gbeborun:

@Radiant, Karma? Please spare us, if you talk about Karma, what about the guy, maybe it's his own evil deed that finally caught up with it. If you keep saying Karma, then no one is free o!

And it goes round and round.

Uspry, did you date your Ex at all before getting married to him?

Marriage is sounding more and more miserable.

i think im lost here once again? how does some of the advice written here relate to emm

I DNT HAVE FEELIN ANYMORE FOR MY HUBBY! I CNT WAIT TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS OR MISTAKE WHATEVER IF THIS SUPERMAN IS RIGHT!

NOW  1 COULD IT BE LIKE U THOUGH HE IS NICE LOOKIN BUT NOW U REALISE HE IS UGLY TO THE POINT HE CNT TURN U ON

NUMBER 2 COULD BE HE ATTITUDE OR BAD BOY GAMES PUTTIN U OFF OR SOMETHING

NUMBER 3 JEALOUS FROM HIS FAMILY

WELL 4 OTHERS

NOW FROM THEN ON SUPERMAN CAN  BE IN THE POSITION TO SPEAK THE TRUTH AS I ALWAYS DO

NOW IM NOT TOO SURE IF COMMUNICATION GOT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS ONE AT THIS JUNCTURE HA

super super jidekwa k'iji

k now

ThiefOfHearts:

urspry, why were you ever in a relationship with such a horrid person?

re-read why i was such in a horrible relationship again? My mother forced me getting married him because of my deafness my mother do not believe deaf child can raise a baby ALONE. My mother was such worrywart, overprotective, and paranoid---not understand in deaf culture. No matter how many time I told my mother that i can raise my own child despite of my deafness.  She do not believe me. I have no choice!

It is very common to deaf people whom hearing parent had their rights to force deaf child to marry baby's father.

@Radiant

Yes, actually ex-hubby stole me from my first fiancee (4-yr high school sweetheart), ironically, my ex-fiancee dumped me for 15 yr old virgin girl upon his graduation while we already had marriage arrangement right after his graduation. I was deep heartbroken that i had not over with it. That's how then he grabbed the opportunity dating me for 3-years while i was college.

Finally at the end of my college senior year, I told bf that i want to end our relationship because I do not like his clingy, jealousy, and stingy type. I found someone else I loved very much. He was heartbroken and took revenge to get me pregnant on purpose. He thought getting married would make me to grow to love him more. That was opposite. I grew hate him because he destroyed everything I dream of having full-time job, settling down new home, etc. Reason he does not want end relationship with me, because I have my own car, place to live, and materials he saw everything that he do not have. (remember he was raised poverty in large family 4 sisters and 5 brothers)

That's how it happened!!! Even after my divorce was finalized, he still threaten me if i date new guy, he would report to the social service telling them that i was unfit mother of 2 children---he haunted me scared and low self-esteem for 8 years. Finally i have great courage myself not afraid of him anymore, JUST EXACTLY YOU SEE the movie "Woman Thou Art Loosed" made by Bishop T. D. Jakes!

You're clinically deaf?

I think you should talk to your husband before any thing

Fellow Nairalanders this lady needs an advice of what to do since their love life is death.let stop all this quations and help her out.

My advices for you is to meet God in prayers, nothing is too hard for him to do and again find out what is the proplem then solution will follow.

Be blessed

we all know that u have found a new guy, so dont play godie godie here.
if ur to leave, leave and shut the hell up.
i hate people like u that always wanna sugercoat a real ass situation.

my real people will feel me on this one

haba that was too strong now OKK

she is, Radiant

@radiant

I don't know what is the difference between clinically deaf and cultural deaf. I still struggle with both world Deaf world and Hearing world where I belong to. As of today, i never been fit in ASL socializing that insult me because they are jealous of my education and intelligent skill. Normally all deaf people's reading level are 3rd-5th graders. (ASL stands for American Sign Language)

I born hearing until age 18 months old (toddler) became deaf caused by wrong ear infection medicine that is designated for adult---my both coehlear nerve damaged. At age 3 starting preschool with deaf education including free audiology exam (hearing aids), speech therapy, and transportation that provided and sponsored by a major hospital at that time my parent were poverty (now hard-working class income). I used to be oralist cued speech until changed to sign lanuage at age 11. At age 13-22, went to deaf school residential (deaf boarding school) in Washington DC.

I am profoundly deaf with wearing  a pair of hearing aids behind the ears. Yes, I do qualified for coehlear implant by audiology---but I TURN DOWN because I am proud to be deaf that GOD CREATES ME uniquely. I do date both deaf and hearing guys, no difference.

Haba!!!! _{*sneaks out*}

Uspry, I'm sorry about that All the best in life.

haba that was too strong now OKK.

the girls mind is made up a long ago.
she is trying to bail with no guilt.


anyways, i like what i see so if u ever in Canada, give me a shout

Gal! If you are not happy, i say leave. there is no point in staying in a relationship when you are not happy. My advice, fly cause we all deserve to be happy. Nothing wron with wanting to be happy. I mean, u can't even sleep with your own man. Man, that sucks, sex is important in any relationship let alone marriage ( 4 me).   I wish u all the best whatever u decide.




Keep us ( at least me) posted 

God sort us out

Talk to your soon to be ex, and try work things out. There must be something you like about him that can nake you change your mind. If you leave now, what makes ou think the same wont happen again with someone else. Since you say you are the wrong one here, better for for you to try and make it work but if you do stay, dont make his life a misery,

@ ihujumbo

When you knew that you had no love for the guy, why did you marry him in the first place? That is deception which is bad. The truth has to be said. But what has been done, has already been done. What you need to do now is to pray to God for forgiveness for your deceit towards your guy. God would forgive you. BUT more importantly, try and see if you and him can sit down and discuss, so that you can amend things. I understand that you just used him so that you could have someone with you to keep you strong after you suffered a heartbreak. Now you want to dump the guy. Are you a christain? If you are, the bible contains much advice.

All this karma thing that people are talking about, I don't believe in it! But as a christain, there is something similar to karma. And it is in the bible. What you do unto people shall be done unto you too! And God said that he is the God that judges the sins of a person up until the 3rd and 4th generations! Its in the bible.

I don't know how much knowledge you have in the bible. There's a story in bible about a man called Issac who had two sons, Jacob and Esau. Esau was a good hunter of meat. When Issac was old, Issac told Esau to go get & prepare him nice meat. Fortunately, Jacob and Esau's mother - Rebekah, overheard the conversation between her husband (Issac) and her son (Esau). So she called Jacob and told him that his father is about to bless Esau. So Rebekah advised her Jacob to do the same as Issac had instructed Esau to do. WHen Jacob had brought meat, Rebekah helped him to prepare it. Issac was old and he could only identify Esau by touching his hairy body. So Rebekah advised Jacob to wear a clothing that was hairy. So Jacob wore the hairy cloth and brought the nice meat to Issac. Meanwhile Esau was somewhere else still preparing his own meat for his father!

Issac touched Jacob and thought that it was actually Esau. So Issac took the nice meat and then blessed Jacob. So here, Issac has been decieved by his son Jacob!!!! THIS IS THE DECEPTION. Now look at how it affected Jacob in his life! Jacob was also decieved in another unsuspecting area of his life.

Lets pause here on the story in the bible. Some people on this forum have advised you to watch out and be careful so no one decieves you just like you decieved your husband. So likewise the same, Jacob too would have been cautious but look at the unsuspecting area of his life that he was decieved!

Jacob was decieved when he wanted to get married to Rachel! WHen Jacob indicated his interest in Rachel, Rachel's father - Laban told Jacob to work for 7 years before he could marry the lady(Rachel) he loved. We all know that 7years is very long. Imagine being told to wait 7 years before you can marry the lady you love. You are not even allowed to go on a date! Talkless of touching her or possibly seeing her!

So Jacob worked for the 7years and after 7years he was decieved just like he decieved his father! He was given another lady instead of Rachel! This other lady was Leah, Rachel's senior sister! So Jacob was played! bUT Jacob protested and said he wanted Rachel but Rachel's father then told Jacob to work for another 7years before he could marry Rachel! SO he did and after another 7years (14years in total) married Rachel. You can imagine how Jacob would have felt! BUT that is just how life is!

That is why it is advised in the bible that you should do good to everyone and not treat anyone badly because God would forgive you if you ask him to but the scars of the sin you commited would still be there! There are many other stories in the bible, you can read them and see for yourself!

NOTE: Although this whole issue of deception in the house of Issac was caused by Issac himself! If you read the bible, the answer is there! BUT Jacob was also decieved by Laban( the father of Rachel and Leah) because of his little role in decieving his father!

Pray and ask God to speak to you about what you should do! God knows best so pray and he would guide your choices!

TO OTHERS
TO all you parents with children, it is very very advisable to teach your children about the word of God in the bible. Let them understand how God dealt with the people of those days. Remember, God said he changeth not! God is no respecter of persons! Even a prophet that disobeys shall be dealt with. (Read the story of the last years of Moses).

If you need advice, you can go to the church, I believe there should be a minister of God that can help you out.

Ther's a chance Ihujumbo is running away from her hubby because she's got what she wants from him already.

A thread she started suggests this https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-45649.0.html

I can bet the reactions to this thread would av bin a lot different had it been a guy, the ladies would av ripped him to shreds.
first of all its not a mistake cos she knew she did not love him at all, so what was it ,pity?
secondly, the she must av being gettin all the benefits any loving guy would give his wife, wht was she giving back in return? NOTHING
finally, whether she stays in her nightmare of a marriage or leaves, the guy will always be the victim. so wht are we talking about here? pleeeeeaaaase.

2dye4:

finally, whether she stays in her nightmare of a marriage or leaves, the guy will always be the victim. so wht are we talking about here? pleeeeeaaaase.

He won't be the first male victim of a broken marriage neither will she be the first female victim of self deceit!

@omo_onile

I think you should consider going into the counseling business, Fountain of life church can really use you, hey seriously i like your reply,its candid and straight.

tinard:

Ther's a chance Ihujumbo is running away from her hubby because she's got what she wants from him already.

A thread she started suggests this https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-45649.0.html

Thanks tiniard,the mystery is finally revealed.
The poor man will be heart broken and at the same time strapped for cash.
What a deceitful woman.

@Ihuj,

My dear stop deceiving yourself and everyone around you! Go talk to your man and let him know how you feel, it would be your first "right" decision prior to your decision to get married. I hope you are [/i]woman[i] enough.

Again stop living a lie.

tinard:

A thread she started suggests this https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-45649.0.html

lmao. . so, her aim and purpose was just to sap N250k? I even thought we were dealing with a classic gold digger.

Girl, I knew you were horrible but didn't know you sucked this much

Leave the man and start your petty bizness. Nonsense!

Radiant:

lmao. . so, her aim and purpose was just to sap N250k? I even thought we were dealing with a classic gold digger.

Girl, I knew you were horrible but didn't know you sucked this much

Leave the man and start your petty bizness. Nonsense!

she don clear her husband bank account , WOMAN Na wa ooooooooo

Before you give an advice to her put yourself in the

man's shoes and see if it hurts

if uve tried all u can to make ur marriage work to no avail, pls leave. don't suffer in silence. not for his sake and not for the kids cos if u don't love their dad like u used to, i don't c how staying with him will be beneficial to the kids.

Glamourgal:

if uve tried all u can to make your marriage work to no avail, please leave. don't suffer in silence. not for his sake and not for the kids because if u don't love their dad like u used to, i don't c how staying with him will be beneficial to the kids.

Last I checked, she didn't have kids and she never tried to make her marriage work!

Did you read the following before jumpin in with your comment?

"We've been married for two years now after dating for a year, I was heart broken when we met-- the fact is, he has been nice 2 me-- I am the one with the problem.
I am the wrong person here. -- I thought that with time, I will be able to love him for real,
The fct is, the more the days went by, the more I felt choked. I don't have a date outside if thats what u think-- I can't even make love with him-- its also affecting my getting pregnant- No kids yet".