She was confirmed HIV negative three years ago before we meet. And was also confirmed HIV negative two months ago.
Just last week, our church was running a free medical services. She decided to join the crowd for a free HIV test.

Lo and behold, it was POSITIVE.

I left the office to join her and we agreed i run my own test too. But i refused the free laboratory test.
We went out to pay for it. The doctor took my blood, and left us at the reception for 30min. and came back with
the report sheet. He presented it to me, but my fiancee snatched it away from me and opened it. Only to find out it was NEGATIVE


I refused to believe that her free laboratory test was correct. Because her result was NEGATIVE two months back and our relationship
has been very intimate and the wedding plan is currently going on, slated for May 2010.

Now she i going out for another test result. Am waiting to get you people updated.

But,  I really do not care about the test anymore. I love her so much and am ready to marry her
with or without the test result. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she is best thing that have ever happen to me. I know i sound stupid.
But i have made up my mind,  And its my LIFE.

I need your help, your advice on how we can live together happily ONLY, it she turns out positive again,

if u love her as u tell go ahead and marry her- despite d result love is d greatest gift af all. but also seek counselling so as to assist u guys thru dis decision

IF SHE IS CONFIRMED POSITIVE AND U NEGATIVE, THEN SHE MUST HAVE CHEATED ON YOU, THEN U WILL BE THE BIGGEST FOOL ON EARTH TO GO ON WITH THE MARRIAGE WITHOUT OUT CONFIRMING HER INFIDELITY STATUS. IF IT HAPPENS AS A RESULT OF CUT, THEN U CAN MARRY HER FOR LOVE. SHEERS

me_alone:


But, I really do not care about the test anymore. I love her so much and am ready to marry her
with or without the test result. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she is best thing that have ever happen to me. I know i sound stupid.
But i have made up my mind, Any its my LIFE.

I need your help, your advice on how we can live together happily ONLY, it she turns out positive again,

It definately is your life and who are we to stop you if you decide you want to end it sometime very soon?
My candid advice is that you both do the test again and if the result comes out the same, then PLEASE go your seperate ways.Dont allow love make you do something stupid

@ blessedean
You missed the part where if said she was confirmed positive BEFORE they started dating, abi?

@ topic
Can't tell you what to do but if you decide to go ahead with your plans pls make sure you know and fully understand what you are getting into. . .Don't do this halfway.

For both your sakes and being a sucker for happy endings i hope the free lab test is wrong.

Good luck.

my advise is that you have to be very sure of what is driving you. if the driving force is because you have prayed and you are convinced that god is leading you to her, then go ahead. outside that, you are on your own . oftentimes, all this love love love song during courtship is not always the same when you enter the real business (marriage). tomorrow when the real meaning of marriage start unfolding, dont pour the frustration on the poor girl by making her feel that she tricked you into marriage. dont also take her through a guilty-trip when the meaning of hiv starts unfolding. i can see you yelling on her tommorow, how you risked your life for her. be wise, and be sure of this your love song, or else you may end up compounding her problem.

Let her go and do the test again if it is negative go ahead with your marriage plan but if the result is positive then,
But it is better to look before you leap. Though LOVE is BLIND nut MARRIAGE is an eye opener. A word is enough for the wise. I rest my case.

@Poster,
Ask urself one important question; if we were to trade places, would she do the same for me?
Thats how it goes. HIV is not like cancer or any other deadly disease, it can be transmitted to another person. It kills.
In my own opinion, you're being selfish. What about ur parents,brothers & sisters,friends,relatives and other people who love you? Are you gonna throw away your life like that? Without even thinking about how those people will feel about your decision? Have you thought about that?
You're alive for a reason. For a purpose.Don't throw it away.

Why is she going after HIV test? Because the church medical is free? Is she not sure of herself?

Take her to a good hospital and let her have a test once again so that you can clear this shit out of your mind

You can't tell maybe the free medical test is absolutely incorrect and I know this would have drawn a lot of attention in your church

Trending Topic: She is HIV +

better go & look for another wife prevention better pass cure

First, I'd advice you retake the medical examination at another clinic and see if the result is still positive, it would be foolish of you to get married to someone who is HIV positive, since you are not infected, it's suicide .

I hear you all, and i thank you all for lovely advise.

I just do not want to get confused yet or draw up a conclusion.

I keep praying her next test result turns out NEGATIVE, then we shall go back to the
medical Consultant from the Church to re -run the test with them again.

To try the expert professionalism they claim.

Infidelity is out of the question, this am very sure. She is very true to me.

And thought of sex frightens her a lot, beside she is just 24 yrs old.

She needs me now more than anything. Just can not let her go.

Am truly and deeply worried.

Well  all i can say is if u truly love her and she loves u in return, then i see no barrier.Ask urself what if it was the other way round.
  And for those of u who are still naive and still stigmatize better get proper knowledge of HIV before u lead people to thier graves before time, out of fustration.

Live your life

Those HIV rapid tests are not always accurate they present false positives sometimes which is why they send your blood to a lab for further analysis when you test positive in the rapid test.

dont freak out yet because if you have been sexing her raw dawg all these time and yours came out negative i would want to believe that her rapid test was just a case of false positive.

P.S make sure you go with her to get her result and snatch her result like she did you too

@poster
the test results shouldnt really matter, she was + before you got to know her and we all know that some people can have negative test after being on retroviral drugs for a while.
also there are a few people out there that cannot be infected (nobody knows how/why)

PEOPLE OUT THERE BEWARE: having a negative test result doesnt mean that a person is virus free!!!!!!
educate yourselves on the issue before going to shag away brainlessly.

poster, if you want to marry this woman then do it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it BUT you should be aware of the consequences of your action and what the very short future will bring.

you should never have unprotected sex with her(unless you are ready to put your life on the line), therefore children are out and also think about the stigma with HIV in africa.

I suspect the report that says she is positive. Before test analysis can show a HIV positive test, such a virus must have been living in the body for at least 6 months. Let her go for further blood analysis before you draw conclusion.

If you plan to marry her anyways then why are we having this conversation?

The fact that she had a test done 2 months ago and it showed negative doesn't mean she hadn't been infected then. Sometimes it takes up to 3 months to detect the virus.

I must say you are one bold man!

@ Poster
You have my support and prayer: supprt for your obvious bravery and prayer for your safety. My admiration also for your unconditional love for this woman. I also truly hope that her final test result turns out to be negative.

My advice is as follows:
Get a re- test at recognised reputable health institution e.g a teaching or general hospital to confirm both your status, where you should also expect to received counselling (pre & post test) on how to cope & live with the outcome of the test result; whether pos or neg as well as when & where to receive help, in case of the former.

Yes, it is possible to live close to normal life with a HIV pos wife while the husband is neg. and even have healthy normal children; all of which should be explained to you through proper counselling at these type of places I mentioned above. 

These facillities usually have comprhensive free testing and treament programmes (VCT, PMTCT & ART) which are well funded and managed with international donor funds (PEFAR, USAID, GLOBAL FUNDS ) and with whose support you should be able to acheive the mentioned goals. 

Basically, you and your prospective wife would have learn to live positively with HIV/AIDS, in particular accept and adjust to a lifetime of safe sex as well as other safe practices to protect you and your future children from contracting the disease. You would always also have to be emotionally strong and ready to support your wife cope with her own challenges of the disease

Anyway, with love anything is possible . Good luck

Before the results come, pray, pray very hard (it doesn't hurt), and it can help put your mind to rest.

You should research the meaning of this, it means that everytime you two want to become intimate and have intercourse that you must wear protection or also contract the virus. Secondly, your children, yes there are drugs these days that can surpress it, but supposed she develops full-blown AIDS in the future and becomes very ill.

I am not saying you should or shouldn't continue with the wedding plans, in fact you are smart for making your own decision but also asking for some advice too, you could google some of this, you'll find a lot of testimonies and hopefully a lot of tips too.

It looks as if this poster is seeking for an attention, please guys, don't give it to him/her.

tashanja:

@ Poster
You have my support and prayer: supprt for your obvious bravery and prayer for your safety. My admiration also for your unconditional love for this woman. I also truly hope that her final test result turns out to be negative.

My advice is as follows:
Get a re- test at recognised reputable health institution e.g a teaching or general hospital to confirm both your status, where you should also expect to received counselling (pre & post test) on how to cope & live with the outcome of the test result; whether pos or neg as well as when & where to receive help, in case of the former.

Yes, it is possible to live close to normal life with a HIV pos wife while the husband is neg. and even have healthy normal children; all of which should be explained to you through proper counselling at these type of places I mentioned above. 

These facillities usually have comprhensive free testing and treament programmes (VCT, PMTCT & ART) which are well funded and managed with international donor funds (PEFAR, USAID, GLOBAL FUNDS ) and with whose support you should be able to acheive the mentioned goals. 

Basically, you and your prospective wife would have learn to live positively with HIV/AIDS, in particular accept and adjust to a lifetime of safe sex as well as other safe practices to protect you and your future children from contracting the disease. You would always also have to be emotionally strong and ready to support your wife cope with her own challenges of the disease

Anyway, with love anything is possible . Good luck

I thank you so much for your educative presentation,

The test would be run today, you all would get updated

mama-gee:

It looks as if this poster is seeking for an attention, please guys, don't give it to him/her.

Its a HE,  Yes i am seeking for attentions, elaborate attentions to keep me going.
Thank you anyway for your contribution.

topup:

Before the results come, pray, pray very hard (it doesn't hurt), and it can help put your mind to rest.

You should research the meaning of this, it means that everytime you two want to become intimate and have intercourse that you must wear protection or also contract the virus. Secondly, your children, yes there are drugs these days that can surpress it, but supposed she develops full-blown AIDS in the future and becomes very ill.

I am not saying you should or shouldn't continue with the wedding plans, in fact you are smart for making your own decision but also asking for some advice too, you could google some of this, you'll find a lot of testimonies and hopefully a lot of tips too.

Thanks alot

my advice to u is to follow my elder sister's advice, "there are plenty fishes in the plenty oceans"

The fact that you posted this shows that you are worried stiff about your supposedly galant decision. Don't deceive yourself. you don't marry based on pity or in order not to hurt your fiancee.
If you cant really stand the heat (that is sure to come if you marry this lady) then get out of the kitchen (we won't call you a coward) but if you do carry on with your decision, know that you have lost any right to whimper or complain later on and I trust Nairalanders, they won't shy away from lambasting you if you come crying then.
A word they say is enough for the wise. Look before you leap.

@ Poster,

All those free HIV tests are absolute bollocks! Have you now gotten the test result you paid for? IMO, I reckon that you and your woman are being unnecessary paranoid and highly naive with one another. The mere fact that you both entertain the thoughts of a HIV tests overtime, indicates to me that you guys are not totally honest with one another.

I hope this stage you guys are in right now, will strengthen your relationship and not help in shattering it. But you all have a long way to go in building a healthy and sustainable relationship with this shaky foundation.

mama-gee:

It looks as if this poster is seeking for an attention, please guys, don't give it to him/her.

My thought precisely.

Go ahead with the marriage if you love her.

Dear Poster,
You have gotten enough advise and support on your topic from GOOD FRIENDS on this Forum.
However, these are my own version of the advise/addition.
1. What led you to her in the first place LOVE or LUST OR INFACTUATION.
2. Have both of you had any intimacy together? (SEX)? If Yes, am afraid there may be a room to doubt any of you infidelity.
3. You talk of her Age, Age has nothing to do with HIV, so forget the age.
4. If truely the Proffesional Test in Government Hospital read HIV+ Then you should know the reason it comes by, It is thru infidelity or thru carelessness of cut. If it is thru Infidelity, no matter your Love for her, You are not under any Spell to marry her, even if you both had Convenant. Except you do the same too. However, if it is thru cut, then I will advise you seek the face of GOD in Prayer & Fasting before you go ahead.
My friend you got your life to live, Live responsibly.
Marriage is Till death do you part, So, Pray, Look don't only follow your mind but allow the Holy Spirit to Lead you.
Obey what ever the Spirit of God tells you, either in dreams, Vision, Bible, Quran, Tamud, Torah or thru your own SUBCONCIOUS MIND.
If she later becomes Positive and all the stage is set for the wedding I will be clad to attend the wedding.
I pray God will lead you and guilde you, he will make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you forever. Amen.

blessedean:

IF SHE IS CONFIRMED POSITIVE AND U NEGATIVE, THEN SHE MUST HAVE CHEATED ON YOU, THEN U WILL BE THE BIGGEST FOOL ON EARTH TO GO ON WITH THE MARRIAGE WITHOUT OUT CONFIRMING HER INFIDELITY STATUS. IF IT HAPPENS AS A RESULT OF CUT, THEN U CAN MARRY HER FOR LOVE. SHEERS

Kai, I almost can’t believe that there are still people like you who can hastily jump into this kind of conclusion, despite all the education on AIDS out there. HIV virus is not only gotten through sexual intercourse. There are lots of other sources. Pleeeeeeese.

OP.
I can’t wait to hear about the second test. I know someone who was tested in such way but was later confirmed negative at LUTH. I just pray yours turn out same.

If you choose to live with her, I can I assure you, you are not the 1st. both of you should go for counseling, there are ways out, especially for you as a guy, you both can live happily, you remaining negative and your children negative too. It is true.

@poster,
i feel for u bro.I know how u feel at the moment, I pray God protect u both in jesus name,AMEN