@poster,
I understand how u feel, this is not a feeling for the chicken-hearted. However, I will want to believe that  this story is incomplete kind of. U see in dis issue, noting less than d truth can solve this problem.
Observer yourself with all sincerity.  things you think u do that are not proper against her irrespective of her behaviors, stop them. e.g do u delay shouldering some financial obligations?, do u keep reacting unfairly to her anytime she demands something? do u have any other affair? etc?
After dis analyse her too. when u are done, summon  her for a meeting by waking her up  at about 12 midnight. start making analysis of your own wrong attitudes towards her and let her know u have come to realization of that and that you are willing to make a change and then point out her misbehaviors too. explain with calmness and ask that for the sake of your matrimony and your kid, there has to be forgiveness and reunion. Love mus return. Do your best and control your temper too.
Good luck,

Y.M.E:

I don't know the whole situation, or what you yourself is like (no offence) seeing that she cannot plead her case. All I can say is that a few things must have gradually slipped out of place without both your notice until it got this bad. But in anycase, God is able.

From a little experience, an unhappy or ungodly woman can do more damage than any weapon of mass destruction especially in her home. I'm sure, you have both put a lot of effort into your union over the years, that must be worth something not to be wasted. And I am sure there was once a time when you could do an impossible for her. You just have to take a trip down memory lane in all HONESTY and try to find and acknowledge the cause of this present war front of a home.

A few points to note: Insecurity is a destroyer of many things. And I sense that; to some degree in her case with reference to her insults for your "not calling the inlaw (keyword: "LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE"" instance. Such instances suggests a case of desperation "to fit in" - (insecurity/lack of self esteem/plead to be accepted). I just hope you had no part to play in putting her down to such level. Another source of her present state could be from a lack of identity, leading to a sense of irrelevance and lack of self esteem especially if she has had nothing doing for a while. Again, your responsibility as a man to appreciate and cherish her and do anything that might help her insecurity or lack of self esteem. Things like compliments, assuring words etc, incase you overlooked those over the years. Develop a sweet tongue (you know the drill).

Solution: Bathe her in love, it will be difficult seeing that you are unhappy yourself; but somebody has to be the bigger person. I don't know where you currently worship, but you need to find a living church where the undiluted word of God is spoken. That will really help both of you especially her. Wisdom comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. If I am being too religious for you, try this one: "Evil communication corrupts good manners". Understanding and implementing that quote appropriately in itself, can transform your situation.

Last but most importantly, go to God in prayer.

A divorce should be your very last option, and if you must choose that option, do seek some spiritual guidance.

NOTE: I HOPE YOU ARE NOT THE TYPE THAT IS ALWAYS OUT AND HAS NO TIME WITH HIS FAMILY. If that is the case, you and you alone is responsible for your problems.

God help you.

IN FACT ITS AS IF YOU U KNEW HER.I THINK THATS THE PROBLEM.AS A MATTER OF FACT I WAS ADVICING HER A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO THAT SHE SHOULD DO A COURSE LIKE NURSING --THAT THAT WILL MAKE HER FEEL GOOD AND MAKE GOOD MONEY AND BE APPRECIATED BY NEIGHBOURS AND THE WHOLE WORLD.I HAVE REREAD YOUR POST MORE THAN TWICE.I WAS THINKING OF ARRANGING AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOU BUT ALAS U ARE IN THE UK.PLS PRAY FOR US TOO.THANK YOU.

My Man, I won't bore you with all that talk about "For better for worse" etc. I am sure you have heard them enough. Let's cut to the chase, No one is perfect, Nothing is perfect.

For a start, It would be nice to know if you got to know your wife well before marrying her, did you date (courtship) her well. if yes, then you have to make the marriage work. - Marriages are made in heaven, but the maintenance is on earth, and my guy it needs maintenance. you need to work.

Your primary work here is to talk, communicate, and give example. make sure you do your own bit (cos you did not tell us your own side of the story), I am not saying that you cause the problems, but like I said nobody is perfect.

So please talk to her and never get tired of talking, educate her, love her and keep loving her, be very logical in all you do and let her understand the total meaning of all your talks - even when you keep quite, she will need to understand all your unspoken words,

I can say I married one of the best women on earth, but I am not denying the amount of work I put in so we can smile, love each other and be happy and men,  we really are,

I wish you luck. your wife is not a devil, nobody is,  so try a little more.

If you think you can't handle the situation right now, if you find it's unbearable too much, I suggest that you leave the matrimonial home for a short while, a respite and spend some time in prayer, immersed yourself in the Word of God, seeks ministerial counselling, get yourself grounded in faith and established yourself in character like love patience and meekness etc,
Then you can go back to your matrimonial home. But you have to get the Lord's leading on this, to leave for a while.

olelle:

If you think you can't handle the situation right now, if you find it's unbearable too much, I suggest that you leave the matrimonial home for a short while, a respite and spend some time in prayer, immersed yourself in the Word of God, seeks ministerial counselling, get yourself grounded in faith and established yourself in character like love patience and meekness etc,
Then you can go back to your matrimonial home. But you have to get the Lord's leading on this, to leave for a while.

Leave for a short while and what will change afterwards?

YOU WAN'T TO QUIT, PLEASE QUIT WHY CAN YOUR WIFE BEEN CURSE YOU @ ALL TIME ITS REALLY SILLY SHIT

How in God's name did you meet her?

O boy! be careful on nairaland o!! 8year old, 17 year old, anybody even an infact<kidding> fit dey talk anything to you.
My advise? Talk with someone you both respect in reasoning and in age, maybe your pastor or church counsellor.

Has anyone thought about the child in all this, how this could be detrimental to her in later life, sometimes one good parent is better than two parents who quarrel all the time, regardless of beliefs, religion etc a child needs a stable, loving home life