Well, you have definitely come to the right place. Excuse me, though, while I run out to buy the "Immaculate Collection." To begin with you need to establish the right atmosphere, which includes choosing the perfect song to dance to. Pick one you know the words and beat to, an old favorite of yours, like our reader indicated. By choosing a song you can lip sync to and are very familiar with, it helps you feel like you are in control. If you've never danced in an exotic way before, every little bit will help you gain confidence as you perform your moves.

Also, though, put serious thought into what you will wear and how to light the room. That doesn't mean you have to create a fire hazard with 100 candles in the room, but adjust the lighting to how you feel comfortable. I know some readers are shy or self-conscious about their bodies, so an alter- native to full-blast lights is a couple candles here or there.

Look at this as an opportunity to put your shyness aside, allow your confidence to grow, and step outside your comfort zone. Even if you feel silly, as our reader suggested, know that your honey will be so impressed and pleased that he/she won't even notice if you lip sync the wrong words or stumble a little in your heels. They will be so in awe that you are attempting this JUST TO PLEASE THEM that they will be gratious (read: you should receive MouthAction).

In general, there are a couple key aspects. You know I talk about eye contact quite a bit, and that is essential here. I know some of you will be nervous, but again, making eye contact will help you feel more in control. Being excited and happy in the moment will translate into the look in your eyes, and just remain focused on your beloved. Trust me, your gaze will be hypnotic. Body language is also key. I'm not talking about specific movements, here, but in general. Try to relaxed so your BODY LANGUAGE is relaxed. Have a glass of wine (or two) beforehand if you need to.

As far as the moves go, though, you might not like this answer. You really need to do what feels right in the moment. Go with the music and how your honey is responding. Some cliche things work really well, so keep the following in mind: slowly rub your hands over your body, especially the breasts and genitals. If you feel comfortable, don't hesitate to finger yourself or even lick your fingers afterward. I know, it's cliche, but it works. Um, and I've had more than one reader say they love it if their partner can actually lick her own nipples. But again, it's all about your comfort level.

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I can't go into details about absolutely everything, so to help you with specific moves, I found a great DVD/tape called "The Art of Exotic Dancing." It features four types of hip rolls, floorwork, and shows an actual striptease to incorporate all the basic principles. Plus it has a special demo dance feature, behind the scenes, and more. If you're still nervous, watching the demos might be a good place to start. Click the link for more info:

The Art Of Exotic Dancing

Most of all, though, have fun with this! So, what song are you going to choose? Be creative and imaginative as possible. If it's his birthday, do the Marilyn Monroe thing and lip sync to "Happy Birthday Mr. President." Pick your fave old song together, whatever helps you feel comfortable in the moment. What are YOUR tips for exotic dancing and how did you overcome the nerves of trying the first time? Inquiring minds want to know! As always, I remain...

Devotedly yours,

Carmen Sutra