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7tips & Advice About Relationship by Opeomoope: 8:44am On Oct 25, 2016 |
1. Not dealing with debt
When you do not deal with debt, you let
something that could potentially blow up in
your face linger. Couples fight about debt all
the time and money will always be a big
issue when it comes to anger and negativity.
Money is hardly ever positive, and not
communicating effectively about it just
makes matters worse. Both parties in the
relationship need to be honest about their
finances.
Both people in the relationship must be
transparent about finances if success is to
be achieved for the long term. This means
being honest about FICO scores, spending
patterns and debt. Not talking about money
is one of the main factors of why
relationships fail; the sooner you realize that
money is just as important as anything else,
the better off you will be.
2. Abandoning friends
Friendships are important. They sustain us
during the good times and the bad. Many
couples make the major mistake of
abandoning friendships once they enter
into a new relationship or get married. This
is a major relationship no-no. The reason is
simple – without friendships, you have no
outlet to emotionally discharge your
feelings. You also run the risk of losing your
sense of individuality, which is a major
reason couples split.
Friendships also help with emotional
balance, meaning they serve as outlets for
sharing so that one party in the relationship
does not become emotionally dependent on
the other and helps to prevent
codependency. You may dislike your
boyfriend’s buddies and he may dislike your
girlfriends however, this is no excuse to cut
ties. You will need these friendships for the
long term.
3. Not making love often
Although this may be taboo to some, not
having enough sex can be a big problem
over the long term. Making love is an
important expression of closeness and
intimacy. There is nothing to be ashamed of
when it comes to exploring each other’s
bodies and finding out what the other loves
physically. Ignoring this aspect of a
relationship is a vital mistake and creates
atrophy. Reaching for an open relationship
may seem like a good remedy but more
often than not, it’s a bad idea.
4.Letting yourself go
It’s like this – when people get involved in a
new relationship, they often let themselves
go. Here we are talking about personal
appearance and weight gain. The reason
letting yourself go in a relationship is a bad
idea relates to two specific areas: 1. Self-
esteem and; 2. Level of attraction.
First, when you skip your fitness program
because you are with someone, you are
running the risk of damaging your self-
esteem over the course of time. The sudden
realization that you have a muffin top may
cause you to hide your body from your
mate, which in turn can reduce intimacy.
Second, when you let yourself go you
become less attractive to your mate. This
may sound harsh and even politically
incorrect but it is absolutely true. While it’s
normal to not focus on your appearance as
much as you once did when you were
single, this is no excuse to completely let
yourself go.
5. Outlawing the in-laws
Let’s me real – sometimes outlaws can be a
caustic force in a new relationship. This is
particularly true if your boyfriend’s mom is a
total control freak or your girlfriend’s sister
is a clingy basket case. Part of the reality of
being in a romantic relationship means
having to deal with overbearing in-laws.
Many couples find that they are unable to
handle family influences and decide to
outlaw the in-laws. While this may seem like
an attractive remedy, it can cause problems
over the long term. Eventually one or both of
you will become resentful. This can cause a
“blame game” fight to erupt and plant the
seeds for a potential break-up. Rather than
outlawing the in-laws, try to create healthy
boundaries around communications and
interactions. Sometimes, working with a
couples therapist can help in this area.
6. Crazy fighting
Disagreements are going to happen in
relationships from time to time. How a new
couple goes about handling those
disagreements is the where most problems
can be found. You should never let a
disagreement turn into a name-calling
match and it goes without saying that
arguments should never turn physical.
If you are in a heated argument, the both of
you need to be ready to call a time out. Find
different ways of cooling off and revisit the
topic later on. If you have a pattern of ugly,
crazy fighting in your relationship that
makes more days than not miserable, the
chances of your relationship lasting long
term are minimal at best. Some people find
they have pulled in baggage from previous
relationships into their current ones. If this
is the case for you, consider going to
individual relationship counseling to work
out the issues.
7. Baby obsessed
When you have been in a relationship for a
while, you may long to have a child. While
this is a perfectly natural desire, it is
important that you not become baby
obsessed. Most couples want to start a
family at some point don’t try to force it. Just
remember that it takes two people to make
a child, and when the time is right it will
happen.
This is not to say planning should not take
place. It is always better to examine your
baby readiness. Here, we are talking about
finances, availability to care for your baby
and so forth. The problem for many couples
however is that they pursue the end goal of
having a child without giving careful
consideration to all that is involved in child
rearing.
Final Thoughts
Being in a new relationship can be a
wonderful thing. This should be one of the
most enjoyable and rewarding times in your
life. That you came here looking for new
relationship advice speaks to the
commitment you have to your relationship
and your desire to create something that
will last for the long term. We hope you
found these 7 tips useful! 1 Like |
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