Need Advise - Romance - Nairaland
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Is She Playing Me?Nairalanders Pls I Need Advise Here / I Need Advise I Want To Sex Her / I Need Advise On How To Sleep With A Lady Who Is About To Marry (2) (3) (4)
| Need Advise by loyet: 12:55pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
My boyfriend was a victim to this bank layoff(sack) since october last year and till now he has not gotten a job.he is planning to travel out if job seems not to come.and seriously planning it.something happens early this year when one guy is seeking for my hand in marriage and he did everytin he can do and pursue the guy.he has not propose to me,he has not introduce me to his family member.what he told me is that when he gets job he will make everything formal and he is planning to travel outside the country.i love him but am afraid b/c i dont actually know his plan. pls i need advise.good one |
| Re: Need Advise by bigfather(m): 1:00pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
Its clear the guy wants a break for now or maybe forever. So gurlfriend you really need to use ur head. |
| Re: Need Advise by kpolli(m): 1:42pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
big father: big father, r u alrite  where exactly did she state the guy wanted a break or u r the new toaster? |
| Re: Need Advise by Onchedu(m): 2:25pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
Hmmm, Do U have a back up plan like most girls seem to these days? Tell hm expressly how U feel about all this and if he's adamant to Ur feelings get a back -up even before he leaves. Which kain nonsense him dey try do? Very suspicious behavior. |
| Re: Need Advise by daduke2k(m): 2:29pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
i aint nuffin to add buhh i must tell u that u wuldnt get ur ans today untill it gets to 11 pages. |
| Re: Need Advise by Nobody: 2:41pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
loyet: Do you wan to marry him? If no why did you allow him to 'chase' your suitor(s)? If yes then you need to insists he makes some sort of commitment before he travels. You also need to decide if you can trust him and if you really want to wait for him. Somehow I don't why you'd let a BF affect your life like that. Is he chasing your suitors as a suitor himself or as just a BF? Besides what's with his bf/marriage thing sef? Just because you are dating him doesn't mean he MUST marry you and you need to get used to that and stop letting him block your way!   |
| Re: Need Advise by loyet: 4:52pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
I love him and i want to end my life with him even despite all the circumstances.i understand how he feels.he said he will marry me but i dont know how strong his words is. am thinking he suppose to make a step ie knowing his familyand him knowing my people too.infact i dont know weda sombody is understanding me. |
| Re: Need Advise by 190: 4:57pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
^^ AOOOOOOOOO |
| Re: Need Advise by bigfather(m): 6:04pm On Jun 02, 2010 |
kpolli: Am sure u really don't know how to read and reason at all. Can u pls go tru d lady's post again and understand. Must d guy tell d babe point blank that he needs a break. There some situations where u dont need to be told off. Jst d language is enough. |
| Re: Need Advise by kpolli(m): 8:20am On Jun 03, 2010 |
loyet: now please lets all go thru this post together n see where she said he wants to end the relationship, cos big daddy talk say i no sabi english, so idiot, can u point out the place she said he was fustrated wit the relationship, ? ppl like u should be banned from being stupid |
| Re: Need Advise by Gabry(f): 8:32am On Jun 03, 2010 |
Poster, if you really want this relationship to work, you and him have to come to terms and both have to make individual sacrifices. Now, he wants to move to another country / state to get a job? Well, you need to first tell him how you feel and than ask him what does he think about the whole thing after you have explained your feelings to him. And than now you ask him if he is serious in the relationship and than let him know that you are serious and you are looking to a bright future together with him. Always let the person know whats on your mind as he has got no 6 sense and he cannot read your mind. Let him know you are serious about this matter. If he is serious the way you are, on the process of him finding a job else where and all, it would be advisable to start knwoing each other's family. Being a man, he will consider himself uselss if he doesnt have a job. If he really needs to migrate to another country because of a job, perhaps maybe you both can work out your plans to be together. Maybe he goes there first and you might want to consider moving there and get a job there after a few months? Like I said, both have to sacrifice in order to make the relationship work. |
| Re: Need Advise by bigfather(m): 9:26am On Jun 03, 2010 |
kpolli: Giving a break does not necessarilly mean a guy wants to quit a relationship. Am sure you r not reading beyond the context of the writing. Everybody has been contributing without uttering a word of insult,now you are the first person to derail the thread. Can now see why your sense of reasoning is so low and unculutred. I wonder why the thing dey pain you sef. Na you be the culprit ? |
| Re: Need Advise by 28Schweet(f): 10:02am On Jun 03, 2010 |
loyet: @ poster a couple of questions from me to you. 1. how long have you and guy been together 2. why didn't he make everything formal when he had a job previously 3. given the unpredictability of guys who travel how sure are you that 'abscense will make the heart grow fonder' 4. don't you think the fact that he's cagey about his plans, is proof positive that he's unsure of you and him, if you were 'the one' he wouldn't hesitate to tell you his goals and life plan. I married and popped two kids for a guy who travelled outside of 9ija for work, he had some girl like you waiting for him, while he played and got played  ; some may be faithful and whatever, but he's not even making promises, ayi |
| Re: Need Advise by Nobody: 10:25am On Jun 03, 2010 |
28Schweet: Maybe if he were man enough to admit he wasn't ready to settle down instead of stringing her along, she wouldn't be confused right now!  |
| Re: Need Advise by loyet: 1:39pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
I thank you all for your useful contribution. for those that are asking how long we hav known each other? i have known him for a year plus now. |
| Re: Need Advise by bigfather(m): 2:50pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
loyet: Just a yr plus ? Tot it was like 3 to 4yrs. |
| Re: Need Advise by loyet: 4:58pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
big father: |
| Re: Need Advise by deniyor: 5:44pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
This is the part I never get -> How can someone come ask for your hand in marriage when you are in a relationship. Why can't people just face one relationship at a time. If you are interested in getting married and your partner is not ready, you mutually break up and seek your pastures somewhere else, not cutting deals while still holding unto one. Your bf didn't even need to chase the guy away, you should hv urself. After all, if you weren't cutting shows already and you were already in a relationship, the other guy doesn't know you well enough to ask for your hand in marriage, maybe dating but not marriage. That aside, I know what it means to be jobless for a long while and the struggles that go with it. Your bf is not ready to marry you now. He has other things to worry abt. Whether he will ever be ready is a function of your relationship 'strengths' when things are a bit more calm and stable. Don't push it. Else LEAVE if you want to. When things are better off for him, it doesn't mean he will marry you. It just means you have a edge in having a chance to build a more stable relationship with him. It's easier for you if you are there during his trying time. If he leaves the country, your relationship has a lesser chance in ending in marriage but still a chance, and a function of the kind of relationship you have built already. Pardon me, I talk too much  . The whole point is, sit down and have a frank heart to heart talk about your concerns. If he is serious with you, you can always meet his family even if marriage is not on the table yet. You can be a part of his life at least. |
| Re: Need Advise by Africanqueen2(f): 5:57pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
This is serious, do u think he loves you? Guys can be funny sometimes, just talk to him and express for feelings and see where it will take u. |
| Re: Need Advise by bigfather(m): 6:44pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
loyet: My dear, it really makes a difference. Guys don't rush and they don't like to b rushed either. Left for me a yr plus is a bit early to start complaining abt not knowing each other's family. Jst give him some time to work things out for himself. Take it easy babe. |
| Re: Need Advise by ITgurlie(f): 9:54pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
loyet: Hmm, is there trouble in paradise. Let me ask you these: 1. How long have you two been in the relationship? 2. Do you truly love and trust him? 3. How well do you know him? 4. Are you ready to settle down with him if yes how long are you ready to wait? my dear, sometimes in life, things don't always work out the way we plan it. If you're a devoted christian, did you seek God's face before you got into your relationship? You need to know if you have a conviction about him and him about you.it's not gonna be easy but if you're meant to be it doesn't matter what he has or where he lives, what matters is what you both share LOVE  It's also important you know his plans, if it includes you. Please, do not rush him cos it could make him unstable. Just pray and believe God for a miracle cos one thing is for sure, if you're meant to be together you will no force or challenge can stop it, be of good cheer, |
| Re: Need Advise by loyet: 11:29am On Jun 04, 2010 |
He told me that he is travelling for a business not staying there permanently.that the Visa he is pursuing is a business Visa. I love him i dont wana loose him. how do i go about this.i want him to get a better job here, instead of travelling outside but the job is yet to come.somebody should just help me on this whole issue |
| Re: Need Advise by 28Schweet(f): 11:54am On Jun 04, 2010 |
it's only been a year, in to your relationship, why not let him go and do what he needs to do;for the rest of your lives; should he be the one. I can appreciate how you are feeling and how you don't want to be alone, but lady, men need to be leaders, to be relied upon, to be providers, etc. if he's unfulfulled in those spheres, trust me, he won't give you what you want or need. tell him you support him, you'll wait, and get some form of commitment from him if he's willing and then let him go do what he needs to do. |
| Re: Need Advise by uchemummy(f): 3:03pm On Jun 04, 2010 |
just be prayerful and have faith.prove to him that u love him and u cannot afford to miss him for long |
| Re: Need Advise by ITgurlie(f): 3:13pm On Jun 04, 2010 |
what will be will be, cheer up  |
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