If any girl is going out with me, then she has to be ready to pay her own bills cos i am not going to pay, unless its my l babe or wife. I dont go by any school of thought that mandates me to pay for somebody who does not do anything 4 me.

what is this "man enough" terminology that some people are using? in any case both parties should count the cost b4 ever making movement.

mhhhh *caughs*
who says whatever a man can do a woman can equally do it. Woman emancipation abi?
But this issue looks more like a GSM call centre.

I thought Women are fighting for their right?Whatever happened to the Beijing Conference?

Anyway, to the topic, I will never ask you out if I can't afford it.

And If she's asking, I make I a "point a duty" to ask her who's paying.

Ironed out, I don't get myself in embarrasing situations like having to be looking at each other's face after a "nice" evening.

ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh my brother, talk jare.

If I ask her out, I'll pay. But if she asks me out, she'll pay.

ahh this is very simple... the Man is suppose to pay fullstop.. no two ways abt this question.

goodguy:

If I ask her out, I'll pay. But if she asks me out, she must pay.

...except if she's not financially capable to do it

it depend on who invite each other;if it is the man who did definitely he should made the payment,but if she did by inviting me hoping am going to made the payment,infact satan go first of all knock her mouth immetiately she pronounce pay.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who is an askee, if I may ask?...

The one who asks the other person out

You want to take a girl out and u dont want to pay,i dunno,doesn't sound rite to me

why are my african brothers pretending as if they don't know wats up na?


Any way, this thing is all about the culture of ppl in ur end. Whether u like it or not, a proper Nigerian babe wld expect you to pick up the bills (dunno abt anywhere else). so all these talks about askees and askers, 4 get it!

A Nigerian babe wants a guy that is capable in all ways. Maybe when things gets serious btw u two sha, she fit soft-pedal.

Naija babes, if i lie make u na tell me!!!!

I think the man should pay.

Quite obvious that whoever brought up the idea should pay.

DASKACE:

Quite obvious that whoever brought up the idea should pay.

Exactly!!

To reply the person that suggested that I'm perhaps not as emancipated as many others I would actually agree with him.

I think men and women are different. Women do not open doors for men but we d o for them. It's nothing to do with thinking that women are lesser than men or anything like that which would be totally abhorrent but with the fact that at least our women look up to us (whether they admit it or not) and expect us to look after and care for them. Taking a woman out and paying is part of the process afterall it is the man that is doing the wooing!!

In our culture, men pay a bride price etc etc. As an african man I see it as my responsibility to care for my woman and to try and provide for her. Yes, in case you were wondering, a woman these days can earn more than a man and thats ok but the man must still do his bit...he should still take her out and do whatever he can. She can deal with whatever she can deal with.....

Soulful:

To reply the person that suggested that I'm perhaps not as emancipated as many others I would actually agree with him.

I think men and women are different. Women do not open doors for men but we d o for them. It's nothing to do with thinking that women are lesser than men or anything like that which would be totally abhorrent but with the fact that at least our women look up to us (whether they admit it or not) and expect us to look after and care for them. Taking a woman out and paying is part of the process afterall it is the man that is doing the wooing!!

In our culture, men pay a bride price etc etc. As an african man I see it as my responsibility to care for my woman and to try and provide for her. Yes, in case you were wondering, a woman these days can earn more than a man and thats ok but the man must still do his bit...he should still take her out and do whatever he can. She can deal with whatever she can deal with.....

Soulful, I assume you are Nigerian. Now my question is this: Did your grandfather and great-grandfather open the door for their wives? I sincerely doubt it. That is culture. According to our culture, a woman WAS your property, and you bought her off her parents. When you married her, you could do ANYTHING you wanted with her. That is culture. Opening the door for women on the other hand is NOT Nigerian culture. You have a choice here, if you choose to follow Nigerian culture, follow it to the end. If you choose European culture, follow it through as well. But remember that the idea of a man being responsible for his woman comes from the days when it was an abomination for women to even answer back to a man. In those days, you had to take care of your woman, the same way you took care of your children, your farm, and your animal. I suggest that by encouraging women to pay for themselves, we are actually giving them an equal opportunity. But the fact is that most women would rather take the easy part of european culture and leave out the responsibility thereof. And apparently some guys will let them.

@Snazzy: long time no talk/fight over 2-face  All the best with your new sweetie. Treat your selves well ok twinny?
So back to the topic,My answer, being the real Nigerian girl that i am, would be that the guy pays. Then again I guess it's only fair if whoever asks to go out pays. I observed though that most people in Canada believe that each person should pay for their meals, irrespective of who asked to go out.  *i don't exactly like that idea*

ocho:

@Snazzy: long time no talk/fight over 2-face All the best with your new sweetie. Treat your selves well ok twinny?
So back to the topic,My answer, being the real Nigerian girl that i am, would be that the guy pays. Then again I guess it's only fair if whoever asks to go out pays. I observed though that most people in Canada believe that each person should pay for their meals, irrespective of who asked to go out. *i don't exactly like that idea*

I'm not surprised. Everyone wd like a free meal, and the fact is that the average Naija woman is selfish and wd never ask you out on a date.

selfish ke? yee kpa! ok, another fact i know is that the average Nigerian girl won't ask a man out not becos she's selfish but becos of morals and stuff like that. i won't bother go into details about the morality stuff cos that's not the point. I also know for sure that the average Nigerian girl can and will pay for a meal if her man can't. She just loves being taken care of that's all! and that dosen't make her selfish at all.

Gash! Why ask somebody out if you can not pay? It doesn't matter whether is a s/he, the askee pays the cost of request. Period!

Banderas...

According to your post then I have to choose to support whatever arcane and inhumane traditions that we have ...

Well I do not. I proudly state that I pick and choose from among the various traditions that exist. Those that fit my bill I keep and those that disturb my peace, I discard. I also stated in my original post that I'm not opposed to a woman paying if she asks me and out and states that that is her intention. It has happened to me on more than a few occasions.

Also, to those who say Nigerian women are too selfish with their money, this is not strictly true in my experience. I mostly have female friends and they can usually recount a tale where they have given A LOT of money to some guy that they loved only to see him cheat etc etc. I'm no apologist for naija women and can also recount a list of crimes longer than their weaves but on this issue I think maybe some people are being a bit harsh. My ex- took a loan out to help her ex-BF to start a business and he moved on when he felt time was time (thats not the only one I know). I'm sure you know similar stories.

However, to return to the original point, we take out the women (usually), they treat us as the head of the home (usually) etc etc. We are different...equal but different. Nothing wrong or chauvinistic about that!!

Ocho....

BTW whats morally wrong about a woman asking a guy out??

I feel settling who foots the bill should have been sorted before setting out to munch. A good example is this : A guy had been asking me out for quite some time but i always turned him down, but one day, i decided to give him an hour or so of my time. He suggested we go to a restaurant and i agreed but asked him immediately if i was the one taking him out or vice versa. He tot i was kiddin (Probably he hasn't heard a thing like that b4) He said i shd. Then we went and after the meal, i paid the bills and we went our different ways. Till now, we are best of friends. we didn't get into any r/ship though and not cuz of bills or wotever......we were best as friends.

Hahaha dis topic is so controversial!! see all de guys wey dey talk say make woman pay! you know say if a woman pay for d date, your own don finish be dat, becos she go either collect dat money back with interest... or label u an "Ijebu" and dump your sorry arse! . You know how we chicks like to spend your money, not ours! Its called LOVE!!

snazzzz ehennnn!!! tell me sumn!
bk 2 topic! who payz uhmm lemme see!!  

I always tell my girlfriends that please always take your own money with you .

No matter where you are going be it movie or restaurant..........some Nigeria guys act strange.........they can pick up a quarrel with you at the last minute to paying the check........and the guy would just leave instead of him to politely say he is broke . I have seen this happen to many of my friends so in that instance, you had better be prepared incase of the unseen.............Nigeria guys change your ways.

lol lol lol una dey hearrr change your wayz lol lol

Soulful:

Ocho....

BTW whats morally wrong about a woman asking a guy out??

I didn't exaclyt say there was anything wrong in it, this is why i didn't even want to bring it up in the first place.I was just backing up a point i made to  Banderas about about the average nigerian girl.
@chilling; it's got to be the guy na, u no even supose think that one thru

ohh ohhh ohhh ooochhoo!! i know dat! d guy musssssst payy no b only must sef! he haz 2 pay!! lol heyy ocho u knoww!