Hi everyone,

Am not suprised this post is bringing so much bite and hate, Thats the reason why I called myself a bitch at the beginning.

Thiefof hearts
Thanks for your post.

tinard, babyosisi, sweet t and omo eko,
You all sound so much like saints, I am very sure u are no better that I am when it comes to conscience, Just search yourself properly.
onsidering the other thread I started about investing with two hundred and fifty thousand, I was only planning in case.I also made another post about starting a job with school cert, maybe you didnt see that one.
Someone said something about being cheap or ripping my husband of that amount. If I need to reap off money from him it should not be two hundred and fifty thousand I should be talking about millions.
I saved this money for two years by myself, I mean myself-- Its a small money to save in two years plus, from my upkeep money and others but I took care of the home very well.
My husband never allowed me to work or do any form of buisness, I only stay at home- do house chores, browse the internet and sleep, This I have tried to work out but to no avail and if eventually I have to be out of my home, then I should be doing something to gain income-- I am not a lazy babe,

Another about having another man-- am sorry i don't -- I don't need one-- at least not while am under a man's roof, I repeat I don't have another man, am not a sait though-- as in a virgin-- I love when am in love with all my heart body and soul-- thats me---

@ poster

No vex o, I am not able to reconcile the bold / italic statement above.
I like somebody now and later do not like the person, something triggers it or is responsible for it. Most often, when a man or a woman starts to have other relationships, we tend to want to compare the one we are with and the one we just found, thats why people are quick to go in that line of thought.

If you have been totally faithful to this man, then where does the I am not a saint come in
Married to a man, I dint see how you can remain a virgin
If we knew the whole story, we can better advise

@poster

Please if you want to leave, leave. I really do not want to know what the story is--for that is your personal business.  If you are not happy, leave.  It is better than making things worse if you guys do not have what it takes to make it work. One person can never make a relationship work---even if you choose to be a doormat.

I do not believe in suffering and smiling!

almondjoy:

@poster

Please if you want to leave, leave. I really do not want to know what the story is--for that is your personal business. If you are not happy, leave. It is better than making things worse if you guys do not have what it takes to make it work. One person can never make a relationship work---even if you choose to be a doormat.

I do not believe in suffering and smiling!

You do not just stand up and walk out of a marriage because that is what you feel like. For marriage to work it takes concerted efforts and the determination of those involved to want for it to work. You are at liberty to swing your arm to the extent of the next mans nose.
I want out, and I am out of here regardless of what any person thinks, or its impact on others Freedom is not an open cheque

Dalby:

You do not just stand up and walk out of a marriage because that is what you feel like. For marriage to work it takes concerted efforts and the determination of those involved to want for it to work. You are at liberty to swing your arm to the extent of the next mans nose.
I want out, and I am out of here regardless of what any person thinks, or its impact on others Freedom is not an open cheque

Oh Dalby, Dalby, Dalby!  My dear Edo brother.

No one is sayin' to just stand up and walk because you feel like it.  If it is not working and your life depended on it would you not walk?    Have you ever thought that a break in some relationships might make parties rekindle that lost flame? Look at what the poster is writing.  Just like if a child walked up to me and said he or she was not happy about something--I will NEVER force that child to go ahead with whatever it is.  The poster needs to dissociate herself immediately from this situation--like a separation temporarily if not finally--to clear her head of what ever she feels is strangling her in that relationship.  Sometimes getting away for a while helps. Before one person ends up dead.  This poster sounds like one frustrated and needs to get away as soon as possible before she does something she would regret out of anger and irritation.

Sometimes we fail to take a time out and evaluate whatever is going on within us.  Instead, we choose to forge ahead by force even when things are so bad.  I do not call that faith, I call it stupidity.  If you are not psychologically healthy, I think you need to remove yourself from people and go take care of your issues, period!  Religion might come in handy, but you may still need to leave that environment for whatever therapy you choose to work for you.

Before it gets to a phase where I would give up ma family I have worked so hard to put together, you know that it is really the end of the road.  Let me assure you that it is the last resort but I would!  The older a get, the more a realize how short life is. Especially if you keep attending funerals of family members.  Nobody and nothing is worth causing me sleepless nights.  Be it man, woman or child.  Yes, I care for them, but I will never be an emotional or physical hostage to anyone, includin' maself!

It is a free world and I am not in jail!  No personal feelings--just how ma liberated mind works!

_{I hope I don't have cause to prove or reveal to you someday--what a free spirited being I really am--don't really put up with sentimental bull!}

@Almondjoy

I agree with what you are saying, but I hope she has gotten to that point yet. That was why I felt the poster should have told us a little more These feelings start from somewhere and at the early stages can be nipped in the bud

Sometimes we fail to take a time out and evaluate whatever is going on within us. Instead, we choose to forge ahead by force even when things are so bad. I do not call that faith, I call it stupidity. If you are not psychologically healthy, I think you need to remove yourself from people and go take care of your issues, period! Religion might come in handy, but you may still need to leave that environment for whatever therapy you choose to work for you.

@AJ the more i get to know you the more i fallin love with you. i like the born again you. you are better and nicer this way and good you still keep your dose o common sence, wit an sanity. whenever i want to laugh i just go looking for you at work here. hope you are having a good weekend?

this lady should just up and leave and hope her 250K last longer. there is more to this than sweeping and staying on the net all day.

enjoy your relationship everyone

Josh did you travel? Aunty nko? You have been a bit scarce. Shapey is not well. She had an ectopic preggy and is recovering from surgery.

Take care you and enjoy your weekend.


@poster
This thread is stale,and you must have done whatever you wanted by now. Yes almond has said it all. Look within yourself. If you think this situation can yet be saved,pls try hard to do that. In marriage,we all (all of us) have to bend backwards for it to endure. DO some soul searching,and make sure you make a decision you will not regret.

I know we can all give any sort af advice we think or consider fit, one thing that is certain is that many of us here are not in their shoes. Another thing is that how could people who are not married accurately advise those that are?.

If you didn't love the guy why marry him in the first place?. The worst thing anyone can experience is to be married to someone who does not love him/her and pretends otherwise. Please talk to this guy gradually and with time he will condition himself to it and eventually have peace with a decision that is best best for him or you both. Guys make we watch out o, this one na another bomb o. Who wants a marriage when it can just be so manipulated?. I guess God be the Judge.

Dalby:

@Almondjoy

I agree with what you are saying, but I hope she has gotten to that point yet. That was why I felt the poster should have told us a little more These feelings start from somewhere and at the early stages can be nipped in the bud

Thanks for agreeing at least!   Sometimes you don't need to know "more", just listen to what a person is going through and let him or her do what she wants to do at the moment just to cool off. 

I have had to leave too.  I just got on a plane--out of the country for like 12 days--without telling anyone--not even the kids------- and just sat by maself and thought things over.  When I came back, things were much better--the only problem is that both ma passports have been seized and are locked in a safe deposit box--God knows where. If you drive me crazy, I will definitely run away and leave you with all the baggage! Hatchin' ma next plan.  I think I would fake being an illegal alien so I can be deported to Mexico just to get away.   The good thing that came out of it is that --all of them have learned to leave the house for me if I need it.  If not--I will definitely leave for them.  No be me them go kill ooooooooh!   I say I will leave!

RUN-A-WAY WIFE!

_{I say don't let me prove to you what I can do--A say no be for mouth ooooooooooh!}

You think say this matter na joke?

joshjosh:

@AJ the more i get to know you the more i fallin love with you. i like the born again you. you are better and nicer this way and good you still keep your dose o common sence, wit an sanity. whenever i want to laugh i just go looking for you at work here. hope you are having a good weekend?

this lady should just up and leave and hope her 250K last longer. there is more to this than sweeping and staying on the net all day.

enjoy your relationship everyone

Yes, Josh dear, I am pretty sane most of the time unless a run into some nutcase and of course, I have to prove to maself that I still have ma zeal in "agbero spitting contest" and not softening in ma "american fighting spirit" combined.  Not the best, but I like to let it out once in a while, without apologies--especially dealing with Nigerians.  Some people need to be educated that "shame" has no boundaries, espcially from someone like me who does not really give a damn or a river!

But hangin' around peeps like you always bring out the best in me and I say thank you!   I am having a wonderful weekend--work starts again Monday and I am hating the thought of it.  See you around buddy!

amsky:

Josh did you travel? Aunty nko? You have been a bit scarce. Shapey is not well. She had an ectopic preggy and is recovering from surgery.

Take care you and enjoy your weekend.


@poster
This thread is stale, and you must have done whatever you wanted by now. Yes almond has said it all. Look within yourself. If you think this situation can yet be saved,please try hard to do that. In marriage,we all (all of us) have to bend backwards for it to endure. DO some soul searching,and make sure you make a decision you will not regret.

The thread might be stale but still has relevance.  Better than starting another one like most do here, just cluttering up the whole place.  We wish "Shapey" well.  That can be a painful condition.

Rlst84sale:


I know we can all give any sort af advice we think or consider fit, one thing that is certain is that many of us here are not in their shoes.

Another thing is that how could people who are not married accurately advise those that are?.

If you didn't love the guy why marry him in the first place?. The worst thing anyone can experience is to be married to someone who does not love him/her and pretends otherwise. Please talk to this guy gradually and with time he will condition himself to it and eventually have peace with a decision that is best best for him or you both. Guys make we watch out o, this one na another bomb o. Who wants a marriage when it can just be so manipulated?. I guess God be the Judge.

Single people advising married people on Nairaland is the 20th wonder of the world.  If you have not walked in a pair of shoes, I bet your last dime you can never imagine how it feels!

You can NEVER manipulate marriage--Marriage will ALWAYS manipulate you like a car you have lost control of and cannot get it back on the right path.  Sometimes, you are totally helpless and have to draw strength from all angles including your enemies! Only by the Grace of God like you said. 

The woman says she wants to leave and you are asking her to talk to the guy gradually?   Like I always remind ma self, marriage like every thing in life is a "gamble".  And you are always a gambler.

_{Some people just don't understand!}

Playin' the chorus of one of ma very favorites "sings"!--Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler"!


You got to know when to hold em,
know when to fold em,
Know when to[b] walk away [/b]
and know when to run.

You never count you r money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

Powerful words I say.  Very powerful words--mean more to me than any thing I have read in any holy book!

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count you r money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

@poster
Look at the cards you have in your hands, and be the best gambler you can be to make you a winner, not a loser! Goodluck!


_{Every gambler knows the secret to surviving. . . . . . . . . . . .}

@Almondjoy

No offense, reading most of the replies you post here really makes one wonder what kind of mother you are and what you are instilling in your children. I read some of your responses to one poster's topic from England coupled with what you posted on this topic are really matters of concern. Have you ever thought of young people reading posts like this?. The fact that you have issues in your matrimonial home does not have to make others join suit in your arbitrary decisions. There might be some relationships that could be saved. By the way did you not write in one topic praising your husband and his unmatched skills in marriage? has something changed that quick?. If you have nothing postive to say, why not just zip it?. It certainly looks like people who marry for ulterior motives would need advisers just like you, that's why they say "birds of the same feather flocks/fly together", oops! I should have better said "Misery loves company".

Rlst84sale:

@Almondjoy

No offense, reading most of the replies you post here really makes one wonder what kind of mother you are and what you are instilling in your children.

I read some of your responses to one poster's topic from England coupled with what you posted on this topic are really matters of concern. Have you ever thought of young people reading posts like this?.


The fact that you have issues in your matrimonial home does not have to make others join suit in your arbitrary decisions.

There might be some relationships that could be saved.

By the way did you not write in one topic praising your husband and his unmatched skills in marriage? has something changed that quick?.

If you have nothing postive to say, why not just zip it?.

It certainly looks like people who marry for ulterior motives would need advisers just like you, that's why they say "birds of the same feather flocks/fly together", oops! I should have better said "Misery loves company".

The good thing is that no one of us is God!  Since you say I am unfit--God has been successfully raising them and will continue to raise them without my help! No wahala then.   They have the best baby sitter they can ever wish for---God.

Well having written all that, all a can say to you is goodluck.  The last time a checked, I still had my wedding band--not ring ooooooooooooooh, I said band.  If you know what that means. Until I cease to have it--all you can do is make your noise and question with all that you wrote up there.  Till then, I am still bonafide and sanctified!   We are not dealing with rings any more. I said BAND!

I am glad you expressed yourself extremely well concerning your sentiments about me, my children, my husband and my marriage.  You deal with yours and we shall see who finishes last in the end even where it is not a competition. Thank you also, for citing all ma previous posts to show you have been keepin' up with me on Nairaland--even where most of them have no relevance to what is being discussed here. I must be very special to you! I am very flattered.

As you already know, I do not have poor communication skills and do not get offended because of peoples opininons about me or ma posts,  unless I really hate your guts.  Frankly, you are of no consequence to ma Nairaland being. If you are looking for a cheap fight on Nairaland----I am not in the mood.  You can pick another to show your skills. Not interested--having too much of a good time right now!

On that note, it was nice meeting you on Nairaland.

Happy Sunday to you!

_{To the recycle bin--where only thrash can go!}

The good thing is that no one of us is God! Since you say I am unfit--God has been successfully raising them and will continue to raise them without my help! No wahala then. They have the best baby sitter they can ever wish for. Kiss

Well having written all that, all a can say to you is goodluck. The last time a checked, I still had my wedding band--not ring ooooooooooooooh, I said band. If you know what that means. Until I cease to have it--all you can do is make your noise and question with all that you wrote up there. Till then, I am still bonafide and sanctified! Cool We are not dealing with rings any more. I said BAND!

I am glad you expressed yourself extremely well concerning your sentiments about me, my children, my husband and my marriage. You deal with yours and we shall see who finishes last in the end even where it is not a competition. Thank you also, for citing all ma previous posts to show you have been keepin' up with me on Nairaland--even where most of them have no relevance to what is being discussed here. I must be very special to you! Kiss I am very flattered. Cool

As you already know, I do not have poor communication skills and do not get offended because of peoples opininons about me or ma posts, unless I really hate your guts. Frankly, you are of no consequence to ma Nairaland being. If you are looking for a cheap fight on Nairaland----I am not in the mood. You can pick another to show your skills. Not interested--having too much of a good time right now!

On that note, it was nice meeting you on Nairaland. Kiss

Happy Sunday to you! Kiss

@ AJ you have my standing ovation my dear sister. i don't know why seun don't charge for access to this place. talk is every getting cheaper.

@ amsky the devil is a liar. hope shapey is okay now. sorry i have been kind of busy since i came back. it is well with you guys. tell her she is in my prayers. God bless

@ Rlst84sale what exactly did AJ say that triggered that kind of vernom from a brother? why do you guys like insulting people you dont know? for goodness sake this is not fair by any standard

It certainly looks like people who marry for ulterior motives would need advisers just like you, that's why they say "birds of the same feather flocks/fly together", oops! I should have better said "Misery loves company".

. how do you live with your fabulous self with words like that?

joshjosh:

@ AJ you have my standing ovation my dear sister. i don't know why seun don't charge for access to this place. talk is every getting cheaper.

@ amsky the devil is a liar. hope shapey is okay now. sorry i have been kind of busy since i came back. it is well with you guys. tell her she is in my prayers. God bless

@ Rlst84sale what exactly did AJ say that triggered that kind of vernom from a brother? why do you guys like insulting people you don't know? for goodness sake this is not fair by any standard . how do you live with your fabulous self with words like that?

Please pay such people no mind jare. All na attention seeking disorder! Like anyone cares? Life is gooood jare! Make everyone dey type im wahala.

lol, ;d

almondjoy:

The good thing is that no one of us is God! Since you say I am unfit--God has been successfully raising them and will continue to raise them without my help! No wahala then. They have the best baby sitter they can ever wish for.

Well having written all that, all a can say to you is goodluck. The last time a checked, I still had my wedding band--not ring ooooooooooooooh, I said band. If you know what that means. Until I cease to have it--all you can do is make your noise and question with all that you wrote up there. Till then, I am still bonafide and sanctified! We are not dealing with rings any more. I said BAND!

I am glad you expressed yourself extremely well concerning your sentiments about me, my children, my husband and my marriage. You deal with yours and we shall see who finishes last in the end even where it is not a competition. Thank you also, for citing all ma previous posts to show you have been keepin' up with me on Nairaland--even where most of them have no relevance to what is being discussed here. I must be very special to you! I am very flattered.

As you already know, I do not have poor communication skills and do not get offended because of peoples opininons about me or ma posts, unless I really hate your guts. Frankly, you are of no consequence to ma Nairaland being. If you are looking for a cheap fight on Nairaland----I am not in the mood. You can pick another to show your skills. Not interested--having too much of a good time right now!

On that note, it was nice meeting you on Nairaland.

Happy Sunday to you!

_{To the recycle bin--where only thrash can go!}

Gbam! I like the way you answer posts so concisely and eloquently. You hit the hammer right on the nail. I enjoy reading your posts no be small. You reason just like me for the most part. Its just that after working so hard at work, my fingers no fit type too much again. However, you pretty much state what I am thinking too.

Oh No! You dont sound like a bitch, instead you sound like someone
who needed answers to her questions,
Fisrtly when you got married what was it like? was it interesting,
do you get to wear a smile each time he return home from work?
or do you enjoy his company each time you two are together,
If your answer to these questions are yes, then the problem is
within, firstly in the line of remedy, critically examine yourself as
a wife and look at those things a good housewife is doing that
you find difficult to do,improve in doing them and see what happen
do you give him a welcome kiss or hug each time he returns from
work,does he meets his dinner on the table when returns, do you get
to talk to each about your activities in the day on the bed before you
sleep, all these matters most in a marriage.
So my dear, if truly you were in love when it first started and not that
it was just infatuations, then you can try some of these things i stated
and if its not working you can call his attention to it that you need to know
how he's feeling about the marriage, is he enjoying it or not, from there
you know what your stand is.
But above all be prayerful .
Dont get deceived by anyone promising you heaven on earth if you come to
him, and as a matter of fact theres no heaven on earth my dear, so please
be diplomatic in all your ways.
Best of luck.
You can talk to me on bolajiolokode@yahoo.com

I am a married guy and i think am in d same shoes. Same old story - got a girlfriend pregnant and had to marry her even when i knew then she had some crazy tendencies (homicidal, manipulative,selfish) that i thought she would outgrow. Fast forward 2 years and i am going crazy and thinkin of a way out. Its like i was conned, cause i now get treated worse than a stranger in my own home ( her two sisters stay wit us),  can't remember when last i got a kiss (says she has tooth problems for 1.5 yrs!) and she miraculously started hatin sex too (maybe its the tooth problems too). I always have to beg and suffer some humiliation jus to get some (with insults). I have suggested counselling but she refused. I got fed up one day and asked for a divorce, Her mum (raised her without a father) threatened to kill me (she's from a family of soldiers) and promised that i would never see my daughter (my only source of joy) again if i went through wit it. Now They are using my daughter to blackmail me into staying put in a loveless marriage. Now i am jus livin thru everyday hatin d day i got into dis mess called marriage. What do i do? Walk away and leave my precious daughter? or stay put and commit suicide one day?

NetKamoze, just leave trust me there is nothing worse then living in a home with warring parents. To hell with her mother. Save yourself your daughter will one day know the truth. She will be happier if you leave then living in a house with parents at war.

You are not a bad person we all make mistakes but everyone deserves some happiness. That includes you

NetKamoze, just leave trust me there is nothing worse then living in a home with warring parents. To hell with her mother. Save yourself your daughter will one day know the truth. She will be happier if you leave then living in a house with parents at war. You are not a bad person we all make mistakes but everyone deserves some happiness. That includes you

@ ladyT. how did i miss you when i needed a wife? you are so 101% correct and thanks for saying it as it is. the nigerian man still has hope with people like you, AJ, adeboo, nwando, sexxyy and the other good ladies we come across here. it is like some people are addicted to torture.

these are what i call buy now pay later relationships. God help us

joshjosh:

@ ladyT. how did i miss you when i needed a wife? you are so 101% correct and thanks for saying it as it is. the nigerian man still has hope with people like you, AJ, adeboo, nwando, sexxyy and the other good ladies we come across here. it is like some people are addicted to torture.

these are what i call buy now pay later relationships. God help us

I am happy you mentioned my name as marriage material ooooooooooooooooooh!   You have made my day.

Laff wan kill me ooooooooooooooh!  "Buy now pay later relationships?

You are too funny!

Are you trying to tell us you are having regrets about "our wife"?--- J-J?

netkamoze:

I am a married guy and i think am in d same shoes. Same old story - got a girlfriend pregnant and had to marry her even when i knew then she had some crazy tendencies (homicidal, manipulative,selfish) that i thought she would outgrow. Fast forward 2 years and i am going crazy and thinkin of a way out. Its like i was conned, cause i now get treated worse than a stranger in my own home ( her two sisters stay wit us), 

can't remember when last i got a kiss (says she has tooth problems for 1.5 years!) and she miraculously started hatin sex too (maybe its the tooth problems too). I always have to beg and suffer some humiliation jus to get some (with insults). I have suggested counselling but she refused. I got fed up one day and asked for a divorce, Her mum (raised her without a father) threatened to kill me (she's from a family of soldiers) and promised that i would never see my daughter (my only source of joy)

again if i went through wit it. Now They are using my daughter to blackmail me into staying put in a loveless marriage. Now i am jus livin through everyday hatin d day i got into this mess called marriage. What do i do? Walk away and leave my precious daughter? or stay put and commit suicide one day?

In your own case, I am at a loss for what to type for once in my Nairaland life.  I do not even know what to write to you.   You have been sentenced to life imprisonment without any possiblity of parole.  It touches me that you are willing to endure all this for your daughter's sake. 

It just goes to show that men also go through this kind of torture.  Women have been through these kinds of hell for the longest time. 

A sweet bitter wind is  not only really blowing. . . . . . . . .but also in the wrong direction.  This is what they call "LIVING IN BONDAGE"!

This is one situation I can only tell you to "fast and pray"!  This one pass me I swear!

Hmmmmmmmm!  I don't know what to write at all.  For once I cannot write. . . . . . . . . IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, LEAVE!!!!

This is a very helpless situation. And you are a man. . . . . .that is the saddest part. I always would tell women to leave.  Now I cannot tell you, a man, to leave. Chai!!!!

Only because of the love you expressed for your daughter as "the only source of your joy"!  This is a heart breaker!

Gosh!  Things deey happen ooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

Ah-ah?


Personally, I can never stay in an unhappy home. Not only are they threatening to kill you--which I think they will make good on, you may never see your daughter again. If you stay, like you said--suicide may just be it--but this would separate you from your daughter you love so much too.

I think you have bought your self a one way ticket to the land of unhappiness. And you can still sleep with this woman? On what grounds?

Your case is extremely difficult, I am sorry to say. This one I have to hand over to God. Nothing more to add!

See wahala.

@ AJ. no my dear sister. i count myself favoured. i have waited this long and didn't want to jump into any wrong relationship before now. i have always known i had a responsibility to the people ahead of me to improve on whatever they did in life. marrying the wrong woman would have seriously derailed that. it has not been easy but it has been worth the wait.

life is too precious to waste on a wrong relationship my sister. marriage can make or mar you forever and should not be entered into lightly by small minded people. the pressure was high every person i know was doing it but i had better things to do with my time and life and i am very glad doing it my way

marriage is a hard work now i want to report for duty.

@Nwaka77,

thanks hon'.

joshjosh:

@ AJ. no my dear sister. i count myself favoured. i have waited this long and didn't want to jump into any wrong relationship before now. i have always known i had a responsibility to the people ahead of me to improve on whatever they did in life. marrying the wrong woman would have seriously derailed that. it has not been easy but it has been worth the wait.

life is too precious to waste on a wrong relationship my sister. marriage can make or mar you forever and should not be entered into lightly by small minded people. the pressure was high every person i know was doing it but i had better things to do with my time and life and i am very glad doing it my way

marriage is a hard work now i want to report for duty.

Yes J-J!  But nothing compares to what you encounter when you finally get inside.   You never know what you are going to get.  It is indeed one of the most difficult things to engage in, in this life.   Nothing can prepare you for what you will go through.  Nothing I say.  You just do your best and leave the rest to you know who.

Marriage is definitely not for every body.  But like I said, you can NEVER make any decision about it until you are really inside. All you see from the outside na film trick.  Like I said before, it is like a vehicle you occasionally lose control of.  Sometimes you steer it back on the right path and sometimes you head right into a ditch.  Who comes out alive is anyone's guess. Sometimes all are victims.

Hmmmmmmmmm!  Na wah!

Goodluck though. It can be done!  The rewards are many but the pains are numerous also.  Call it a "mixed blessing"!

Chei! God please o, lead us not into hellish marriage, and deliever those who already are in it.

Very pathetic story indeed and in today's world, whatever happens in a relationship, ITS' ALWAYS THE MAN'S FAULT.She never loved him,she married him and now she wants to leave him.Obviously, the man still loves her dearly and has done nothing to warrant this (If the poster supporters could read her posts more carefully).

This is why a man should NEVER give a woman 100% of himself no matter how much he loves her.Personally, i'd say love her,show her love, care for her but prepared to go back to living single the moment she starts toying with you.

My sister, i beg you in the name of God . Please you need to stick with your husband. some time you always feel like this at some point in your marriage.

But that shouldnt mean that you should walk out of your marriage and your husband.

How do you want him to feel after you must have gone.

Pls sister, think about if and pray to God to put a new love in your heart toward your husband

awww ihujumbo, i feel yr pain. u ve married for better for worst divorce is not the solution. Wat if u get married and is the other way round u love the guy and he doesnt luv u or u meet a less caring guy.

i tink u shld try nd make life worth it, enjoy yrself life is short. U shld start by luving yrself, u have hate for yrself dat is y u cant luv yr husband.

Keep yr self busy so u wont tink too much,share yr dreams wit him.make evry moment worth it watch romantic movies wit him.

beta still u tell God to do his will in yr life.

I think one main thing the man has done wrong is not to allow the poster to work and move around., so her mind is still filled with all those little girl's fantasies.

By the time she moves around and listens to the hell some women are going through in the hands of selfish and insensitive men, she would come to appreciate what she has and fall in love quick quick.

I hope it is not too late, that she has not already 'fallen in love' with one of those that will make her life a living hell.

@ poster:

I don't think walking out of your marriage is the solution here. First of all, I'll have to tell u the truth and ill be very blunt. . You are a very mean and deceitful lady. How can you marry someone that u don't love and who "most likely"loves  u.
U said he has been very nice to you and you want to repay him back with this? Why didn't u just tell him @ the point of courting that u didn't luv him enuf to get married to him. You think only of yourself here. Have u ever sat to think of how he will feel? Everything is all about YOU! YOU! YOU!. Yes, u claim your happiness is at stake here, what of his own happiness, have u thot of that. In a marriage, it's not al about one partner's  feelings but the two of them. He tried to make u happy when u were heartbroken and obviously, he fell in luv with u in the process. It wolud have been easier to tell him u didn't luv him then than to do now, after 2yrs of marriage. That said.

Secondly, i don't know your religion, but if u are a christian, u wil be aware of the fact that God hates divorce. You are the one that has been in error from the very beginning by building a foundation on deceit and lies (lies at the very altar of God when u took your wedding vows).You will be the one to remedy the situation. Go back to God in prayers and ask for his help to LOVE your HUSBAND, because i don't believe the marrage is iirredemmable.  DON'T TELL HIM YOU DON'T LOVE HIM AND U WANT OUT OF THE MARRIAGE, ITS NOT FAIR. PUT URSELF IN HIS SHOES, IF SOMEONE WHO YOU LOVED GENUINELY DID THAT TO U, HOW WILL YOU FEEL. I KNOW U HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAPPINESS IN YOUR MARRIAGE, BUT IT CAN ONLY COME BY ALLOWING GOD TO HELP YOU LOVE your SPOUSE. SEEK HIS FACE AND HE WILL DO IT.

@Almondjoy

No offense, reading most of the replies you post here really makes one wonder what kind of mother you are and what you are instilling in your children. I read some of your responses to one poster's topic from England coupled with what you posted on this topic are really matters of concern. Have you ever thought of young people reading posts like this?. The fact that you have issues in your matrimonial home does not have to make others join suit in your arbitrary decisions. There might be some relationships that could be saved. By the way did you not write in one topic praising your husband and his unmatched skills in marriage? has something changed that quick?. If you have nothing postive to say, why not just zip it?. It certainly looks like people who marry for ulterior motives would need advisers just like you, that's why they say "birds of the same feather flocks/fly together", oops! I should have better said "Misery loves company".

I totally agree with u.

Unrealistc expectations is why so many are let down during marriage. Lets not all assume Oga is to blame. Why did she get married in the first place, and what does marriage mean to you. Remember your vows and you will recognise that there never any promise of rosy life forever. Marriage just like life, comes with its ups and downs, the beauty us being able to weather the storm as a team. A good talk with your man is the best thing you can do, lay out heart and be prepared to reset your expectations

Unrealistic expectation about marriage and life in general. People should write 5 simple things they like or enviage about marriage. Most go in with fairy-tale view and soon get knocked down by reality