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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! (28578 Views)
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Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Pavore9: 5:32pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
DonroxyII: Which one be psychoskanskan? ![]() You're right the boy is likely going to grow up with a sense of entitlement. |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by JennyOfOldstones(f): 5:32pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
gabazin080:Please don't do this to that poor girl, she'll grow up feeling unlovable because she believes her Dad doesn't love her and this would ruin all her future relationships with men. I'm speaking from experience. She's going to pursue men a lot trying to find the love you didn't give her and this would even make her susceptible to abusive relationships. Make a conscious effort to spend time with her, take your girls out more frequently. Those girls would probably be the ones to take care of you when you're old and not the boy because of either of these two reasons 1) You're creating a sense of entitlement in him which would make him likely to pass off the task to his sisters because he feels it's beneath him as a man and it should be his sisters' duty as women. 2) Your Son might marry an intolerant woman who wouldn't want her husband sharing his resources with you or wouldn't want you to stay in her home. Buy similar gifts for all of them and in equal quantities when you go out. Never call any of them to give them any gifts or advantage secretly because the others will always find out. Children are not stupid and are more observant than you think. Finally, pray to God to teach you how to be a better parent to your children. 11 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 5:33pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
gabazin080: U just have a psychological problem. U can only iron it out in ur head. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by enemyofprogress: 5:35pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
chara019:come am I not going to eat tonight? You're here dabbling to other people's problems while I'm hungry |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by yvelchstores(f): 5:35pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
enemyofprogress:lol. Yes I don born. I don marry. Abeg change that Ur name 2 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by willoski(m): 5:36pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
First things first, you have a complex problem. You like the boy because he looks like you and he's smart, then you like the other girl because she looks like your mother. You are apparently telling us that your wife is not good looking neither is she intelligent and that your family is more good looking and intelligent than that of your wive's. So treat that one first before you come to the public to ask for help 8 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 5:44pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
gabazin080: I don't like topics like this cause at my age I still find it difficult to understand why parents still do this. I'm trying to build a relationship with my mom now because we were never close during my formative years. My mom loves,likes,adores my elder brother than all of us including my dad. I don't blame her cause she lost her first son 3days after birth (after her in-laws humiliated her for the first 2yrs of marriage). After she gave birth again to my elder brother everything changed. my mum didn't hide the fact that she loves my brother more, infact I was the most "hated" child cause I was stubborn, difficult and fearless. So I suffered more. I got all the love from my dad(he calls me his mother cause I look like her). I don't even love my mum as I do my dad. I can't begin to explain how I saw my mum but just know you're creating issues amongst your kids and you won't be able to put out the "fire" later. Siblings rivalry is not something you will want to settle trust me. My mum is treating to correct her errors with me but I don't see it as normal,I told her she has always made me feel like I wasn't part of the family but my dad's love covered for her and I didn't grow up a bitter child neither did I lose my self esteem. Get to work with your kids and love them equally (it's a mind thing). 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by chiboy1116: 5:44pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
funmisticqueen:it's impossible to love everyone equally ,but keep it to your self , it shouldn't be obvious. 1 Like |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by chara019: 5:45pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
enemyofprogress:who is you? if i feed enemyofprogress,na im be say my own don finish na,find another person.I rebuke you. 1 Like |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 5:45pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
MissRaine69:it's like that everywhere madam. It's not possible to love them equally maybe for men sha. Even God doesn't love us all equally. So it has been and so shall it be till eternity. We can't love kids equally Op stop disturbing yourself on that. |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by kelechiodo(m): 5:47pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
gabazin080:Start with this: while shopping, take them one after the other. If u take the first one to shopping today, next time take one of the twins, next time the second twin. Most importantly, make justice and fair play your watchword. When they quarrel, blame the right person and sympathize with the victim. Always hug them individually and always emphasis that u love them. Let peace reign in your home brother 4 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by BarrElChapo(m): 5:48pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
Eehya sorry my elder mana esabelu ahu. Jee godu saa ahu Offpoint: |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by enemyofprogress: 5:49pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
chara019:ok borrow me your pant |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by chara019: 5:50pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
enemyofprogress:winch I don't wear pant. |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by enemyofprogress: 5:52pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
chara019:OK come make we do that thing wey we do for latrine that day |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Offpoint: 5:55pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
BarrElChapo:ana m asi gi nnoo 1 Like |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Daeylar(f): 6:01pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
This is why I prefer that instead of shouting that people should get married and have kids they should teach people how to actually raise kids and remind them that that children aren't dolls Wicked Narcissistic parent. ![]() You put a child above your wife. ![]() You love the child more than all your kids all because he resembles you 100% ![]() narcissism at it's finest. ![]() I pity him the day you notice anything that makes him stop resembling you 100%, he will hear it from you. Not only that you like him because he is a boy? ![]() Then you love one twin girl because she resembles your late mum? ![]() ![]() Your narcissism no dey hide sef. Instead of you to consider how you are going to wreck the lives of the children you're raising with this your attitude. You have refused, using the stupid excuse that you can't pretend. It's all about you abi? ![]() Your twin girls will grow to hate and despise you, most especially the one you love the least. That is, if they don't hate you already. You love your first son and the girl because they are very smart. The other girl is very what now? ![]() Try and love your kids for them. Not because they resemble you 100%, Not because they resemble your late mum, not because they are very smart, just for the fact that they are your children and you brought them to this world, treat them equally, help them. And try and Get help for your narcissism [s] gabazin080:[/s] gabazin080: Wicked man ![]() 22 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Deicide: 6:01pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
dominique:The reason the op gave were very shallow ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Kokaine(m): 6:02pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
MissRaine69:honestly till date my siblings don't like me because they feel my parents liked me more. 2 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 6:03pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
gabazin080: Try to love the one you love less not because of her, but because you are who you are and you brought her to this world. Don't make her feel you hate her for no just cause. You might end up regretting it and it will also affect her disposition towards her siblings. |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by byinks(f): 6:05pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
gabazin080: Shame on you. Maya Angelou already pronounced judgement on your type.. " You'll only ever be happy as your least loved child" 2 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by themonk(m): 6:05pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
androidroot:Are you sure OP is not your father? ![]() |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by TrueHeart365(m): 6:09pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
@gabazin080 please try this trick. My dad used to take all of 3 of us out and would buy everything equally for us. As we grew up he changed it to monthly stipends of 20k each. It brought us closer and made us corporate more cos we felt we were treated equally. It was at mature age we realized my dad loved my elder brother and younger sister more. But it doesn't change anything. It would've affected us if we realized it when we were younger. Try to treat them equally. Try to hide the ones you'll do special for sometimes 3 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by MissRaine69(f): 6:12pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
Foodforthought:Or you could have just continued to scroll instead of masquerading as a comment monitor. It’s that simple. |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Mpanyi: 6:12pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
My take is you are a partial human being. Believe it or not I love everybody in my house equally, ve it a house help or my kids. It is unthinkable for me to love anyone less. 7 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Mizwisdom(f): 6:12pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
Biscuits: Contrary to your opinion, he's not a representation of African men. How come my own father loved me and my sister more than my brothers? he said and did things that made us know it. Pips chose reasons to love or hate, sometimes I think they are excuses. I have a bro that obviously likes his first born a lot (female) because she's the first sometimes I call him out on this. It's glaring and unfair so pips just pick various reasons. I pray parent learn to at least treat all equally despite having a favorite 2 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by MrHighSea: 6:14pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
UyaiIncomparabl:U r a Mum? 1 Like |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Mariangeles(f): 6:14pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
gabazin080:I cry for your kids ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 6:15pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
gabazin080:@bolded ,this is the beginning of segregation among your children. Gender bias is your problem and no one can fix it except you. Its a thing of the mind.In your subconscious, you have already rated the male gender above the other ,and also probably love your mum more than your wife, and now it is manifesting in how you treat your children to the extent that even they will notice. I hope it doesn't get to the kind of sibling rivalry I have seen . Its not a sight you want to witness as a parent when you are old. 2 Likes |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by demelza: 6:15pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
Op don't mind all these posters. You are doing the right thing just continue. Leave the "dull" child alone, after all she took after her mother. Na for old age you go see result of this terrible seed you are sowing. ![]() ![]() By that time, you will be too weak and powerless to do anything. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by MissRaine69(f): 6:16pm On Jan 07, 2019 |
IntrovertedK:Just because you advocate shyte parenting that does not make it universal. EVEN if it’s widespread good parents try to be impartial instead of trying to justify how the children are being treated. 1 Like |
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