HEseesall:



When he told me he wants to use his share for his parents, we agreed my share would be used for get a property then we start to build from there and that's what i did, i expected he knows i would use my name cos i keep the documents, now he is saying he wants his own name only not jointly, who says that pls, at least i compromised for jointly,

this is exactly where the problem started, you guys are married. ..there is no such thing as his share or your share of the proceeds. It should be our money then you as a wife will support your husband's decision to help his dad and the rest of the money can go to the project as planed . And the ultimate mistake is putting your name , in fact it is not a mistake but selfishness

LewsTherin:


I both agree and disagree with this at the same time. Wierd, huh?

From the onset, yes. She should have made it a joint filing. I believe all property bought in a marriage should be jointly owned. Heck from the start, I would mot have “shared” the money in the first place. We would have used it jointly. That's what I do in my marriage. There is no his and her money. There is only our money. May be easier for me as we run a business together but hey, that's just me.

But seeing what has come out of this decision howbeit only from her side of the story, imagine what would have happened if the property was jointly owned. From the little I know, a Nigerian man can still kick his wife out of a house they jointly own. Tradition being stronger than law here. It will be said that even though both names are on the deed, he is still the husband and head of the house and still owns the house. Lawyers would be needed to untangle the mess.

I may be wrong but that's what I understand.

Gonread the husband version of the story and finds out how cruel this woman is.

That marriage was dead the day she acquired a property solely in her name.

It was buried the day he found out and demanded she change the ownership to his alone (a simple but tricky test to see if she made an honest mistake) and she hesitated.

If madam landlady here even in the heat of the argument refused to leave that house and didnt tell the man while HE is angry that the house is in her name alone the man wouldnt have freaked out.

Madam chose house over marriage and she has won but now cant enjoy her winnings.

People should learn to prioritise correctly.

What if you guys didnt build the house at all nko?

What if (God forbid) her own parent got very sick and she has to sell that same house to treat them?

And people from broken homes are all over the place asking you not to shift position. Mtseeww!!!

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

madam we have read your husband's part of the story and I will advice you to handle this issue with wisdom (a very high percentage of it).Firstly,rule out divorce from it as he also clearly stated he won't want that.Now the ball is in your court,he's obviously a good man and you confirm that too,you kind of bruised his ego with your words and actions, you should also be aware that as a man and from your different backgrounds, you should treat and handle him with wisdom often,you can own something and still assume he's the owner and let him boss over it( there are things you can't totally change about a man),give him some sense of pride,give am small ego chop.we lived in my mums house for ten years and believe me no one ever knew till my dad got his(not even us d kids bak den)my dad had the controls,you could have just waved it off when he said you should pack out kos u knew too he didn't really mean it,never take words said out of anger serious till d person takes some practical moves.Can't you just meet him privately and beg him,tell him you will change d name to his alone to calm his nerves and I bet u he will tell u no need for DAT and u both can include ur names kos he's not a wicked man as u also confirm, then u settle d rest in za ozza room.After all dis,tell family members to calm nerves and maintain their space as u av taken charge of ur home and DAT u chose peace instead of fight. As a mother there are things you must sacrifice for the sake of ur children. pls b wise in ur dealings, don't break your home by yourself.peace.

Your husband is very greedy. Just imagine, he almost threw you and your kids out of your own house if not that you told him that you only put your name as the owner of the house. You are a very smart madam. If there is any way that you can refund the money that he contributed in building your house with you, Pls do. You guys can plan and build another house together and then both of you can have your names on the house.

[quote author=HEseesall post=69373285]

Try doing this with the kids cos obviously this ur union has more of a business undertone. Calculated love not the unconditional one that binds a man and a woman together. Cos if you look at it way down, you must deep down feel you are his Jesus' . To us men its a duty code expectation. U knew exactly what you were doing; u weren't comfortable bringing up the ownership matter cos u weren't about to let love blind you. In your mind you being smart. Nollywood has virused you. For someone who despite knowing you could on your own finance the biz ideas, decided to share the risk with you with exactly half or approx. half the amount and as equal partners in the marriage; how can you not know how he would react? Go and meet your husband at anywhere if his chosen. If you're lucky he would maintain ur taste in choosing an apartment.

My main concern is which joint business do you do, that you have even decided what to do with the money before actualizing the money... Such a huge money as you and your hubby claimed.... Or shey na money ritual, which involves sacrificing an unborn baby.. Because I don't believe in any joint business that fetch such amount of money...

dazzlingd:


Of course it is so obvious the story was well baked.

She still have issues that her husband spent money on his dad...just imagine how evil women can be, so he shouldn't treat his dying father?

2. She went behind to use her name alone for the house they both built together meaning she already had the motive things may go wrong and a day like this will come.... She's betrayed her husband's trust, she's a traitor and a pessimist. Wicked world.

3. They had some misunderstandings,....it was obvious she was hiding some facts here, biko madam should tell us what misunderstanding they had and what caused it... Well she knew she was guilty so she made no mention of that. Worst of all she had to remind him the house belong to her alone! Betrayal!!!!!

4. She knows she was wrong all along then in the concluding part of her baked story she said and I quote "he is a good man".... No woman, you don't deserve such a good man, you can have the big house to all yourself and let the man move on and marry a new wife that will make him happy.

You couldn't have said it better!!

RealTreas:
Your husband is very greedy. Just imagine, he almost threw you and your kids out of your own house if not that you told him that you only put your name as the owner of the house. You are a very smart madam. If there is any way that you can refund the money that he contributed in building your house with you, Pls do. You guys can plan and build another house together and then both of you can have your names on the house.

I'll take it that you're giving this dumb advise as you're a woman blindly supporting another woman. Did you even read the story at all? Sigh

[quote author=dingbang post=69371381]How did you manage to put your name as the owner or the house without letting him know? You are a wicked selfish


Is this how you are going to help solve the prblm..
She came here n pleaded to get her family issues resolved and this is all you could offer. U no try.

[quote author=written007 post=69574898][/quote]

My brother. God bless you for this post. Calculated love not Unconditional love like your rightly said. God help us

This is why i hate jointed account and family business.

You may want to lie to yourself but the truth remains this that your hubby is the head of the family. You and the house belongs to him if you feel he has used his own shares for his parents which I believed it was for a good course, you should have written the documents in both of your names if you feel cheated.

He would have done the same if your parents were in desperate needs too.
Download this document and work with.
Follow your hubby wherever he is and work it out.
If I were you I would write the our names. I believe marriage is not 'I's' but 'ours' and 'we'. Your husband is wrong to say let the house be written in only his name.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Madam,l just read your husband's POV, and everything you said about him is TRUE, You are a good woman and don't even think of changing the property documents to his name ONLY. Don't you ever try it,you can put his name together with yours.,and leave everything to God. He is a selfish man and a proud one .

HEseesall @op.

A lot of people confirmed that your story matches your husband's. I also noticed how you tried cover up his disgusting personality. That stated, you're a good woman. He knows this and is threatened by it and your capabilities.

You must hold your head high during this difficult time. Don't give in to blackmail by your husband as he knows you love him.

Someone made a valid point on your husband's thread and I'll try to quote: "if God forbids he dies today, the same family will come to fight you over the same property owing to their poverty mentality".

My own question to your husband which you should ask him too is "In whose name did he build the house his father lives?" Dear, don't let your husband play a fast one on you. And don't ever replace the name on your house docs with anything other than your own name. Good luck.

You didn't tell us the part where you insulted your husband's family.... Or why would he get angry to the extent telling you to pack out of your home?? I wonder the kinda words you used to push him to the wall. You're using your hands to tear your family apart. Even if you both come back together, things would never be the same. You said it yourself that your husband is a good man (which I saw on his own side of the story). The only part I'll fault him is telling you to pack out and asking you to put the property in his name alone. But you're to blame more.... What was your intention of putting the property solely in your name when you both planned it together? Is marriage supposed to be a one man show?? I'm sure you're angry with him for using "his own money" to treat his dying father. How wicked can you be? Father of your children for that matter... Did you even consider your children before disrespecting their father? Na wa for some women oh... Oya chop the house na.

dazzlingd:


Of course it is so obvious the story was well baked.

She still have issues that her husband spent money on his dad...just imagine how evil women can be, so he shouldn't treat his dying father?

2. She went behind to use her name alone for the house they both built together meaning she already had the motive things may go wrong and a day like this will come.... She's betrayed her husband's trust, she's a traitor and a pessimist. Wicked world.

3. They had some misunderstandings,....it was obvious she was hiding some facts here, biko madam should tell us what misunderstanding they had and what caused it... Well she knew she was guilty so she made no mention of that. Worst of all she had to remind him the house belong to her alone! Betrayal!!!!!

4. She knows she was wrong all along then in the concluding part of her baked story she said and I quote "he is a good man".... No woman, you don't deserve such a good man, you can have the big house to all yourself and let the man move on and marry a new wife that will make him happy.

You said it all.

[color=#006600][/color]

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Indeed, you betrayed your husband, despite the trust he have for you. Ask for apology and obey his order.

justt:
Firstly, I can see there's love in your heart for your husband as you said he's a good man and so you will want the issues on ground worked out; that's good and commendable.

You see my advice here will not be based on sentiments or on popular opinions but on the words of God. If indeed you are a Christian, please be always guided by the word.

A fundamental problem I noticed in your family from your narrative is that you are not one! A Christian home is never divided. It's already a failure that both of you have things separately - this is mine and that's is yours already pointed out that there's a problem except you're talking about bra and underwears but with properties, NO! God already made you one, don't divide yourselves with things.

Now, what should do? Well, maybe this may not be an appropriate question since there are many options as some had even suggested. The proper question should be, what would God want me to do? A major problem with believers today, including pastors, is that we only hear the word, some even preach but we don't allow it to rule or direct our lives!

I believe and will suggest you submit to your husband just as the Bible commands. "Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their OWN HUSBAND IN EVERYTHING" (Eph 5:24, NKJV, emphasis mine).

Please don't misunderstand me. I value and appreciate women and will in no way subjugate them, not even with the Holy Bible. I quoted the reference above because I believe every aspect of a believer's life should be directed by God's word.

You are just quoting Bible for them, without giving them sound advice or solutions on how to resolve the issue. Both of them should forgive each other, communicate properly and change the title deeds of the house to joint ownership of Mr & Mrs. End of story.

Pearl05:



Let's say ur husband name is mike and your name is joy, surname Philips.

You can change it to Mr. Mike and Mrs. Joy Phillips.

Does this make sense to you?

Jesusgirl92:
You didn't tell us the part where you insulted your husband's family.... Or why would he get angry to the extent telling you to pack out of your home?? I wonder the kinda words you used to push him to the wall. You're using your hands to tear your family apart. Even if you both come back together, things would never be the same. You said it yourself that your husband is a good man (which I saw on his own side of the story). The only part I'll fault him is telling you to pack out and asking you to put the property in his name alone. But you're to blame more.... What was your intention of putting the property solely in your name when you both planned it together? Is marriage supposed to be a one man show?? I'm sure you're angry with him for using "his own money" to treat his dying father. How wicked can you be? Father of your children for that matter... Did you even consider your children before disrespecting their father? Na wa for some women oh... Oya chop the house na.

Best advice so far.

peepydelano:
madam we have read your husband's part of the story and I will advice you to handle this issue with wisdom (a very high percentage of it).Firstly,rule out divorce from it as he also clearly stated he won't want that.Now the ball is in your court,he's obviously a good man and you confirm that too,you kind of bruised his ego with your words and actions, you should also be aware that as a man and from your different backgrounds, you should treat and handle him with wisdom often,you can own something and still assume he's the owner and let him boss over it( there are things you can't totally change about a man),give him some sense of pride,give am small ego chop.we lived in my mums house for ten years and believe me no one ever knew till my dad got his(not even us d kids bak den)my dad had the controls,you could have just waved it off when he said you should pack out kos u knew too he didn't really mean it,never take words said out of anger serious till d person takes some practical moves.Can't you just meet him privately and beg him,tell him you will change d name to his alone to calm his nerves and I bet u he will tell u no need for DAT and u both can include ur names kos he's not a wicked man as u also confirm, then u settle d rest in za ozza room.After all dis,tell family members to calm nerves and maintain their space as u av taken charge of ur home and DAT u chose peace instead of fight. As a mother there are things you must sacrifice for the sake of ur children. pls b wise in ur dealings, don't break your home by yourself.peace.

So much wisdom in your reply. I had to read it twice. I hope she sees this and heed to it.

vankaid:
That marriage was dead the day she acquired a property solely in her name.

It was buried the day he found out and demanded she change the ownership to his alone (a simple but tricky test to see if she made an honest mistake) and she hesitated.

If madam landlady here even in the heat of the argument refused to leave that house and didnt tell the man while HE is angry that the house is in her name alone the man wouldnt have freaked out.

Madam chose house over marriage and she has won but now cant enjoy her winnings.

People should learn to prioritise correctly.

What if you guys didnt build the house at all nko?

What if (God forbid) her own parent got very sick and she has to sell that same house to treat them?

And people from broken homes are all over the place asking you not to shift position. Mtseeww!!!

Your last paragraph na die

CanadianEnginee:
Does this make sense to you?

Perfect sense. There is even a legal precedent on this issue, in the Nigerian legal system. Any lawyer that knows his onions will advice you to do the same thing. If first names are not included, then identities cannot be determined with certainty. The man can marry another woman tomorrow, and that woman can start bearing Mrs. Philips. So when a problem arises on the property, which of the Mrs. Philips would be called up?

Jesusgirl92:
You didn't tell us the part where you insulted your husband's family.... Or why would he get angry to the extent telling you to pack out of your home?? I wonder the kinda words you used to push him to the wall. You're using your hands to tear your family apart. Even if you both come back together, things would never be the same. You said it yourself that your husband is a good man (which I saw on his own side of the story). The only part I'll fault him is telling you to pack out and asking you to put the property in his name alone. But you're to blame more.... What was your intention of putting the property solely in your name when you both planned it together? Is marriage supposed to be a one man show?? I'm sure you're angry with him for using "his own money" to treat his dying father. How wicked can you be? Father of your children for that matter... Did you even consider your children before disrespecting their father? Na wa for some women oh... Oya chop the house na.

The property he built for his parents, did he include his wife's name, since the money he used was also part of the profit? I bet the property is in his name ONLY.

Abeg, you guys should free the woman. She knows the type of man she married, and his story corroborates it.

Imagine asking her to pack out of a house he thought had both their names on the property, and she contributing the lion share.

My prayer is that they separate and the man should remarry the female counterpart of himself. Then he will really know what hell is like, since he has no single appreciation for the one he has now.

LaudableXX:

Perfect sense. There is even a legal precedent on this issue, in the Nigerian legal system. Any lawyer that knows his onions will advice you to do the same thing. If first names are not included, then identities cannot be determined with certainty. The man can marry another woman tomorrow, and that woman can start bearing Mrs. Philips. So when a problem arises on the property, which of the Mrs. Philips would be called up?

She didn't include the man's first name.

CanadianEnginee:
She didn't include the man's first name.

The poster you responded to, did so. This is what he said:

Pearl05:
Let's say ur husband name is mike and your name is joy, surname Philips.

You can change it to Mr. Mike and Mrs. Joy Phillips.

kmcutez:


The property he built for his parents, did he include his wife's name, since the money he used was also part of the profit? I bet the property is in his name ONLY.

Abeg, you guys should free the woman. She knows the type of man she married, and his story corroborates it.

Imagine asking her to park out of a house he thought had both their names on the property, and she contributing the lion share.

My prayer is that they separate and the man should remarry the female counterpart of himself. Then he will really know what hell is like, since he has no single appreciation for the one he has now.

@bolded, and u think God would answer such prayer?? Are u even thinking about the children at all?

Jesusgirl92:
@bolded, and u think God would answer such prayer?? Are u even thinking about the children at all?

Obviously, the statement was just a figure of speech. It was not meant to be interpreted literally.

kmcutez:


Obviously, the statement was just a figure of speech. It was not meant to be interpreted literally.

I pray they sort things out in the end. Because the people that'll suffer it in the end are the children.

The only advice i have for you is to "wise up". I went through some girls comments(not women) cos u will knw a married lady from d one going to shiloh every year. Don't let them tear ur family apart,can u do me just a favour?try and stylishly ask ur mum or dad d name on their properties....be it car or landed property and see if they will tell u its ur mum's name. All the girls commenting here and telling her not to change name and she should let d husband go and remarry,i hope u have one of ur brother available for her to marry. A wise lady should knw how to manage her own home,he is ur man no matter what and he deserves total submission. Now all d girls commenting here that u av done a good thing by putting ur only name as sole owner,i hope God wont scatter una affairs one day too.cos if u read d guy's side of the story,he later contributed to her wife for the project after returning from where he went to treat his dad,tell me why u collected d money from him when u know you want the house to be yours alone? All those girls will give u advises that they dare not try with their guy,let any of their husband signify if they are here that d way u treated ur husband has bn d way those girls has bn treating them in d house t. I pray for wisdom for u

syntax50:


I LOVE THIS CHIC, IS GOOD TO KNOW THAT INTELLIGENT WOMEN STILL EXIST IN THIS COUNTRY.
JAH BLESS YOU DARLING...

Amen,thanks for the compliment. God bless u too.