Why do some Naija girls like using sex as a bargaining chip?

I was engaging in a discourse with some female colleagues, and one of them wanted to pull out of her relationship on the basis of her discovery that her boyfriend had a child out of wedlock, without letting her know, till she found out from a third party.

Meanwhile, this guy sponsored her throughout her study in the University, and has been sending money to her on a regular basis - almost every week - while she's in another State working.

So, apparently, she's of the opinion that she's going to break up with the guy over a lunch or dinner and it's going to be straight to his face.

I advised her to be careful, as the guy could become aggressive on the basis that he sponsored her education, and she had made it known to him that she was going to marry him.

Her reply left me utterly shellshocked.

She was like, she was offering the guy sex throughout the duration of the relationship, so the guy has no right to go belligerent. The other girls also backed her up, justifying her statement. They urged her to go meet the guy and break up with him.

My question is, when did sex become commercialized in a relationship? I thought sex in a relationship should be of mutual benefit?

I thought only prostitutes working in a brothel commercialize sex?

Finally, why do some Nigerian girls make it sound like only men benefit from sex in a relationship?

Is there anything else they can offer aside sex? bunch of brainless ppl

Wen una dey behave like say woman na big deal

No girl alive can use sex to form for me

♤Yeah

♤ some girls

They know you love sex so the use what they have to get what they want...

9jayes:
Is there anything else they can offer aside sex? bunch of brainless ppl

I think that mentality is common among girls in this clime.

Give a guy plenty sex, and he will give you plenty money.

Shaking my head.

Blizzy9ja:
They know you love sex so the use what they have to get what they want...

You?

Who's you?

Naija girls hate sex?

Simply, cos its d only chip most of em hv.

Cos guys use money too as bargaining chip. Sex equals money. Ns only mumu dey train gal for school

The ladies that have the sex for free, you guys call those ones cheap.

The ladies that have the sex in exchange for money or other favours, you call them olosho.

The ladies that refuse to have sex, we have countless advices given to these ones. Imploring them to stay away from relationships.

Majority of men won't stay in a relationship without sex, no matter what else the girl offers you, not like lots of guys offer much either. Sex is like a collateral to many men. When the girl breaks up and friends ask "you fuk am?"...you can say "Yes, I fuk am".

When guys decide among themselves why they think sex in a relationship is a a bragging right, a loss to the female and something to use deride her. Then we can know why such females think it's a bargaining tool. You lots share the same orientation on sex in a relationship, both male and female, you fit yourselves, you deserve each other! It's cause and effect.

pocohantas:
The ladies that have the sex for free, you guys call those ones cheap.

The ladies that have the sex in exchange for money or other favours, you call them olosho.

The ladies that refuse to have sex, we have countless advices given to these ones. Imploring them to stay away from relationships.

Majority of you guys won't stay in a relationship without sex, no matter what else the girl offers you, not like lots of you guys offer much either. Sex is like a collateral to lots of you. When the girl breaks up and the your friends ask "you Bleep am?"...you can say "Yes, I Bleep am".

When you guys decide among yourselves why you think sex in a relationships is a loss to the female, something to use and deride the woman. Then we can know why such females think it's a bargaining tool. You lots share the same orientation on sex in a relationship, both male and female, you fit yourselves.

Poco miiiiiiiii

pocohantas:
The ladies that have the sex for free, you guys call those ones cheap.

The ladies that have the sex in exchange for money or other favours, you call them olosho.

The ladies that refuse to have sex, we have countless advices given to these ones. Imploring them to stay away from relationships.

Majority of men won't stay in a relationship without sex, no matter what else the girl offers you, not like lots of you guys offer much either. Sex is like a collateral to many men. When the girl breaks up and friends ask "you fuk am?"...you can say "Yes, I fuk am".

When you guys decide among yourselves why you think sex in a relationships is a loss to the female, something to use and deride the woman. Then we can know why such females think it's a bargaining tool. You lots share the same orientation on sex in a relationship, both male and female, you fit yourselves, you deserve each other!

Talking like an extraterrestrial. This girl sef

yeyerolling:
Cos guys use money too as bargaining chip. Sex equals money. Ns only mumu dey train gal for school

You are quite right with your last line.

Who trains a girlfriend in school?

If you want to train any lady at all, let her be your wife.

pocohantas:
The ladies that have the sex for free, you guys call those ones cheap.

The ladies that have the sex in exchange for money or other favours, you call them olosho.

The ladies that refuse to have sex, we have countless advices given to these ones. Imploring them to stay away from relationships.

Majority of men won't stay in a relationship without sex, no matter what else the girl offers you, not like lots of you guys offer much either. Sex is like a collateral to many men. When the girl breaks up and friends ask "you fuk am?"...you can say "Yes, I fuk am".

When you guys decide among yourselves why you think sex in a relationship is a loss to the female, something to use and deride the woman. Then we can know why such females think it's a bargaining tool. You lots share the same orientation on sex in a relationship, both male and female, you fit yourselves, you deserve each other!

You lots?

Who are the you lots?

You are neuter or transgendered? You are not a female specie?

Only a hoe will go into a relationship with the mindset of fucckking her and giving her money, and start changing guys like bras and pants on the basis that after all, she offered the guy sex, hence he has no right to be furious.

That's all shades of Oloshoism.

I think it all stems from the societal view point of "sexual orientation".Some men see sex as an "achievement and as a smart guy".But,due to the societal expectation of the lady to be at the receiving end of been called as "cheap,slut,olosho"makes them to be "reserved or pretentious".As such,they capitalize on sex to get what they desire from men,even thou,its a mutual benefit for both.

d worst thing that cud happen to a girl is DT all she has to offer is sex

ibkayee:

Poco miiiiiiiii

Don't mind them, always complaining.
They want sex in relationships, they want virgins in marriage...they want this and that....only them!

walepackage:
I think it all stems from the societal view point of "sexual orientation".Some men see sex as an "achievement and as a smart guy".But,due to the societal expectation of the lady to be at the receiving end of been called as "cheap,slut,olosho"makes them to be "reserved or pretentious".As such,they capitalize on sex to get what they desire from men,even thou,its a mutual benefit for both.

Yes. It should be of mutual benefit to both.

If you want to enjoy sex, enjoy it. It's very wrong to use it as a bargaining chip.

If you want to break up with your partner, break up on the basis of a thorough conviction that you are done with him, not on the basis of offering sex.

pocohantas:
The ladies that have the sex for free, you guys call those ones cheap.

The ladies that have the sex in exchange for money or other favours, you call them olosho.

The ladies that refuse to have sex, we have countless advices given to these ones. Imploring them to stay away from relationships.

Majority of men won't stay in a relationship without sex, no matter what else the girl offers you, not like lots of you guys offer much either. Sex is like a collateral to many men. When the girl breaks up and friends ask "you fuk am?"...you can say "Yes, I fuk am".

When you guys decide among yourselves why you think sex in a relationship is a loss to the female, something to use and deride the woman, a bragging right. Then we can know why such females think it's a bargaining tool. You lots share the same orientation on sex in a relationship, both male and female, you fit yourselves, you deserve each other!

pocohantas:
LOL.
Nigerian couples will go into marriage with very faulty foundation.
Disobey every known commandment, while focusing on physical attributes...then enter into marriage and be looking for submission.

Sorry, it doesn't work like that.

They want godly men...they don't know who he truly is.
They want wife materials...they are more obsessed with fuk materials. Confused generation...

This is what you typed a few days ago, why this? . Pay attention, you typed the emboldened with your very own hands....

Blackfyre:




This is what you should have typed up there not that misguided talk. Pay attention, you typed the emboldened with your very own hands....

You are the one that will tell me what to type on a topic? Or you don't know you have been ignored for a reason, respect yourself...

pocohantas:


You are the one that will tell me what to type on a topic? Or you don't know you have been ignored for a reason, respect yourself...

Lmaooo!

Laugh want kill me for here ooo, jesu!

Ok, let me edit, I don forget say them sabi shift goal post wella.

Blackfyre:


Lmaooo!

Laugh want kill me for here ooo, jesu!

Ok, let me edit, I don forget say them sabi shift goal post wella.

What is the correlation between the post you dug and the question the OP raised? No, don't edit...continue digging old post, na your work.

The post you dug was on submission in marriage.
This is on sex as a bargaining tool in a relationship.

And you are telling me the post you dug is what I should have typed?
You okay?

pocohantas:


Don't mind them, always complaining.
They want sex in relationships, they want virgins in marriage...they want this and that....only them!

?

majekdom2:
?

Are you among the virgin hunters?

The bias in society is such that when a woman has sex, she's viewed as 'less than'; while when a man has sex, he's patted on the back. If sex were a currency, it's women who would be spending anytime they had sex? Spending their dignity in the eyes of society. Because in the end, they're the ones left morally depleted. So holding back, and giving sparingly even when in love, is just the deserved instinct.

So, even though both parties enjoy sex (maybe equally), the fallout is uneven. Once we overcome this crazy bias, and a woman isn't seen to be "shamed" or "defiled" whenever she has sex; and when people stop referring to busy vaginas as tired pool-sized pussies; then she can participate freely without being persuaded by any other incentives except for the enjoyment of the act itself.

NightHound:
The bias in society is such that when a woman has sex, she's viewed as 'less than'; while when a man has sex, he's patted on the back. If sex were a currency, it's women who would be spending anytime they had sex? Spending their dignity in the eyes of society. Because in the end, they're the ones left morally depleted. So holding back, and giving sparingly even when in love, is just the deserved instinct.

So, even though both parties enjoy sex (maybe equally), the fallout is uneven. Once we overcome this crazy bias, and a woman isn't seen to be "shamed" or "defiled" whenever she has sex; and when people stop referring to busy vaginas as tired pool-sized pussies; then she can participate freely without being persuaded by any other incentives except for the enjoyment of the act itself.

Aptly put

NightHound:
The bias in society is such that when a woman has sex, she's viewed as 'less than'; while when a man has sex, he's patted on the back. If sex were a currency, it's women who would be spending anytime they had sex? Spending their dignity in the eyes of society. Because in the end, they're the ones left morally depleted. So holding back, and giving sparingly even when in love, is just the deserved instinct.

So, even though both parties enjoy sex (maybe equally), the fallout is uneven. Once we overcome this crazy bias, and a woman isn't seen to be "shamed" or "defiled" whenever she has sex; and when people stop referring to busy vaginas as tired pool-sized pussies; then she can participate freely without being persuaded by any other incentives except for the enjoyment of the act itself.

Boss,

In more developed climes, their ladies enjoy sex without attaching monetary value to their vaginas.

It's only in Africa that most ladies see sex as an escape route from poverty.

sapien:
Yes. It should be of mutual benefit to both.

If you want to enjoy sex, enjoy it. It's very wrong to use it as a bargaining chip.

If you want to break up with your partner, break up on the basis of a thorough conviction that you are done with him, not on the basis of offering sex.

in our contemporary society now,its difficult not that its "imposible" to see,but aint value added to relationship by the female folks not trying to be sexist but reality.The truth is that society has make it looks as if its only enjoy by men alone.In as much,sex is related to boost the ego of some men,ladies wil continue use it as a bargaining chip.

pocohantas:


Are you among the virgin hunters?

lols .. you know what my mention is for. Leave NL children make dem they find their virgins. There are things in the sex concept other than virgin or non virgin. Life is sexually transmitted. do respond to what we are on