Thanks. I wish it was as simple as that. I know she wasn't skinny when we met, but normal-sized. I knew that she liked to eat, but it was after we got married that she really started to overeat. At first I didn't worry about it but after the first year she had probably gained 15 kilos and it kept going from there. She says she is happy the way she is and that she was genetically meant to be big. But I can also see that she eats very large quantities of fattening foods and snacks throughout the day. As she has gotten heavier, she has become less active and spends more time eating, just making the problem worse. It seems to be a viscious circle.

dangel:

Thanks. I wish it was as simple as that. I know she wasn't skinny when we met, but normal-sized. I knew that she liked to eat, but it was after we got married that she really started to overeat. At first I didn't worry about it but after the first year she had probably gained 15 kilos and it kept going from there. She says she is happy the way she is and that she was genetically meant to be big. But I can also see that she eats very large quantities of fattening foods and snacks throughout the day. As she has gotten heavier, she has become less active and spends more time eating, just making the problem worse. It seems to be a viscious circle.

I'm sure it's not going to be easy, but when it comes down to it, you've got to practice some "tough love". I am usually very conscious about my health, but even I go through times when I just keep eating like there's no tomorrow. I do this when I have some deadlines to meet and I'm under a lot of pressure. I notice that it is usually around this time that I put on most of my weight, because I direct all my attention to the tasks I need to complete and pay less attention to what goes in my mouth. Over the years, I have tried to improve by curbing this habit, but I'm still a work in progress.
Similarly, you can try to look for signs in your wife's habit and take it from there. I can't stress the possible ramifications of obesity. My sister is a nurse and recently lost a patient because of this. The patient was very obese, which led to other problems as well, including those that I listed earlier. He saw also suffering from emphysema, bronchities and edela (in lay man term this means a lot of liquid in a certain part of the body), in this man's case it was excessive amounts of liquid in his stomach, making it difficult for him to breathe. By the time he died, there was practically no circulation around/below the knee.
I am not trying to scare you, but if you care for your wife, you've got to talk to her and try to help her. She might not appreciate it now, but she'll thank you later.







'

Thanks Nia. That story is pretty scary, but do you think my wife's at that point? She seems to be pretty healthy apart for being obviously overweight.

dangel:

Thanks Nia. That story is pretty scary, but do you think my wife's at that point? She seems to be pretty healthy apart for being obviously overweight.

To answer your question, No. The patient was bed-ridden because he couldn't move around anymore and was having problems breathing on his own. I'm assuming your wife can still move around and can still breathe on her own. However, looking at the picture, I would say that there is cause for concern, especially if she continues to eat the way she does and doesn't see anything wrong with it. Being overweight puts a lot of pressure on our body and stresses it out faster/quicker than what would normally take place and puts our health at risk for other illnesses. One reason being that the heart has to work harder to pump blood through the entire body. If this continues for a long period of time, it will begin to affect the heart and shorten one's life span. Now, her situation might not end up as grave as the patient I mentioned in my earlier post, but I would strongly suggest that you try to see a physician, and let them give you a more accurate analysis.

Thanks again. She does struggle to get up from a low chair or if she's sitting on the floor. I've noticed that she only wears shoes that she can slip on because I think she would have trouble tieing them. Probably not a goo sign,

Sorry, man. i have no idea about what response would be helpful. Is she refusing to admit the problem because she feels she can't do anything about it? You know sometimes to avoid criticism people just clam up.

dangel:

Thanks again. She does struggle to get up from a low chair or if she's sitting on the floor. I've noticed that she only wears shoes that she can slip on because I think she would have trouble tieing them. Probably not a goo sign,

Why don't you try replacing food items in your fridge to healthier versions. And if she asks why,  (WHITE LIE ALERT!!!)  say, "so and so recommended this different version of  [insert item], his wife bought it last month and they said it was very good and even tastes better than the other one." 

I would recommend switching to organic foods. They're much healthier and just as tasty as regular food items. The only thing is that they're a little more expensive.

If him or her being fat really upsets you then you and he/she need to discuss it. However, not all fatness is harmful - moderately overweight people are actually at an advantage in some areas, especially if they also exercise and eat healthily.

The real issue here is the personal dynamic. Most heavier people already have an awareness that they are heavier, some actually are naturally heavier. Many times they are comfortable with their size, in others they are not. In the former they are not really interested in losing, in the latter they are likely to be insecure and resentful. Bottom line: any advice not asked for is going to be resented. Ask yourself, how would I feel about someone trying to change me without being asked?

Now a real surprise - do you know that some people actually LIKE fatness, either in themselves or in others? Before bringing up to another person the issue of their changing you need to first determine how they feel. If they change it should be primarily for themselves, not for you.

starve him till he returns to the desired size

Send him to the gym

Hey there is a non judgemental site that deals with this issue.

Its for people who are married to fat wives and husbands

www.myfatspouse.com

Before you start whining about spam at least look at it, ITS NOT SPAM, its a real support group for people have this issue where they don't get scolded about being shallow for having natural opinions.

On the other hand they don't tolerate "Dump the Fat B**ch" very well either there are real people who are in this situation that have real ideas and suggestions.

What you do not want to do is keep telling her she is fat.

Otherwise she will get bigger - just tell her nicely that u wanna get a bit trimmer and both of you can go to the gym together.

Just help her with the calorie intake and she will keep up. If you can sign her up to a calorie counting class, then its ll good.

As d woman, put him on a diet, u are d one cooking and fattening him anyway, so research into healthier alternatives, less fried stuff, fruit instead of ice creams and chocolates for desert, less carbs, less meat, more fish, lottsa veggies etc

[tr]Discuss it with her/him, let her know what u want, help her try to achieve it,, but if she keeps blowing up. why, alternatives dey now. [b][/b][/tr]

In a woman's case, guess she gets fat cos' you feed her properly. Its' a sign of good health in abundance

I will still love him that way. There is just something about his soul I cannot resist.

And as long as "business" is not interfered with, he can fart on me as much as he likes!

tell him/her for check up especially check the liver if is functioning very well.

throw up whenever I see him. Too insensitive? Well he should have known better than to become like a pot bellied aristo!

michelin89:

throw up whenever I see him. Too insensitive? Well he should have known better than to become like a pot bellied aristo!

Why not join him instead, and be his supporter. there is a lot of weight losing solution out there

When my spouse starts getting fat, the thing to do is to go buy a new bigger bed and matress.

i'll only talk to her and encourage her to start a weight loss program which I'll join her in as my means of supporting her.

But weight or or no weight, I'll still love her all the same.

When Your Spouse Starts Getting Fat: what should you do?
direct him/her to the gym and give your full support

Get a bloody needle and be ready to puncture the balloon!

It's been almost a year since i last posted. I did talk to my wife and for about a month she tried to lose weight, but she was cranky, unhappy and quit. Now she has gained even more weight.