I agree with you ,that's if his man enough to call off the marriage .meanwhile @ PO my only advice is that since your Wifė hate your family ,I will only suggest you hate a her family in return .if she show your family love ,show her family love

coolcatty:
Smh

This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.

10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.

Who's betting with me on this?

You have chosen wrongly.
I doubt you can ever be truly happy.
My advice is that since you're already married, then give as good as you get. Set boundaries now, and let her know you don't want to see her family members around your home too. Don't tolerate any member of her family.
What is good for the goose is also good for the gander.
Before you spend a dime on any member of her family, make sure you've spent 10x that on yours.

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

Have you asked your wife privately about why she is feeling that way towards your family

That's a good starting point, then from her response then you can atleast hear from her.

I had a similar experience with my wife, she came to our house greeted my mom.. She said my mom didn't respond. My mom in return was upset that the lady i was marrying didn't greet her. Wahala

There was a bit cold reception between two of them for a while.. My wife thought my mom don't like her, my mom thought she was disrespectful. Then i know my mom don't have any issue with her and she in turn doesn't have any issues.. The only problem was the greeting stuff.

Now, i can't turn my back on my mother neither can i turn my back on my wife. So i had my wife buy a hollandaise and gave her telling her she was sorry, when they first met she was too overwhelmed that she contained her exciting too much, she thought she greeted her but the greetings didn't come out loud enough. She is a shy girl bla bla. My mom accepted the wrapper and that was the end of it.

The reason why i approached the situation like that was one, i don't know who was right and wrong.. I was there oo but i was talking with my dad. Asking my mom to accept that she was greeted and talk to my wife.. She wouldn't be too happy.. Infact that would be world war 3. So my wife had to bear the burden of accepting that she was at fault but not in a rude way so.. We are now a jolly happy family.

The reason why i told you mine story is to give you idea .

But first thing first.. Talk to your wife and find out her reason for feeling that way towards your family.

Good luck my brother.

You've gone far into your marriage and it wouldn't be best advicing you backout now.

I will rather advice you tell her bluntly that she can't be a barrier against the love you share with your family.
If she continues this attitude, learn to help your family without caring much about her wishes but be rational or better still help them behind her back/notice.
She may come up with worse tactis but be sure nothing separates you from your family who built and made you lovable by her.

I have such person and I must confirm they are not easy to handle.

Best Wishes

Oyindidi:
Was kidding

LOL OK

I hope your not also foolish to ask this kind of question or are you under influence of charm or alchol

heart to heart talk people! they have come again

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

Guy if I know you personally, I'd slap no beat some sense into you. Like WTF? I can't imagine a woman I want to marry ostracising me from my family. It's just not done, after my father's death I know what I passed through with my mum and sis, now one nicompo would want to separate me from the people that stood by me though thick and thin? HABA!!! Guy just get your priorities right. I told my fiancee that she should please love my mum way more than she loves me because that bond is inseparable. Get it right now or remain her slave till death do you part.






Kai!!! This guy just dey make me vex.

Oyindidi:
we all make mistake

Opakan2:
You're probably a Yoruba guy that married an igbo lady.

Igbos teach their kids to hate other tribes especially Yorubas for no reason. But they expect absolute love in return.
Better carry your cross like that. Very soon, the only family your kids will know will be hers.

Sorry for you

You are a big fool!!

nautybride:

Damn! People are so fast to say stop the wedding. Have you heard her own side of the story?
@amliftedhigher; your wife doesnt hate your family! You are the only male and they dote on you too much for her liking! Probably they convince you easily and have better influence on you than your wife! She dislikes that you are spineless in some issues and are easily tossed around because you are their boy.
Before you call her to order about this issue, sit and think well about little ways you are being controlled. Adjust! Probably your wife even controls you easily and she sees other controllers (your sisters) as threats!
Maybe, she is someone that prefers to stay on her lane without interference! She is probably forseeing third party influence in the nearest future and that is her own way of handling it.

I subscribe to this POV! Good thinking.
@amliftedhigher: Take this advice before you follow yeye comments and do something stupid...

Opakan2:
You're probably a Yoruba guy that married an igbo lady.

Igbos teach their kids to hate other tribes especially Yorubas for no reason. But they expect absolute love in return.
Better carry your cross like that. Very soon, the only family your kids will know will be hers.

Sorry for you

The level of stupidity, ignorance, arrogance, foolishness and mumuism you just displayed shows that education was wasted on you.

I have very good and enlightened yoruba friends, I even mentored one that is doing very well for himself in Houston, Texas. Fools like you are a disgrace to your tribe.

MrBrownJay1:


are you saying that the gal you decided to marry only met your family ONE SINGLE time before the trad wedding? why, how, what was wrong?!

your family never came over for dinner, and vice versa?!

She Neva really wanted to meet them.

I think she is a lil spoilt brat from a well to do fam.

Just watch how his family Wud be excluded from d high table @ d reception ground

coolcatty:
Smh
This marriage is so so heading to the rocks.... See massive red flag.
10k bet that this marriage won't get to 1year mark.
Who's betting with me on this?

ayam.

CzarChris:
The level of stupidity, ignorance, arrogance, foolishness and mumuism you just displayed shows that education was wasted on you.

I have very good and enlightened yoruba friends, I even mentored one that is doing very well for himself in Houston, Texas. Fools like you are a disgrace to your tribe.

they go tribal on every thread. That person must be very stupid

U just said it all.She is d jealous type.She sees ur sisters as rivals to now worsen it ,they make suggestions n decisions for you sometomes.And i guess from d look of things u might be better financially than them.She just doesnt want them in her space.Stop saying she hates them for no reason of course thr is a reason.I would advice u both see a marriage counsellor,With that she can give her reasons which can also be corrected.It might be different if ur sisters were guys.settle this before ur white wedding.

amliftedhigher:
A little of what transpired between us two days ago. In one of the people we want to use for our wedding, the person she recommended charge a huge amount of money which I can not pay, then I contacted my sisters to look for other person's we can use lo and behold they found people with a big difference in price variations so I decide to settle with the ones my sister recommended hence they will render same quality of services. Immediately I told her the latest, she started grumbling and saying that my sisters are controlling me that they can't come to her own family and decides what happens, I was shocked to hear that again after I caution her some months back for using this same language. My brethren 400k and 280k are they same thing? This is just a tip of her yelling about my sisters. My sisters don't know about this oh now, as am writing now my elder sister called me now and was telling me to make sure that I give My wife money to select a good wedding gown . They even told me last time that I should make sure I buy car for her before she born her first child to lessen the stress of her carrying a child in Keke or bike or Taxi. What do we call this?

Oyindidi:
they go tribal on every thread. That person must be very stupid

Nne, maka Chukwu ihe afugbola mụ. It truly pains me when I see these kids who haven't even left their mother's house talking rubbish online under the security of the faceless nature of nairaland/Internet.

You only described your own family. You did not say anything about your family inlaws. Give a description of them and your relationship with them. Are they rich? PleaseI need you respond to this before I can give any advice.

It is hard and bitter but the truth is if you want marry this lady you must tame her now how? Let her know that your parent brought you up before she marry you dislike her parent ,whatever she is doing and bringing her relatives , put it off don't allow her mother or siblings in they will ask why ,you will then explain ,this is the behaviour of some so called born again wives

That's why she's new wife...wait till she be old wife or second wife...

fk001:
She is being selfish, Family over everything.




you even have the thought of pursuing your family because of a damn lady? seriously?


Your family have been there for you since from birth and they will still be, What makes you think that the lady loves you more than them.



start thinking with your brain not your d!ck. #no offence

Don't mind the mumu. He needs to go and watch the movie called "Ted"

Oyindidi:
we all make mistake

Excuse me ma'am, what mistake are you talking about?

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

1) Put that wedding on pause mood for now and get to the root of this matter
2) Sit her down properly and ask her what her problem is, if she still refuses to change.
3) Inform her of the consequences and that you can't start a life with someone who doesn't appreciate the people who made you who you are today.

4) Call of the wedding and then start searching all over again, nothing is worse than marrying a bitter/bad wife. They no dey tell deaf man say war done start.

Coldfeets:


Excuse me ma'am, what mistake are you talking about?

the bolded

Walk away, slowly, then run when she is not looking...

siegfried99:


Na husband win or draw

You sure say wife away win or draw no go cause upset.

She met with your family once before your traditional marriage? Haba bros.
She should thank her stars that she's even loved by your family.
I just hope she won't tempt you into having issues with your family members.
You better sit her down and talk to her.
I've seen something similar play out with someone close and it's not funny. Some just pretend then after marriage, the beast is unleashed.

Any woman who do not love or accept ur family don't deserve u.

She should know dat ur family married her not u.

Bro, my humble opinion on this is this, I know this lady u are about getting married to is ur partner and if u eventually marry her, she will become part of ur life...but, I don't see u living a happy life with this kinda lady that despises ur family for nothing. I don't think if this ur siblings that she's hating for no reason hadn't beautify ur life she would have agreed to be with u in the first place. U can't shut ur siblings that u have lived with all ur life and who have contributed immensely over what u have become today that she saw and loved(that I if she loves u) over a girl that has just spent few yrs in ur life. If she can't tell u why she's upset with ur family now, she will set ur house on fire over ur family when she's fully in...she's not a very good choice for u.

they ve already give you all the reply you want

fk001:
She is being selfish, Family over everything.




you even have the thought of pursuing your family because of a damn lady? seriously?


Your family have been there for you since from birth and they will still be, What makes you think that the lady loves you more than them.



start thinking with your brain not your d!ck. #no offence

Is this person even thinking at all?

It's this type of stories that one read on nairaland that forces one to believe that they are made up.

Hate my mom without reason?!!! .....(even with reason sef) and I still dey think about marriage?!!! Habi, I dey craze (in mallam Nuhu's voice)