This philosophy is what has got UK into the state of lawlessness that exists now.

With all their "lawlessness", they can hold elections without people dying and their prime minister is not a robber.

@dupebaby: I'm so sorry about that. It's a pity that your parents happen to be ignorant savages. It's so sad.

My children are going to be disciplined. They are going to know the difference between right and wrong; they are going to have integrity, common sense, and dedication to their dreams. And they will not be beaten at all.

Do you live on the streets of UK?

Have you been accosted by 10 year olds

or by gangs of teenage girls

or seen them having it off on the train in front of you?

ability to hold an elelction and lawlessness on the streets are two different issues, do not get it muddled up.

The kids in the UK are a law onto themselves and fear no one becuase they have been brought up to realise there is NO consequence to thier actions.

Beating isn't the ultimate punishment, Like i said earlier, my dad das never whooped me like you would a horse in the race, but he has corrected me with lots of punishment, you'd prefer been beaten to. Just that the act of lashing out appears too aggressive in nature, he'd afterwards, make sure you understand why you had to be punished and corrected.

I'd prefer that philosophy to whooping my kids, it somehow doesn't look right to me, note, ''to me''

But if my hubby feels thats the best way he can correct a child, i'd only try my best to make him see otherwise. But NONEOTHER dare lash out at my kids.(either by slapping, knocking, hitting, or canning). _{temi ni yen o}

hey

is chokin ur child legal in the US, because i think i got choked once while in highschool

well not now am an adult

dupebaby:

well, for me, i still get beatin by my dad, u know, those old school father that doesn't understand what it felt 2 be a teenager in america, well the worst one so far was when, i don't want 2 go 2 my middle school graduation, so i told my parent that the school ran out of money so we are not havin one that year, welll, let me cut the story short, the beatin was on unimaginable,my parents take turns,  i slept in the hospital for 4 dayz, , that was a day i don't even want 2 live, 2 sec of [color=#770077][/color]

thats wat u call abuse sorry

My dad used to beat me, up to when I was 18, he's use fists, cane, steel cable, table legs, once, even slammed a complete dining chair down across my shoulders.

Or, he'd stamp on me, slam me against the walls - neighbours could hear the racket 3 blocks away, and nicknamed him, "the panelbeater". But, it's all in the past, right now, he's filling a hole in the ground.

And, he busted 2 of my ribs, by stamping on my chest, when I was 13. I can still remember the sound they made as they broke, and the excruciating pain.

I can also remember the look on my dad's face as I looked up at him - he looked like a savage gorilla.

No way would I beat my kids. Folk do confuse issues though - a little corrective smack probably won't do any harm, a beating, however is different.

i agree with u vieira i live in uk also and the kids are damn too rude

Siena:

My dad used to beat me, up to when I was 18, he's use fists, cane, steel cable, table legs, once, even slammed a complete dining chair down across my shoulders.

Or, he'd stamp on me, slam me against the walls - neighbours could hear the racket 3 blocks away, and nicknamed him, "the panelbeater". But, it's all in the past, right now, he's filling a hole in the ground.

Siena:

And, he busted 2 of my ribs, by stamping on my chest, when I was 13. I can still remember the sound they made as they broke, and the excruciating pain.

I can also remember the look on my dad's face as I looked up at him - he looked like a savage gorilla.
No way would I beat my kids. Folk do confuse issues though - a little corrective smack probably won't do any harm, a beating, however is different.

My God!  This sounds outrightly abusive. Does not sound like much love lost btween you guys!  All this force to correct a minor child?  What offences did you comit for crying out loud   And your mother just watched? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!  Is that how you built all those muscles??

@poster
My father ^{--LOVE YOU DAD!!! ---} liked that rubbery, flexible "willow" cane.  If we were "bad" according to him, he did not hesitate to use it.  But I like the fact that he asked us to choose between your palms and your buttocks to receive your rewards---so no scarring and unnecessary mutilations.  He never used his hands.  My mother was a gem   Never hit any of us--- just did not believe in that--Thank God!!!!!!   _{LOVE YOU MOM!!!!!!}

As a kid, my mum beat the shit out of me on a regular basis. If a mug fell to the ground and broke, I got beating, If she called me and for any reason I didnt respond, I got beating, She finds me playing outside with the kids in the neighbourhood, more beating, She misplaces her money or watever, I get beating, I get a bad grade, I get beating, and it just goes on. One time she even threw bottles at me. Her weapons of choice included Copper wire, belts (the head), Sticks, pots and anything in the visinity. And the scary part was that although I had two other sisters, I was the only person that was being assaulted. My dad always tried to explain it away _{(its for your own good.)}. I still hate my mum even today.
I saw a shrink in London and New York and both said I needed to confront my past, but that is a place I do not want to visit.

I will discipline my Kids, but I will never abuse them.

Esss:

As a kid, my mum beat the shit out of me on a regular basis. If a mug fell to the ground and broke, I got beating, If she called me and for any reason I didnt respond, I got beating, She finds me playing outside with the kids in the neighbourhood, more beating, She misplaces her money or watever, I get beating, I get a bad grade, I get beating, and it just goes on. One time she even threw bottles at me. Her weapons of choice included Copper wire, belts (the head), Sticks, pots and anything in the visinity. And the scary part was that although I had two other sisters, I was the only person that was being assaulted. My dad always tried to explain it away _{(its for your own good.)}. I still hate my mum even today.
I saw a shrink in London and New York and both said I needed to confront my past, but that is a place I do not want to visit.

I will discipline my Kids, but I will never abuse them.

pele

Esss:

As a kid, my mum beat the shit out of me on a regular basis. If a mug fell to the ground and broke, I got beating, If she called me and for any reason I didnt respond, I got beating, She finds me playing outside with the kids in the neighbourhood, more beating, She misplaces her money or watever, I get beating, I get a bad grade, I get beating, and it just goes on. One time she even threw bottles at me. Her weapons of choice included Copper wire, belts (the head), Sticks, pots and anything in the visinity. And the scary part was that although I had two other sisters, I was the only person that was being assaulted. My dad always tried to explain it away _{(its for your own good.)}. I still hate my mum even today.
I saw a shrink in London and New York and both said I needed to confront my past, but that is a place I do not want to visit.

I will discipline my Kids, but I will never abuse them.

Na wah oh!  You sure this is your mother?   We have some really frustrated parents here oh!  This is sheer abuse!   Maybe you reminded her too much of something "unpleasant".   There is usually a strong bond between a son and a mother. No wonder we have a lot of angry Nairalanders----too much hatred from too much beatings!!!!  

Esss darling, please see the therapist and visit and confront that past, so you can move ahead. It is usually the case that men who do not love their mothers end up not valuing women. So please take care of this hurt before it consumes your family. I hope you have an understanding partner! Na wah oh!

Esss:

As a kid, my mum beat the shit out of me on a regular basis. If a mug fell to the ground and broke, I got beating, If she called me and for any reason I didnt respond, I got beating, She finds me playing outside with the kids in the neighbourhood, more beating, She misplaces her money or watever, I get beating, I get a bad grade, I get beating, and it just goes on. One time she even threw bottles at me. Her weapons of choice included Copper wire, belts (the head), Sticks, pots and anything in the visinity. And the scary part was that although I had two other sisters, I was the only person that was being assaulted. My dad always tried to explain it away _{(its for your own good.)}. I still hate my mum even today.
I saw a shrink in London and New York and both said I needed to confront my past, but that is a place I do not want to visit.

I will discipline my Kids, but I will never abuse them.

shioooooooooo , you must have been an onye ishi ike and please before hating on mom, ask people if you were unbearably stubborn

@ Militia: There wasn't much my mom could do but cry, and beg my dad to stop.

The beating could be for anything from playing outside with my neighbours kids, to getting a low grade at school.

Still, all in the past. I'm not bitter, and I actually forgave him before it was too late, back in '90. He died in'91, so I'm glad I didn't lose the opportunity.

The beatings stopped when I was about 18, I guess I was too big for him to attack then, besides, I'd become immune to pain at this point.

Siena:

@ Militia: There wasn't much my mom could do but cry, and beg my dad to stop.

The beating could be for anything from playing outside with my neighbours kids, to getting a low grade at school.

Still, all in the past. I'm not bitter, and I actually forgave him before it was too late, back in '90. He died in'91, so I'm glad I didn't lose the opportunity.

The beatings stopped when I was about 18, I guess I was too big for him to attack then, besides, I'd become immune to pain at this point.

Siena, you are such a sweetheart!!!  You are still so gentle and considerate after all this. People like Esss haven't recovered!  Thank God for your gentle soul!  Nigerian parents can be something else oh!  Thank God for the ones I had!  Okay, even if we leave the father---because he is prone to aggression as a man ------ what of women who pour out frustrations on their children after labouring to bring them into the world  Na wah oh!!!!! In Nigeria, woman are helpless in defending themselves not to talk of defending their children.  I am happy you made peace with your dad before he passed on!  You are wonderful! Keep up the good spirit!!!!

That is why I say forget it--- I can never hit my kids,  Once in a while--- a little nudge or shove here and there but outright beating----no way!!!  America does not even tolerate that ----- because of Psycho parents that cannot control themselves!!! Do you know how many children have died in the hands of their parents because of cruel beatings Others are emotionally scarred for life!!!  It is a shame oh!

That is why I always stress that Nigerian Educational System is funky!  All you learn is how to "cram" some "handouts" and "spit" it back in 20-40 fullscap sheets of paper.  No one ever sits you down and explain to you quietly how to relate with fellow human beings.  Here, it is part of your curriculum.  That is why most Nigerians do not fit properly in the outside world because they have not learned to manage aggression or have become too angry to live normally---since that is all they learned at home. SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT---BEATINGS BEATINGS BEATINGS!!!!  I say na wah oh!

na wah oh see stories and i thought i had it bad

@esss and @ siena Ndo oh

if my mum or dad had done what you guys described above to me

would prolly be dead by now! dont get me wrong i was flogged too oh

but not as hard as what am reading !

Cheers, ladies. Still, most folk these days are quick to blame their upbringing for their behaviour. But, we're all responsible for our own actions, from the age we were able to differentiate right from wrong.

If I'd gone off the rails, I wouldn't have blamed my dad, I'd blame myself. Besides, when I used to get beaten by the old man, it made me all the more determined not to inflict the same treatment on my kids, or anyone else for that matter.

Did I hate him? No. Most of the time, I didn't LIKE him, but that's about all. Hate is a very negative emotion, and I've got too much living to do, to allow myself to become consumed by bitterness. I'd rather be indifferent to him, rather than hate his guts.

@ Esss: I'm really sorry about your problems, sounds like you had a bad time, hopefully you'll resolve things while you have the chance. I can't imagine my mom being the beater, she was so gentle! Please, try to forgive her. Remember, you only have ONE mom, anyone could be your dad. As the Igbo folk say, "Nneka".

Mother is supreme.

Siena:

Cheers, ladies. Still, most folk these days are quick to blame their upbringing for their behaviour. But, we're all responsible for our own actions, from the age we were able to differentiate right from wrong.

If I'd gone off the rails, I wouldn't have blamed my dad, I'd blame myself. Besides, when I used to get beaten by the old man, it made me all the more determined not to inflict the same treatment on my kids, or anyone else for that matter.

Did I hate him? No. Most of the time, I didn't LIKE him, but that's about all. Hate is a very negative emotion, and I've got too much living to do, to allow myself to become consumed by bitterness. I'd rather be indifferent to him, rather than hate his guts.

@ Esss: I'm really sorry about your problems, sounds like you had a bad time, hopefully you'll resolve things while you have the chance. I can't imagine my mom being the beater, she was so gentle! Please, try to forgive her. Remember, you only have ONE mom, anyone could be your dad. As the Igbo folk say, "Nneka".

Mother is supreme.

_{Kai--biting my fingers to the bone---------I wish I was not married!!!!-------Well, it is well!!!! ----God know why/how I missed Siena------Kai-----Still biting my nails till I see the bones--------- See better man heh-------chanting---- GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!! GET BEHIND ME SATAN I SAY OH---  I SAY GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!! THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME!!!}

MILITIA:


_{Kai--biting my fingers to the bone---------I wish I was not married!!!!-------Well, it is well!!!! ----God know why/how I missed Siena------Kai-----Still biting my nails till I see the bones--------- See better man heh-------chanting---- GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!! GET BEHIND ME SATAN I SAY OH--- I SAY GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!! THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME!!!}

" " LMAO pure drama!

I really got beaten when i was much younger i guess i was so naughty then.

i must say, siena's story really disturbed me, but I think Militia has just about covered every angle on that issue.

I'd like to add, however, siena, your dad was also  a product of his own environment: ie to understand why he acted like that, you'd probably have to research his own background ,upbringing, and history. i can just imagine the pain your mom went through, having to watch all this. i did know a guy whose dad was very abusive almost in the way you described, when I was young, but I dont think it was you ( you're igbo, right? I doubt this boy was igbo).

Its really not good when a child wonders why his parent (s) dont love him. I mean,  a child should not have to search for signs of a parent's love.

anyway, its all in the past now- what's done is done. the future is yours. emotional wounds dont heal easily, but the key here is forgiveness, both for your dad and for yourself.

I can count the number of times my parent raise there hands to beat me .But talk of counselling and feeding you with word of God they are always there .Thank God for the legacy left behind

@ Tpia: Aye, my old man MUST have gone through some terrible things to act the way he did, at least, those were the excuses I used to make for him in my mind. I went through hell too as a kid, but I certainly didn't turn out the way he did.

Still, folk react differently to unpleasant events in their lives, perhaps I was stronger? We'll never know. But, all in the past now, I only hope his soul's at peace.

Siena:

@ Tpia: Aye, my old man MUST have gone through some terrible things to act the way he did, at least, those were the excuses I used to make for him in my mind. I went through hell too as a kid, but I certainly didn't turn out the way he did.

Still, folk react differently to unpleasant events in their lives, perhaps I was stronger? We'll never know. But, all in the past now, I only hope his soul's at peace.

not necessarily stronger, but maybe different  ( from him). Different environment than his, different nature.

well, glad to know you're okay now. The story just disturbed me.

beating u mean ass whipping, in my teen years YES OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, enough , not any more sha, big man don land,

Heh! Heh! Heh! Na so we see am oh!

Gosh!

MP007:

beating u mean ass whipping, in my teen years YES OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, enough , not any more sha, big man don land,

abeg make u go chuck , who dash u big man my guy ur never to old for a beating

beatings? hell no!

dirty slaps(igbaju olo yi)? oh yeah got a lot of that.i fainted once.

@Siena, I can relate totally with your situation, I got beat so bad I can't not even begin to explain. I get beat with water hose, head slammed against the wall, punches, koboko, up till today I still have the marks all over my back of the beatings I got from my "dad".
I remember those nights when NEPA has taken light and all you hear is my scream for help but the neighbors just pretend like they can't hear me.
When I was in SS1 i got beat so bad I had to run away, I was really comtemplating killing myself but didn't have the guts too. I lived with my aunt temporarily then I was forced to go back home, quote from an elderly uncle "beating doesn't kill a kid", The beatings stopped for a month or so then it resumed, then at the age of 17 I ran away again and never went back.
For 13yrs I didn't talk to my dad but I forgave during ministration service couple of year ago.

@ the poster, to name the worst one? It's just too numerous to mention !

@ SIENA, I REALLY FEEL FOR U OOOO, BUT NOT TO WORRY, U AV OVERCOME IT, ITS BEEN A VERY LONG TIME SINCE I WAS BEATING, I THINK MY DAD BEAT ME LAST WHEN I WAS 9 YEARS OLD, HE WAS HELPING WITH MY HOMEWORK ON MATHEMATICS, AND I HATE MATHS  WITH A PASSION, THATS Y I DIDNT STUDY ANYTHING RELATED WITH D SCIENCES, WELL, I CAN REMEMBER VIVIDLY THAT NIGHT, N/LANDERS , U KNOW WAT, AS MY DAD WANTED TO RAISE HIS HAND TO BEAT ME, HIS ARM GOT DISLOCATED, I WAS JUST CRYING   , SINCE THEN MY DAD NEVER RAISED HIS HAND TO BEAT ANY OF US AGAIN, MAYB COS HE WAS D ONLY ONE TAKING CARE OF US, COS MY MUMS LATE, BUT MY DAD IS D MOST WONDERFUL DAD I WOULD ALWZ LOVE TO HAVE, SINCE THEN, WHENEVER WE WRONG HIM, HE WOULD JUST CALL US AND ADVICE,