I first want to thank all of you who took the time to voice your opinion.

i'm sorry i took so long to respond. i wanted to read each and every response carefully. i have read a pleasantly overwhelming response and i'll tell you i wasn't shocked at all with the some of your opinions. i wanted to award a lot of you stars but unfortunately only three stars can be awarded. so i chose not to award any. it was too difficult to choose. however one response summed it up perfectly. took my words right outta my mouth, I hate to say this but, I bet that everyone here who said that their children come first is divorced from the parent of their child or in a miserable marriage.

1 - Children are not strong enough to be the center of the family.
2 - It's not good to spoil children with that much attention. And once you start, they are very hard to wean off of it,  if a child knows he/she can get his way by throwing a fit or crying, they will ALWAYS do it.
3 - The children will NEVER get to see what it's like for two adults to really love each other and be affectionate with each other.
4 - The children will expect to always be the center of attention and receive constant praise for everything they do.
5 - The kids will grow up, thinking that the world revolves around them, and that their spouse should treat them the same way their parents did. Of course, then THEY will get divorced too, which is a very painful process for anyone with half of a heart.

What kind of parent would be so selfish as to deny their child a chance to see what a healthy adult relationship is supposed to look like if they could show them one? That's exactly why a married couple with kids should have: - Date nights - Hot intimacy - Time when the kids go up the street and play with friends - Vacations - Family together time where the adults are affectionate to one another - The adults should be able to snuggle and kiss while STILL giving some attention to the kids The children actually benefit if they learn early on that it's NOT all about them.

They also grow up either in a broken home, or with two parents who barely even KNOW each other because the kids were put first. There is NO WAY an adult relationship can even survive if it's not attended with high priority most of the time. Of course, the children SHOULD be a priority, a close second,  or even tied for "first" as part of the family if you consider the world of good it does them to see that they are NOT the most important thing on earth, and they get to see what give and take and love and forgiveness looks like between two happy adults,  instead of two miserable parents who can't stand each other.

If you hear someone talk about how their husband "went nuts" after X number of years,  expect that there was a ton of passive aggressive, insane-making, neglect and other behavior going on. Most marriages don't just break apart with a loving, perfect wife and the husband just goes insane because he's a jerk-man. Chances are, he's been tortured emotionally and thrown on the back burner for a LONG time before he finally breaks. You ARE right, put your spouse FIRST if only to show your kids how it should be done so that THEY don't have to hurt too.

Peace out. . .

men are important.

For those who put kids first, and who give reasons of infidelity of the man and all sorts, You are assuming the man will be a bad man and the kids will be wonderful,

OK, Consider this, lets compare like situations.

If you had very stubborn nasty unruly kids, who don't care about you and who cause you so much pain and anguish ( we all know the type), and a man who is is as nasty as you say he is! who would you put first,

Also if you had a wonderful, fantastic & dotting husband, the envy of your friends, who put you first above all, except GOD, even his job,, etc, who loves, worships the ground you stand on, and you had kids like him, loving wonderful angels, who would you put first,

desthan , you hit the nail on the head, If one has that mentality, that the kids should come first (whether you have kids or not), please think it through, search the Bible for the truth about marriage and kids, Your partner SHOULD come first (you should love, cherish, adore, etc, ), the kids a very close second(you should love and TEACH them about God, life, respect) , Remember that your kids WILL learn about these things, relationships, respect and love as they OBSERVE how you treat their dads and others, so please be wise, Eventually all the kids will leave home, to start their own families with the lessons you have taught them "knowingly and unknowingly", and you will be left with the man you have relegated to the background, what will you do then, will you keep interfering in your kids life

thank you.



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Give someone the gift of a smile today, it costs you nothing.

Just checking to be certain the insane post has been put to rest

ud4u: Of course my Husband.



My sister you have said it all, because letting my husband go is as well as letting my self go, because two of us are one.

Well thats my own point of view, some people may have a contrary view.

Thank you sister. My husband is my priority. He's the next person after God. He caters for my needs, feeds me and my kids, gave me a shelter as well as clothings. He works in order to earn money to take care of me and my kids. For the truth to be said he comes first in everything

both are important, you have to find a balance between husband and children