In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot - Romance - Nairaland
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| In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 11:49pm On Jul 23 |
I’m currently in a relationship where both my guy and I are very petty. If my guy does something I don’t like, I tell him the first time, if he does the same thing the second time, I don’t talk too much and I just give him the exact taste of the same medicine. It works every time and he adjusts immediately. Same for him when he tells me he doesn’t like something if I don’t adjust, he will give me the exact taste of my medicine. So far, it’s been working for both of us because we both adjust accordingly. My question is that I hope this petty behaviour from my guy and I is not a toxic one? If it is not toxic that’s good. But at what point does this behaviour become toxic? NB: So far, this petty behaviour has been working well for the both of us. I’ll give an example of our petty behaviour. My boyfriend went to visit his mum. 24 hours after being at his mum’s place, he didn’t pick my call and he didn’t call me either, and he didn’t respond to the numerous messages I left on his phone. I was so worried, I had to call his mum and told his mum to give him the phone. His mum gave him the phone. His mum also confirmed to me that my boyfriend had arrived 24 hours before I called her so it wasn’t a case of him playing games with me. Obviously I was very angry and I asked him why he wasn’t picking my calls. His response was that he is busy. That he will call me when he is done with the job he was doing. I said ok. I didn’t call him again until he called me. He called me a day and half after speaking with him on his mum’s phone. All the while I was lamenting to his mum how her son has refused to call me or pick my calls. His mum kept consoling me that he will call me immediately he finished what was doing. Guess what?, when I went to visit my own parents, I did exactly the same thing to him. He was so angry. Since then he hasn’t tried that rubbish again. Then we had to promise each other to always pick each other’s call even if we are very busy. Since then we’ve been picking each other’s calls. 45 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by dawnomike(m): 11:56pm On Jul 23 |
MeghaneMorgane:Since it's working well for you both... Ride on!!! I just hope it will not begin to translate into nagging later on. 62 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 11:58pm On Jul 23 |
dawnomike:How can it translate into nagging ? |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Zonefree(m): 12:00am On Jul 24 |
dawnomike:Something that Involves a woman and you're hoping it'll not translate into nagging?  Dey play. 134 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 12:02am On Jul 24 |
Zonefree: Time will tell 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Cassandraloius: 1:28am On Jul 24 |
Na una choice. 11 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by DMCY: 1:44am On Jul 24 |
I guess when he starts cheating, you cheat also🌚? 116 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Reminderz: 2:52am On Jul 24 |
all I see is two kids in a relationship wasting away precious time doing nonsense... 211 Likes 21 Shares |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by SenecaTheYonger: 3:37am On Jul 24 |
When you give a Nigerian girl a taste of her own medicine, I swear she will adjust. They don’t really understand words. 9 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Oluromantic: 3:47am On Jul 24 |
Cat and dog things. The wrong thing is working for you bcus you're both immature explorers of each other. The day one of you attains a maturity step above the other, problems begin, break up follows. In a mature relationship, retaliation is not an option, you shouldn't even get to a point where you would retaliate. Forgiveness flows like a river. The man leads and is respected, the woman complements and is loved. It's never an equal right or retaliation thing. So help you God! 137 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Rexymania(m): 5:26am On Jul 24 |
Will be cheat back when you cheat, or vise versa? 1 Like |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Oloniyan(m): 5:59am On Jul 24 |
@Op does it include cheating and domestic violences? If yes is your answer, then you need to reconsider that relationship. It is not healthy 6 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by ObalendeCMS: 6:08am On Jul 24 |
I 8 women!! 7 Likes 1 Share
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| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 7:26am On Jul 24 |
Reminderz: We aren’t wasting away precious time my dear  . It is our own way to bring the other person to check without talking too much about it. For now, it works perfectly.5 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Nazgul: 7:32am On Jul 24 |
MeghaneMorgane:From what I'm seeing here, you guys are more focused on your weaknesses than your strengths. If you want your relationship to work, focus more on his strengths than his weakness cos no one is perfect. He would continue to make mistakes, He would offend you, however you choose to address it would go a long way in building and strengthening whatever you have for each other. Cos retaliating in a relationship is childish. It builds up grudge in your heart. The time you should spend forgiving and loving each other, you'll discover that you'll spend it trying to get back at each other for what one of you did to the other. Thus killing the little love and affection that's needed to build your relationship. My advice is this you communicate with each other whenever you feel one party is in the wrong and learn to forgive and forget cos that's what love is all about. Also, learn to focus on his strengths, see the good side of him and hold on to that. 16 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Michelle55: 7:35am On Jul 24 |
What kind of relationship is that? Are you saying if he cheats you would likely cheat to keep him in order? Omo, just prepare your kpekus for gwo gwo gwo gwo cos na you go hear am. Why not communicate how you feel rather than being vindictive each time he offends you? Can you keep up with this petty behavior if it escalates? Are you ready to sleep with his friends as well if he decides to cross the line with yours? To what extent are you willing to go with this pettiness? These and many more questions you need to ask yourself and if you can keep up then happy dating to you. In this time and age, I prioritize peace of mind and happiness over anything else. Light and love 👌 21 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 7:40am On Jul 24 |
Oloniyan: No no. Cheating is not involved and violence is not involved too. I’ll give an example of our petty behaviour. My boyfriend went to visit his mum. 24 hours after being at his mum’s place, he didn’t pick my call and he didn’t call me either, and he didn’t respond to the numerous messages I left on his phone. I was so worried, I had to call his mum and told his mum to give him the phone. His mum gave him the phone. His mum also confirmed to me that my boyfriend had arrived 24 hours before I called her so it wasn’t a case of him playing games with me. Obviously I was very angry and I asked him why he wasn’t picking my calls. His response was that he is busy. That he will call me when he is done with the job he was doing. I said ok. I didn’t call him again until he called me. He called me a day and half after speaking with him on his mum’s phone. All the while I was lamenting to his mum how her son has refused to call me or pick my calls. His mum kept consoling me that he will call me immediately he finished what was doing. Guess what?, when I went to visit my own parents, I did exactly the same thing to him. He was so angry. Since then he hasn’t tried that rubbish again. Then we had to promise each other to always pick each other’s call even if we are very busy. Since then we’ve been picking each other’s calls. |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 7:46am On Jul 24 |
Rexymania: We are not cheating people. And no, if he cheats, I’ll leave him and If I cheat, he will leave me. We have both discussed this so cheating is not even an option in this relationship. 2 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 7:56am On Jul 24 |
Michelle55: Our response to cheating is that the cheated person will leave. We have discussed this. If I cheat, he will leave me and if he cheats, I will leave him. We don’t intend to sleep around to bring the other person to check. That is outside our boundaries. We communicate a lot. It is when the other person refuses to change that they get the taste of their drug. So that they can understand better your grievances. Because sometimes it is hard for people to understand when they cannot relate. And we don’t do this from a bad place. We do it from a place of I want you to change. 4 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 8:00am On Jul 24 |
Oluromantic:Amen 🙏 |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by advanceDNA: 8:26am On Jul 24 |
MeghaneMorgane: There is nothing wrong with it until of course one person starts to take the other for granted, which often starts when one person realizes or over thinks that they have more leverage......you both sound like good and fair individuals who get each other, and have close to equal leverage and commitment for this strategy to work....... ..I used to adopt this strategy with my ex but it never worked...she will pretend like she doesnt know what im doing or saying and also try to manipulate me, calling me names that I don't care for her, that I'm being wicked.... One day the werey outrightly said she's a woman and that it's a norm for women to frustrate men and behave like lunatics, that my duty is to pamper her and beg her......I laughed....she thought it was funny.... It was one of my best served breakfast.... I served it cold and sour 20 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Michelle55: 8:33am On Jul 24 |
MeghaneMorgane:Retaliation is never a healthy recipe for a relationship that may likely end in marriage except you both don't have the plan of settling with each other then by all means continue. All the best!! 2 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Savedday2: 8:36am On Jul 24 |
When will 9ja girls stop being so useless? After this one don jump from one prick to another, she dey here they talk of pettiness. I totally blame that ur SIMP boyfriend. According to statistics, na ashawo kill our girls pass. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 8:38am On Jul 24 |
Michelle55:We plan to settle down together. Ok noted. I’ll try to stop this kind of behaviour. So if he doesn’t listen to my grievances, how can I make him understand? Or how can he make me understand if I’m not listening to his grievances ? 4 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 8:43am On Jul 24 |
advanceDNA: At the moment, we don’t take each other for granted. When someone complains about something, we do our best to adjust. It is when the one person doesn’t seem to change after numerous complaints that we become petty. This is not to destroy the relationship but to make the other party understand your grievances better. So that they can change for the better. I think it’s fair. As for that your former girlfriend, I think she is toxic. It’s good you left her. 5 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Zaheertyler(m): 9:03am On Jul 24 |
MeghaneMorgane:If you love him be observant of which of his actions stem from childhood traumas and insecurities...most times he is just pretending to adjust so you don't talk about it anymore... Why don't you observe him so you know when to correct him with love and kindness instead 2 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by bercarray(m): 9:11am On Jul 24 |
@MeghaneMorgane if that's the only way to you guys can tame each other go ahead with it please but of course I'll never say u should retaliate with cheating or domestic violence. All these people claiming maturity nonsense are the type that likes doing things to people and loves getting away with it but cannot take such from the other party and it's exactly the same thing they'll want to tear the roof down, jf their partner reminds em of when they did it too, its the same "you're not matured" statement they'll make, you'll hear "so is that why you did it back? You're acting childish". Manipulative people. See OP if that's what keeps both in check please go on with it. Whatever makes you relationship work please do it because whatever opinion u get here might be working for em in their own relationship but might not work with your man. 10 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 9:24am On Jul 24 |
Zaheertyler: My guy doesn’t have childhood trauma. We both don’t have childhood traumas and I’m grateful for that. We correct each other in love and kindness until the other person is not changing. Then we go petty. |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 9:25am On Jul 24 |
bercarray: Thank you. So far, it is working for us, so we will continue. Until when it is not needed anymore. 2 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by FalseProphet1(m): 9:33am On Jul 24 |
MeghaneMorgane:I see you getting pregnant for that guy. I see you giving birth to 3 plets. This I have seen. 7 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by MeghaneMorgane(f): 10:04am On Jul 24 |
FalseProphet1: Amen. I want to have his baby. I feel blessed to have him. 7 Likes |
| Re: In My Current Relationship, my guy and I retaliate a lot by Belurved1(m): 10:08am On Jul 24 |
Dem still they rehearse, una never enter the main game (marriage) which is the reality. I'm 98.5% sure this strategy won't be applicable when married. Weather you like it or not, if you can't give total respect to him, there'll be problem. Reminderz: 10 Likes 1 Share |
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