Culled from A friend, Worth sharing




Growing up I had the impression that the man was meant to chase after the woman of his dreams, from church and the Bible, I learnt ‘He that finds a wife, finds a good thing’ so I was in no place to do the finding, as long as I was ‘good’ I would be found (period!).

My mother would tell me stories of how my dad came after her, pampered her like a princess and provided for her from a relationship till marriage, 26yrs after, he is still doing the same things (maybe with a little twist). Aunties and family friends would tell me the same thing too, movies ,books, poems and even music videos all seemed to agree with that notion that the man must and will chase after the woman he wants and also take care of her, and according to Onyeka and KSA’s hit song if he loves me he go wait for me

Years later, I enter the field with all these ideas and notions that the man would chase me, woo me and wait for me, not to forget the pampering like a princess, and while I waited to be wooed, I began to hear things like go after what you want, some men are shy so you need to show them you care and pamper them like kings , shine your eye o, men are scarce in the market, don’t achieve too much o before you intimidate all the men away. And believe me I got confused, do I continue to wait or do I follow the new rules of the game.

A lot of ladies were following the new rules and it looked like it was working for them, they had lasting relationships (without questioning the quality of the relationship or happiness), I mean they lasted for as long as one year and I, just kept on waiting,

Then I told myself looks like the rules from the previous generation is not working for me, and I decided to try the new rules of the chase. It was pretty straight forward to understand, mathematically it was:
M + 0S= 1x +R
Where:
M=Man
S= Standards
R= relationship
X= value of relationship (10 being best quality)

At this point, I listened to extra rules like
• Don’t talk about your plans and dreams, you could scare him away
• Like everything he likes
• If you want him to stay , you know what to ‘do’
• Try not to get upset with him when he does something wrong in your first three months

At first, I thought OK I can do this, but what they never told me was in the process of lowering my standards and doing the chasing instead of waiting, I would come across the same men, whom i believe created those rules in their favor.

Men who would take advantage of the lowered standards and then take advantage of me,
Men, whom i would invest my time, money and emotions in the name of ‘making it work’ ,
Men, that got all wifey privileges after all I was meant to show what a good wife I would be but he had no right to show what a good husband he would be to me
Men who would make me be so committed but I could not ask for commitment, because if I did then he would not be committed
Men who would make me excited that I had a fragment (0.01%) of a relationship and the remainder of the relationship waited in a section called ‘One day E go better’

Then I got tired, because it looked like one too many had come and gone and I had nothing to hold on to but a broken heart, pain and shame,

So i’m going back to the previous generation rules, call me old fashioned and I’ll prove to you that it never went out of style, a good friend once said ‘Somos de la gente reales que nadie nos pueden tratar como campesinos en nuestro propio reino’ meaning we are of the royal people, nobody can treat us like peasants in our own kingdom,

As long as I’m ‘good’ I will be found

Sounds like the words of a lonely and depressed woman.
Well. . . keep waiting!

cantell:

Sounds like the words of a lonely and depressed woman.
Well. . . whatever bakes your beans.

You are quite wrong, sound like someone finally understood the game and is returning back to the way things are supposed to be, No?

@ Poster: I feel ur pain and i think its worth the wait, for a patient dog eats the fatest bone. Just be urself, love urself and be hopeful that at God's own time He will surely do it for you cuz His time table is always accurate. I believe God gives the best to those who leave the choice for him. One love sis.

Are you a math teacher ?

never mind rules keep changing every day. Build your own rules

Culled from A friend, Worth sharing




Growing up I had the impression that the man was meant to chase after the woman of his dreams, from church and the Bible, I learnt ‘He that finds a wife, finds a good thing’ so I was in no place to do the finding, as long as I was ‘good’ I would be found (period!).

My mother would tell me stories of how my dad came after her, pampered her like a princess and provided for her from a relationship till marriage, 26yrs after, he is still doing the same things (maybe with a little twist). Aunties and family friends would tell me the same thing too, movies ,books, poems and even music videos all seemed to agree with that notion that the man must and will chase after the woman he wants and also take care of her, and according to Onyeka and KSA’s hit song if he loves me he go wait for me

Years later, I enter the field with all these ideas and notions that the man would chase me, woo me and wait for me, not to forget the pampering like a princess, and while I waited to be wooed, I began to hear things like go after what you want, some men are shy so you need to show them you care and pamper them like kings , shine your eye o, men are scarce in the market, don’t achieve too much o before you intimidate all the men away. And believe me I got confused, do I continue to wait or do I follow the new rules of the game.

A lot of ladies were following the new rules and it looked like it was working for them, they had lasting relationships (without questioning the quality of the relationship or happiness), I mean they lasted for as long as one year and I, just kept on waiting,

Then I told myself looks like the rules from the previous generation is not working for me, and I decided to try the new rules of the chase. It was pretty straight forward to understand, mathematically it was:
M + 0S= 1x +R
Where:
M=Man
S= Standards
R= relationship
X= value of relationship (10 being best quality)

At this point, I listened to extra rules like
• Don’t talk about your plans and dreams, you could scare him away
• Like everything he likes
• If you want him to stay , you know what to ‘do’
• Try not to get upset with him when he does something wrong in your first three months

At first, I thought OK I can do this, but what they never told me was in the process of lowering my standards and doing the chasing instead of waiting, I would come across the same men, whom i believe created those rules in their favor.

Men who would take advantage of the lowered standards and then take advantage of me,
Men, whom i would invest my time, money and emotions in the name of ‘making it work’ ,
Men, that got all wifey privileges after all I was meant to show what a good wife I would be but he had no right to show what a good husband he would be to me
Men who would make me be so committed but I could not ask for commitment, because if I did then he would not be committed
Men who would make me excited that I had a fragment (0.01%) of a relationship and the remainder of the relationship waited in a section called ‘One day E go better’

Then I got tired, because it looked like one too many had come and gone and I had nothing to hold on to but a broken heart, pain and shame,

So i’m going back to the previous generation rules, call me old fashioned and I’ll prove to you that it never went out of style, a good friend once said ‘Somos de la gente reales que nadie nos pueden tratar como campesinos en nuestro propio reino’ meaning we are of the royal people, nobody can treat us like peasants in our own kingdom,

As long as I’m ‘good’ I will be found
[quote][/quote]


It seems like some people do not read and comprehend. look at the bolded words, no advise needed, just sharing info , thats all y'all.

These days we dont have time for long passages or comprehension.

Come to think of it, You might be in that situation.

Pls provide your ref:

elderly:

These days we dont have time for long passages or comprehension.

Come to think of it, You might be in that situation.

Pls provide your ref:

Look at my old posts, you will quickly find that I am happy married woman with 3 Pikins in tow, so my dear, , Def not in any situation.

*singing* Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywwwhereee

poster you are too right!!!

Seems that you will wait until you clock 45 and then realize the new rule is what is working. When the woman equate the men 6:1. No man will see you as long as you don't compete. Competition has made fathers to spend more in education their daughters unlike in the days of your so-called mothers day. Keep on waiting and you will realize that 'menopause'does not affect men but women alone.

hmm bravo

M + 0S= 1x +R
Where:
M=Man
S= Standards
R= relationship
X= value of relationship (10 being best quality)

Answer is X

• Don’t talk about your plans and dreams, you could scare him away
• Like everything he likes
• If you want him to stay , you know what to ‘do’
• Try not to get upset with him when he does something wrong in your first three months


This is how it Ought to be

the author is confused

few years from now, she will be back to the new rules

are there rules in this schitzo at all?

free ur mind and dont be at the mercy of any dating norm.

"as long as ure good, ull be fine"

tkb417:

the author is confused

few years from now, she will be back to the new rules

are there rules in this schitzo at all?

free your mind and dont be at the mercy of any dating norm.

"as long as ure good, ull be fine"

Isn't that what she has been trying to say

See Double standards!, The same idiotic dudes that wants her to drop it like it's hot on the very first date will be looking for virgins AKA good girls when it's time to marry.

Make up your mind folks!!!!, Applaud the woman , she is only trying to do right thing.

tolutara:

Culled from A friend, Worth sharing




Growing up I had the impression that the man was meant to chase after the woman of his dreams, from church and the Bible, I learnt ‘He that finds a wife, finds a good thing’ so I was in no place to do the finding, as long as I was ‘good’ I would be found (period!).

My mother would tell me stories of how my dad came after her, pampered her like a princess and provided for her from a relationship till marriage, 26yrs after, he is still doing the same things (maybe with a little twist). Aunties and family friends would tell me the same thing too, movies ,books, poems and even music videos all seemed to agree with that notion that the man must and will chase after the woman he wants and also take care of her, and according to Onyeka and KSA’s hit song if he loves me he go wait for me

Years later, I enter the field with all these ideas and notions that the man would chase me, woo me and wait for me, not to forget the pampering like a princess, and while I waited to be wooed, I began to hear things like go after what you want, some men are shy so you need to show them you care and pamper them like kings , shine your eye o, men are scarce in the market, don’t achieve too much o before you intimidate all the men away. And believe me I got confused, do I continue to wait or do I follow the new rules of the game.

A lot of ladies were following the new rules and it looked like it was working for them, they had lasting relationships (without questioning the quality of the relationship or happiness), I mean they lasted for as long as one year and I, just kept on waiting,

Then I told myself looks like the rules from the previous generation is not working for me, and I decided to try the new rules of the chase. It was pretty straight forward to understand, mathematically it was:
M + 0S= 1x +R
Where:
M=Man
S= Standards
R= relationship
X= value of relationship (10 being best quality)

At this point, I listened to extra rules like
• Don’t talk about your plans and dreams, you could scare him away
• Like everything he likes
• If you want him to stay , you know what to ‘do’
• Try not to get upset with him when he does something wrong in your first three months

At first, I thought OK I can do this, but what they never told me was in the process of lowering my standards and doing the chasing instead of waiting, I would come across the same men, whom i believe created those rules in their favor.

Men who would take advantage of the lowered standards and then take advantage of me,
Men, whom i would invest my time, money and emotions in the name of ‘making it work’ ,
Men, that got all wifey privileges after all I was meant to show what a good wife I would be but he had no right to show what a good husband he would be to me
Men who would make me be so committed but I could not ask for commitment, because if I did then he would not be committed
Men who would make me excited that I had a fragment (0.01%) of a relationship and the remainder of the relationship waited in a section called ‘One day E go better’

Then I got tired, because it looked like one too many had come and gone and I had nothing to hold on to but a broken heart, pain and shame,

So i’m going back to the previous generation rules, call me old fashioned and I’ll prove to you that it never went out of style, a good friend once said ‘Somos de la gente reales que nadie nos pueden tratar como campesinos en nuestro propio reino’ meaning we are of the royal people, nobody can treat us like peasants in our own kingdom,

As long as I’m ‘good’ I will be found

Where U not the person that came here long time ago praising your lovely husband here on NL?.

After seeing this. . .

tolutara:

Look at my old posts, you will quickly find that I am happy married woman with 3 Pikins in tow, so my dear, , Def not in any situation.

you still had to ask. . .

sofeco:

Where U not the person that came here long time ago praising your lovely husband here on NL?.

Do you need sunglasses or reading glasses??

sofeco:

Where U not the person that came here long time ago praising your lovely husband here on NL?.

Gosh , I have finally concluded, some people do not need to comment on posts as they can neither read nor can they comprehend, SHM

sofeco:

Where U not the person that came here long time ago praising your lovely husband here on NL?.

Yes, I think so. She is happily married and a living confirmation of "As long as I’m ‘good’ I will be found ". Her story is indeed very inspiring.  

BTW, My Husband is still Lovely,

Too lengthy to read, Good luck however

tolutara:

See Double standards!, The same idiotic dudes that wants her to drop it like it's hot on the very first date will be looking for virgins AKA good girls when it's time to marry.

Make up your mind folks!!!!, Applaud the woman , she is only trying to do right thing.

Right about your 200th post you'll soon begin to see that NL's full of hypocritical guys who 'make the rules as they go'!

They'd frown at s3x on the first date and yet insist women are not worth 'waiting for'!

They'd be the first to condemn a woman who doesn't want to marry a poor man but then trun around and say 'I WILL NEVER MARRY A JOBLESS WOMAN'!

They will swear they treat women right but when they open their mouth to address women here, you'd wonder if they had any respect at all!

I gave on them a long time ago!

Thanks for sharing anaywayz

Ujujoan:

Right about your 200th post you'll soon begin to see that NL's full of hypocritical guys who 'make the rules as they go'!

They'd frown at s3x on the first date and yet insist women are not worth 'waiting for'!

They'd be the first to condemn a woman who doesn't want to marry a poor man but then trun around and say 'I WILL NEVER MARRY A JOBLESS WOMAN'!

They will swear they treat women right but when they open their mouth to address women here, you'd wonder if they had any respect at all!

I gave on them a long time ago!

Thanks for sharing anaywayz 

You are welcome,
The Post really was aimed at the women of NL, To encourage the single Ladies that it is OK to be you, to dream and never lower your standards for any one. Also if all women did that, just maybe the Men might appreciate us more and see us worth investing in,( we would really be the wholesome ladies that their hearts truly seek), but again the response from the men is just plain sad, IMO

tolutara:

You are welcome,
The Post really was aimed at the women of NL, To encourage the single Ladies that it is OK to be you, to dream and never lower your standards for any one. Also if all women did that, just maybe the Men might appreciate us more and see us worth investing in,( we would really be the wholesome ladies that their hearts truly seek), but again the response from the men is just plain sad, IMO

Abi?

But trust me, they only put up that front for the people they think they can intimidate. When it comes to a real woman, they know when to respect themselves.

Men generally I men, not these doofuses we have here on NL!

As a child i didnt listen to others, i believed in writing my own stories n rules, (no wonder i do stupid things now sha)

''these doofuses''
[quote][/quote]harsh

steve49ja:

After seeing this. . .

you still had to ask. . .


Do you need sunglasses or reading glasses??

But who the hell on earth could this slowpoke be?. Are you really mad or daft?  And to HELL with you for just talking to me and answering my question anyhow like that, YOU S.T.U.P.I.D FOOL.

Did I ask you a question or did you think am one of those people on NL that you can just easily abuse or use to catch tips?.
U better be warned, the poster am talking to knows what am talking about so what the f**ck is your own, this LUNATIC?.
What the f**ck are you up to dude?.

MAY YOU PERISH IN HELL FOR THAT INSULT YOU GAVE ME.

Did I told you I have a problem with my eyes?.

Or if you didn't have an idea about the question am asking, then why can't you just chill and let a matured person answer my question.

Eyah:

Yes, I think so. She is happily married and a living confirmation of "As long as I’m ‘good’ I will be found ". Her story is indeed very inspiring.  

Thanks my sister.

You have a sharp memory.

sofeco:

But who the hell on earth could this slowpoke be?. Are you really mad or daft?  And to HELL with you for just talking to me and answering my question anyhow like that, YOU silly FOOL.

Did I ask you a question or did you think am one of those people on NL that you can just easily abuse or use to catch tips?.
U better be warned, the poster am talking to knows what am talking about so what the f**ck is your own, this LUNATIC?.
What the f**ck are you up to dude?.

MAY YOU PERISH IN HELL FOR THAT INSULT YOU GAVE ME.

Did I told you I have a problem with my eyes?.

are you hurting man?

sofeco:

U better be warned, the poster am talking to knows what am talking about. . . Did I told you I have a problem with my eyes?.

Really? the poster does know what you on about? then i'm sure you didnt ''see'' below before posting

tolutara:

Gosh , I have finally concluded, some people do not need to comment on posts as they can neither read nor can they comprehend, SHM

After these I cant help but ask. . .

sofeco:

But who the hell on earth could this slowpoke be?. Are you really mad or daft? What the f**ck are you up to dude?.

. . . .and do you have problems with your eyes? 

Ujujoan:

Men generally I men, not these doofuses we have here on NL!

Is this sentence brave to you?

sofeco:

Thanks my sister.

You have a sharp memory.

Welcome! Good ones are best remembered.

@sofeco u acted lyk a boy. A gentleman dnt open mouth 2 yab lyk dat. Change ok dude?