10 Outrageously Overpriced Everyday Items - Nairaland / General - Nairaland
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| 10 Outrageously Overpriced Everyday Items by Ekakamba: 6:29pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
#10 – Theodent Toothpaste People who don’t brush their teeth are disgusting. So, it’s best for all of us if toothpaste manufacturers make it affordable. But not Theodent. Nope. Their innovative (read: rich people magnet) product “rennou” is apparently a component found in chocolate that helps strengthen tooth enamel. Uhm, guys. Last time I checked, chocolate actually destroys your teeth. And I’m not that keen on brushing my teeth with chocolate before bed. How Much: $300 per tube. Disclaimer: the toothpaste will not give you mutant teeth that can cut through steel and glass. So, sorry if you were planning on using your teeth for criminal purposes. #9 – Kopi Luwak Coffee Ah, liquid gold. Coffee makes the world go round. Also, coffee is the reason why basic white girls flock to Starbucks daily. It provides them with endless photo ops—of which they later post to Instagram along with millions of hashtags. I’m betting they’d be interested in the most expensive and apparently, most delicious coffee in the world. Kopi Luwak, or coffee made from beans pooped out by civets. Man, rich people must be high all the time. How Much: $600 per pound. So, who was the bright person that said, “Hey, let’s try grinding up undigested coffee beans from an animal’s poop!”? Because I need to make sure that it’s okay for that person to not be locked up in a special facility. #8 – Golden Phoenix Cupcake Cupcakes are pretty harmless pieces of dessert. Kids love them, basic girls are obsessed with them. Now, some bakeshop in Dubai is selling the most expensive cupcake in the world and according to The Daily Mail, it includes, “a whole 23 carats of edible gold sheets, Doves organic flour from the United Kingdom, Rachel’s organic butter, Premium Amedei Porcelena cocoa from Italy, and gold Ugandan high-quality vanilla beans.” Does the price come with a side of common sense? How Much: $1,060. Good heavens, what is it with rich people and ingesting sheets of metal?! What does it even taste like? Wouldn’t you set off metal detectors because of all the gold? Something’s wrong with these people! #7 – Antarctic Nail Ale Beer Beer is a beverage that can help you blow off some steam after a long day at work. It’s mostly affordable, until some fella from Australia decided to brew the most expensive beer in the world. The Antarctic Pale Ale is made out of melted water from a block of ice from— you’ll never guess! Antarctica! So shocking, right? Only 30 bottles of these were ever made. I would’ve bought a bottle if they included the tears of my enemies in the mix. How Much: $800 to $1,815 per bottle. If that’s the case, I would rather buy a six pack of some obscure, micro-brewed beer created by a hipster from Brooklyn. Because if I wanted melted ice water, I can make my own courtesy of my broken fridge.
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| Re: 10 Outrageously Overpriced Everyday Items by Ekakamba: 6:33pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
#6 – Acqua di Cristallo Tributo a Modigliani Bottled Water Water is a basic human necessity that is becoming very scarce, which is dangerous because what would we use for hair washing? Also, water is needed to make booze. Remember that. We have entire continents going to war because clean water is unavailable. Rich people are not aware of this because they have so much money, they have their own world. Acqua di Cristallo Tributo a Modigliani is the most expensive bottled water in the world, and has a bottle that practically makes it look like a relic from Ancient Egypt. How Much: $60,000 for a 750mL bottle. With that price tag, no wonder people are going to war. That water better make me pee out diamonds! (Or maybe not because that’s going to be painful). #5 – AeroDream One iPod Dock Buying an Apple product automatically puts you at the top of gadget owners because they cost a (somewhat) higher price compared to other products in the market. However, you’re going to need to buy accessories from a third-party because, well, capitalism! There are those $150 earphones that don’t even last long, and then there’s the AeroDream One that serves as a dock but looks like a spaceship or maybe a futuristic scratch post for cats. How Much: $527,463. It has a metal ladder for you to climb before you can dock your iPod or iPhone. A LADDER. Because you paid that much to break your neck while trying to stop Taylor Swift from playing during your wine and cheese tasting party at the chateau. #4 – 22-Karat Gold Toilet Paper Toilet paper is one of those things that you don’t really appreciate until you’ve run out of it. Like when you’re in a public bathroom and there’s no one around to ask for help (in a painfully embarrassing way). Rich people should have never-ending supplies of it, right? Well, yeah. Technically. These people are so rich, their butts require wiping from 22-karat gold toilet paper. And yes, it’s 3-ply, because anything less can be a very painful ordeal for your body. How Much: $1.3 million. Rip-off considering that it’s probably not that healthy to use a metal sheet to wipe your bum. #3 – Aurora Diamante Pen Having a pen with you wherever you go can be an absolute convenience. You never know when you need one— to sign for a package, or to write an irate note to that idiot who parked illegally on your curb. Also, having a pen is fun because you can attempt to vandalize everything around you— you know, if you’d like to pay a fine or get arrested. Most pens cost less than a dollar, with the occasional fancy ones costing around a hundred dollars or so. But what if you’re getting a pen for an uber rich person? Get them the Aurora Diamante fountain pen and cry at the uselessness of it. How Much: $1.47 million. Same price as a supercar, which is an equally stupid purchase because they aren’t even street legal.
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| Re: 10 Outrageously Overpriced Everyday Items by Ekakamba: 6:36pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
#2 – Royale Diamond Chess Set Chess is a mind game. It’s also what old people play so they don’t forget how to be judgmental of younger people. For those who are too young (yes, them kids!) be aware of what chess is— first off, it’s not a misspelling of the word “cheese”. Try biting on one of the pawns and tell me what your teeth think of it. Chess is a board game that’s typically made out of wood, or marble if you’re fancy. For rich people, they get fancier ones from Royale Diamond because a board game is only worth playing if it costs more than someone’s life. How Much: $9.8 million. Or something that I, and my future offspring and their offspring, would never have even if we pooled all of our money together. #1 – Codex Leicester of Leonardo da Vinci Book Wealthy people are most likely well-read. It helps to be intelligent if you’re going to be playing with a hell-ton of money. Despite the outrageous purchases, rich people need to talk about stuff that you can only read in books during those fancy parties with tiny burgers and goose liver being served. They have libraries filled with first editions of rare books, or maybe an illustrated version of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. The Codex Leicester by Leonardo da Vinci, however, is apparently the creme de la creme of books because of it’s authenticity and maybe the author (I heard he was a ninja turtle). I can only imagine what kind of pompous person decided to take that book away from a museum. Then again, his house probably looks like a museum. How Much: $30.8 million. The book would probably turn to dust if you try to touch it. Do you really want to risk it? http://v1.myfirstclasslife.com/1-codex
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| Re: 10 Outrageously Overpriced Everyday Items by eezeribe(m): 6:39pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
For ostentation |
| Re: 10 Outrageously Overpriced Everyday Items by psucc(m): 6:48pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
Op how does those items concern Nigerians? |
| Re: 10 Outrageously Overpriced Everyday Items by Ekakamba: 6:49pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
Agreed. eezeribe: |
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