I am a married man not sufficiently attracted to my wife. At times I am not even able to perform due to my relative lack of excitement. She is not unattractive; in fact she is young and good looking. However, I am diseased. That leads to my second problem.Second, I am addicted to porn. Each time I make tawbah, repentance, and think I've stopped, I end up going back. The urges are uncontrollable. As a result of excessive porn viewing over many years, I've become attracted to a very specific type of woman and female body type. My wife -- and most other women -- do not fit the bill. This is a tragedy, of course, partly because my life with my wife is not satisfying and partly because it puts me at risk of committing zina, fornication, (which I've been more and more tempted to do).

Third, and finally, my problems with porn have caused me to have very bad thoughts. First, I feel I am a massive hypocrite. I pray and call people to Allah yet I commit these horrible, disgusting sins, and even feel that I am very capable of committing zina, a crime punishable by death in Islam. I am a hypocrite. I am plagued by extremes. At times I make (what feels like) sincere tawbah, and I am overwhelmed with love of Allah and fear of Hell. It is common for me to be overcome with tears at these times. These are great moments. However, most of the time my heart feels dead and I don't feel very attached during prayer and other acts.

Fourth, although I am knowledgeable about Islam, I have become confused about why Allah has not answered my prayers to cure me of my diseased heart, give me fear of Him, and put these problems behind me. I've made these du`aa', supplications, hundreds and hundreds of times over several years -- including crying on mount Arafat during Hajj, pilgrimage, -- yet my problems persist. What can I do about my problem of not being very attracted to my wife? I find myself attracted to women I see at work and in the streets who come closer to fitting my very specific criteria. (I should point out that my wife is just great otherwise.) What can I do about my disgusting porn habit (I should point out that I've tried counseling and even meetings for addicts, which haven't worked.)

Finally, what can I do to avoid being plagued constantly with thoughts of:

a) hypocrisy, and

b) doubts about why Allah hasn't answered my prayers. Please help.

Aloy since when did you become a muslim,

how can you be addicted to porn when you ve a fine wife who is ready to co operate anytime ,


The Guy should no that he is deceiving himself by going back to it after repenting and repenting, does he expect Allah to come down and hold his hand,

all of us have passion for women and in a minute we can go to brothel and pick a harlot, this days girls are cheap for fornication or adultery , from ur neighbour to friend or classmate or co worker, but the fear of God would deter us from doing it, so is ur own predicament, you should learn to control ur ego. Controlling ur ego is the main point, if you can beat ur super ego then you are safe and God's willing you will get over it




How to avoid lustful thought: stay away from what you know can tempt you.
Do not mingle with women, failure to do that you are liable to commit zina, God forbid, because you get arouse, is just a matter of the girl to agree and if she understand ur move that you are sexually arouse and she is a bad girl she will just give head, so be warned.



When though of other women glare to you the Holy Prophet said you should think this way,'what Maryam has, my wife have too, everything she has my wife have too so why should i think of her'

may Allah cure you and guide you amin, as for the rest of the muslim may Allah protect us from such a predicament amin

@Aloy~Emeka:

Finally, what can I do to avoid being plagued constantly with thoughts of:
a) hypocrisy, and
b) doubts about why Allah hasn't answered my prayers. Please help.

he needs to have intensify his worship to Allah, learnng the proper way by ahadith and sunnah, all things agreeing with Quran, supplicating and remembering Allah much. the prophet (as) said to a man to join him in making more prostrations (worship) to Allah.A believer needs to attach himself or herself to a believer group, community. Only lonely lamb will a pack of wolves snatch so easily, because there is no support system or group to blend in into whereby there is power in true strength, and large number.

thoughts about hypocrisy are not bad in all cases. it helps many times to help you know that you are just a human being, weak and should not be arrogant like those who are deluded by Shaitan claiming that they are children of God, when they have their parents on earth, and say that they are destined for Paradise (they call it heaven) when they are the big perpetrator of adultery, fornication, thiefery, gossip, backbiting, alcoholic cnsumption, etc.

by the way, feeling like a hypocrite is good because Abu Bakr and Umar bin Khattab (ra) felt like that in the lifetime of the prophet (AS), who told them that if they always feel the way they feel around him, when they are with their family (impossible), their purity would have be enough to warrant Malaika to descend on earth to shake their hands as a sign of acknowledgement of their "high" almost prophetic "level of faith, while they are not prophets.


May allah help you my family member through islam. Amin.And He helping each one of us. Amin. thanks, emeka. hope your heart will be soft enough to accept Islam before you die.

But why is allah not answering his prayers?. Does he have to go through all the lengthy process of penance before allah will answer him. His case is an emergency and needs quick fix.

does allah answer any prayers?

It is the man and not Allah, Allah has facility the man's heart to easy satisfaction i.e GOD had answered his prayer, the problem now is he is suffering from addiction, let him do what i ve recomended to him and God's willing he will be cured, first - let him gave up lustful thought

Can't allah help him with the addiction?. that is the only thing he is asking for?.If he needs to kick the habit by his own will power, what then did allah do for him?

God had already answered him, God will facilitate it for him to give up the bad thing, it is up to him to act,

Abuzola:

God had already answered him,   God will facilitate it for him to give up the bad thing,  it is up to him to act, 

If allah already answered him, why should he still be addicted to porn?. The bible ssaid he who God has set free is free indeed.


Read the tread below and make recommendations:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-351182.0.html#msg4914018

Emeka does not know that allah is different from Allah. If I were academic instructor to many of you, with the many corrections that we have made of your spelling of Creator, yt still blind to correction, you will never have progressed further than freshman in college! Unless you are saying that the Arabs, before the Islam of Muhammad and even nor that Islam is fully established under Muhammad (AS) for over 14 Centuries do not know that there is a Chineke, or Chukwu in Igbo, Olorun in Yoruba, Obangidi in Hausa (please if I do not mention your tribe's name for Creator, it is because I do not know it, and familiar examples in my book represent all, so forgive me)?

Now, Allah says that He does not change a condition of a people or an individual, until the person or persons in question begin(s) to make change. In the case of a person who is trying to shake himself off the grip of any of these evil things, he needs to spend more time making ibadah, and less time away from it, because an idle mind is a sexpool of evilness. A contaminated hand needs to be cleaned and decontaminated, otherwise the germs will not be eradicated, it may even spread even further. This is the same with the mind of a believer; he needs to increase his chances from being far away from Shaitan, temptations of his porn, and all evil things he wants to avoid, He should spend time in Masjid, reading and supplication and listening to lectures about piety and getting far away from evil things, instead of cruising the boulevard checking out women! This is the way that a heart can move from gutter to purity.

Emeka, is there a person whom Yahweh or Jehovah never answered his/her prayer, even Biblical Jesus? Were all his prayers answered? Please remember that he begged at Geshemane and yet he was hung according to the Bible. o? And please dont turn this simple observation to a big effort to defend the obvious. he was hung, accordng to the Bible and that a fact you cant deny, yet he was the holiest, according to the Bible, even made to be God. No?

@Noetics: « #4 on: Yesterday at 09:10:05 AM »

does allah answer any prayers?

Is it impossible that Yahweh or Jehovah neer answer a single prayer by anyone; Jewish or Christian religion person? Even the person you call God? I remember that God did not answer the prayers of Jesus made seeking help against being persecuted which ended by him being nailed on the wood!

Aloy~Emeka:

I am a married man not sufficiently attracted to my wife. At times I am not even able to perform due to my relative lack of excitement. She is not unattractive; in fact she is young and good looking. However, I am diseased. That leads to my second problem.Second, I am addicted to porn. Each time I make tawbah, repentance, and think I've stopped, I end up going back. The urges are uncontrollable. As a result of excessive porn viewing over many years, I've become attracted to a very specific type of woman and female body type. My wife -- and most other women -- do not fit the bill. This is a tragedy, of course, partly because my life with my wife is not satisfying and partly because it puts me at risk of committing zina, fornication, (which I've been more and more tempted to do).

Third, and finally, my problems with porn have caused me to have very bad thoughts. First, I feel I am a massive hypocrite. I pray and call people to Allah yet I commit these horrible, disgusting sins, and even feel that I am very capable of committing zina, a crime punishable by death in Islam. I am a hypocrite. I am plagued by extremes. At times I make (what feels like) sincere tawbah, and I am overwhelmed with love of Allah and fear of Hell. It is common for me to be overcome with tears at these times. These are great moments. However, most of the time my heart feels dead and I don't feel very attached during prayer and other acts.

Fourth, although I am knowledgeable about Islam, I have become confused about why Allah has not answered my prayers to cure me of my diseased heart, give me fear of Him, and put these problems behind me. I've made these du`aa', supplications, hundreds and hundreds of times over several years -- including crying on mount Arafat during Hajj, pilgrimage, -- yet my problems persist. What can I do about my problem of not being very attracted to my wife? I find myself attracted to women I see at work and in the streets who come closer to fitting my very specific criteria. (I should point out that my wife is just great otherwise.) What can I do about my disgusting porn habit (I should point out that I've tried counseling and even meetings for addicts, which haven't worked.)

Finally, what can I do to avoid being plagued constantly with thoughts of:

a) hypocrisy, and

b) doubts about why Allah hasn't answered my prayers. Please help.

To the first highlighted problem,the answer is easy,marry 3 other women that look like the porn stars you fancy.
Islam allows a man to marry  3 women in addition to his bonafide  wife if  he lusts after them.

To the second highlighted problem, make I laff first

na only mount arafat dey?
have you tried the Kilimanjaro
That maybe where your solution is 
allah may have moved on to bigger and better mountains

Osisi Ur reply sounds like that of a kid, sorry to say

olabowale:

@Noetics: « #4 on: Yesterday at 09:10:05 AM »  Is it impossible that Yahweh or Jehovah neer answer a single prayer by anyone; Jewish or Christian religion person? Even the person you call God? I remember that God did not answer the prayers of Jesus made seeking help against being persecuted which ended by him being nailed on the wood!

What happened after 3 days? He rose from the dead. Something Mohammed couldn't do. The guy in questions said this :

I've made these du`aa', supplications, hundreds and hundreds of times over several years -- including crying on mount Arafat during Hajj, pilgrimage, -- yet my problems persist.

Does he need to visit Bermuda before Allah answers him?. I am suspecting your Allah is not able to cure him.

well, u need Jesus, just like Abuzola needs Jesus too and just in case u don't know who Jesus Christ is, He is the Son of the Living God, the Almight God who made heaven and earth, he will set u free

na2day?:

well, u need Jesus, just like Abuzola needs Jesus too and just in case u don't know who Jesus Christ is, He is the Son of the Living God, the Almight God who made heaven and earth, he will set u free

Son? oooooooooooooooooooooooh, u guys are confusing me oh!

used to think he is God.ok SON nw but please dont change it to God again o

fizzybaba:


Son? oooooooooooooooooooooooh, u guys are confusing me oh!

used to think he is God.ok SON nw but please dont change it to God again o

he is the son of God which makes him co-equal with God the father, u got a lot to learn, when u are ready i will give free education only when u are ready

@Aloy~Emeka: « #13 on: Today at 07:28:11 AM »

What happened after 3 days? He rose from the dead. Something Mohammed couldn't do. The guy in questions said this :

I reminded you and Noetic that even Jesus' prayer was rejected by his Lord, you responded with the above? What relationship is this response got with the fact the God rejected Jesus prayers in many instances? Please your response better suited an impression that he did not die while everyone around him thought he did, or that he was a special man, etc, but not for proofing against my statement of fact, which you have from your Bible! You response will serve the same purpose as it did to my statement if a person had stated that Jesus was born by a woman, hence he is a human male! It is awkward and makes a person scratches the head, wondering if Emeka is alright or sleep walking!


[Quote]Does he need to visit Bermuda before Allah answers him?. I am suspecting your Allah is not able to cure him.[/quote]Alot of Bermudans are now becoming Muslims, so I wonder about your statement. If you are talking about Bermuda Triangle, please know that not every aircraft ot ship or seacraft that enter the area dubbed as the triangle disappears. The Bermudans have not all disappeared from their Island which the triangle hinges its name. If every praying person have to go to Triangle, okay every muslim have to go to it before Allah accepts/answers the prayers, what happens to all the already answered prayers of Muslims for all the 14 centuries and mounting? In my own life, I made du'as for my mother to leave kufr of Christianity, and Alhamdulillah she left. I did not have to go to Bermuda for it!

By the way Jesus did not go to Bermuda. Was that the reason Yahweh/Jehovah rejected his prayer, at least for sure the one he made at Geshemane? Has any Christian found his prayer of "prosperity (lol that should upset you. my intention) prayer" unanswered, yet, because I know there are many who are poor amongst the Christians? Okay what about those who among you who do the Porn thing, but still good christian people, believe in the "blood; shei, should it not be stinking by now?", have all their prayers been asnwered? Please stop playing! Where should the Christians whose prayers are not answered, have gone? Should Jesus have been over at the same place or where should ethnic Jews go for their prayers to be answered, if you consider that there are plenty of Jews who have their prayers unanswered, yet?

na2day?:

he is the son of God which makes him co-equal with God the father, u got a lot to learn, when u are ready i will give free education only when u are ready

oh, he is both the son and the father at the same time? still dont get it. thnx

'say 'GOD is one, the self sufficient, He beget not nor was He begotten, and there is none co equal or comparable to Him' Quran 112 : 1-4

Abuzola:

'say 'GOD is one, the self sufficient, He beget not nor was He begotten, and there is none co equal or comparable to Him' Quran 112 : 1-4

dude u sound like a broken record, this what happens due to constant chanting in ur mosque?

Hahaha, my God was beaten, was the christian god beaten and slap ? Oh yeah mathew 27:46, the differences is clear

Abuzola:

Hahaha, my God was beaten, was the christian god beaten and slap ? Oh yeah mathew 27:46, the differences is clear

yup, he was beaten for my sins, glad he took it. obviously mohamed didnt care much 4 ur sin, i guess u will see him in hell soon

olabowale:

@Noetics: « #4 on: Yesterday at 09:10:05 AM » Is it impossible that Yahweh or Jehovah neer answer a single prayer by anyone; Jewish or Christian religion person? Even the person you call God? I remember that God did not answer the prayers of Jesus made seeking help against being persecuted which ended by him being nailed on the wood!

what prayer of Jesus did God refuse to answer?

noetic15:

what prayer of Jesus did God refuse to answer?

Luke 22;42 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."



Jesu regreted at last

mathew 27;46 About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"--which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Abuzola:

Luke 22;42 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."



Jesu regreted at last

mathew 27;46 About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"--which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

i use to think u were an illiterate, now i am sure. so u know the meaning of "let your will be done"?

'Let ur will be done' if God will he will take away the cup and if he will he may not, don't u have sense ?

Abuzola:

'Let your will be done' if God will he will take away the cup and if he will he may not, don't u have sense ?

yes! do u? did u even go to primary school? no wonder islam is whacked, they have idiots like u for followers

Abuzola:

Luke 22;42 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."



Jesu regreted at last

mathew 27;46 About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"--which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

illiteracy is a disease.

He asked that God's will be done. . . .was that not what happened?

noetic15:

illiteracy is a disease.

He asked that God's will be done. . . .was that not what happened?

the dude it the biggest illiterate i have had the displeasure of coming across in life, ever ! if i were his father, i will disown him asap!

na2day?:

the dude it the biggest illiterate i have had the displeasure of coming across in life, ever ! if i were his father, i will disown him asap!

I am sure abuzola's father is proud of his illiterate son

noetic15:

I am sure abuzola's father is proud of his illiterate son

then his grand-father should disown both of them