Apparently, having a shadow is now a crime in Lagos. Last night, my sister and I were rushing to catch a bus at new garage when she decided to stop to price a pair of slippers. As experience would teach you, you are not allowed to stand in front of someone’s “market” if you are not buying anything from them.

I stood in my lane with my hands crossed across my chest when I heard, “Aunty, your shadow dey block my market.” Ehn? I turned and it was the guy selling okrika shoes on the right. I ignored him.

“Aunty, move now. Your shadow dey block my market.” At this point I was beginning to get pissed.

“Oga, I no dey stand for the front of your market. Which one be my shadow dey block your market?”

“Move to the other side, your shadow dey block my market nao.” He was beginning to sound rude and then began to approach me. This guy wan beat me or wetin?

“I can stand wherever I want. I’m not in front of your market, so please stop harassing me.” He started speaking gibberish upon nonsense, raising his voice. Lagos people wey no dey carry last had begun to tune their ears to the drama.

“Oga, no be here I go sleep. No dey talk to me anyhow.” The whole thing was so ridiculously funny because there was a whole lot of space in between the two guys. Apparently, my shadow was standing in front of his market and that is also violation of market space. Lmao.

He then turned to the guy attending to my sister and started shouting at him. “You see wetin I dey talk now? I tell you say make you no arrange your market reach this place. Now your customer shadow dey block my market.”

I was just laughing. Iru weyrey wo leleyi bayi? When I noticed he wanted to pick a fight with the other guy, I then switched to the other side to avoid unnecessary drama for him. See, people are just mad in this Lagos.

What ridiculous thing have you experienced in the market before?

Him for dey talk to ur shadow directly.