You under self inflicted demonic bondage. It will take the special grace of the most high.However,all hope ain't lost.

Reachout to some NGO's with your exact location.

14sixty,

I am not sure why you mentioned my moniker. I don't believe in a God who punishes people and in your case a girl who made mistakes because she lost her mother at a very delicate age. I have a friend who lost her mother a few weeks ago. She is way older and she has difficulties coping with her mother's death. How much more a child at 11 or 12?

Stop feeling guilty. It's not your fault that you lost your mother and sister so early. And it's not your fault that you didn't have your mother to guide you through a very critical stage in a girl's life. It's normal you made mistakes, we all did. And most of us would have ended worse off without a mother's love, care and guidance. You deserve understanding, not accusations. Show yourself some love. I could never blame you but I feel for you girl. One of the worst experiences in life is to lose one's mother. And I can only imagine what you went through at such a tender age. It's perfectly understandable that you were looking for someone to fill in the void. It's sad you ended up with a man like this but it's not because you are a bad person. It happened because you were too young and too inexperienced and alone.

Instead of blaming yourself and feeling guilty, you need to figure out a plan for yourself and your child.

I want you to get birth control pills so that you don't become pregnant again. You have to be careful that he doesn't find out. Is it possible for you to get birth control pills?

Also make sure that you clear off your internet browser so that he doesn't find this thread here.

Where is your father? And did your mother have siblings? Are there any family members you could ask for help?

From the bottom of my heart, I wish for you to find your way. You are not punished, you are loved.

eph12:
While I think you don't type like someone that has passed through lot of pain, I believe you can take time to Google out foundations that actually take interest in helping out cases involving the girl child. They could help you get away from your baby daddy so you can make something with your life. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy and his family brings another girl in as a legal wife soon.

You don't think she types like someone who has passed through pain?

What does that even mean?

14sixty:
Pls y'all should help me state your views and if anyone has been in similar situation as mine kindly tell me what you did.

Hello 14sixty. First, apologies for not responding earlier. I will try and respond in 3 parts, salvation, situation and sucour. Please bear with me, I may be in and out, and not able to finish at a go.

Salvation: many Christians (believers) take a while to fully understand the beauty and simplicity of Gods salvation in Jesus Christ. We often try and mix grace with works, and faith with law. We get that it's by faith, but can't help thinking that we have to work to complete and or finish it.

No, no, no. And Hallelujah to that. It's completely by grace. We don't meet the Lord at point A, then he points yonder to point B, saying "We are here by faith, salvation is over there, make your way towards it with good works". No.

You are saved, when you truly believe. End of. You may stumble, you may fall, you may find yourself situationally compromised, but you are saved. Your spirit is renewed, renew your mind with the scriptures and prayer. Celestial body to arrive later

Unless you willfully and determinedly reject Gods grace and the Salvation of The Lord Jesus Christ, you are saved. No need to pray and fast for salvation - I'm not actually convinced it's something you can do.

And there is no judgement for believers, let alone punishment. Eternal judgement is for unbelievers and even then punishment is not eternal. believers have an altogether different end where you meet with the Lord and are rewarded. Let your heart be assured and be at peace.

I struggled with this early on. The day after my salvation I swore at my sibling. I thought I'd never be able to do wrong again? How can? Salvation is separate to perfection, that comes with time. And although you are a new creation, the "old man" (in the flesh) will still stir, even though he is as one dead.

Don't feel guilt if you have truly repented and acknowledged your past sins and need of salvation. "It is finished". The enemy will remind you, your flesh will agitate you, be please rest in his finish work. There is nothing for you to do.

Hope this helps. Have family runs - will be back later.


God bless
TV

You want to leave because you've found God or you want to leave cos you didn't love a man you've been with for 5 years?

The issues you're having with the guy is entirely your fault. Your boyfriend insecurity is as a result of lack of love for him.

Leaving him is not a rocket science. Involve the authorities for your child protective custody and leave but gives the baby daddy unrestricted access to his child.

TV01:

Hello 14sixty. First, apologies for not responding earlier. I will try and respond in 3 parts, salvation, situation and sucour. Please bear with me, I may be in and out, and not able to finish at a go.

Salvation: many Christians (believers) take a while to fully understand the beauty and simplicity of Gods salvation in Jesus Christ. We often try and mix grace with works, and faith with law. We get that it's by faith, but can't help thinking that we have to work to complete and or finish it.

No, no, no. And Hallelujah to that. It's completely by grace. We don't meet the Lord at point A, then he points yonder to point B, saying "We are here by faith, salvation is over there, make your way towards it with good works". No.

You are saved, when you truly believe. End of. You may stumble, you may fall, you may find yourself situationally compromised, but you are saved. Your spirit is renewed, renew your mind with the scriptures and prayer. Celestial body to arrive later

Unless you willfully and determinedly reject Gods grace and the Salvation of The Lord Jesus Christ, you are saved. No need to pray and fast for salvation - I'm not actually convinced it's something you can do.

And there is no judgement for believers, let alone punishment. Eternal judgement is for unbelievers and even then punishment is not eternal. believers have an altogether different end where you meet with the Lord and are rewarded. Let your heart be assured and be at peace.

I struggled with this early on. The day after my salvation I swore at my sibling. I thought I'd never be able to do wrong again? How can? Salvation is separate to perfection, that comes with time. And although you are a new creation, the "old man" (in the flesh) will still stir, even though he is as one dead.

Don't feel guilt if you have truly repented and acknowledged your past sins and need of salvation. "It is finished". The enemy will remind you, your flesh will agitate you, be please rest in his finish work. There is nothing for you to do.

Hope this helps. Have family runs - will be back later.


God bless
TV

thank you for taking your time, will be expecting the completion of your reply sir.

14sixty:
thank you for taking your time, will be expecting the completion of your reply sir.

Situation - Condolences for the loss of your mother and sister. Somethings have a lasting impact, even if we nominally get over them. You have been through too much, too early. You sound very well educated and/or of good background. Well spoken for someone who left school at 16?

I'm not sure how it was "impossible" to live with your father and step-mum? I can't quite work out when step mum arrived (was she a 2nd wife, or a later wife?), when you suffered the terrible loss of your mother and sister, and when you decided to strike out on your own?

Either way, you must have been treated horrendously, and/or been very rebellious? Have you really no contact with your father and extended family on both the paternal and maternal sides? Does no one care or look for you? Is there no interest in their daughter & grandchild?

It's also hard to believe a family allowed their 22 year old son move a 16 year old girl into their home? What were the long-term plans for both of you individually and as a couple? What on earth did his family think this would led to long-term? It's hard making sense of all of this.

Anyway, the very first thing I think you should consider is re-establishing contact with your family, especially your father, but as widely as possible. They are really the only people with, in a sense, ties, rights and obligations to fight on your behalf.

Ultimately you want them to appreciate your plight and be ready to stand for you. The authorities are a consideration, however, I don't know that the framework is in place, and properly functioning in Naija? for you to seek help from them. Perhaps others may know better

I think you both need to "look up" and consider the future, most importantly for your child. The seeming bleakness of your situation may be one of the things that's making you building up resentment against him. You seem to be "thinking ahead, his doing so may change his disposition.

Funnily enough, same may be happening on his side and it could eventually lead to a bitter split anyway. Then where would you be? Hence refer to my first point and do all you can to be reconciled with your family.

If you have truly made up your mind already, or ultimately decide to leave, in lieu of vows, there is nothing stopping you. But you have to think it through very carefully, from where you will go, to how you will support yourself, how you will resist efforts to force you back, whilst at the same time not denying the baby's father access. What could happen if the authorities became involved - especially if you are still vulnerable?

You mentioned other things like porn, possibly drugs, concomitant abuse, both physical and sexual in nature. You really need to be in a healthier place for your long-term well-being. Despite your best efforts, I can't see how this is healthy for baby either.

Please keep praying and looking to God for comfort in all of this. Your situation almost sounds Chibok-like, but He is faithful. Continue to keep your child at the forefront of your mind, it will motivate and inspire you. Try not to aggravate the situation in any way.


TV

If that man is caring and he does all what you stated, it's obvious he has something to say as well. Like a poster said in one of the comments, it seems it was all rosy until another phase of life took over. You made a point describing how you curse him each time he's having sex with you(the father of your child) and you think he's stagnant when all you do is curse him(that's wickedness) and It shows you as well have your own attitude. I learnt not to judge people when things are been written behind them until I hear the other side of the story. Did you said he took you in and you didn't tell him, you don't love him, when things are rosey and fun you were there and never thought he is living with his family. Are His family good to you? People from a broken home find it difficult to handle their relationship which I believe is what you are going through, you have been through a lot. I had a similar experience as well but I lost my dad and mom due to their inability to accept their mistakes. I believe you will complain if that man has allowed you do chores, go through a lot of stressful things as well. You both have your wrongs and you need to either leave him since you don't love him. I'm regretting the decision of leaving my hubby of 15yrs to a man whom I thought will make me happier. I've lifted and weighed the both sides(my first husband and the other man), I should have stayed back and make my home. Do not judge anyone until you hear from the other side. Young lady I believe you still have a brighter future ahead of you, get something that will bring an income for you and live peacefully with yourself, forgive yourself and everything that needs forgiveness in your life. NB: No one will narrate a disagreement/fight in a way that he/she wants to get blamed, it will all be narrated to his/her own's benefit. Is it that the guy has been so bad(wicked and no good thing about him). Do you mean you don't have a family? I think there is something in your behaviors as well, work on yourself and talk to God. how old is your child? If that child
Grows up and realize you never loved his/her father, you will face a problem with her. Heaven be with you.

[b]

Mercyroselyn:
If that man is caring and he does all what you stated, it's obvious he has something to say as well. Like a poster said in one of the comments, it seems it was all rosy until another phase of life took over. You made a point describing how you curse him each time he's having sex with you(the father of your child) and you think he's stagnant when all you do is curse him(that's wickedness) and It shows you as well have your own attitude. I learnt not to judge people when things are been written behind them until I hear the other side of the story. Did you said he took you in and you didn't tell him, you don't love him, when things are rosey and fun you were there and never thought he is living with his family. Are His family good to you? People from a broken home find it difficult to handle their relationship which I believe is what you are going through, you have been through a lot. I had a similar experience as well but I lost my dad and mom due to their inability to accept their mistakes. I believe you will complain if that man has allowed you do chores, go through a lot of stressful things as well. You both have your wrongs and you need to either leave him since you don't love him. I'm regretting the decision of leaving my hubby of 15yrs to a man whom I thought will make me happier. I've lifted and weighed the both sides(my first husband and the other man), I should have stayed back and make my home. Do not judge anyone until you hear from the other side. Young lady I believe you still have a brighter future ahead of you, get something that will bring an income for you and live peacefully with yourself, forgive yourself and everything that needs forgiveness in your life. NB: No one will narrate a disagreement/fight in a way that he/she wants to get blamed, it will all be narrated to his/her own's benefit. Is it that the guy has been so bad(wicked and no good thing about him). Do you mean you don't have a family? I think there is something in your behaviors as well, work on yourself and talk to God. how old is your child? If that child
Grows up and realize you never loved his/her father, you will face a problem with her. Heaven be with you.

[/b]


One of the best Advice so far . If only the man could say his own part, We all know the Excuse ladies give when they find someone richer .
Hardly would a man restrict you from going anywhere if he has NEVER seen some sort of strange/flirty sms/msg Or Sign and so on.