. You will have to forgive her and both of you will move on bearing in mind that forgiving entails forgetting. ALL THE BEST

Get rid of that LovePeddler ass stupid bitch. The earlier the better.  If not, you are only prolonging your agony, as she is a ticking time bomb who will eventually explode.  The bitch clearly does not love you and is probably hanging around to get her residency so that she can bring her baby daddy to the States. She is also probably trying to play mind games by pretending to hurt herself and shedding crocodile tears; and if she wants to kill her self, let her do so. Because if she starts sleeping around again  because, say you went on a business trip and she "got drunk" and screwed Mukaila in your absence, the agony and feeling of being used may be so unbearable to the extent that you end up hurting her, or even hurting yourself. Save yourself from any future drama. YOU CANNOT CHANGE A BITCH'S CHARACTER-- the bitch has a whorish and deceitful character. She claimed she did not know she was pregnant for 5 months. Haaabaaa! At least a real woman will fess up and come clean when caught. How don't you know she is lying about loving the baby daddy?

Bitches like that give other women a bad name, especially women in Naija who truly love their overseas spouses. LESSON: Never bring any chick from Naija to the States or wherever UNLESS you were married in Naija, preferably with kids, and TIME has shown that she genuinely LOVES you. Spending your life savings to bring some useless trick ass LovePeddler bitch because of love wan tin tin will not do it, especially if you were in a less serious relationship or you just met the stupid BITCH.

In this case only God can advice you but if i may advise you try to find out the truth about that party becos some times (shit happens) it might be a mistake but if it's a mistake please learn to live with it . If you love her.

Princek12:

Get rid of that LovePeddler ass stupid bitch. The earlier the better. If not, you are only prolonging your agony, as she is a ticking time bomb who will eventually explode. The bitch clearly does not love you and is probably hanging around to get her residency so that she can bring her baby daddy to the States. She is also probably trying to play mind games by pretending to hurt herself and shedding crocodile tears; and if she wants to kill her self, let her do so. Because if she starts sleeping around again because, say you went on a business trip and she "got drunk" and screwed Mukaila in your absence, the agony and feeling of being used may be so unbearable to the extent that you end up hurting her, or even hurting yourself. Save yourself from any future drama. YOU CANNOT CHANGE A BITCH'S CHARACTER-- the bitch has a whorish and deceitful character. She claimed she did not know she was pregnant for 5 months. Haaabaaa! At least a real woman will fess up and come clean when caught. How don't you know she is lying about loving the baby daddy?
Bitches like that give other women a bad name, especially women in Naija who truly love their overseas spouses. LESSON: Never bring any chick from Naija to the States or wherever UNLESS you were married in Naija, preferably with kids, and TIME has shown that she genuinely LOVES you. Spending your life savings to bring some useless trick ass LovePeddler bitch because of love wan tin tin will not do it, especially if you were in a less serious relationship or you just met the stupid BITCH.

Looks like the same thing happened to you or your close pal!

Guy,

if u really love ur wife, then take her back.

personaly, I wont worry about the lady if I were u. Afterall, I'm sure neither of u were virgins b/4 u met. so what the hell!      

I think I would worry more about having to raise another man's baby.  

You guys will have to make a decision concerning the baby.  I mean you really have to think carefully in making that decision. consider all possible scenarios to ensure that u do not lose out in the future.

1. Do not get physical with her, you will land yourself in trouble.
2. Return her to her family quickly.
3. By the time she put to bed in her father's house, you would have made up your mind about your plan.

There are many responsible and irresponsible people. Do not despair, have courage and move on.

This is a critical decision my brother
but if you have the mind and spirit to forgive such an ugly act
i will advise you to do so, but if you think you can't or u know u will always remember this
no need to continue because it will ditter the relationship and u will always feel unhappy
and it might result to break-up one day and it might be too little too late.

I agree with the last post.
Drop her like a wet rag.Infact if i were you i will just return her back to sender i mean straight deportation so that she can go and meet her man.
If its ordinary Bleep without preg,i can forgive but she did it without condom .what the heck .she must be very intimate with the guy for this to happen.
Drop her like a wet rag and move on.

Guy,
The first thing you should know is that you wife could have aborted that baby, and you will never know about the affair. The fact that she had enough human feeling to preserve the child till you got to know should tell you something, she knew you will find out but did not have enough courage to tell you.

At least she was brave enough to allow the child live and await your decision, that is very far from what you will get from a lot of ladies these days?

Then men, shit happens? Can you imagine a situation where armed robbers raped your wife and got her pregnant? It is not exactly the same, but what will you do with the resulting child?

In this case you can even identify the child's father, so if you do not want the baby, simply inform him that his child is with you and keep it that simple, but keep you wife.

If you kick her out, my best bet is that the next person you will find will not really be better. Could be the set of ladies who keep looking free by aborting prgnancies. Or what is the difference with someone who is smart enough to use protections, etc. Your wife is just innocent and naive, but she is a good person.  You will be afraid of a new woman more than you are of your current wife. If you know she is not a perenial cheater, then put your house in order.

Also, how were you managing your own sexual pressure when she was away? If you slept with any other lady then, please do not throw stones just because men do  not carry pregnancies to tell what they've done!
Wish you the best cause its a challenge.

hmmmm, life stinks, you n only you knas wat u want from life n only you will leave and stick with it, at this moment i can only say you committ all to God and he sure will visit you, ALL THE BEST MAN

It's wrong and unethical but it does happen; so dear, every one has a past, but move on with some else cos u won't be happy!

@ poster,

My candid opinion is that you look to God for guidance counseling.Also if you are both legally married then your break up will have to done legally,but truly consider the repercussion of a break up.I'd suggest that you both have it discussed.

@ poster
i tink u av to be very very careful as far as this issue is concern
cos any wrong decision taken by you culd cost u a lifetime regret,
so, be careful my broda. God will see u tru sha!
woooomaaanu,

@ poster
na wa ooo
woman sha
jst try to be urself oga shit happens,

This is very sad. If you can forgive her thats fine(easier said than done), hopefully she loves you just as much as you claim you love her.

On the other hand,
Its even good you have no child with her yet so return her to her parents or let her go peacefully and move on with your life. Marriage is too important to play games with or to take chances

There is no way to hide a 5 month old pregnancy forever dont be deceived looks to me like she just used you as an avenue to bring herself and the baby abroad. Old habits die hard

if you believe her, then forgive her cos the next gal is not better. distance sometimes cause us probs.