This is one of the rare occasions where I'll take the side of a woman because most women are drama queens. I'm not mad that your husband got distracted but I'm mad that he said it openly to a woman he married legally that he owes her no faithfulness.
If you guys had discussed polygamy before marriage then i can pardon him. Yes, some men cheat but most feel remorseful or pretend to be when caught. Whatever a man does, he should never purposely disrespect his wife. That's my principle.

PS. For those already beginning to talk of the woman leaving, do you think this is a joke? This isn't a boyfriend and girlfriend issue. This section should be restricted to married people only.

tomi87014:
Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

I find it hard to believe there were absolutely no signs that your husband thought this way before you got married. I also feel like you're telling this story in such a way that it provokes sympathy for you. It's either you're exaggerating things or you've been ignoring red flags.

In any case, assuming all that you have said is accurate, you either learn to live with unfaithfulness or get out of the marriage.

Marital issues everywhere...it's getting scary.
OP useful advices have been offered, I suggest you go soft first...as you're in a delicate state. I wish you the best...

Lalasticlala, what do you have to say?
Are all men cheats?

vizkiz:


Thought you were some feminist.

Please I don't understand what if she was 1 (which I don't know). What does it has to do with what she stated

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Speak for yourself alone!...I'm 100% faithful to my wife and never double date when I was single. My principle about faithfulness in relationship is that I will never do it but if you dare give me the slightest reason to doubt you, you'd be discarded in a giffy...I don't give a second chance.

With the condition you are in,I thought the joy of his incoming masculine boy would keep him centered?

How can he sacrifice this just to lay with some strange woman

To understand your husband is to go back in time and notice things that influenced him during his formative years. what kind of upbringing did he experience as a child,teenager,adult?

What are his philosophies,values creed etc?what kinda of man is he striving to become?what movies,songs move him?

This is called the getting to know part which ought to have been secretly investigated and openly discussed during the dating period.

We can all assume you failed to do a proper job.Dont worry your time starts now.

All the very best.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Guy pls speak for urself abeg.

This is pathetic. I suspect Babalawo things at work. what happened to those marriage vows? #faithfulness# Op call his family members sharp sharp let them speak senses to him. Don't forget to give your husband & the babe sleepiness night through prayers

Lashweek, A woman lament about how her husband gives more attention to pressin pressin his phone Rather than givin his wife d attention.......I suspected cheat

And just 3days ago, Anoda married man waz caught by her wife. The color of his shirt expose his Ass while his leg waz relaxed on d lady

Ystdae, a married Man of 5 kids fought his Side chick and Even killed her to early grave

And now the Original Poster is complainin about his hubby chattin up som chicks online..

What som married men are doin on phone is Incredible......I no holy pass sha

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Can't a man have female friends again in peace?

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

On an honest note he does not have any respect for you as his wife and his not worth your time or tears
He will only bring you pain and lots of anguish the sad part is he has started to show his true colors after marriage
# beentheredonethat

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

The moment you decided to look through his phone, you knew what you would find.......

Leave his phone alone and concentrate on your undelivered baby and Family....

There are no justified reasons he should cheat on you, so dont feel guilty in any way. Why don't you try to have an adult discussion with him and ask him why?ensure you do away with any attitude when asking him, having an attitude will contaminate your intentions. Men are full of ego and will be defensive.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

nice one Oga, your head dey there.. and lemme add to it; stop checking his fone. Save yourself from troubles. Really, he's got no excuse for cheating on u, but stay off his fone and give yourself peace of mind. Stop looking for what's not lost.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Just plead with him to use condom, if he feels he has to........

Put in the hands of God.

Hope you are feeling better ..You don't fight bad with bad.. you kill him with goodness. everyone has fawls but for the fact that you confronted him made matter worst. He might not even be having anything with that lady. I think you overreacted and that is why he said he doesn't owe you an apology. I read an article one a time ago on marriages and it was kinda true. Most men who are caring and sweet at home ALL THE TIME TEND TO CHEAT. So if you know you man is.. just advice him to use Condom and don't change towards him. if he is about to do it. he will think of all the good time and for the fact that you no send him. he will be calm and respect you but note. Respect is reciprocal and no marriage is 100% perfect. There are ups and down and that is life. So concentrate on yourself, your work, your unborn baby, your home and then your husband and not what he does outside. you shouldn't be concerned if you want a long lasting relationship and stop snooping on your hubby. it does no good. he is going to do what he is going to do even if you know. just focus on yourself. 'HOPE FOR THE BEST BUT EXPECT THE WORST' . Use your head not your heart.

tomi87014:
Thanks for your swift response, to be sincere with you we still have normal sex life and everything appeared normal until i found out.

So everything is sex in marriage abi?

Jahblessme:
As usual nairaland resident bingos have started crawling out of their holes to tell you this is normal behaviour and ask you to pray. They are the sort of men your husband is mingling with encouraging him to be a dog like them because they have no self control & believe every man is born with no moral compass.

My dear OP,when he told you he doesn't owe you faithfulness what did you do?were you there looking at him like an olodo or did you defend your union and your beliefs there and then?I will give you small space for shock to settle in but after then what next?

Did you woman up and speak clearly ,sharply and concisely about your expectations to him?

Did you ask him if he doesn't owe you faithfulness are you also free to assume that you do not owe fidelity to him as well?

Did you marry an ancestor that you are a slave to?Your age gap looks like its from 8-10 years-did he pay for your schooling?Do you have a job and contribute to your home?Even if you do not work ,you care for your home and do housework,is that appreciated? I'm asking these questions cos that is what usually gives some people guts to misbehave.When you are helpless and especially have no source of income and they know it.Regardless,no one deserved to be hurt in this manner.

It is a free world and people are free to voice their opinion o but for a man to come out less than two years after marriage to boldly say he doesn't owe you faithfulness,he must feel you are waaay beneath him to be respected.

When you signed the dotted lines you did not sign up to be cheated on,you did not sign up to be exposed to STDs,please relay that to him without apologies.

I find it hard to believe that this man hasn't always been this way.No normal loving partner would be this bold.There are plenty issues lurking,there must be heavy disrespect in other aspects of your marriage ,its just that this one has pained you more than the others.

As you can read i'm not into begging or pampering when you are not at fault ,you should be the one who is begged and pampered after your discovery. If you begin to wail and beg and gnash your teeth,you will continue like this for the rest of your marriage-this is what the bingos will ask you to do to 'save your marriage',thereby putting you at a huge disadvantage and at the mercy of a human being like you(born of a woman just like you).Please learn to stand up for yourself-calm measured discussion ,no huffing and puffing,no begging.Just clear statement of facts.
After this discussion you can now decide your next steps.

Good Luck.

LMAO @embolden.
What do you expect from kids who have twisted idea of what marriage is.

seriously, checking that phone is a no no to me. Am a woman but don't intend to die of heart attack caused by any man who will marry off any other lady as soon as u die.
Sister, look good and go down on your knees. it's the man's world..

Just be patience no need to fight him

Jahblessme:
As usual nairaland resident bingos have started crawling out of their holes to tell you this is normal behaviour and ask you to pray.They are the sort of men your husband is mingling with encouraging him to be a dog like them because they have no self control & believe every man is born with no moral compass.

My dear OP,when he told you he doesn't owe you faithfulness what did you do?were you there looking at him like an olodo or did you defend your union and your beliefs there and then?I will give you small space for shock to settle in but after then what next?

Did you woman up and speak clearly ,sharply and concisely about your expectations to him?

Did you ask him if he doesn't owe you faithfulness are you also free to assume that you do not owe fidelity to him as well?

Did you marry an ancestor that you are a slave to?Your age gap looks like its from 8-10 years-did he pay for your schooling?Do you have a job and contribute to your home?Even if you do not work ,you care for your home and do housework,is that appreciated? I'm asking these questions cos that is what usually gives some people guts to misbehave.When you are helpless and especially have no source of income and they know it.Regardless,no one deserved to be hurt in this manner.

It is a free world and people are free to voice their opinion o but for a man to come out less than two years after marriage to boldly say he doesn't owe you faithfulness,he must feel you are waaay beneath him to be respected.

When you signed the dotted lines you did not sign up to be cheated on,you did not sign up to be exposed to STDs,please relay that to him without apologies.

I find it hard to believe that this man hasn't always been this way.No normal loving partner would be this bold.There are plenty issues lurking,there must be heavy disrespect in other aspects of your marriage ,its just that this one has pained you more than the others.

As you can read i'm not into begging or pampering when you are not at fault ,you should be the one who is begged and pampered after your discovery. If you begin to wail and beg and gnash your teeth,you will continue like this for the rest of your marriage-this is what the bingos will ask you to do to 'save your marriage',thereby putting you at a huge disadvantage and at the mercy of a human being like you(born of a woman just like you).Please learn to stand up for yourself-calm measured discussion ,no huffing and puffing,no begging.Just clear statement of facts.
After this discussion you can now decide your next steps.

Good Luck.

[color=#770077][/color]
I love your comment I was just smh at pray, change your way etc all subtly blaming the poor victim.

Mrs,
This is very unfortunate. I'm a man and let me speak for my self but it happen to most young marriages of a year or two. The man has not completely left his bachelor life even married, he still fancy other ladies probably he was double dating when he you guys are in courtship. One thing men don't like is monitoring them, no man likes it but at one point or the other every man comes to his senses and accept his extra marital activities has to stop. Please do what you normally do when you first met and pray he will come around. Just know this it takes the grace of God to arrest a cheating partner.
God will step into your marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.[/quote]

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

I'm so so sorry...please wipe your tears and be strong...be strong for your baby...hubby will come around very soon...I have been married for 5 years...he will come back to you with so much love...pls be strong for your baby

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Excuses... lame excuses, if you ain't ready to let go of your bachelor's life then don't into marriage, it's not for kids, Even with three sexy looking wives at home, a man that wants to cheat will still cheat.



@op, Put yourself together and concentrate on your unborn baby, stop stressing yourself about it and act like nothing is happening, live your life and love yourself, dress nicely and soon enough he should come back to his senses. Above all, if you're a Christian, get on your knees and talk to your father in heaven..... don't stress yourself too much.