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How Tolerant Are You - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? / Who's More Tolerant In Relationships? / Who's More Tolerant? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Tolerant Are You by KennyG6(m): 6:11pm On Mar 31, 2010
bluespice:

if you say anything i'll skin you alive! angry

hey boo kiss
*proud bipolar reppin* cool
my sweet tender lips are sealed, lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed grin grin grin
how u dey?
Re: How Tolerant Are You by bluespice(f): 6:13pm On Mar 31, 2010
Kenny_G:

my sweet tender lips are sealed, lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed grin grin grin
how u dey?
lmfao! see self praising grin
im iite, u good?

ayettymama:

^^ check my shoes! grin grin grin
hate you regardless! angry
tongue
not my style, but u seem to be working them hawtly wink
oooh i love the blue tights kiss
still hate you kiss
Re: How Tolerant Are You by bobokelly(m): 6:15pm On Mar 31, 2010
The last thing i will never accept in my , if my wife cheat on me , i will never forgive, never, jesussssssssssssssssssssssssss
Re: How Tolerant Are You by r231(m): 7:56pm On Mar 31, 2010
cvibe:

Once you tell lies, there's nothing more to hold on to.

true talk
Re: How Tolerant Are You by Parnassuss(m): 8:20pm On Mar 31, 2010
I don't really care if my wife cheats or not, I can't get worked up over that stuff, I'm woman territorial in the least. Sad but true. undecided
Re: How Tolerant Are You by switosman(m): 8:26pm On Mar 31, 2010
tolutara:

Since I am married, I can only give my opinion based on that perspective:

I am certainly not tolerant to being cheated on and reactions will  most likely be as follows:

1. Stunned that the absolute man of dreams, flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone would do this , Disbelief

2. Upset that he will find another woman so disireable not only in his mind but to actually carry out the action of sleeping with them, Hurt

3. Wondering what was my contribution to his actions (i.e cheating) , Confused

4. The fact that he will disrespect me in this way, Anger

5. Get my self tested  for STDs, being realistic.

Once all of the above is over, I will have him take a break for a few days to both clear our heads (i.e not being in the same house) and it doesn't matter who leaves. I will have him meet me somewhere neutral for a discussion.  Would like to know what happened, what led to this behavior, what was he missing at home and without being accusatory , what did i do to contribute to it, How long has the affair been going on, was it a one night stand or a full blown affair. Depending on his answers, we will take it from there, But I do believe in working on my marriage unless he wants out.




this the only reasonable contribution in this tread, pple just talk n the forget talk is only talk pray that such don't come your way
Re: How Tolerant Are You by ibabalol: 8:59pm On Mar 31, 2010
my tolerant level?
zero!!!!
Re: How Tolerant Are You by peacettw: 9:06pm On Mar 31, 2010
To be truthful and realistic, i will stay put in d marriage. For better or worse, right? I mean, that can't just be referring to a flesh eating illness or stroke that will leave him all paralyzed and drooling saliva, somewhere in that statement, adultery is also tucked in somewhere. Suffice it to say, i will find it hard to ever trust him again and to be realistic yet again, i will learn to pay more attention when men pay compliments to me.
Re: How Tolerant Are You by boomssey(f): 9:17pm On Mar 31, 2010
Re: How Tolerant Are You
« #29 on: Today at 01:11:44 PM »

Cheating topic again. Well, let me see what is obtainable here in Nigeria where i am presently residing.
If a man cheats, its because he is a man
If a woman cheat, it is because she is a slot.
The entire scenario does not give give the woman any advantage.

For me, if my wife cheats, that is the end of the marriage, i only pray that God should help me to accept her back otherwise, "for better, she stays, for worse, she packs". Church no go solve this problem at all.
@God i cnt help but laff. cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: How Tolerant Are You by boomssey(f): 9:22pm On Mar 31, 2010
@poster,well if my guy was caught in d act i'll jst walk off n neva com bak.'av done it b4 n i'll do it again,dat way d guy will knw the gravity of his sin.
Re: How Tolerant Are You by jatwill(m): 10:00pm On Mar 31, 2010
a man is as faithful as his option cheesy
Re: How Tolerant Are You by adetoru(f): 10:49pm On Mar 31, 2010
this is how to do it

Re: How Tolerant Are You by adetoru(f): 11:03pm On Mar 31, 2010
Or you could do this

Re: How Tolerant Are You by eros(m): 11:36pm On Mar 31, 2010
tolutara:

Since I am married, I can only give my opinion based on that perspective:

I am certainly not tolerant to being cheated on and reactions will  most likely be as follows:

1. Stunned that the absolute man of dreams, flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone would do this , Disbelief

2. Upset that he will find another woman so disireable not only in his mind but to actually carry out the action of sleeping with them, Hurt

3. Wondering what was my contribution to his actions (i.e cheating) , Confused

4. The fact that he will disrespect me in this way, Anger

5. Get my self tested  for STDs, being realistic.

Once all of the above is over, I will have him take a break for a few days to both clear our heads (i.e not being in the same house) and it doesn't matter who leaves. I will have him meet me somewhere neutral for a discussion.  Would like to know what happened, what led to this behavior, what was he missing at home and without being accusatory , what did i do to contribute to it, How long has the affair been going on, was it a one night stand or a full blown affair. Depending on his answers, we will take it from there, But I do believe in working on my marriage unless he wants out.






Very reasonable, objective and matured way to handle the situation. Most of the ladies ranting on here should read this over and over again and make it stick to their brain. Upping and leaving the guy doesn't solve the problem. You only end up being tagged a promiscuous lady who enjoins jumping from one man to another. Just accept it, most men will always end up cheating on their spouse at some point in their relationship. But not all men who cheat on their spouse are bad people. Sometimes, its just a one night stand, heat of the moment, just a "THING" with men.

If you think you have a "MR PERFECT" who doesn't cheat on you, you had better have a rethink and investigate him properly. You will be surprised at what you will discover.
Re: How Tolerant Are You by ayettymama(f): 12:19am On Apr 01, 2010
^^ pls not all men feel the need to cheat!
i accept a marriage is different and difficult to walk away from
but in dating it would be stoipid of the woman to stay
cos he will continue!- the person will come into the same probmlem when he/she is married!
pls being tagged a promiscous lady or being seen as happy and bein burnt inside??
no wonder children end up soo ffed up! when thier unhappy mother treat them lyke sh*t!
i dnt believe in that 'thing' with men- and i think its sad when women use that to excuse them!
Re: How Tolerant Are You by THEAMAKA(f): 12:30am On Apr 01, 2010
eros:


Very reasonable, objective and matured way to handle the situation. Most of the ladies ranting on here should read this over and over again and make it stick to their brain. Upping and leaving the guy doesn't solve the problem. You only end up being tagged a promiscuous lady who enjoins jumping from one man to another. Just accept it, most men will always end up cheating on their spouse at some point in their relationship. But not all men who cheat on their spouse are bad people. Sometimes, its just a one night stand, heat of the moment, just a "THING" with men.

If you think you have a "MR PERFECT" who doesn't cheat on you, you had better have a rethink and investigate him properly. You will be surprised at what you will discover.
i bet your the same guy that would go ballistic when your wife cheats on you, right?
lol
then she can turn around and say it was a one night stand, heat of the moment, just a "THING"?
i bet you wouldn't hesitate to label her all kinds of things.
Re: How Tolerant Are You by minute(f): 12:49am On Apr 01, 2010
Give his crap to Goodwill and change the locks.

I will not deal with it.
Re: How Tolerant Are You by ayettymama(f): 6:26am On Apr 01, 2010
kai roki u wicked ooo!¬!!!!!hell hath no fury! kaiiii
Re: How Tolerant Are You by InesQor(m): 9:14am On Apr 01, 2010
I am one of the most tolerant people I know.

But I don't tolerate cheating.

If we're not married, it ends there.

If we are married, we just may still work something out depending on the circumstances.

@tolutara: Nice one. You have a good thinking head on your shoulders.  smiley
Re: How Tolerant Are You by Babyzm: 9:42am On Apr 01, 2010
For the married ones here,it seems our minds go on a forever journey when we are taking our vows cause we don't ever remember them especially the 'for worse'.we've got to try to make it work even adultery
Re: How Tolerant Are You by Ninapha(f): 9:49am On Apr 01, 2010
@ayettemama

thats the mentality- right there!
how are u respected when he cheats??

how are u put first when he cheats??

how does he love u dearly again i must say WHEN HE CHEATS??

there is no probability another man will!  but the beleif that all men are bad makes women degrade themselves!

then again i must say this sort of tolerance is common- women no longer think they deserve much


I am saying it again, marriage is more than just a relationship.  So long, no one deserves to be cheated yet, your reaction and actions at such times may even be a determinant factor on how the man u may meet in future would regard you.  

when African men say, i cant tolerate cheating, 80% of african woman would  cry, behave withdrawn but would still agree to settleing the issue.


In courtship, one may leave to save future heart break but when married, it's more sensitive.  So many situations can lead to cheating and its most important to find out why first and how to stop it fromhappening again.

In forgiveness marriage lives on,  its not about mentality but holy injunction.

@bluebunnie

You are a wife not just a woman. grin
Re: How Tolerant Are You by agathamari(f): 9:51am On Apr 01, 2010
if im fortunate enough that the incident happend in a country where it is against the law i will take full advantage of such. either way im gone! cheating is not an accident, its a conscience action - there is no forgiving that
Re: How Tolerant Are You by ayettymama(f): 9:52am On Apr 01, 2010
for worst doesnt even include adultery!

lolz- even Jesus said your free to leave for adultery!

Then again thinkin about it

those wedding vows dont include faithfulness

hmmm i wonder who came up with them?
Re: How Tolerant Are You by queeneve: 9:58am On Apr 01, 2010
Hee hee@Ayetty
Re: How Tolerant Are You by ayettymama(f): 10:00am On Apr 01, 2010
[quote author=Ninapha link=topic=422500.msg5809319#msg5809319 date=1270111784
I am saying it again, marriage is more than just a relationship. So long, no one deserves to be cheated yet, your reaction and actions at such times may even be a determinant factor on how the man u may meet in future would regard you.

when African men say, i cant tolerate cheating, 80% of african woman would cry, behave withdrawn but would still agree to settleing the issue.


In courtship, one may leave to save future heart break but when married, it's more sensitive. So many situations can lead to cheating and its most important to find out why first and how to stop it fromhappening again.

In forgiveness marriage lives on, its not about mentality but holy injunction.

@bluebunnie

You are a wife not just a woman. grin
[/quote]

No its nothing to do with holiness- like ive said many times the bible permits you to leave a marriage- but im not encouraging that its not something i would do im just saying- its an individuals decision when he/she decides to tolerate cheating

cos when u accept it- its not onli ur partner that cheated on you

you have also cheated on yourself

im not saying one shouldnt forgive- its unrealistic to think he wont do it again when u do

leaving a man for cheating can onli make u a better person, and help u make better choices in future!

80% of these african women are maltreated, beaten, abused, stoned beheaded, starved, raped, the list can go on

then again its not culture, its not religion, its pure mentality!
Re: How Tolerant Are You by DAVE5(m): 10:03am On Apr 01, 2010
cheating cant stop on earth.neva.hmnhmn
Re: How Tolerant Are You by Ninapha(f): 11:03am On Apr 01, 2010
leaving a man for cheating can onli make u a better person, and help u make better choices in future!

80% of these african women are maltreated, beaten, abused, stoned beheaded, starved, despoiled, the list can go on

then again its not culture, its not religion, its pure mentality!


@ayettemama

and if the next person cheats too and the next and the next grin grin grin would you then keep leaving from one man to another? I am not saying its ok with me, if its still a courtship thing then one saves herself from future heartbreak by doing what suits her but if its in marriage, hey! i dont see how leaving would make u a better person, u dont get better by experimenting but by realising your weakness working on them.

its not about mentality, its about holding on! we all know what is painful!
Re: How Tolerant Are You by ayettymama(f): 11:11am On Apr 01, 2010
lolz

so ur the weak one when ur partner cheats on you?? interesting *rubs chin* veeery interesting

not all men cheat dear- youll be a better judge of character- so the next and the next shit is junk

but at least uve given me a reason why women stay in th eworst possible situations- it is about holding on- some women will hold on to satan himself than be alone!

im sawy thats mentality- shrug the shoulders, smile to the cameras- metality in its prime!
what does that say about the woman??

how much does she value herself??
Re: How Tolerant Are You by Ninapha(f): 12:21pm On Apr 01, 2010
@ayettmama



so your the weak one when your partner cheats on you?? interesting *rubs chin* veeery interesting

not all men cheat dear- youll be a better judge of character- so the next and the next poo is junk


No dear, maybe u did not get my line, your line of arguement that leaving a cheating patner makes one a better person is not true. U rather become a better person by working on your weakness which may also be improving on your tolerant measure.

There is higher tendency that ur next patner may cheat also so when u are ready to leave one also be so ready to leave another incase he errs too. Not all men are cheats yet because you are not the man, you cant possibly say if he would cheat, u see!

Leaving cant really solve the problem of cheating. grin grin
Re: How Tolerant Are You by ayettymama(f): 12:45pm On Apr 01, 2010
??

ok so basially ur a better person when ur man cheats on u and u tolerate it??

there is no high tendency ur next partner would cheat

theres only a possibility!

u become a better person cos 1ce bitten 2wice shy

people learn from thier experiences!

ull smell a rat a mile off! youll know if ur man would cheat!

theres nothing wonderful about bein cheated on and theres nothing more pathetic than tolerating it!

i mean if ur married and theres something keepin u there fine- i gather- more complicated

but if its courtship or warreva- he cheats on u- u sit there like hibernating hedgehogg, ur nothing but . . . . . . whatever u think of urself

definitely not a smart and certainly not a better person!
Re: How Tolerant Are You by Ninapha(f): 2:31pm On Apr 01, 2010
I think we are saying the smae thing but basically from different angle.

I have been talking more in respect to marriages while i think u are talking relatively to courtship or mere relationships.

no one likes cheating but in marriages, its not easy to pull out, i would rather hold on. there are other ways to punish a cheat.

I repeat if its still courtship, i will walk away to save myself future heart break. but as a married woman, i wont work aways espeically with children, nay! i will hold my home. pronto!
Re: How Tolerant Are You by CuteAngel(f): 4:51pm On Apr 01, 2010
Its a painful situation, i don't know till then.

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