Dear Op,

Nobody is perfect, we all sin differently. However trust broken is almost irreparable but it can be managed when the offender makes huge sacrifices.

You have been caught cheating on more than one occasion...my dear the only thing you can do to regain his trust is to stay away from all male friends, fvcc that friendzone bs, just stay away from any male who is not related by blood to you. Stop being friendly to other guys. That is the sacrifice you will have to make for life in order to be happy with Gbenga. No male (who is not family) should even call to ask how you are doing. If you can't make this sacrifice, then forget the relationship, it will be a miserable one for both of you.

However....

If you can't make that sacrifice and have to break up with him, And to reduce his heart break, ie if you still care for Gbenga, make sure he begins dating someone else before you do and please don't date Olamide or any of the guys you have previously cheated on him with!

You both deserve to be happy.

Btw: I would love to ask more questions about you and him

Yemaica:
I think i have seen enough. i knew this was a bad idea.

Thank you all.

Yemaica:
I think i have seen enough. i knew this was a bad idea.

Thank you all.

OP I know it's hard to read other people's response to an issue you admitted to have royally f'ed up.
But I'd like to suggest you go along with whatever you can- for future reference.

And now for my own bit ______

I believe I understand how Gbenga is having a hard time giving you free reign since you already unfortunately took that for granted.

Look I know you don't want to be reminded each time that you messed up, we both know the price you're paying.

Gbenga is hurt! He feels letting go of you is too much for him to handle even after you broke his trust not once but on multiple occasions.

Right now I'll very much love for you to cut off all communications with your so called friend zoned male friends.

You might think that it's not fair for you to lose your friends over the years because a silly mistake you made but I think it is essential for your relationship to move ahead.
Gbenga would really appreciate the gesture and see it as a sign that you're really taking him seriously and showing it too.

Now as for him been silent on visiting your parents , what do you expect girl?

A man is serious with you yet you're still going on arranged dates with prospective suitors? Not once but two dates!

He's confused on how to proceed with the relationship.

Come on with your history? - Again sorry for bringing this up - but that is your reality now. You've got to be extra careful now if you truly want your man.


Ditch all of the male friends especially those he knows are interested in his woman! Let him know you're doing it to show how much you love and wants your relationship to work.

PS: I know how Gbenga feels about you having multiple "friend zoned" . I know for a fact it is easier to get a lady to cheat or even snatch outrightly when she considers you "just a friend" , mind you there is nothing like that.


I'd very much like to know how everything worked out and wish you the best.

Quote me on any thread for update.

All the best

JayBasic:
Dear Op,

Nobody is perfect, we all sin differently. However trust broken is almost irreparable but it can be managed when the offender makes huge sacrifices.

You have been caught cheating on more than one occasion...my dear the only thing you can do to regain his trust is to stay away from all male friends, fvcc that friendzone bs, just stay away from any male who is not related by blood to you. Stop being friendly to other guys. That is the sacrifice you will have to make for life in order to be happy with Gbenga. No male (who is not family) should even call to ask how you are doing. If you can't make this sacrifice, then forget the relationship, it will be a miserable one for both of you.

However....

If you can't make that sacrifice and have to break up with him, And to reduce his heart break, ie if you still care for Gbenga, make sure he begins dating someone else before you do and please don't date Olamide or any of the guys you have previously cheated on him with!

You both deserve to be happy.

Btw: I would love to ask more questions about you and him

Thanks JAY.

But i am sorry i cannot really answer any question regarding Gbenga and i. You can see the number of insults i got just telling a patch of my problem. i dont have the heart to take anymore.

Just do Gbenga a Favour... Leave his life... He deserves someone better, you too also deserve a fresh start then you will understand that men like Gbenga are not easy to come by...

Hyper80:
I pray God will give your boyfriend a better woman. He deserves better than you

I just had to quote this and say a very big AMEN. I will definitely add gbenga to my prayer points so God will send him his real soulmate.
Madam OP you know try at all, you may never get a man like him again. His type are very hard to find.

Yemaica:
I think i have seen enough. i knew this was a bad idea.

Thank you all.

LMAO

Did you not ask us to tell you the truth?

look! This is one of the very few threads on nairaland where everybody said the SAME thing.

I advice you wake up by 12am and read all comments again and then act accordingly.

Very dumb and cheap slut that doesn’t have regards for herself, that’s what OP is. You cheated on him several times and he forgave you yet, you still go up and down keeping men in the name of friendzone, for what exactly? If the Olumide business that interests you later became true, you would’ve moved on with your “casual” friendship with him and before you know it, you open your leg again? ... You’re lucky you’re not with my kind of man, na better slap I for use reset your brain before I dump your cheap ass. If you want your relationship to work, stay away from your numerous male friends and focus on your man., He should be your best friend, your bestie, your casual friend, your lover, your everything.

Yemaica:


Thanks, But i have tried that.. He said he tired of hearing sorry he want me to prove it to him. Thats the problem. i am trying to prove and prove but he is not seeing it. i am beginning feel like he is managing me pending the time he finds another girl. i dont know what else to think.

you're your own problems am tired of you girls insatiable beings like goats

Kurupt01:





OP I know it's hard to read other people's response to an issue you admitted to have royally f'ed up.
But I'd like to suggest you go along with whatever you can- for future reference.

And now for my own bit ______

I believe I understand how Gbenga is having a hard time giving you free reign since you already unfortunately took that for granted.

Look I know you don't want to be reminded each time that you messed up, we both know the price you're paying.

Gbenga is hurt! He feels letting go of you is too much for him to handle even after you broke his trust not once but on multiple occasions.

Right now I'll very much love for you to cut off all communications with your so called friend zoned male friends.

You might think that it's not fair for you to lose your friends over the years because a silly mistake you made but I think it is essential for your relationship to move ahead.
Gbenga would really appreciate the gesture and see it as a sign that you're really taking him seriously and showing it too.

Now as for him been silent on visiting your parents , what do you expect girl?

A man is serious with you yet you're still going on arranged dates with prospective suitors? Not once but two dates!

He's confused on how to proceed with the relationship.

Come on with your history? - Again sorry for bringing this up - but that is your reality now. You've got to be extra careful now if you truly want your man.


Ditch all of the male friends especially those he knows are interested in his woman! Let him know you're doing it to show how much you love and wants your relationship to work.

PS: I know how Gbenga feels about you having multiple "friend zoned" . I know for a fact it is easier to get a lady to cheat or even snatch outrightly when she considers you "just a friend" , mind you there is nothing like that.


I'd very much like to know how everything worked out and wish you the best.

Quote me on any thread for update.

All the best

Thanks.

What do women really want sef. they meet a nice guy,they take him for granted.they meet a no nonsence guy,they shout "all me are wicked". so na gbenga you call "the beast" just because he truely loves you and want you avoid your past mistakes thereby,beign overprotective of your promiscous,cheap and dumb ass,and called olumide "the man" because of the sweet things he is doing for you just to win your heart ahbi. you dumb shaa.get out jare, buhari get sense pas you .

Advice to ladies...if you cheat on a guy and he agrees to continue the relationship...sister abeg run...it's either he wants to waste your time or he wil do things that will make you regret..no guy can stand a gal who has cheated..

So my advice to you if possible....leave gbenga and start afresh...you are facing trouble like this when you both ain't even married...count your losses and move on

The damage was done when you used a different standard for him and the person/people you cheated on him with.

When he came to you, you asked him plenty questions, took him to your sister and pastor and made him confess his love for you. Question, did you take the person/people you cheated with to your sister or pastor? Did you ask them plenty questions? I'm guessing no. The implication is that you do not respect him and are taking him for granted. Brother man swallowed it like a humble guy and gave you another chance (It might be real it might be fake, I can not know because I am not him. But if it was me, my pride will not let me take you back) but you still hang around boys and come to tell him stories. Knowing fully well that you easily fall prey to boys you do not hold to the same standard as him, question, is he supposed to trust you with them? is he supposed to just sit back and see what he cherishes being rubbed all over with mud and used by other people because she does not value herself?

The way I see it, you have several choices,

1. Cut him loose. If his love was genuine, it will pain him but over time he will see he dodged a bullet because you are very naive and easily manipulated. (I am glad he is intelligent enough to see this for himself) Since I see he is having a hard time letting you go himself, maybe as a result of his love and loyalty to you and all the 'shrines' you took him to and made him confess his love.
2. Change! Not like APC that promise one thing and do another. What he wants from you are not mere words but concrete positive action. Like STOP SEEING ALL THOSE BOYS FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! and stop telling him about one inconsequential Olumide or his father or any of your shenanigans and indiscretions.
3. Stay exactly as you are, eventually marry him and then wait for shit to hit the fan and come and tell us all about it in a couple of years.

Dasall!

PS. Even if you leave him and continue this behaviour with any self-respecting guy, the circle will continue. You are not the type of woman one can be confident to leave with men and be rest assured that she can handle herself.

Yemaica:


He will hate me forever.

He already hates you but just can't tell you as he is weighing the regrets he will feel

No relationship on earth can EVER remain POSITIVELY the same after a cheating allegation!

You dumb as fvck.....If I were Gbenga....Imma beat you the hell outta my life.