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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? (20724 Views)
Time To Divorce My Wife? / When Your Man Always Sides With His Family. / 'I Left My Marriage After My Wife Sat On Me And I Fainted' - Man Reveals. Photo (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by uyiekpenm(f): 8:50pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
nkemma54: if you like kill your self. I have said my own and I stand by it. state your opinion and move on boy. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by OBAGADAFFI: 8:56pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
proffemi: Since the OP stated that she has joined them(family members) for other Photoshoots, it is immature of her to insist on joining the celebrants kids Photoshoot. Oga, their are Photoshoot for the whole family, Photoshoot for the friends of the family/celebrant and Photoshoot for specifically for the celebrants kids. A matured mind should know where to belong. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by dotun365: 9:01pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
I feel your wife is right. You should have even stood up for her. She's an integral part of the family now as the wife of the 1st born. 2 Likes |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by toprealman: 9:02pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Right or wrong does not apply here. You should be happy your wife wants to be part of your family unlike many. Let it pass OK. 3 Likes |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by proffemi: 9:06pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
OBAGADAFFI: What is it with this dude? Your comprehension skills are obviously insufficient to give you the gist of my post, so why don't you stop quoting me, and quote someone else? I have nothing else to say to you; please face your lane. 1 Like |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by Medunah: 9:13pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
momentarylapse:Ruleboi, see ur life outside..... something u could av just talked through with your wife, u brought it to Nl asking people to take sides. Now, look at how ur wife is bin insulted., From petty to immature to uneducated graduate and so on. I hope you re happy now! Mehn, if my MIL is about to take pictures with her kids and I jump in claiming child, then all her kids say No oo, u shouldn't be part of the pic In front of everyone (cos am sure people witnessed it) and my husband who is supposed to have my back also joins them to shoo me?? Trust me, I'd take it personal and I think most women would. Cos u embarrassed her incase u don't know Well, thank God I don't go out of place............ 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by uyiekpenm(f): 9:14pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
everhopeful: 1000000 likes 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by Bigcake: 9:15pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Mimzyy:Toto or pusssy as the case may be. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by OBAGADAFFI: 9:15pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
proffemi: |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by momentarylapse: 9:21pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Medunah: Why are you crying over spilt milk?
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Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by shumuel(m): 9:21pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Ruleboi: Op, neither you nor your wife is wrong. You need to have a word with whoever said the picture was for your mum and her children alone, for crying out loud there is a Daughter before the In-law, and she isn't just your wife but the mother of your child, that statement was uncalled for, Bishop David Oyedapo has his family pictures out on the internet and his SIL & DIL were part of the picture, need i say more ? My mum had her birthday in September and in the picture everyone including the friends of we her children were part of the picture which even included her private nurse, so what did that sibling of yours mean by children only. Now, that she is giving you attitude is where she got it all wrong, she should had let it slide away, at least it wasn't as if they never wanted her to be part of the pictures. Solution Op, please beg your wife, even if it would require a candle light dinner, just make her happy so she can forget it and let go, then call that sibling to book, let him/her realise his/her mistake, its a good thing you are the eldest, so don't hold back,, ask him/her how s/he would had felt if you had said the same thing to his/her partner. My humble submission ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by sharpchap: 9:22pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Op be careful. A lot of the ppl dishing out advice here are not married. U should thank your stars that U have a wife that wants to be part of the family and is comfortable enough with the family to fight for a place in the picture. Its just a picture, wots the big deal if she takes one with you guys as Ur mum's daughter? Wot God has put together let no picture put asunder. Op you have a good wife don't take her for granted, and that Ur sib that asked her to leave should STFU. Immature words from an immature mind. 4 Likes |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by BTT(m): 9:39pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
femi4: If I must respond to you, then Yes. I get an invite to my Inlaws' meetings every time there's going to be one. My wife has also represented me amongst my siblings countless times. But you see, this thread is not about me, so if you excuse me, please. You requested our opinions about YOUR situation and got some for free. If my opinions are not the approval you seek, please spare me and move on. 1 Like |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by gracyblaze(f): 9:49pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Let me come from a different point of view.... I am guessing she was a bit embarssed when your sibling said (abi shouted) "children only". So instead of her to nurse her embarrassment inside, she decided to overcome it by insisting on taking the pics with you guys. Na small ish, bedroom talk can easily solve... 1 Like |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by virtual3xpert: 9:51pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Ruleboi: I think she took it a bit too far. There's nothing wrong with wanting to take a picture with one's own children. This is my personal opinion though. Please note, you shouldn't see it as one person being wrong while the other's right. See it as getting to know things about your wife you didn't know. Both of you were raised differently, and some things that disgust you might appeal to her and vice-versa. Apologise to her and be sure to note all the little things she counts really big. Because she sees things differently doesn't really make her wrong. May God give you the wisdom you need to lead and make the right decisions. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by Abayor7: 9:53pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
getostar: Million Iikes!!! |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by tete7000(m): 9:59pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Ruleboi: You seemed to take that view personal. When you already hold a position, why pushed your issue to public for advice? To me that was a good and a subjective view; it doesn't have to arouse so much condemnation from you. Someone else too can say you attach meaning to irrelevant things - what does it matter whether your wife insists she is a member of the house or not? How does it change anything if in at your mum's funeral in distant future God's willing you choose as a family to potray your wife as a daughter and not an in-law? It is all a matter of perspective. Family togetherness and happiness is all that is important. Be careful how you push family issue into a forum for debate. Many who can't even hold down a family will subtly lead you down their path of horror. Keep family issues familial. 3 Likes |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by NobleG1(m): 10:01pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Ruleboi: You didn't do anything wrong! She was at fault for not respecting the concept of that particular photograph! And that's a selfish behavior! She wasn't your sibling and had no right to force herself into that picture! Her attitude could make your extended family hate her! My family won't tolerate that attitude and they won't allow her to be in the picture! You need to be careful. You've a selfish wife who's controlled by her mother. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by Ivhagbha123: 10:09pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
You have a very good wife that knows the true meaning of a daughter in law. For your sibling to tell her to leave sends a very wrong signal. She suddenly realised that she was being seen as an outsider which she does not want to accept. You should be very happy that she went extra mile to prove her love for your family. All she wants is for you to reassure her that she is one of you and nothing can change that. 5 Likes |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by rupeelicious(f): 10:56pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Op, I know ur wife already joined in some pix, but which ones were dey? If she was insisting on joining d children of ur mother, then she wasnt wrong. Assuming u, ur sibs, she n momsy had taken a pic earlier, she wudnt hv minded if u excluded her later on. I fink d one she joined in is a much larger family pic. On d day u married her, ur mother automatically gave birth to a dota. U r lucky to hv such a wife who is persistent In claiming sonship or dotaship wt u. Lol Approach her, apologise, n make up. She doesn look like sb who wud be angry for too long 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by mykeaji(m): 11:03pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
I personally think it's a bit childish from your wife knowing fully well "ITS JUST A PICTURE" but women will be women. I think from her angle she feels she isn't welcomed or still like an outsider in the family and its understandable. there is no amount of explaining u will do that will make her see from ur own point of view. So bro, apologize to her and let her know she's part of ur family. do something to cheer her up, something to show she's part of the family!!! u will have to think about what to do... cheers bro and enjoy ur marriage |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by Nobody: 11:38pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Your Wife And Her Mom Are Very Wrong! I Wonder Why They Are Finding It Difficult To Understand, Anyone With A Common Supposed To Understand This, Not That Difficult. (Not Saying They Don't Common Sense) They Just Seems To Have Different Way Of Looking At It. Since Other Pictures Have Been Taken With Her, She Should Have Allowed Only The Children To Take Picture With Mama. She Can Join In The Picture With Mama's Children, But Must Allow Another Shot For Mama And Her Children, Is Not Bad And No One Is Pushing Her Away. Even During Weddings, Similar Pictures Can Be Taken (Groom And Parents, Bride And Parents Etc). Oh And Maybe She Didn't Know It Was Mama And Children Shot, But Was Embarrassed As How She Was Chased Away Or Something Like That. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by ststyreal(f): 11:49pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
Ruleboi:Yes oooooo, you are right. We carry the wahala for head no be small especially we the jealous type! But all the same, it's a small matter you should be able to handle and not necessary bring it here online to be debate upon, as there are so many kids and uncultured fellow here who might take the opportunity to insult and yab we the women folks. So just give her a kiss and gbam! it is over. God bless your home Amen! |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by rossychik(f): 12:15am On Dec 20, 2016 |
Op, u re right, but u knw diff. People behave differently. But dis shudn't b a prblm. And learn 2 keep things abt ur marriage personal. No need 2 invite nl pple 4 d matter afterall whether any of u is right or wrong wont solve anytin. Okayy |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by Siahnation: 12:24am On Dec 20, 2016 |
My Brother, You Were Very Wrong. You Married Her To Be Part Of Your Family Not Some Where Hanging. For Alot Of Pics To Be Taken Without Her Is Wrong, She Deserves To Take Pic With Your Mum, Dad, Dad And Mum, Each Of Your Sisters And Brothers, The Whole Family, Etc There Suppose To Be Rotation And She Should Feel Free In The Family. Congratulations, You Have A Wonderful Wife. Make Sure You Treat Her As A Queen, Her Type Are Hard Or Not In The Market. Am Sure She Loves You And Your Family. 1 Like |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by samsam2019: 12:38am On Dec 20, 2016 |
My marriage to the love of my life is almost dead now all thanks to stoopid mother in law. As for me, I may decide not to get married again. Women are just crybabies |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by middlebelter(m): 2:42am On Dec 20, 2016 |
From my own perspective as an African, your wife is right. You and your wife are now one. They day you got married to her, your mother's children increased by one. You must also make your siblings see your wife as 100% member of your family. If it's her mother that is celebrating similar occasion and its time for your mother in law children to take pictures are you saying you will not participate because she is not the one the gave birth to you? Do you want to delete the mother from the word mother-in-law? She is right to protest your action and immaturity. If you children desires a picture of children purely born by your mother you should have taken it before marriage or perhaps stay unmarried. I am a man for your information, and if a woman will abandone her father and mother, change her name to live with you and you still didn't see her as 100% your family, you deserve the protest. In fact if I were the woman, I will sanction you for one month, no bed room discussion go and meet your brother and sister. I de vex gan ni o. 3 Likes |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by baby124: 3:23am On Dec 20, 2016 |
It is a picture for God's sake. I would like to take a picture of just me and my siblings with my mother too. With none of our inlaws or even our kids. Those are memories recreated. The fact is she is not your mother's child. Not even marriage can make that possible. So she needs to chill and stop forcing things. After all if there is trouble she will be quick to remind you that your mother is not her mother. Please she needs to find work or more serious things to engage her mind than looking for trouble everywhere. Or doing photo bombs when she is not called. You must humble yourself to be elevated. At least she should have waited to be called before volunteering herself into the picture. Her mother is also a trouble maker and irrational just like her. Take note. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by TWoods(m): 4:25am On Dec 20, 2016 |
Your wife was right. Even the bible says that when a man is joined with his wife, they become ONE FLESH. What's the point excluding her from a picture with the "children" of your mom? Is she not her daughter too? Once you get married, your wife becomes your number 1 priority over your siblings... her needs/feelings/emotions must take precedence over theirs at all times. She wasn't giving you attitude, she was simply upset to be excluded from a family she assumed had accepted her completely as one of theirs. It must have hurt her to realize she was still being treated as an outsider. How would you feel if the tables were turned and your brothers in-law excluded you from family events because you were not considered a sibling? Sometimes we need to put ourselves in the shoes of others before we complain. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by TWoods(m): 4:27am On Dec 20, 2016 |
baby124: In the name of God, please disregard this type of "advice". These are the type that do more harm to marriages than good. |
Re: Who Will You Take Sides With, Me Or My Wife? by Maximus85(m): 6:06am On Dec 20, 2016 |
Ruleboi: I'm not standing with any of one of you. Is she educated? If yes, then I guess her social exposure is very low. There socio-puplic protocols which are a must follow. Teach her. |
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