Russian Interpretation of Press Release

President Buhari travels for cerebral check down

President Mumu Bubu carries two Ghana must go bags stuffed with oil proceeds tonight for cerebral consultation with his colonial-era doctors in London. He was offered similar treatment in Karachi and Dubai but turned it down saying that the level of care provided by his ‘ummah’ was not at the same level provided by ‘dem oyibo’ (his words). Before take-off, he prayed for Nigerians to have the fortitude to bear the presidential power vacuum, incessant power cuts, one meal per day, armed robberies and fake pastors. Meanwhile, Bubu will be enjoying 24 hour electricity, MRI brain scan, 3 meals per day and the best that forex can purchase despite his defacto naira devaluation over the term of his presidency.
He had planned to leave last week, but decided to wait for the annual miyetti allah cow race in Daura and for the arrival of 82 girls from Niamey who were to be used cynically to stand in for the original missing batch abducted from Chibok.
Bubu was also at pains to stress that his 2015 election pledge of no foreign health care for government officials was not a literal pronouncement but an abstract desire to provide inspiration for other Nigerians to construct other possible policies based on fantasy and not reality.
The length of the President’s stay will be determined by Allah not doctors. Government will continue, led by his hand-picked cabal of thieves and sycophants who have already moved into the inner vaults of the Central Bank of Nigeria to begin a three month repainting project to mirror the Sistine Chapel in room to honour their political god-fathers.

Femi Adesina
Personal witch doctor and secretary

Seriously speaking.

Brah

Stupidity runs deep in some genes




Imagine President carrying Ghana must go up and down?



Let's not forget that any attempt to receive medical treatment from Arab League would be turned to a media frenzy about how Buhari has gone to perfect islamization of Nigeria


. We've seen it before

Bros, you just blew the greatest whistle of all time. You have achieved immortality, it's yours, take it

No wahala. Satire is the aspirin for all political headaches.

normally things lyk these should b met wit scorn buh i cant blame anyone making fun of the ill health of our so called president...which someone could jus whisper to him that life comes first in dis world

Bros no vex abeg

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