Hello! I'm a college student in America. I have a roomate that recently moved here from Nigeria. We have become friends. She usually seems really nice, and we have quite a few things in common. The only thing is that she is always telling people how physically unattractive she thinks they are. She has never met my sisters, but she saw a picture of us, and she kept saying telling me, and others, that they are so much prettier than me. We all look about the same to me, and no one else seems to think that. (in fact, I was a beauty queen in high school). I can't imagine anyone else saying anything that rude. She says that i'm a master with makeup, even after I've only spent about 2 minutes putting it on, without any extra effort. I'm a little afraid that she's going to tell a certain guy this.  She told another one of our roomates that she's so ugly that she scares the boys away. I don't know if she is just trying to be honest, and it's not considered to be rude to say something like that in her culture or she's trying to be mean. Anyway, I don't want to be hurt or get mad at her for just saying what she thinks. She is a nice girl in a lot of ways. In America, most people wouldn't say these things because it would be rude and could hurt other's feelings.  Do you think that she is trying to say rude things or is she just sharing her opinion?   Thank you for your advice!

Shes just rude!

Lol, thank you. So she should know that it's innapropriate to say that. If anyone else has an opinion, I would like to hear it.

I agree she is rude and she is probably feeling insecure about herself, insecure people always try to bring other people down that is their defense mechanism so people don’t see through.

Tell her exactly what you feel about her comment and hopefully she would stop saying them.

she's not rude that are naija people act in general and it's common around the young ladies the most. anyway leave her alone, she will meet one crazy akata gurl and that one will teach her some lesson. so i will advice u to relax and be mellow.

Omo Eko:

she's not rude that are naija people act in general and it's common around the young ladies the most. anyway leave her alone, she will meet one crazy akata girl and that one will teach her some lesson. so i will advice u to relax and be mellow.

strange, i know i'm always around naija girls, i've never met one that acts like that.

@topic your room-mate is so insensitive it left me gasping , you should tell her how you feel about her behavior, like some one said she prolly has alow self esteem so shes tryna bring errbody around her down!

if she still continues to behave so rudely afterward then she needs to be dealt with!

She may be prone to the insensitivity of some privileged kids from class conscious African society, which you can relate to the attitude of some white Americans, borne out of racism for the most part. Just tell her how you feel and make your decision on the friendship. And BTW, it's not a Nigerian thing.

Its rudeand not done.
Well i have a set of friends and we spend time abusing ourselves.
But its only among this set because we know its not normal.
Maybe its JJc and she thinks its cool i do not know.
Let her know if she gose no like that she will not have many friends and if she has nothing nice to say she should shut up.

Some people are just rude like that.

However, are you sure she is not just kidding? For instance me and some of my friends call each other ugly and say we are the most beautiful thiings on earth but are just kidding. If anyone insulted me or those same friends you will see how fast we will defend our friend's TO THE DEATH! lol! It is just our way of relating - friendly banter if you will and I was born and raised in England, some of those are joke with are Jamaican and yes some are Nigerian. But I know who to do this with and how to say it to make it obvious it is a joke sometimes if it is not clear I even say only joking! If you say you and your siblings look the same then maybe she is doing the same and expects the same in return but does not realise you are taking it offensively. It is stupid on her part though as she has just met you, the peeps I do it with I have known since early secondary school (12 years). I don't do it with those I have known even for three years as I feel we don't have tat kinda relationship and would not wan't them to believe the things I am saying I actually believe. Anyway ask her if she really means it when she says your friend is ugly - it may make things more clear for you and you can just say you and your friends are not used to it and you thought she was serious and ask her to tone it down (if she says she was joking). If she is not joking, then just opt to move rooms, you don't need people like that to put u down.

It is not Nigerian to tell someone who you befirend ugly and actually mean it! It is just a mean thing. SIMPLE. If anything, we lie to our friends who are ugly and make them believe they are the most irresistable thing alive even if they look like a leper! The most we may do is be rude about someone's outfit who we care about - 'cos that is fixable!

Thank you so much for the replies.  We're not talking to eachother very much anymore.  I'm glad that I understand her, and don't let her treat me like that.