Why do one have to pay bride price?

Nairalanders i need your views

I wanna know too

Because it's tradition and our forefathers did this and stay many more years on this world

In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raised her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

Jaykolo10:
Because it's tradition and our forefathers did this and stay many more years on this world

the reason they started the bride price issue is what i wanna know...

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raise her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

hmm

Fmartin:
hmm

What belief do your people hold for the bride price or at least your understanding of it?

Fmartin:
the reason they started the bride price issue is what i wanna know...

Then you have to go back in time.... or meet 9ice he's the ancestors

To those saying paying bride price is like buying the bride. Islamically, the bride price is paid to the bride not her parents (it's her property).

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raise her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

Where I come from, bride price is paid to the bride not her parents.

MDsambo:



Where I come from, bride price is paid to the bride not her parents.

Ok. Fair enough, I guess. Why to her & not her parents? Curious.

XhosaNostra:


Ok. Fair enough, I guess. Why to her & not her parents? Curious.

In Islam, women are not owned by their families and should not be traded with. If bride price is paid to the bride's family, then I think that makes her no difference with a goat being sold in the market.

MDsambo:


In Islam, women are not owned by their families and should not be traded with. If bride price is paid to the bride's family, then I think that makes her no difference with a goat being sold in the market.

Ok. I don't wanna go into that because women are often treated as properties in most Islamic countries/societies. Often seen but not heard. So let's leave it right there.

XhosaNostra:


What belief do your people hold for the bride price or at least your understanding of it?

what i believe is that some families only want to get plenty money hence, they place a heavy bride price on their daughters. most of the youths in my place who cant afford bride price take the short cut, 'elopement' . If money is to be excluded from bride price, it will be good.


i don't know anything as to why tradition imposed bride price.

lalasticlala whats your view?

Why do we pay for the items we purchase?

Ask google?

To pay the father off because she becomes your property

Just culture I guess. Because 200h, 1k, 5k-50k+ can never be enough to "buy" a woman.

What

What a good question! elders on nairaland should come to our rescue

Culture & Tradition....... Some families would request it, but hand it all back .......

But some very greedy families would request heaven and earth and keep it all.................

To show curtesy

The real answer: I believe paying bride price is a form of traditional/cultural formality to show that the lady being given away by her family in marriage is now "owned" by the man marrying her. It is also to show courtesy to the family of the lady as a small way of saying, "Take this as a token for all your efforts exerted and for all you invested in your daughter to become the woman she is now"

Note that, this bride price thing goes way back to the days of our fore fathers and uhmmm... Well... Traditional courtesy is the just what this bride price is all about. In some parts of Asia like in India, women pay brideprice for men... Loolll... What will y'all say about that?

Anyway shaa, in a final nutshelp on this point, Brideprice is just a traditional way of showing courtesy to the family and appreciating them in a special little way for the efforts they exerted in bringing up a lady ripe for marriage. Note that the amount paid is NEVER the true worth of the woman... It is only a token to symbolise that the lady is indeed worthy and priceless.... And a token of appreciation for all the parents and family did and contributed to making her bloom into the lady shevis now.






The sad reality: To mundane men and men with a warped sense of what marriage actually is....this is what brideprice is (to them)...

Brideprice is a way of buying a woman off her family so that she will have no say in his own house. I bought her dammit! So she should worship at my feet naa.... You think say e easy to pay One or two milla for woman head... Omo pack well ooo... I don buy am so make she behave. I can do whatever I want now

Brideprice is a what some men pay to use in arguments later with his wife to intimidate her into submission. Such a man will say, "Listen up woman! You have no right to tell me that what I did is wrong! You have no right to question how I run this family... I dont even need your advice sef. Have you forgotten how much I paid on your head? So swerve and know your place woman! You are a property! My property! and you have no say here"

Brideprice is also what is paid by these bunch of baby-men for EGO's sake also to be used in arguments again so that it will be said to the woman... For instance..., "Bia!! I dont owe a dime on your head okay! So you will give me sex whenever I want it, whether you are tired or not inugo?"


Lastly, and this is possibly the most cynical.... Some men actually do this and will use it as a way of measuring the woman's worth.
"Listen up Nneka! I paid Three million on your head alone minus expenses incurred for the wedding and all... Three million is what you are worth so biko, don't be running your mouth to me when I have more than 50 million for my akant inugo? I can buy and bring in 20 of pyu onto this house and nothing will happen! So sit down and mind your place woman!"




Conclusion: It is tradition where I come from to pay a bride price for the ladies. But let us try respect and honor the true reason for doing so and neevr use that as the yardstick to judge our wife's worth. I know of some people happily married today who never had to drag the matter of brideprice or even paid sef. Some didn't have to even pay brideprice, yet they are are quite okay in their marriage

Brideprice Or NOT..... Marriage is sacred and it works best when the man treats his woman like the Queen she us to him and when the Woman honors her man as her King. Finito.

XhosaNostra:
In some cultures, it is believed that once a woman is married, she is no longer part of her biological family, but a new daughter/ family member to her husband's family. So by paying a bride price, you're showing gratitude to the people who raise her, fed her, sent her to school & instilled some values in her. They prepared her just for you & your family, so you must give them something back as a reward for all the work they had to put in. At least that's how we look at it in my culture. In the olden days you couldn't even run back home if your husband is troubling you, they'd send you back so you can go discuss your issues with your "new mother".

Wow. You're ..Jeez

I know say small wahala go happen for this thread

Jaykolo10:
Because it's tradition and our forefathers did this and stay many more years on this world

ur forefathers worshiped idols dat needed human sacrifice. Y u self no dey do am

Tradition