@chaircover -

2 wrongs don't make a right but didn't you start the cheating first?

Err, the first part of this statement contradicts the second part. What is the point of asking the question if you acknowledge that two wrongs don't make a right? Im just trying to understand.

Your wife probably found out and decided to go down the route of what a man can do . . . . . .

Furthermore, you seem to justify the wife's behaviour here - even though you said "2 wrongs don't make a right". Again, im struggling to understand?

Would you cheat on your Husband, if you found out he cheated on you?

@OP - There is nothing to sit down to discuss. You suspected, but was made to look like a fool, and even apologised. She kept her lover around her, in full view of you, playing with your kids, disrespecting you, and making an even bigger fool of you in the process.
You now have the irrefutable evidence of your suspicions. You need to get her out of the house in the first instance and let her family know what she has done. I cannot advise you to leave your wife over this issue, as there are 5 kids involved, but you need to make her pay dearly for this. Personally, if it was me, the marriage would be over. I do say personally, as i acknowledge we are all different.

@romeo4real I am hoping that this isnt getting a little personal as I dont know why the cheating question was directed at me

There is nothing personal here, and you shouldn't take it as such. I simply asked you the question based on the statements you made. Here they are again -

"2 wrongs don't make a right but didn't you start the cheating first?"
"Your wife probably found out and decided to go down the route of what a man can do . . . . . . "

People usually give advice based on their perspective, hence the question to you about infidelity. If you noticed, i also asked why you mentioned the OP's previous infidelity, and the wife's subsequent decision - especially as it clashed with your "2 wrongs " statement.

Please focus on the posters issue and don't worry too much about trying to understand mine. He is the one who needs advice right now.

I have given the OP advice - from my perspective. It is also not unusual to comment or challenge another persons opinion or response on a thread, so why you making an issue out of it?

Please osama10 junior bring my Ak47 from the room.

@Chaircover you are a woman of long memories. I am sure you studied history and graduated with first or second class upper. I wonder how you managed to uproot the poster's past threads. Keep this up!!!

@Romeo4real, i am grossly disappointed at your comments towards Chaircover yet you refused to comment on the poster's past threads . One wonders if you are taking side here. This forum supposed to be educative and not argumentative.

The Bible says if the foundation is destroyed what will the righteous do? When the poster is laying a wrong foundation in his marriage how does he want us to advise him? One of his past thread in the Romance section says he needed a Girl friend and the other one he needed to commit adultery with his old friend. All these are posted by someone that has 5 kids. Suddenly, he is complaining that his wife is cheating on him. This is the reason Chaircover mentioned two wrongs don't make a right and rightly so.

If poster can do this on the reputable Nairaland, what will you expect in his private life (no disrespect to him). My advice is to call his wife and show prove with the text messages. Call the wife's family afterward and inform them. To me, get that naughty boy arrested. As a man he should take his own decision on his wife.

Above all, he should confess and repent of his own sin because his lifestyle does not speak well. I am not in support of any woman that cheats on the husband for the reason that the husband is cheating on her.

It is hard to say, most Nigerian's culture are not against a man cheating on the wife. But it is a taboo for a woman to cheat on the husband. In my culture, the woman in question will suffer an unknown sickness and she will die if she does not confess while a man that cheats on the wife goes scot free. Some men take undue advantage of this which is unfair to the women.

@poster
confront your wife and divorce her as we can clearly "read" that she hasnt got anything for you any longer.
if divorce is against your "religion" then stay with her and accept your fate/faith.LOL!

one thing is certain, if this woman is crazy about that man there is NOTHING you can do to stop her from seeing him.
let her go and live her fairy tale as there is no point staying with a disrespectful spouse.
better be single and happy than miserable and married with a cheating spouse.

ps: i am not married so dont take my words for it.

LOL i see Chaircover has joined the undercover investigative team of NL (UCINL) welcome to the club jare

@Romeo4real, i am grossly disappointed at your comments towards Chaircover yet you refused to comment on the poster's past threads . One wonders if you are taking side here. This forum supposed to be educative and not argumentative.

Err, what are you on? Am i supposed to be trawling a poster's past threads before i respond to his current thread? I simply replied to the one i saw. Given, Chaircover recollected the OP's previous posts and subsequently did some investigations - hence her slant on the issue.
I was not aware, nor was i privy to any past posts by the OP. And there was no argument. Based on the impression i got from Chaircovers post, I simply asked a her question, to understand her PERSONAL opinion on the issue. That hardly qualifies as "disappointing" behaviour, or "argumentative".

This is really much ado about nothing.