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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Islam for Muslims / What Were You Doing In An Empty Room, The First Question To Ask A Rape Victim? (447 Views)
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What Were You Doing In An Empty Room, The First Question To Ask A Rape Victim? by Lilzmalcolm(m): 4:34pm On Jan 15, 2018 |
How true it is that it takes a considerable ton of knowledge for one to know just how ignorant he is. A vast majority of people would attest to the fact that they have a bit of problem with their construction of sentences in English language, especially when it comes to the proper usage and placement of modifiers, but none would ever agree to the fact that he knows not where to place and when to ask those accusing questions whose functions are only to impute guilt and blame to a rape victim, albeit, it might not be intentional but responsive; Neither of the two does not go down to our utter ignorance. Recently, the wrath of social media warriors was provoked by the infuriating news of 7 year old Zaynab who was raped and murdered in the Pakistani city of Kasur; but alas, the supposed embitterment stirred by the news only prompted and provoked the unruly comments of e-warriors that were uncalled for. A particular comment that caught my attention was that of a ’warrior’ asking what the he** the parents were doing that they left their seven year old to the claws of the fast devouring monster, rape, as if they had thrown Zaynab at an Institute of rape and even filled a form for her. Another ’warrior’ lamented how the innocent girl had lost her values and innocence, rather than how a man had stolen her innocence and.. well, her values still glitter untouched. Screening their comments, it can be understood that the ’gentlemen’ were infuriated by the news, but were those supposed to be the first questions to ask? how would those have helped in soothing the bereaved parents? We will all agree to the fact that their approaches weren’t the most perfect ones, but are we all not guilty of the same? Do we not ask a rape victim first if she was alone in the room with her rapist, do we not ask if she had a full jilbaab on when she was raped or had she only a head scarf on her? Do we not say, when we see women who are dressed, yet unclad that if they were to be raped, they would put the blame on men rather than themselves,as if justifying the dehumanizing act.Do we not say those as if the fact that the woman was unclad would lessen the retribution for rape when the rapist faces Allah? All these point to a common thing; we are empowering the rapists by ensuring that the first thing we do when we hear a story is to rummage the story and pick on a point where the victim is to blame. And in the case of a 7-year old whose heart is too fragile to embody the blames, we immediately turn to her parents and in the process forget about the rapist. The intrinsic effect of those responsive comments is that the victim sees things from an angle which sincerely is the angle from which we can see the most vivid pictures. What the victim sees? You are being sympathetic towards the rapist and not her since you keep blaming her for attracting and not doing things to repel the rapist. It sounds to them like, "poor man, had the foolish girl left the room, he wouldn’t have been the one everyone is blaming now, see how she got the man suffering due to her own stupidity" And the fear of that is what most rape victims nurse that makes them keep to themselves. I tell you, that many a lady has been a victim of rape, and ’lady’ saves neither your daughter nor sister. While we say this though, it might be necessary to state that no one says that it is wrong to try to correct the mistake she made, but definitely not as an immediate response to the news. And, from what I've read, it might even be unnecessary to ever talk about her mistakes. This is because rape Victims have a natural tendency to look for every possible way to blame themselves, and that is the main reason why the effect lasts for a long time. As long as she feels she should have done something to prevent the rape each time something triggers memories of it, she would keep on being consumed by its effect. So, you think you’re still the best person to point to her mistakes for her? she knows a billion and would never repeat them. yours is to comfort her and not point to her mistakes, except of course, when you realize she doesn’t seem to believe she did anything wrong despite having had only a headscarf on her, or having been alone with a non-mahram. But, while we are at that, we should also understand that it is better not to link those mistakes directly to the rape, but rather, treat them separately from the angle of going against Allah’s orders. You can simply tell her being alone with a man was a sin, but must you tell her that was why she got raped? Must you expose her to these scars once again? However, If you disagree, and are an exponent of the belief that she has to be repeatedly lectured to understand that those mistakes were the cause of the rape, then I tell you, that if you don’t know of a chaste sister who has been raped, of one whose dressing aligns with the Islamic teachings, well I do, and lots of us do. Who is talking of a jilbaabite? mtcheeeeew, niqabite is what we are saying here. but you’ll never know. Why? Because these sisters have a fear your responses would go thus: "were you in your jilbaab?" yes. "Niqaab?"yes. "ehhhm, were you guys like close, like you do chat?" no. "but you weren’t dumb when he entered the room, you weren't disabled, you should have left immediately" And wouldn’t it? Also, we must understand that while it is compulsory that we instill and inculcate moral values in our daughters, it Is wrong, totally wrong to rear them with that feeling that by simply covering up properly and adhering strictly to Allah’s laws, they would be free from all sort of harms. what assures you of that? if it were so, then there would be no need for a mahram when travelling, as long as the sister is covered in jilbaab. We must understand that if they are reared with this sort of thinking, they might never recover from a rape as their nights would continue to be haunted and their lives, marred by the belief. They would keep rummaging their memories for that point where they sinned to have deserved that. They would continue to live with that feeling that the rape was all their fault even if they can’t point to a cogent mistake they made. And if it was right to teach them such, then, we would have to re-visit the Hadith which states that those of human beings befallen by the most severe of trials are the Prophets. Are they the most profound sinners? As the the most vehement propagators of travelling with a mahram, it doesn't align with our ideology to think that you only get raped if and only if you do something to warrant that, in the physical terms. Abdurrahman Alhasan Adedokun. (Lan Rey Hasan) |
Re: What Were You Doing In An Empty Room, The First Question To Ask A Rape Victim? by Hashimyussufamao(m): 4:42pm On Jan 15, 2018 |
hmmnn ogbenutan!! |
Re: What Were You Doing In An Empty Room, The First Question To Ask A Rape Victim? by tintingz(m): 10:23pm On Jan 16, 2018 |
Nice write up. |
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