I've been in a relationship for almost a year now and it started out right until the economic recession started having its toll on my bf, that notwithstanding, I supported him emotionally, financially and otherwise. But he started withdrawing, calls or chats me less frequent than usual which he attributed to his financial stress and I tried to understand though wasn't easy. We both stay in the same town but might not see for a month or two. At a point i started getting drained emotionally but I still kept faith with the hope of a "better tomorrow". It got to a point that i was making more of the contacts and anytime he initiates a call, it is mostly always for one financial request or the other. I started feeling used though he kept professing love, that he was only just troubled etc. The high point was yesterday when I received his call after a couple of days and it turned out to be financial request again. The situation was a crucial one though not necessarily a "do or die" affair, I had the money but I didnt want to give in to his request this time around. I started feeling guilty later on and wished I had assisted (though one mind kept telling me it was a good decision). Pls babes/guys in the house, what would u have done in my situation?

U are wrong.Answer this one question:

would you expect him to be more understanding if the same thing happened to you and he was in a stable financial situation?

when will u ladies learn that u are suppose to assist, support and compliment ur partners sef. the guy is going thru a difficult time, and unlike ladies when a guy got financial issues, he gets moody, withdrawn and alone. and u need to know for a man to ask for money from his gf, is a rily big thing for men, expecially as it affects their Ego, so it must have taken alot for him to stoop that low to ask, and u shld knw that he really needed it.

u women are just good for the good times, thats why i advise every man to bone women, struggle, ,make money and buy a wife.

abeg learn to do whats right.

You did the right thing, he doesn't expect you to give him something everytime he ask sometimes you might not have .

MrPrsdent:

U are wrong.Answer this one question:

would you expect him to be more understanding if the same thing happened to you and he was in a stable financial situation?

So that justifies him being overly demanding and silly? He contacts her only when he needs money?? The guys would definitely shout gold-digger if it was the girl doing the same thing!

@ Poster: You did nothing wrong jare. If he loves you because of what you give him, then he should take a walk! Besides you cant kill yourself heleping you BF. Infact he should only seek for your financial assistance when it's absolutely necessary. Not when he wants to buy a shoe!

smooooooth:

when will u ladies learn that u are suppose to assist, support and compliment your partners sef. the guy is going thru a difficult time, and unlike ladies when a guy got financial issues, he gets moody, withdrawn and alone. and u need to know for a man to ask for money from his gf, is a rily big thing for men, expecially as it affects their Ego, so it must have taken alot for him to stoop that low to ask, and u shld knw that he really needed it.

u women are just good for the good times, thats why i advise every man to bone women, struggle, ,make money and buy a wife.

abeg learn to do whats right.

So because he's going through a difficult time. . .he only calls her like once in almost two weeks and that's too ask for money? and your telling me he still cares and she should keep being mother christmas? Huh!



@topic
Girl wake up and smell the coffee!!!!!

girl i dont think u did wrong, since he calls u only when he has a request to make. dats not good. its not bad to assist him but not all d time am sure he has a family let him go meet them. i ve said so becos is ur boy friend and not ur husband.

ThoniaSlim:


So because he's going through a difficult time. . .he only calls her like once in almost two weeks and that's too ask for money? and your telling me he still cares and she should keep being mother christmas? Huh!



@topic
Girl wake up and smell the coffee!!!!!

I've always been supportive of him but i started feeling used when his calls started being synonymous with demands. When he doesnt call for days and i enquire, he will say he doesn't have enough airtime but whenever he has any demand to make, he calls or if there is enough airtime, he beeps my phone or sends MTN flash. I now wonder why wont he do same thing if he really thinks about me and wants us to talk.

MrPrsdent:

U are wrong.Answer this one question:

would you expect him to be more understanding if the same thing happened to you and he was in a stable financial situation?

Oga President,
na so u wan do ur own government? Didn't u see what she wrote here?
"I supported him emotionally, financially and otherwise. But he started withdrawing, calls or chats me less frequent than usual which he attributed to his financial stress and I tried to understand though wasn't easy."
Or na dis one u no see?
"It got to a point that i was making more of the contacts and anytime he initiates a call, it is mostly always for one financial request or the other"

Abeg cut the lady some slacks and give her the credit, as if dats how u guys are so committed.

smooooooth:

when will u ladies learn that u are suppose to assist, support and compliment your partners sef. the guy is going thru a difficult time, and unlike ladies when a guy got financial issues, he gets moody, withdrawn and alone. and u need to know for a man to ask for money from his gf, is a rily big thing for men, expecially as it affects their Ego, so it must have taken alot for him to stoop that low to ask, and u shld knw that he really needed it.

u women are just good for the good times, thats why i advise every man to bone women, struggle, ,make money and buy a wife.

abeg learn to do whats right.

and when will you guys stop finding every slight reason to say ladies are gold diggers. If she was your sister, will you advice her to become his momma all of a sudden? Has she not demonstrated reasonable level of commitment? And how are we sure that its not a prank.

well as they say "its a man's world,

cutiebabe:

I've always been supportive of him but i started feeling used when his calls started being synonymous with demands. When he doesnt call for days and i enquire, he will say he doesn't have enough airtime but whenever he has any demand to make, he calls or if there is enough airtime, he beeps my phone or sends MTN flash. I now wonder why wont he do same thing if he really thinks about me and wants us to talk.

e be like say u don meet another guy?? otherwise,where is the support for a partner who is down? why dont you visit him instead of always waiting for his calls.He might just need re-assuring that you will stand by him despite the current problems

cutiebabe:

I've always been supportive of him but i started feeling used when his calls started being synonymous with demands. When he doesnt call for days and i enquire, he will say he doesn't have enough airtime but whenever he has any demand to make, he calls or if there is enough airtime, he beeps my phone or sends MTN flash. I now wonder why wont he do same thing if he really thinks about me and wants us to talk.

He actually flashes you to make a demand

If na me I go even send am sef!

I hear you MrPrsdent,
You really  have a government of your own. Well done sir.

swthrt,u did the right thing.dis guy wan turn u to ATM be that

whitesturd:

swthrt,u did the right thing.dis guy wan turn u to ATM be that

must it only be guys that will become ATM mugus?

Girl, from my own point of view, i don't think you really did anything wrong by your action. As a guy, i wouldn't want to do what he's doing. I believe that if he calls you sometimes just because he wants to hear your voice, or just want to talk to you, you wouldn't need to think twice before you assist him.

But like i always say, for every action, there's a million and one reasons. There must be a reason(s) why he's behaving the way he's behaving. Try to see from many different perspectives why he's acting the way he is. Hopefully, you'll better understand how to handle the situation. Although there's a large extent of truth in the comment below (bolded), it actually depends on the individual.

smooooooth:

and u need to know for a man to ask for money from his gf, is a rily big thing for men, expecially as it affects their Ego, so it must have taken alot for him to stoop that low to ask, and u shld knw that he really needed it.

MrPrsdent:

must it only be guys that will become ATM mugus?

Aha! Now i see where you were coming from!

Did you lie that you didn't have the money?
If you did then you should feel ashamed cos relationships are meant to be based on trust.

If you didn't lie but told him you ain't helping this time around as you ain't comfortable with him only calling whenever he requires financial assistance then you had get a big gbosa from me.
Truth hurts but pays in the end.

smooooooth:

when will u ladies learn that u are suppose to assist, support and compliment your partners sef. the guy is going thru a difficult time, and unlike ladies when a guy got financial issues, he gets moody, withdrawn and alone. and u need to know for a man to ask for money from his gf, is a rily big thing for men, expecially as it affects their Ego, so it must have taken alot for him to stoop that low to ask, and u shld knw that he really needed it.

u women are just good for the good times, thats why i advise every man to bone women, struggle, ,make money and buy a wife.

abeg learn to do whats right.

i agree a woman is meant to support a man financially, emocionally and otherwise
but that doesnt mean he should distance himself from her all because he is going through some financial difficulties
what happens to spending the good times and bad times TOGETHER
what happens to having faith that one day it is gonna work out for good for US(them in this case)
i am never gonna judge her(the poster)cause no woman would love to be used as an hanging towel

girl, let me tell you, a man that really loves you will not have any interest in your money even when he is financially down. though he can borrow some among from you but not every time. i dont think this relationship will last long

well u are the one in the situation, i suppose you should know better.

no amount of advice will change what has happened.

I've always been supportive of him but i started feeling used when his calls started being synonymous with demands. When he doesnt call for days and i enquire, he will say he doesn't have enough airtime but whenever he has any demand to make, he calls or if there is enough airtime, he beeps my phone or sends MTN flash. I now wonder why wont he do same thing if he really thinks about me and wants us to talk.

The lady has done absolutely nothing wrong.
Haba ! Economic recession or not,you still can call for a minute.If he's in a financial situation she does not have to be all
he calls anytime.She deserves some emotional encouragement too from his side which obviously is not forth coming.

na una sabi, read thru my post well, i said ''i advise all guys to be men b4 buying a wife'' u dnt need a woman to help u build a life or soemthing, go thru it alone and when u are comfortble , then u get a babe, just like every other funiture in the house. cos if u continue like this, na so so so insult u go dey get.

sis, das d best thing u could do 4 naw,, or can't u see dat d more u re helping him d more he relys on u, i dnt even think u ve any idea about wat he has been using d one's u gave 2 him in d past for?, @ least if its a financial problem,, the two of u should sit down talk and plan on how to solve d probs nd even talk about how much is involved, plzz do not blame urself 4 anything,

[e be like say u don meet another guy?? otherwise,where is the support for a partner who is down? why dont you visit him instead of always waiting for his calls.He might just need re-assuring that you will stand by him despite the current problems]

I am not seeing any other guy rather I have been very steadfast. There is no way I haven't tried to reassure him that am always there for him and that is why it freaks me that he treats me the way he does. If I, as a lady, am willing to stick around through thick and thin, at least I expect him to reciprocate love and care. Each time I try to tell him that I still need emotional encouragement at least to carry on, he freaks out saying that I should try and understand the situation. I am also human and I have my own problems too that I might need to share with my loved one (that is one of the prerequisite of a r/ship). When I am emotionally down, office wahala and the rest of them, I also need a listening ear, soothing voice and loving touch. But how can I get this when I can't really access him. It takes two to tangle.