Please Keep my I.D, my Marriage is just Five months old, I work with a private company where my Salary is just 60k per month.

Before my wedding I had to get a loan in order to meet up with my wedding plans. and now 20k is deducted On monthly bases till August next year and am just left with 40k Monthly Salary, My Wife just concluded her Studies as a Pharmacist and she is currently doing her interns with a Government Hospital which will last for just 1 year, where they Pay her 135k per month, taking you back, I met my wife ever before she got admission into the University, I was in year two Studying Economics then, and she got admission into the same University the following year to study pharmacy, I have supported her in every means during her studying, even paid her school fees on some occasions. Back to the Matter, She now earn 135k per month, I suggested she should do some savings so dat she can open a standard pharmacy before she even go for her Youth Service, now they paid her the 1st salary which is an arias of the 3 months she has worked (135k *3) that is 405k and she send everything to her parents, when I asked her why she did dat she said because it's time for the parents to enjoy the fruits of their labor, I am currently receiving 40k per month because of the loan I got for the wedding which she's aware and pay her transport to the place of work everyday and also settling other bills in the house.

Now she had received another salary and said she's sending it to the parents again dat the Mum called her dat she need money for her younger once school fees and shes planning on sending all the 135k to the mum, we argue about it, I also reminds her of the plan of establishing her own pharmacy before because I know job is hard to get, but she refused and her response was I don't want her to help her family. She also said may be I married her because of her carrier, please what did I do Wrong?, I am in need of urgent Solution

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I ll advise you take your eyes off her salary for now and work on your own job search to get a better salary

The problem started when you borrowed to wed. It's very dangerous as a man to go into marriage when he's not that financially bouyant.

Bruv, I will advise you to overlook her salary because unlike men, women are naturally selfish enough not to care for the financial needs of their family, but themselves and their parents.

Just overlook it. You are the man of the family, you should be bothered on how to meet the needs of the family, not depending on a selfish wife who care less about the home but her parents.

Work very very hard to build yourself, if not for any reason, just work hard for your coming kids. Don't depend on her earnings to avoid insults and let downs.

Remember, you don't eat from a woman for free. It's either you pay back or you get insult, disrespect and steady nagging from her.

Goodluck Bruv.

some women sef


next time she asks you for any money tell her you sent all your salary to your own parents

Bro... your wife is not is not a Wise Woman at all!!

There is nothing wrong in a wife earning more than the Husband...

It's really unfortunate the kind of woman u have....

I Pray GOD helps you guys to Sort out yourselves....

My Wife Earns More than I do and I am the one States what The Money should be used for....

My advice - each time ur wife wants to sends all her salary to her people , add ur own salary so she can send it together . Make sure she sends all the money and thank me later .

How can you marry a woman who does not respect or recognise you as the head of the family? You better start asserting yourself or it's gonna get worse! For goodness sake she is your wife and not your gf!

Just concentrate on your own salary and keep moving better dayz are coming bro [sup][/sup]

bamvik:
My advice - each time ur wife wants to sends all her salary to her people , add ur own salary so she can send it together . Make sure she sends all the money and thank me later .

WISE ADVICE

damn little things like this make me to think of not thinking about marriage, its ok for ur wife to earn more than u, but if she is feeling u are not qualified to help her in making decisions or telling her what to do, then its a problm. just let her be as u manage what u earn to help ur family.

this is what happens when yuh village ppl finally succeed in using yuh destiny to play ludo,they say once a man marries a bad wife,even d devil leaves him alone... y would u borrow in d first place to get married?

She can help her parents, but sending the total salary to your parents is wrong.

Is obvious you can't control your wife. When getting married that's the first thing an African man should look at. Is your wife loyal? If you get married to a stubborn wife or she does anything her parents or siblings says, then you 're doom.

Loyalty very important, now I know why my cousin broke off his relationship with his lawyer gf because he saw things like this might happen in future. Mind you he's doing well.

To be honest the title is mis'eading.

Moving on. The woman is not wise at all. She shouldnt have told her husband her full salary. The man would start to see her as the breadwinner. The man should remove his eye from her salary and see this as a blessing in disguise so that he can hustle and make more money to provide for his family. He should not be looking to collect money from his wife for anything, it is a sign of weakness. This is why it isnt good to marry a man who earns less.

First fruits is of the first salary not of the first 3 arrears, she should have divided the first fruits into 3 and sent a majority, not all to her parents as custom demands. The next month when her sister needed schoolfees she should have sent a part, not all as for that. She has forgotten that internship is only a year of which most hospitals like luth will only pay you for 8 months and then you will be back to square one in the land of hunger especially for youth service when the total pay is about a 3rd of what she earns now.

She should understand that her parents will start to see her as moneybags so she should set the rules straight. I will send x thousand naira not more than 25% of her salary for her parents and any financial situation they have. 25% for her and her husband's upkeep(family) 15% for personal expenses, 10% if she is a tither and 25% in an untouchable savings account.

You clearly married a woman who is not prepared for marriage, your wife is clearly immature. For you to have advised your wife to save part of the money for future sake and she refuses to yield shows she is still a child. Also, to the lady saying she should not have disclosed her salary to her husband, that's a dangerous advise from a woman from hell.
Also, if care is not taken, your wife family especially her mother will be the beginning to problems in your marriage due to the fact that she will feed her daughter with wrong doctrines about marriage. The day we start yo learn that relationship is about partnership and forging together for one common goal, the better for us. Marriage is a commitment from two people and whatsoever they generate is for them and not for any other third party. I'm not saying parents should not be assisted, but the day we get married, any other person seeking assistance from a couple should realize that it's a privilege and not a right. My immediate family comes first, whatsoever my parents and siblings inclusive my partner's family get from me is a privilege.

Adeinfo:
You clearly married a woman who is not prepared for marriage, your wife is clearly immature. For you to have advised your wife to save part of the money for future sake and she refuses to yield shows she is still a child. Also, to the lady saying she should not have disclosed her salary to her husband, that's a dangerous advise from a woman from hell.
Also, if care is not taken, your wife family especially her mother will be the beginning to problems in your marriage due to the fact that she will feed her daughter with wrong doctrines about marriage. The day we start yo learn that relationship is about partnership and forging together for one common goal, the better for us. Marriage is a commitment from two people and whatsoever they generate is for them and not for any other third party. I'm not saying parents should not be assisted, but the day we get married, any other person seeking assistance from a couple should realize that it's a privilege and not a right. My immediate family comes first, whatsoever my parents and siblings inclusive my partner's family get from me is a privilege.

yinmu

funmisticqueen:
yinmu

How may I be of help you?

Make I still dey observe na this year I go take decide if I go put myself inside this marriage wahala

funmisticqueen:
To be honest the title is mis'eading.

Moving on. The woman is not wise at all. She shouldnt have told her husband her full salary. The man would start to see her as the breadwinner. The man should remove his eye from her salary and see this as a blessing in disguise so that he can hustle and make more money to provide for his family. He should not be looking to collect money from his wife for anything, it is a sign of weakness. This is why it isnt good to marry a man who earns less.

First fruits is of the first salary not of the first 3 arrears, she should have divided the first fruits into 3 and sent a majority, not all to her parents as custom demands. The next month when her sister needed schoolfees she should have sent a part, not all as for that. She has forgotten that internship is only a year of which most hospitals like luth will only pay you for 8 months and then you will be back to square one in the land of hunger especially for youth service when the total pay is about a 3rd of what she earns now.

She should understand that her parents will start to see her as moneybags so she should set the rules straight. I will send x thousand naira not more than 25% of her salary for her parents and any financial situation they have. 25% for her and her husband's upkeep(family) 15% for personal expenses, 10% if she is a tither and 25% in an untouchable savings account.

.. Your first paragraph should come last. You made some senses in the other paragraphs but the first paragraph is a NO. Why shouldn't she let her husband know how much she earns in total? If she had lied to him about it and he later finds out the truth, u ever thought about the distrust it will bring in the marriage?. Despite the fact she earns times three of what he earns he still pays her transport to work, he is still the breadwinner of the house. The man just wants a wife that will listen to his advice which in my opinion is the right one. Helping her family is not bad it's the right thing but not with the WHOLE SALARY. He is even advising her start up a Pharmacy! As someone rightly said the internship will be over and she might not be getting paid that much again, na den eye go clear. The man too should zero his mind away from her salary. Those people running into debt coz of a DAY WEDDING suffer it for a LIFETIME MARRIAGE. This one is learning the hard way as usual.

I bet that woman is only using the parent expenses as a concealment in order not to spend the money on her husband/children!

funmisticqueen:
To be honest the title is mis'eading.

Moving on. The woman is not wise at all. She shouldnt have told her husband her full salary. The man would start to see her as the breadwinner. The man should remove his eye from her salary and see this as a blessing in disguise so that he can hustle and make more money to provide for his family. He should not be looking to collect money from his wife for anything, it is a sign of weakness. This is why it isnt good to marry a man who earns less.

First fruits is of the first salary not of the first 3 arrears, she should have divided the first fruits into 3 and sent a majority, not all to her parents as custom demands. The next month when her sister needed schoolfees she should have sent a part, not all as for that. She has forgotten that internship is only a year of which most hospitals like luth will only pay you for 8 months and then you will be back to square one in the land of hunger especially for youth service when the total pay is about a 3rd of what she earns now.

She should understand that her parents will start to see her as moneybags so she should set the rules straight. I will send x thousand naira not more than 25% of her salary for her parents and any financial situation they have. 25% for her and her husband's upkeep(family) 15% for personal expenses, 10% if she is a tither and 25% in an untouchable savings account.

Don't try to sugar quote things baby fummi, the woman no wise at all. That's all you're trying to say isn't it.
Why is husband lamenting self, the job would only last for a while then all pressure would go back on him. He should focuss on his part.
The lady is probably one of those types that thinks the man must do everything whether she can support or not.

The good lad is just trying to help his wife save some money for the future. It's a really good opportunity.

However it would be dum of me to conclude. Maybe the sister really needed the money. Its her sister after all.. I must admit, in her shoes I too would be tempted to.

But OP was it a one time thing or is she continously going to be giving her parents everything? If that is it then you have a terrible inlaw to battle with or your woman is doing something with the money nd doesn't want you to know of it. To add, I don't see why she should keep details of her income away from her husband. (again it depends on the type of husband) but a good couple need not hide such stuff from each other.

am scared of marriage...

dude best advice leave your wife to do what she likes with her salary focus on yours and try to find a better paying job..
when it comes to women and money i try to stay off that lane

[right][/right]
My brother this is like the third faulty marriage story am reading on nairaland today. I too, don dey fear this whole marriage idea.

marvin906:
am scared of marriage...

dude best advice leave your wife to do what she likes with her salary focus on yours and try to find a better paying job..
when it comes to women and money intey to stay off that lane

Headlesschicken:
this is what happens when yuh village ppl finally succeed in using yuh destiny to play ludo,they say once a man marries a bad wife,even d devil leaves him alone... y would u borrow in d first place to get married?

that question sweet me..

Treat her the Way she treats you!!No too much talk. Don't come and kill urself for anybody.

Evercurious:



I ll advise you take your eyes off her salary for now and work on your own job search to get a better salary

Are u kidding me?

What if your wife was jobless, wouldn't you have catered for the family?
Double your hustle bro and stop counting your wife's money. Who says you can't open that pharmacy for her? Are you writing yourself off already?

Lol fake story. Y marry when ur broke

Headlesschicken:
this is what happens when yuh village ppl finally succeed in using yuh destiny to play ludo,they say once a man marries a bad wife,even d devil leaves him alone... y would u borrow in d first place to get married?

To secure his investment.lolzz.. Cant you see that he even paid her school fees?

sometimes before you get married you should ask your partner challenging questions, this brings out, how they relate to situations when it arises

dating no be only to dey press breast and yansh

kkins25:


Don't try to sugar quote things baby fummi, the woman no wise at all. That's all you're trying to say isn't it.
Why is husband lamenting self, the job would only last for a while then all pressure would go back on him. He should focuss on his part.
The lady is probably one of those types that thinks the man must do everything whether she can support or not.

The good lad is just trying to help his wife save some money for the future. It's a really good opportunity.

However it would be dum of me to conclude. Maybe the sister really needed the money. Its her sister after all.. I must admit, in her shoes I too would be tempted to.

But OP was it a one time thing or is she continously going to be giving her parents everything? If that is it then you have a terrible inlaw to battle with or your woman is doing something with the money nd doesn't want you to know of it. To add, I don't see why she should keep details of her income away from her husband. (again it depends on the type of husband) but a good couple need not hide such stuff from each other.

i agree. But the man should takes his eyes off the woman's salary

JhimmySpark:
.. Your first paragraph should come last. You made some senses in the other paragraphs but the first paragraph is a NO. Why shouldn't she let her husband know how much she earns in total? If she had lied to him about it and he later finds out the truth, u ever thought about the distrust it will bring in the marriage?. Despite the fact she earns times three of what he earns he still pays her transport to work, he is still the breadwinner of the house. The man just wants a wife that will listen to his advice which in my opinion is the right one. Helping her family is not bad it's the right thing but not with the WHOLE SALARY. He is even advising her start up a Pharmacy! As someone rightly said the internship will be over and she might not be getting paid that much again, na den eye go clear. The man too should zero his mind away from her salary. Those people running into debt coz of a DAY WEDDING suffer it for a LIFETIME MARRIAGE. This one is learning the hard way as usual.

all you said made sense except the advice part. His wife is an individual, not his property. Although his advice is sensible, she can choose to listen or not. She is free to make her own decisions, judgments and mistakes and so is the husband. If he wants someone who will always listen to his advice, he should get a robot