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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Still Makes Me Laugh! (2195 Views)
These Signs Made Me Laugh. / This Made Me Laugh (superman Bachelor) / This Joke Made Me Laugh Till Tears (2) (3) (4)
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 10:34am On Aug 09, 2010 |
Here's another one: The Best Bet. . .! An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to th e president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?" The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square." The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?" "Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square." "Done", the elderly woman answe red. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness." "No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly 10 o'c lock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that t he president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure." The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada! |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by dani1luv: 12:49pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
ROFLMAO! So genies dnt really exist |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 9:56pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
<smiles> Nope, they never did! |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 1:45pm On Aug 16, 2010 |
Hope y'all remember the nursery rhyme . . . Mary had a little lamb?? Mary had a little lamb, Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread. |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by ElementG(m): 1:49pm On Aug 16, 2010 |
Efemena_xy: abeg efe u don start again, no kill me for here ooo |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 1:57pm On Aug 16, 2010 |
^^Lol! I'll try not too - but 'tis a nice joke Just had to share it with y'all **between 2 chunks of bread!** |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by ElementG(m): 2:02pm On Aug 16, 2010 |
abeg efe take am small small, u no dey even let vibration stop for my ribs before u crack am again |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 9:09am On Aug 17, 2010 |
Thanks Element! And here's one more for the road. . . Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and slipped into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she awakes and discovers that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Congratulations Ma'am, it was a miracle, you had twins; a boy and a girl! The babies are fine now, but they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately. Your brother came in and named them and Father O’Connor blessed them and said a prayer. The woman thinks to herself, "Oh suffering Jesus no, not moi' brother! He's a tick, clueless, eedyot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "What's my baby daughter's name then?" "Denise," says the doctor. A sense of relief swept over the new mother. "Wow, that's such a beautiful name; I guess I was wrong about my brother. I love Denise." "OK then, what's my baby son's name?" , scroll down… , "Denephew". |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by blacksta(m): 9:11am On Aug 17, 2010 |
;d |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by ayyuba: 1:48pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Wow!!! That is funny |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by StudioCFR(m): 1:58pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Thanks - my joke |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by shollypapa: 2:12pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
this is not funny enough. na waste of energy to dey type this yeye thread |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by StudioCFR(m): 2:16pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Lol |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 3:12pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Studio CFR: nor dey claim wetin nor belong to u |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by ElementG(m): 6:01pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
na true ooo stud no dey claim things wey no be ur own, u fit turn to yam ooo |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by flexystar(f): 8:57pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
studio is hard to please. Studio darling how can i please u. |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by sledge406: 9:11pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Appear in your buyday suit |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 9:50pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Elevator Humour An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother." |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by Vic2k3(m): 9:57pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Efe chop knuckle. u says u aint d queen of d jokes section must be ploke dat is broke even though the yoke is not quite obvious like an oak |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 10:01pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Lol!! Easy tiger - u go break am down 4 me pls. . . my brain nor fit decode your posting |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by Vic2k3(m): 10:13pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Its jxt a sentence full of rhymes. i was jxt saying dat u've got no female match or superior in dis section :-) :-):-):-):-) |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 10:21pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
**Blushes** Now you're embarassing me. . . But thanks for the compliment - much appreciated |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by StudioCFR(m): 10:22pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Deraillers |
Re: Still Makes Me Laugh! by EfemenaXY: 11:59pm On Aug 21, 2010 |
^^Stay on topic and make a useful comment pls. . . |
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