Most times, I try to be that bigger person, even in the most crappy situations.

Hurt people, hurt people. I get it. But sometimes, I’m not in a position where seeing things, this way is a viable healthy solution for me. Forgiveness and compassion, can fetch you the moral high ground, but it requires labor; being a Man in Nigeria alone, means I expend so much labor just surviving…
There are times, when you are hurt by someone, you seem to be higher than you, someone, you feel is far more better than you, but that’s where the lotto is being played… Low Self-Esteem.

What about being hurt by someone ,who’s hurt? and I’m in that puzzle of not knowing whether to be the bigger person or just go all vocal and haywire… I mean, why do I have to be that bigger person again, knowing fully well it will always haunt me emotionally, because I couldn’t vent or be on the innocent side for once, or getting to be the one that was heaping the blames on the other half. Now, I get to be the one that’s hurt, left devastated deep down, all for what?; because I never wanted to hurt anyone, because I wanted it to just slide, because I wanted you to be happy … but deep down, like deep down, I’m getting roasted, all because I’m being the bigger person.

And then what? I’m being seen as weak , one who can be dominated, subconsciously making my feelings worthless and of less importance…

But hey! a little surprise, would you mind, if I told you, I’ve learnt when to play the bigger the person role and when not to. as ive finally found out all it does, is to encourage turning the other cheek, which is now being the usual routine, as I have to always turn the right cheek then left and right again and on and on it goes… But now, I’ve decided to stand up to whatever, it is you’re bringing my way and having to let you have a feel of what’s been on my mind.

Hopefully, I won’t be seen as weak anymore…

Adios.

Originally posted in; https://urbanoversabi./2017/02/13/when-being-the-bigger-person-hurts/