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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me (53508 Views)
I Cheated-my Marriage Is Falling Apart / Help, My Brother's Marriage Is About To Collapse / POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Nobody: 1:42am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Bros, that your wife is dancing to a music being played by her family and your best bet is to be a real man. Few words with lots of silence is the key here. Those guys have a bigger plan but your wife isn't ready to play their game yet hence her on and off attitude. Just keep calm and watch their next step. Never shift your grounds on certain decisions or you'll keep shifting. One more thing, never let anyone dictate how you treat your mum. 14 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by daewoorazer(m): 3:50am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Y'all didn't address a particular issue... And it's no 1 below: 1. An in-law, worst she is a woman, and you let her feed and provide shelter over your head. You invariably sold your right as a man. 2. You married as a boy, you are still a boy if you ask me. A man will not seek for help to such issue on here. 3. Find an old man in your family or some old man close to you, ask him to advice you, teach you how to be a man. Peace! 10 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by ibizgirl(f): 3:54am On Mar 18, 2018 |
For your wife not to give your mother food in your own house is the height of it, your wife lacks proper upbringing and to think her mum was there. Nobody likes divorce but attitude of both parties determine how long a marriage will last. Double your prayer and hustle. She and her family feel because you are broke they can control you. 15 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by ashjay001(m): 4:12am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Give her marriage n discover d witch u were dating! ![]() U too soft o, op. Avoid taking charity from d in-laws. Ur marriage is f*cked, sha. U both, are not matured. U've left a lot out. Everything is just jumbled. U can fuel ur gen everyday, but u need approval to buy fuel to go pick ur mom? Was there no father figure for u? This ur post, makes me scared for my kids ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Nobody: 5:15am On Mar 18, 2018 |
donstan18:yeah...you are right...but from his summation, the wife needs to be more responsible to her husband and marriage...like I said earlier,she led them. If you put your foot down and make them understand there are boundaries and your marriage is one of them...they will not have entrance. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Bibi294(f): 5:32am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Marriage between 0-5 years needs thorough counseling...cos the rate of divorce within these years is quite high and alarming...Both of you are highly immature, first and foremost, I think no one is seeing the bad sides of your mum too... She's lazy and all because of a fight, she went to make her hair all alone... I don't really support how your wife handles matters but I think both of you really need to stay off your family members... The fact that you eat and get financial support from you sisinlaw makes her treat you like some piece of trash... Pay up and man up... Double your hustle and stop seeking advices from her family... Go pick her for your child's sake... But learn to let off grudges, give listening ears and run your marriage with your wife... Be easy in her and let pride away... I bet in 10years you'll stay giving marriage counseling to people too 4 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Nobody: 5:40am On Mar 18, 2018 |
VampireeM:na one side of the story be this na. Bet if u hear the wifes side u wud be shocked 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by ryd3(m): 6:07am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Hey guys.... It's a marriage, so there is another side to the story. Ur marriage is going through its teething stage, so forget divorce. First mistake : 2 in laws under the same roof. Its gonna be war. Secondly, u should Balance ur relationship between wife and her family and urs. Third, I agree. U can't carry the load back. Let her get an uber or something. But forget divorce, work on the marriage. She loves u, it's just pride 10 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Centrallock: 6:09am On Mar 18, 2018 |
SaudiBoy:oga be a man, take your stand and make sure you stand by it, stop being a push over, if you must carry the load do that because you love her not because your marriage is threatened, why would your in-laws always threaten you in your marriage?? , stop being weak because one day you wife might wake up to decide how many breathe you should take. You that wears the shoes knows how best its pains you but if i was in your shoes i would ignore her and her family for some time to even know if she still values our marriage... If she does no one will tell her to come back and apologize if she does not then calculate your next move according to how you want to live your life. Hope for the best but always prepare for the worst!!! 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by ImaIma1(f): 7:13am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Please report them to an elder in the family or a spiritual leader that they respect. Someone needs to tell them to back off. Your wife doesn't have a mind of her own. She is acting like a puppet. She has no right insulting your mum. She must also apologize to your her. If push comes to shove, let her be. Don't call her or show interest in her(except for your son).She will get scared that she is losing you. You should probably get your sister or cousin to come cook for you and stock it in your refrigerator. But don't tell your wife your sister made it. Tell her it's a good friend of yours. Your wife is spoilt and acting foolish. Her sister is still in her husband's house and will probably not allow anyone interfer. 6 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Nobody: 7:34am On Mar 18, 2018 |
That wife is annoying. This explains why the older generation of men did not ask their wives opinion when doing things ![]() 15 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Nobody: 7:47am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Many people only find out the real person they marry when there are challenges eg financial one. Some women have been feeding and paying bills for the family and no one gets to know( God bless them).:bt majority na den wahala go start. U bcom a useless man. They stop respecting u too. Sometimes i think marriage is overated and not worth it 5 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by luminouz(m): 7:50am On Mar 18, 2018 |
FluidQueen:Rubbish advice..... Tell d woman to act mature too! 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Efewestern: 7:51am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Muafrika2: They are the real men, not the Weaklings of these days, imagine letting your sister in-law telling you wat to do. Heck, You can't try this with men from my side, we don't take nonsense. 6 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by TrueHeart365(m): 7:51am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Lol. I read. Your story and laughed. Bro, your wife is not even close to what my bro's wife is. It was bad to the extent she wanted to stop my brother from seeing every member of his family just cos her papa get money. My brother just left her to stay in her family house for almost a year with their daughter(he was ready to damn the consequence than live a miserable young life). Never begged her and even started dating in case the marriage fails. Till now if I go to their house, baby girl dey greet me with respect. You need to show your immature and spoiled wife your emotions are in check.. Be a man and be firm with your decision. Divorce no be disease especially when you wifed the wrong person. I'm speaking from a very personal experience. 24 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by HerXLNC(f): 8:00am On Mar 18, 2018 |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thank me later ![]() ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by CuriousMynd: 8:09am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Sad |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by femi4: 8:12am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Spactacle:The guy has been depending on his in-law for financial support. He has no say in the direction his family should follow |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by kkkossy(m): 8:14am On Mar 18, 2018 |
@op, sincerely speaking in as much as I feel your pain. I think your wife is immature judging from her age. She doesn’t trust her own judgment hence she relies on he sister for advice whilst she has a family to build. This is always the case with younger wives. I am not married but I feel your pain. Younger wives are naive, very typical to dating an undergraduate. But that being said. I feel the reason why she is treating u this way is cos your financial status has declined hence she feels u have nothing to offer for now which is basically what a typical undergraduate will perceive. Marriage is bound to have financial issues at some point but being able to manage and overcome the weight is what makes the marriage strong. You are the man of the house. Forgive her and bring her back cos she is your wife. But always stick to your words. If she ever threatens to leave or eventually leaves again, just let her be. She still doesn’t understand what marriage is all about and with time she would com back to her senses. Her sister is killing your marriage. 4 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by HerXLNC(f): 8:21am On Mar 18, 2018 |
FluidQueen: You spoke my mind |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Nobody: 8:27am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Efewestern:I appreciate my dad now. I used to think the guy was a dictator ![]() |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by SaudiBoy(m): 8:33am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Reading through let me make something clear about the money i borrowed from my in-law You see am not broke, I live in an comfortable house, drive a good car, and have a land in the state i reside, with a back up bank balance that gave me confidence, but overnight i watched all i have go away due to circumstance better imagined. I own a truck used for sand and stone transportation, and people into this business will know drivers remit 150k weekly. My problem started when my truck was involved in an accident which cost a life and also condemned the car, my driver disappeared from the scene and my conductor was in custody for 13weeks After police case and everything, I paid the family 2.5m for burial and compensation, I paid 400k to the driver of the car my truck hit, bailed my conductor, my truck and closed the police case with 150k. So this expense cost me 3m that was y i had to seek that loan. Now i decided not to engage in the trucking business anymore and sell off the truck, but the best price I have gotten from a buyer is 1.5m for a truck i bought 4.5m 2 years ago, so i refused to sell. Still waiting for the right price. To pay off my debt and run my home, I am secretly using my car for uber without my wife's knowledge.although she said i should just sell the truck and start again I don't want to believe my wife is about the money because she met be broke and we built our wealth together before finally getting married, my problem is during this crisis, she started confiding in her sisters more, and this is where it has landed me 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Cadillac15(m): 8:39am On Mar 18, 2018 |
This scenario is prevalent in southern Nigeria now and unless something urgent is done, it will continue. I see no reason why senior sisters who are in their husband house will always want to interfere and run their junior sisters home. They forget that nobody is interfering in their own homes and use emotional blackmail to kill their siblings marriage. And in all the cases i have seen, their mothers are either silent thereby supporting such nonsense or dead. Very pathetic. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by lereinter(m): 8:40am On Mar 18, 2018 |
you should stand your ground |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by JONNYSPUTE(m): 8:47am On Mar 18, 2018 |
Op sorry for what you are passing through but you were the cause of the whole issue. Well it has happened,and I won't want to start condemning you. Behave like a fool,accept her back,never mind,just go and pick those stuffs.Sit her down and talk to her and also try to be the man of the house. Marriage has no formula,things that worked for me may not work for you. But the most important thing is for you to take charge if ur home,it seems like your inlaws are running it for you. Gudluck bro. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by sacramento1212: 8:51am On Mar 18, 2018 |
SaudiBoy: From your story,were you did wrong was going to your wife sister's house to spend time due to the financial challenges. No matter what, you shouldn't have done that. Borrowing money from her to me isn't much of an issue because you indicated you guys were very close. An inlaw remains an inlaw. Though some are better than others but the deed is done anyway. I will advise you act as a man for once and don't allow outsiders dictate and run your home. As for your wife, you hold the keys to her attitude. Don't beg her no matter what because you already have made an attempt for reconciliation but she isn't forth coming. I believe she will come back to her senses. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by marvin906(m): 8:57am On Mar 18, 2018 |
when a man can't take charge in he's home this is the result.. my advice swallow your pride for now get your wife and child back in your home.. sit her down and tell her your mind.. whatever she does after determine your next step. another never ever ever involved her sister and your mom in your family affairs again.. blacklist them if need be 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Spactacle(m): 8:58am On Mar 18, 2018 |
femi4: Yeah you're right. The sis in-law has no regards for the guy since she's been aiding the guy financially. 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by SaudiBoy(m): 9:23am On Mar 18, 2018 |
You see there is more to this story that meets the eye. That is why I decided to be calm about this whole issue, because it has really opened my eyes, I don't believe this has to do with the money i loaned because the sisters husband also loans money from me atimes, And pays back, I was very very close to them. I only soft pedalled on this issue because it is very clear to me there is a grand script been planned by my sister in-laws out of jelousy, because she has been childless for 7 years of marriage. My wife made a statemet that startled me, that she will send me divorce papers, and that the baby been just 2months, court will award her custody and she will just give the baby to her sister and travel out. Then i started working on my wife's senses, talking to her until she became soft and we settled my wife she needed time to heal, I offered her to come back home and heal she said know that her sister just had another miscarriage and she needs to be with her. Now the day my wife came to visit me and decided to sleep over, the sister called her, I pretended to be asleep and I could hear the sister say, now now now, u Don run go sleep there bcoz of sex. The next day it was clear my wife didn't want to go back, I dropped her off around 2pm and before the sister agreed to to open gate for her, it was war after much exchange of whatsapp message I have already given my wife conditions that both our families are not welcome anymore to our house, and i have told her and the sister the day she called me that she wants to settle us, I told her point blank to let us be and that I don't want to have anything relationship with them except it has to do with events other in-laws will come So this truth that are yet to deal with, and the shame of my wife carrying her things back herself, which she is willing to do, but she told me clearly her sister said No, that i should bring my car. And come myself 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by CuriousMynd: 10:04am On Mar 18, 2018 |
SaudiBoy: This says it all 3 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by Bism(m): 11:40am On Mar 18, 2018 |
We cannot say when the marriage will crumble, but certainley the hand writting is on the wall. Be a man and move on, continue to check on your child because peace of mind is everything. Not when you have moved on and find another wife that she would come back after many years like those nollywood movie and tell you new wife that she is your wife and the mother of your child. Do your best to save your married because the method you used tell me that you are matured. I will pick some knowledge from your situation and pray not to have an immature lady as wife because I am the type that don`t struggle with the heart of men but let them be. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me by mystery22: 12:04pm On Mar 18, 2018 |
men of this days self,just sissy. op forget about that woman abi your wife,she is hoe and very arrogant.double your hustle like some said and man the fu*k up.if she likes let her travel out.you can then wait for the right time and sue her family for your child. |
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