Dear Agatha,

Thanks for the wonderful work you have been doing in the lives of your fellow Nigerians in answering and advising them rightly on different issues. May God Almighty preserve, guide and empower you more for us and your family.

Agatha, please I have been nursing this problem for some time now and do not know what to do or how to go about it, hence my sharing it with you.

I got married under the native laws and customs two years ago. Unfortunately she hasn’t been able to take in since then. Each time she is about to take in, she develops severe abdominal pains and before we know it, she starts bleeding. It has become frequent with her.

Since we didn’t know what was causing it all, we recently went for a test, which revealed she has urinary tract infection and high typhoid. But the problem now is that the result also revealed that my genotype and hers are same. We are both AS, though my blood group is (O+) and hers (B).

According to our doctor, it is not medically advised we get married. I didn’t tell her what the doctor said, because I really don’t know how to present the matter to her without causing her emotional problems. To be double sure that the results were correct, I persuaded her that we go for another series of tests to make sure all was well with both of us. The results confirmed what the first tests said.

It has been two years of our staying under one roof and we both love each other dearly. But how do I tell her what the doctor said? Will she not think I want to dump her for another woman since she is unable to get pregnant? I have been keeping it a secret from her. I told my Dad and he said I should give her the result to read or tell her straight away, but I felt that is not right. She might collapse and anything can happen. Please help me out.

Blessed Mike

There's nothing you can do, you should have known that before you both stepped down the aisle.

he is being wicked to both himself and his wife by keeping the results a secret.
i hate it when doctors are not specific with their diagnosis. exactly what does he mean by "its not medically adivsed"
they should get a second opinion from a reliable OB/GYN

PRAYER IS THE KEY, be prayerful cuz there is nuthing our GOD cannot do
B/w, what does the doctor says is the cause of the infection?

@poster
unless you valued children over the love you have for your "future" spouse then i wonder where the problem is.
tell you wife and find a solution TOGETHER!

also i would say that this doctor advising you NOT to get married should be struck off because i still dont see where medicine should branch into social issues.
what he should have told you is that you shouldnt have children or that you may need a bone marrow transplant for your kids due to your sickle cell status.
i guess, this useless doctor would have said the same thing if your wife turned out sterile?!

remember, there are millions of children living in orphanage all around 9ja waiting to be adopted. better to be with someone you truly love and adopt a child than being with some nobody just to "look right" in having your own child.
to each their own.

I agree get a second opinion with a specialist, that deals with women,fertility,etc, what the hell does urinary tract infection & typhoid have to do with anything? Those are treatable, genotypes what? Then you must not sincerely love her if you will listen to these "diagnosis" and let it persuade you.

wow!

So why get married?

Well since it's a mistake that both of you made by getting married, when you're not compatible, you are wrong for not telling her it's not right, it's her right to know, I suggest you tell her !!!

Poster jwo o