babyosisi:


Vesta why is this girl good enough for you to sleep with and not good enough to marry

Because many people are good at sex, but lousy as life partners.

Vesta, you stated that you both went into a serious relationship, knowing that the girl's family would object to marriage.
Due to pregnancy it appears that everyone was now begging you to marry her.

So it seems to me that the pregnancy was a blessing in disguise. If so, why not propose to her and have a simple but dignifying ceremony to solemnise your union and make your life less complex.

let there be a heart to heart talk between the two of u,there must be a meeting point for this problem,perhaps u can do the first stage of the formal declaration of intention,then u can work it out that within a specific time u will conclude all matters concerning the marriage so that u have ample time to gather enough funds.but if u do not love her do not complicate more lives by getting married to her.

If the reason you are marrying her is love, then it does not matter whether she is pregnant for you, have a baby out of wedlock, have a baby for another man who jilted her or something. Think about it!

If I was a girl, I would not allow myself to get pregnant until I'm married, because I'll know that my body belongs to me. Even if I'm having sex. Why should you have unprotected sex if you're not married? Use contraceptives!

Pregancy doesn't just happen magically! It's up to the ladies not to allow any sperm to germinate inside them.

No problem- the kids will grow up one day, and then you can explain to them the reasons behind your decision, if or when they ask.

Seun:

If I was a girl, I would not allow myself to get pregnant until I'm married, because I'll know that my body belongs to me. Even if I'm having sex. Why should you have unprotected sex if you're not married? Use contraceptives!

Pregancy doesn't just happen magically! It's up to the ladies not to allow any sperm to germinate inside them.

that is all well and good Seun but in this case there were no contraceptives and the kids are here.
Don't they deserve better than what this guy is offering them?

Speechless

Hi Vista,
The ultimate thing in marriage is love. Since U mentioned earlier that U love her then go ahead & marry her.

if u do not love her, dont marry her. the foundation of marriage shouldnt be based on the fact that u have kids together. i feel u dont trust her.

don't support marrying her cause of pregnancy.

there is more to keeping a marriage than pregnancy

i dont know, just do what is right.[/color]

beware the cheapest thing you get in life is advise, be wise and do the right thing

it will be very bad for the twins not to grow up with their father and mother though, please for the sake of the twins do the right thing.

we dont have to cry about spill milk, what happened btw you and the lady is not what i can talk about, cause am not a virgin so who am i to judge you.

the two of you get the good result of your actions.

we all need to talk about what we wnat and what we dont want,so talk with your wife(i call her your wife because she is the mother of your children)something can still be done about the ugly event, go ahead and marry her.

[/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#006600]MARRY THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN

we all do wrong things most often times,just surmon up enof courage and marry her,whatever the outcome you just have to take it as your cross.i will not be happy with you if you and the lady dont raise up the kids together.

how do you two feel when you are doing it?after every exams we all look forward to the result,and when the result come we just have to take it as the resulf of our effort.

the two of you get what you actually plan to get by having sex,dont let the kinds suffer fot your mistakes.

have you ever consider the joy that comes with babes? they are blessing from GOD, so dont see them as product of your mistakes but as blessing from GOD.

[/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#990000][/color][b][/b]FOR THE SAKE OF THE TWINS MARRY YOUR WIFE.


peace
am out

bukiboy:

FOR THE SAKE OF THE TWINS MARRY YOUR WIFE.

lol! how does someone marry his 'wife'?

_{sorry, couldn't resist}

I think both parents should be flogged by the twins for having unprotected sex when CONDOM is so cheap that some pharmacies give them out FOC.
Do not forget say na the thing weh de sweet Goat na him de kill am.

Marry her If you really want to and if you don't then let her go. Don't marry out of pity. shikina

Now my mouth is sealed



Still me

guy, am really sorry 4 u. the truth is, the deed has been done. you accept the fact that the children are yours so be ready to face the responsibilities of fatherhood. as for the woman, i'd say you sit yourself down and ask yourself if you still love her like you did. you might want to show her that you're not rejecting her cos she got pregnant but there are other ways to do that. if you get married out of pity nd cos of what people will say, you might never be happy again cos marriage is a lifetime agreement nd nobody will bear your pain with u wen u're married so if u love her, marry her without giving time for someone else to take her away(there are over 7,000 men out there waiting to have her) but if u don't, sit her down nd talk to the woman in her, tell her why you cant marry her for the sake of both ur futures. if she doesnt forgive you immediately, one day she'd live to thank you when she finds her happiness elsewhere. DON'T TRAP YOURSELF IN A LIFETIME DILEMNA. IT'S ALL ABOUT CONVICTION.
Good luck
i love you

no u shouldn't cos wat if u do nd u re both unhappy it's d child dat wil suffer find anoder solution beside marriage

YES, u should marry her, she is the mother of ur children and u said in ur story that ur working im sure ur capable of marrying now, why not marry her.

[color=#000099][/color][i][/i][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]

[i][/i]hi there

This is a very interesting situation. what i have to say here is that you should follow your mind ALL the WAY!
This is so because marrying here on that premise of the two lovely kids alone can be expensive/explosive in the long run. No home(marriage) should be built on pity. Since you had mutually agreed that it should just be a strictly copulative relationship i see no reason for you two to now have unprotected scrotal interaction. You were careless too & should be held co-responsible.
What I want to add is whenever you find it ok to tie the knot (soonest) please do marry her otherwise make provision for mother & babies to provide the very best of their needs & even wants too.
Note that any other woman you marry now will not be comfortable with this situation.
All the best in whatever decisions you make
Cheers! !!

Still appreciate the love you all have to care to reply to my posting.

I wish to clear some issues raised so far (not necessarily in self-defense) but for a better understanding of the issues.

She really played a doubtful role at the beginning, but when at last I noticed that the story is true, I resolved not to continue with priesthood. Though I had many options, even assistance to travel abroad for priesthood (which is possible), my conscience could not allow me, especially when I remember the INNOCENT babies. I resolved that even if we would not live together, I have to make myself available for those babies, and take good care of them, hence the engagement ring,

Then, I gave her ring later to reasure her that I do not want to count on the past. But it seemed that she can't be patient enough for me. Though I never lusted for her at the begining (I had the first sex due to her excessive demand - I'm sorry to reveal - and the charged environment), I did try my best to make her feel like a woman, now avoiding sex at all cost.

I believe love is patience, but she is trying to prove me wrong, hence my latest worry. She know I do not, and have never chased women arround. And the circumstances of the beginning of our relationship is best known to her.

Now, I am planning to marry her if she is TRUELY for me, or I would remain SINGLE, but a nice FATHER to my babies. Afterall, I deserve more strict measures for losing my self control which I have kept SINCE BIRTH.

I may seem to be revealing too much but it is just as a result of the kind of confidence you have given me by your honest replies. Besides, they are for my, and our good. I believe too that at least one person could learn from my experiences so far.

Thank you all, and always remember to pray for us still. I'll keep you informed.

See you.

VESTA:

Now, I am planning to marry her if she is TRUELY for me, or I would remain SINGLE, but a nice FATHER to my babies. Afterall, I deserve more strict measures for losing my self control which I have kept SINCE BIRTH.

I may seem to be revealing too much but it is just as a result of the kind of confidence you have given me by your honest replies. Besides, they are for my, and our good. I believe too that at least one person could learn from my experiences so far.

Thank you all, and always remember to pray for us still. I'll keep you informed.

See you.

you have been planning for a while my dear,take her to the registry and make the marriage legal and the planning phase will be over.
Didn't you say the twins are now talking?
You have no planning time,action speaks louder than words.

Borrow money if you have none,call your people together and carry the necessary wine to her people if that is her custom.
You should have done it yesterday.

do all you have to do within your capability. dont borrow to wed a woman . my prayer for you is that God directs you in whichever path you choose to follow amen.

all the best

that would be the right thing to do since YOU got her pregnant, but you should always be there for her and YOUR young one.

see goat - u give person belle finish, u come dey ask question - what if na u them give belle like that - mee mee mee.

LMAO,

lol, i wan die with laughter, oh man, hehehehe, funny.

Ferlie:

see goat - u give person belle finish, u come dey ask question - what if na u them give belle like that - mee mee mee.

VESTA:

I believe love is patience, but she is trying to prove me wrong, hence my latest worry. She know I do not, and have never chased women arround. And the circumstances of the beginning of our relationship is best known to her.

Now, I am planning to marry her if she is TRUELY for me, or I would remain SINGLE, but a nice FATHER to my babies. Afterall, I deserve more strict measures for losing my self control which I have kept SINCE BIRTH.

You believe love is patient, wait o, how patient do you want her to continue to be? She has already been patient for over twelve months!! Do you want her to continue being 'patient' until the twins start walking? Na wah o! Patience is a quality that can run out o,

and our babies are now sixteen (16) months old. What do you think is the cause of her latest action? Where have I gone wrong? What do you expect me to do? Could it be she met someone with a 'better' promise during last Christmass period?

laudate:

You believe love is patient, wait o, how patient do you want her to continue to be? She has already been patient for over twelve months!! Do you want her to continue being 'patient' until the twins start walking? Na wah o! Patience is a quality that can run out o,

They are now running not walking,they now call someone mama but who do they call papa?
A visiting papa does not count here.
If he has to borrow money to get to the registry and carry wine,let him do so.
It is more expensive to raise kids than buy a few crates of mineral and bottles of schnapps and ask for this girls hand the proper way.

If I were her,you would neither see me again nor Taiwo and Kehinde.

babyosisi:


If I were her,you would neither see me again nor Taiwo and Kehinde.

LMAO

but they are not yoruba people now

this is just too funny

hey, im new here, anyways, ive registered just to thank you guys, ive read your reponses about vesta's dilemma, and it has connections with me with regards of our debate on friday, well, just a simple debate, not the "oh-my-debate type", our topic is about early marriage due to early pregnancy, though the two(vesta & his girl, of course) is in the right age into getting married, your responses still helped me a lot, it still has connections, niweiz,
to vesta, just follow your hypothalamus which is located in your mind, remember, it is the hypothalamus that is responsible for our emotions, meaning, just do the thinking, what you think is right is the true answer for this, just decide for urself, no one can reprimand you and no one should, so that, if regrets come, u need not to blame others, just learn from your mistakes, and do the ryt thng the next tym around, signing off,

Hypothalmus in the mind??


Me thinks it's in the brain. Gotta go check my Bio text again.

Hope Vesta has done weighing thing out. Wishing him the best.

Hypothalmus in the mind??


Me thinks it's in the brain. Gotta go check my Bio text again

lol
brain / mind same diffrnce

Yes Yes ooooo YES