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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Kids And Mastubation. (5379 Views)
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Kids And Mastubation. by bigworld: 11:41pm On Jul 08, 2010 |
some 1 once asked me this question, and its scary ,what would you do if you come home early from work and you caught your 12 yr old daughter masturbating in the living room?this question has been haunting me for weeks.cos i am a teacher and i have first hand experience of how fast female student mature. now am really afraid of having a female child,parenting is the most difficult job ever.what would you do? |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by ice234: 1:25am On Jul 09, 2010 |
give her sex education 1 Like |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Sissy3(f): 1:29am On Jul 09, 2010 |
i will have a 'mother-daughter' talk with her if i haven't already |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Africanqueen2(f): 8:28am On Jul 09, 2010 |
Be best friends to ur daughter. . . She'll open up |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Sissy3(f): 10:12am On Jul 09, 2010 |
African_queen: i PREFER close-net mother-daughter relationship. let her go out there and have best friends dont really buy into all those "my mom is my best friend", "my daughter and I, were/are best friends" phrases |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by smartmom(f): 12:23pm On Jul 09, 2010 |
~Sissy~: And what would a 'mother-daughter' talk entail pray tell Sissy? that ought to be the pathway to making fast friends with one's kid. Bonding is powerful. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter and we consider ourselves 'special' and have a girl to girl talk often and this ranges from body talk to books and relationships(she just turned 7) ![]() |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Sissy3(f): 12:32pm On Jul 09, 2010 |
sex ed talk. the "talk" happi Bday to her |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Nobody: 12:51pm On Jul 09, 2010 |
when i was 13 my dad walked in on me masturbating lol! it was soo mortifying! i couldnt face him for weeks!! it really messed things up coz at some point he thought everytime i went out, i was out sleeping with men ![]() ![]() |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Sissy3(f): 1:13pm On Jul 09, 2010 |
nawtiichic: i cant imagine the embarrassment! |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Africanqueen2(f): 3:24pm On Jul 09, 2010 |
~Sissy~:Try it, its fun. . . She'll never want to hide anything from you |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by bawomolo(m): 8:12pm On Jul 09, 2010 |
nawtiichic: door lock and blanket to the rescue |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Sissy3(f): 11:59pm On Jul 09, 2010 |
African_queen: lai lai. she will still do. there are certain things you tell your friend that you wouldnt tell your mom and vice versa. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by mutter(f): 1:05am On Jul 10, 2010 |
masturbation is very normal even among kids of that age. All one needs to do is talk to the child about privacy when doing certain things. I guess it is still a taboo with some people. A drastic reaction can affect the child. The child needs to know that it as not done anything terrible. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Africanqueen2(f): 9:43am On Jul 10, 2010 |
~Sissy~:There are so many things I'll love to tell my mom but cos we're not close I turn to friends. So wit kids, its just how close we are to them. See my cosin is 17 now she doesn't hide anything from me but can't say a word to her mom cos she's scared of her reaction. Kids wants to look up to there mom but sometimes we scare them away. Don't push just try to be close to her as a friend, don't judge just listen. You'll see she'll tell u those things she tells her friend. Trust me when I say its fun |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Nobody: 4:32pm On Jul 10, 2010 |
@post i want my kids to be able to talk to me about everything and if i should catch my daughter mast*urbating, i would first walk away BUT later have a discussion with her, telling her that what she did wasnt wrong but that she should never do it in the sitting room ever again and to lock her bedroom doors next time. everybody experiment in some ways or another while growing up but i want to be looked upon as a friend (without forgetting the parent's respect) and let them ask me all the crazy questions on their minds rather than ask some silly brainless friends of theirs who probably has no clue. nothing should be off limit, although a mother would be better suited/prepared with a daughter and vice versa! |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Sissy3(f): 12:18am On Jul 11, 2010 |
African_queen: |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by tEsLim(m): 12:44pm On Jul 12, 2010 |
Let it be no harm in it. She'll do it and then stop it. I mean out-grow it. When she start getting the real deal atleast. That wont be my problem with my sons as long as they dont do it publicly/iuncontrollablly. There are several things to worry about than you kids masturbating. I rather have them masturbate than bring home STD. Plus kids will never tell you when infected |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by omega25red(m): 4:23pm On Jul 12, 2010 |
freaking out about sexual discovery is not the best thing to do have a talk with her assuming you know what to say or read up on puberty before you go and talk. Girls mature before boys and just because she was mastr ubating doesn't mean she will be a slut or a LovePeddler. Discovering and exploring her sexuality is a normal and natural process that both boys and girls go through it just happens that she was dumb enough to be touching herself in the living room and not in the bathroom or her bedroom |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by bawomolo(m): 4:56pm On Jul 12, 2010 |
tEsLim: what makes you think people outgrow masturbation? wake up people. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by spoilt(f): 11:58pm On Jul 13, 2010 |
MRbrownJAY: I think her mother should have that discussion with her not you. Not that a discussion is always needed. Why should 'catching' someone self servicing automatically warrant a talk? It is normal. No matter where you go to hide and get relief someone will definitely barge in , catch you and offer a talk. I tire. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Nobody: 12:08am On Jul 14, 2010 |
African_queen: lol could that be the reason girls here disrespect their mothers the minute they become teenagers? Best friend ko, husband ni. There is a reason God made her your daughter rather than your younger sibling. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Nobody: 12:43am On Jul 14, 2010 |
bawomolo: so are you saying that once people start jerking off, they never stop or outgrow that trend and would do it till the day they die?! i think you are referring to compulsive wanking. . . . . . . . but that would be another topic all together. spoilt: i dont believe that it should automatically be the mother but rather it should be the parent she is closest, more open to. . . . . . . .and that COULD be me. just because she is a daughter, doesnt mean we cant talk sexuality. what if i was a single dad then?! btw: if you caught your daughter mastu*rbating on the sitting room sofa then you HAVE to have a talk with her not because she is jerking off but because she is doing it in a such a common area of the house rather than the privacy of her own bedroom (which is what i wrote earlier). davidylan: why would you think that being open minded means losing respect?! just because we are friends doesnt mean i loose my parental authority,it just means that they can turn to me for whatever might bother them. we wouldnt go clubbing together but i would definitely be all ears and ready to give that talk/answers when needed. if you aint on a "friendly level" they wouldnt turn to you for any of these important questions. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Sissy3(f): 12:50am On Jul 14, 2010 |
African_queen: i understand what you mean. but i still prefer a close net daughter-mother relationship. not being her best friend doesn't mean i will scare her away, judge her or anything as such. i will create that close-net channel of communication where we can openly discuss and maintain an open mind. i will not expect her to share with me every tom,dikc, and harry that happens her way. no matter how close you are (as in besties) she will still hide certain stuffs from you as her mother and would prefer to share it with her bestie. you know there are certain stuffs/gists that are just better shared between two close best friends. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by spoilt(f): 2:06am On Jul 14, 2010 |
There's something a little creepy about a man discussing self-servicing with his daughter. Surely even if the man in question is a single parent there must be some positive female role models she can discuss issues with. Its already a sensitive and akward subject but if you insist go right ahead and watch her painfully cringe and wish the ground swallows her. . . . . . . . ![]() A good thing most people know not to self service in open places. Plus hopefully more people will learn to knock or clear throats before entering rooms. ![]() |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by Sissy3(f): 3:21am On Jul 14, 2010 |
spoilt: i know!. i mean its already awkward for some mother and daughter sef, talkless of father and daughter. chai! i dont want to be in such awkward lecture ![]() many fathers who are single dads and have daughters that needs the "talk" se/x and menstruation usually have their sisters, aunties, or trusted female friend do it. it'd be better if both parents are there while the lecture goes on, at least the presence of the mother will make you look up. ![]() but anyways, some daughters maybe wouldnt mind hearing the "lecture" from their father due to open communication established prior before,so whatever rocks each persons boat i guess ![]() |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by francessn: 9:37pm On Nov 08, 2014 |
I dont know what parents are turning into these days, how can a child be masturbating and you think mere talking will stop it. I remember as a child, my mum used pepper on me and that was the end. I discovered that my 5 yr old was masturbating (don't know how long its been going on) I talked to him to stop. the same day I saw him doing the same, I got very angry and gave him the flogging of his life. he continued and I kept doing same and since then he has not tried it. I monitor him from time to time; he just turned 6. I Really Thank God I wonder what I would have done if it became a very uncontrollable habit. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by kandiikane(m): 10:09am On Nov 09, 2014 |
francessn: At 5? Find out who he is spending time with. Honestly many children who are being abused tend to start being 'active' very very early. A child can accidently stumble across it but that early is questionable, please find out first, what difference will the beating make if someone is there influencing him? That someone doesn't necessarily have to be an adult. P.s, that pepper thing is just horrible and wicked. |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by desiree(f): 10:26am On Nov 09, 2014 |
francessn: A child of 5 should know nothing about sexual release or sexual pleasure unless he is being abused. All he know is that touching his pee pee feels good and that is why he keeps doing it. My 4 years old innocently touches himself and gets scared when his gets a" hard on" he comes running to me saying " my pee pee is growing". After that I had a good talk with him that the pee pee should remain in your pants and it is not a toy. Don't play with it and don't let anybody else play with it. He now understands the function of his organ. 1 Like |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by francessn: 10:20pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
desiree: okay |
Re: Kids And Mastubation. by ReLaTE(m): 4:09am On Nov 10, 2014 |
Never encourage her to continue bt discuss the negative side effect of wat she is doing wt her, find out from her how she learnt that and gv her a moral advice. |
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