My name is Chioma, a 36-year-old woman who has been married for 10 years with three children.
But as things have turned out, I am not sure I will be able to stay in my marriage after I found out that my husband, Ebuka, has another wife with four children.
And the most painful thing is that I found out only at his father's burial two months ago and all his explanations have not convinced me in any way.
I never dreamt of being a second wife neither would I want to share my husband with another woman, so I feel the best thing for me to do is to pack out of Ebuka's wife with my children so that his first wife can have peace because if we live together, there will be no peace in the house.
If Ebuka had told me he was married, there was no way I would have agreed to marry him in the first place and keeping such thing a secret from me for 10 years is the highest form of betrayal.
You can then imagine my shock when we all went home for my father-in-law's burial and while we were cooking, I noticed there was this woman who shared my space with me and we sort of related well.
I also noticed how the family members and the village people kept greeting us and calling us co-wives. In my mind, I thought the woman was one of Ebuka's brother's wife and I did not give much thought to it.
But in the night leading to the burial date, there was a family meeting called and it was there that the family head explained that the woman I cooked with was actually my husband's first wife and lived in one of his houses in the village.
The man said I should just accept the situation and continue to live as one family. I was thrown into a state of shock at the revelation and naturally, I stormed out of the meeting and went to my quarters.
Ebuka later came and explained to me that he and the woman had separated by the time we got married but that the family members had been on his neck to bring her back.
But since then, I have not been myself and I have vowed to take my children and leave him with his first wife.
Chioma."
Dear readers, you have read Chioma's story and on Morning Teaser today, we ask you to advise her on what to do in this situation.

You sef separate from him since he's playing the separation card game.

Some men dey mumu well well ooh... Wetin dey stop am from telling her say him get ex-wife for village

Amongst other unpleasant things,the man is such a coward.

The African man is inherently polygamous. Until our ladies learn to accept that fact a lot of these kinds of scenarios will keep playing out.

But they separated abi ? The husband lives with Chioma abi? She's an ex wife that lives in one of his houses abi?


OK, what's going on? Is he still married to her? Is any of her four children younger or same age with her kids? Whew some men are loonies...

The story is funny.

But in that situation, life continues.

lies

thesicilian:
The African man is inherently polygamous. Until our ladies learn to accept that fact a lot of these kinds of scenarios will keep playing out.

But the women are monogamous?

Pidgin2:

But the women are monogamous?

Yes.

thesicilian:

Yes.

Lol so women are saints? Nice

Pidgin2:


Lol so women are saints? Nice

Lol, i didn't say so, but women are statistically more committed to making a monogamous marriage work than the men

I don't believe this story, where was the marriage ceremony hold? I mean Chioma's. Where have been all these relatives? Where are the village mongers? Meaning Chioma has not visited the husband place for 10yrs which is not possible. Well if I should believe the story, my question is that the four children born by the first wife, is the last born older than 10yrs? If yes it means that they have separated before Chioma's marriage but if no it means that both of them are still happily married up till now. So Chioma it is left for you to decide and make a choice

Yes it is possible they separated and vowed never to come back again and both parties moved on with their lives. As usually is in most cases, the men are more disposed if desired to getting remarried than the woman when she already has kids from the previous union. Then after many years of her being sampled and dumped by many men who may have promised to make her life better or even marry her, then she begins to have a rethink and desire reconciliation. Pressure from family and the desire to be in his children's life will force the man's hand to accept a reconciliation. This here most often is usually the case.

The only sin of this man is not telling Chioma before they got married. And Chioma also should verify that none of the woman's child is younger than her's, else I will support her blowing hot but leaving, hmmm won't be the best option for her. It's painful quite alright, she can insist that they live not under the same roof because rightly, the man was deceptive and it is enough ground to dissolve the marriage if she seeks for its annulment. The deed is already done so she should just find a way to live with it but in her terms because leaving just won't serve her any good than romancing her ego. It's quite painful and trust betrayed but.....

The truth no African will tell you especially from the man's family is that when 2 wives are fighting it always makes the man feel in charge and important. It also makes the man's family feel good but when they get along there's fire ON the mountain for the man o.his family becomes scared. Even the man begins to feel threatened in his own home

thesicilian:

Yes.

Anything you can tell yourself to make your p5nis fell better.

cococandy:
Anything you can tell yourself to make your p5nis fell better.

perv