shopie:

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I posted this topic to get an advise from people and not for busy body like you to start poke-nosing to all my write ups. I believe that Nairaland is a site that deals with all issues and anybody can express themselve the way they want. so, Fhemmmy and table & chaircover please do not disrupt others from posting their advise,than :Pks.

Surprised at your level of defense

@shopie, get out of the marriage, your points are very valid.

@shopie, get out of the marriage, your points are very valid.

Depends on the circumstances.
Either way, I have 2 choices.

1. Accept both.

Or

2. Get rid of both.


[b]From my own calculation, it must be some view months after i gave birth. my baby is a year and five mths now. i got wind of it through his mobile phone after he told me that my sister sent him a msg and i wanted to see the msg content so,there was a msg that said that an account has being open for so so baby with my husband's name (but not his last surname). i jokingly called him baba so so because i wasn't sure and the look on his face say all i needed to know, he took him some time before he confessed that the lady promised to abort the pregnancy and some few months later she called that she's having his baby and the rest of the story goes like that.
Now, my number one fear is the kind of advice have being getting from ppl. and they all expect me to forgive him just like that and i wonder where love goes? is it because am a woman and a would be divorcee single mother?

i personally give kudos to our mothers. African women do not have strong believes in themselve anymore just because she want to keep her marriage, their ego has be shattered by thier mum and grand mom, because of the advice they gave them: "Stay with the man and endure everything that comes your way because, he's your last chance.Have patience becuase of your children ". Every seems to forget thier unapologetic behaviour and the fact that i could have contracted HIV from him(God forbid). i'm just caught in between. [/b]

Your choice.
Unfortunately, it is still a man' world. Your husband would not be on Nairaland lamenting like you are doing.
You cannot be caught in between.
It is your decision to stay or leave.
No one can help you with this kind of advice.
You are married to an African man. Marriage to an African man is ALWAYS a grave risk.
Goodluck.