So how does this concerns us? And how the fùck did this made front page?

that one concern u and ur guy..oga no dey disturb us

There are some problems with this.

First of all, it is exhausting. Both of you cannot continue on like this forever. Someone will eventually get tired and want to leave or become indifferent.

The second problem is the fact that both of you are ok with hurting each other. If you love someone, you don't want to hurt them. You don't want your words or actions to hurt them, so when they tell you something you do is hurting them, you will adjust your behaviour accordingly. Retaliation won't be needed.

MeghaneMorgane:
I’m currently in a relationship where both my guy and I are very petty. If my guy does something I don’t like, I tell him the first time, if he does the same thing the second time, I don’t talk too much and I just give him the exact taste of the same medicine. It works every time and he adjusts immediately. Same for him when he tells me he doesn’t like something if I don’t adjust, he will give me the exact taste of my medicine. So far, it’s been working for both of us because we both adjust accordingly.
My question is that I hope this petty behaviour from my guy and I is not a toxic one?
If it is not toxic that’s good. But at what point does this behaviour become toxic?
NB: So far, this petty behaviour has been working well for the both of us.

I’ll give an example of our petty behaviour. My boyfriend went to visit his mum. 24 hours after being at his mum’s place, he didn’t pick my call and he didn’t call me either, and he didn’t respond to the numerous messages I left on his phone. I was so worried, I had to call his mum and told his mum to give him the phone. His mum gave him the phone. His mum also confirmed to me that my boyfriend had arrived 24 hours before I called her so it wasn’t a case of him playing games with me. Obviously I was very angry and I asked him why he wasn’t picking my calls. His response was that he is busy. That he will call me when he is done with the job he was doing. I said ok. I didn’t call him again until he called me. He called me a day and half after speaking with him on his mum’s phone. All the while I was lamenting to his mum how her son has refused to call me or pick my calls. His mum kept consoling me that he will call me immediately he finished what was doing. Guess what?, when I went to visit my own parents, I did exactly the same thing to him. He was so angry. Since then he hasn’t tried that rubbish again. Then we had to promise each other to always pick each other’s call even if we are very busy. Since then we’ve been picking each other’s calls.

All these alabasuru relationship.


Hadden been I know you I give you a dirty slap

PRYCE:


You gave an example of his own "rubbish" , why not give us an example of your own "rubbish" as well.?

You tried to sound neutral in the beginning but eventually finished by making him out to look like the troublemaker 😏

Yeah. You’re right. So my own bad character is that I call him a regular pet name. But he doesn’t like me to call him that because he says I use that name for everyone. So I have a special name I call him which he loves. Sometimes I forget to call him this name and then he doesn’t like it. To make me stop calling him that regular pet name he doesn’t like, he started to pronounce my birth name awkwardly which I don’t like. So I have started to be conscious and call him the way he loves me to call him. Though sometimes I still forget and then he reminds me by pronouncing my name awkwardly 🙈.

MeghaneMorgane:


His mum loves me. You have no idea how much she does love me😊.

Story.. his mom will prioritize his wellbeing and sanity over your feelings on how she may love. Her son’s worries and issues about you , will determine how much she’s willing to love about you in order to be considered as a would be daughter inlaw. You’re already sounding and feeling clingy to a mom who’s waay more emotionally and strategically experienced… you dey dig your gutter small small🤷🏿‍♂️😂😂

Reminderz:
all I see is two kids in a relationship wasting away precious time doing nonsense...

lol 2 kolo

MeghaneMorgane:


Actually not. It’s between us and our kids don’t have to get involved.

Hope you're aware children learn from an early age most especially what they see. Even a child who is yet to speak learns much more from those that child sees.

Yeah, hence it's bin working 4 u kip it up, bt honestly,u nid 2 b carefu 4 his countenance or mood wen Eva u opined ur duo retaliatn.
Nice one

MeghaneMorgane:
I’m currently in a relationship where both my guy and I are very petty. If my guy does something I don’t like, I tell him the first time, if he does the same thing the second time, I don’t talk too much and I just give him the exact taste of the same medicine. It works every time and he adjusts immediately. Same for him when he tells me he doesn’t like something if I don’t adjust, he will give me the exact taste of my medicine. So far, it’s been working for both of us because we both adjust accordingly.
My question is that I hope this petty behaviour from my guy and I is not a toxic one?
If it is not toxic that’s good. But at what point does this behaviour become toxic?
NB: So far, this petty behaviour has been working well for the both of us.

I’ll give an example of our petty behaviour. My boyfriend went to visit his mum. 24 hours after being at his mum’s place, he didn’t pick my call and he didn’t call me either, and he didn’t respond to the numerous messages I left on his phone. I was so worried, I had to call his mum and told his mum to give him the phone. His mum gave him the phone. His mum also confirmed to me that my boyfriend had arrived 24 hours before I called her so it wasn’t a case of him playing games with me. Obviously I was very angry and I asked him why he wasn’t picking my calls. His response was that he is busy. That he will call me when he is done with the job he was doing. I said ok. I didn’t call him again until he called me. He called me a day and half after speaking with him on his mum’s phone. All the while I was lamenting to his mum how her son has refused to call me or pick my calls. His mum kept consoling me that he will call me immediately he finished what was doing. Guess what?, when I went to visit my own parents, I did exactly the same thing to him. He was so angry. Since then he hasn’t tried that rubbish again. Then we had to promise each other to always pick each other’s call even if we are very busy. Since then we’ve been picking each other’s calls.

With a mindset and behavior like this, you relationship will fail

You and your yeye boyfriend should gettat.... country don Tinubu una get mind dey talk about relationship....oya eat your boyfriend na

This is the beginning of violence. It may seem to be working, but you both are simply not compatible. QED!

MeghaneMorgane:
I’m currently in a relationship where both my guy and I are very petty. If my guy does something I don’t like, I tell him the first time, if he does the same thing the second time, I don’t talk too much and I just give him the exact taste of the same medicine. It works every time and he adjusts immediately. Same for him when he tells me he doesn’t like something if I don’t adjust, he will give me the exact taste of my medicine. So far, it’s been working for both of us because we both adjust accordingly.
My question is that I hope this petty behaviour from my guy and I is not a toxic one?
If it is not toxic that’s good. But at what point does this behaviour become toxic?
NB: So far, this petty behaviour has been working well for the both of us.

I’ll give an example of our petty behaviour. My boyfriend went to visit his mum. 24 hours after being at his mum’s place, he didn’t pick my call and he didn’t call me either, and he didn’t respond to the numerous messages I left on his phone. I was so worried, I had to call his mum and told his mum to give him the phone. His mum gave him the phone. His mum also confirmed to me that my boyfriend had arrived 24 hours before I called her so it wasn’t a case of him playing games with me. Obviously I was very angry and I asked him why he wasn’t picking my calls. His response was that he is busy. That he will call me when he is done with the job he was doing. I said ok. I didn’t call him again until he called me. He called me a day and half after speaking with him on his mum’s phone. All the while I was lamenting to his mum how her son has refused to call me or pick my calls. His mum kept consoling me that he will call me immediately he finished what was doing. Guess what?, when I went to visit my own parents, I did exactly the same thing to him. He was so angry. Since then he hasn’t tried that rubbish again. Then we had to promise each other to always pick each other’s call even if we are very busy. Since then we’ve been picking each other’s calls.

Both of you are graduates of the school of pure and applied vawulence. so that means if he cheats, you'll retaliate by cheating too then the cycle goes on and both of you would start treating infection. Let your relationship stay as boyfriend and girlfriend until both of you sit down and tell yourselves the truth. If both of you eventually get married, it's either your marriage won't last or your kids would really suffer from your actions. Both of you should learn to forgive. Sit down and discuss about what you like and don't like. Let your guy speak too. Infact, both of you can see a counselor. Both of you are likely not compatible! The relationship lacks understanding

MeghaneMorgane:



Our response to cheating is that the cheated person will leave. We have discussed this. If I cheat, he will leave me and if he cheats, I will leave him. We don’t intend to sleep around to bring the other person to check. That is outside our boundaries.
We communicate a lot. It is when the other person refuses to change that they get the taste of their drug. So that they can understand better your grievances. Because sometimes it is hard for people to understand when they cannot relate. And we don’t do this from a bad place. We do it from a place of I want you to change.

Easy to say until one cheats and the other refuses to leave🤣🤣

MeghaneMorgane:


His mum loves me. You have no idea how much she does love me😊.

His mom is already giving him advice in private. Don't be too comfortable. Mothers know how to play crazy politics. She knows about what is going on between you two and when the time comes, she would take him to where he would have peace of mind

[quote author=BABANGBALI post=131128716]Boat of you are childrens, that's why you're boat behaving a childrens





Some people always
write TV just because they can't spell Telefushion Nii fa

MeghaneMorgane:


We are not cheating people. And no, if he cheats, I’ll leave him and If I cheat, he will leave me.
We have both discussed this so cheating is not even an option in this relationship.

WELL ITS HEAD HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION IF YOU ASK ME. FIRSTLY YOUR MAN SAYS HE WENT HOME TO SEE HIS MUM, 24HOURS HE DID NOT PICK YOUR CALL, EVEN AFTER YOU CALLED HIS MUM AND SHE GAVE HIM THE PHONE IT TOOK HIM ANOTHER 36 HOURS TO CALL YOU. MY SISTER YOU ARE NOT PRIORITY, YOU DOING HIM BACK CHANGES NOTHING. OK BREAK IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!SO FOR ALMOST 72 HOURS ARE YOU SAYING HE DID NOT CALL, BROWSE OR TEXTED ANYONE? YOU ARE DEALING WITH A BROKEN ALPHA MINDSET GUY. SOMEONE MESSED WITH HIS HEART, HE IS MANIPULATING YOU.

advanceDNA:


There is nothing wrong with it until of course one....
One day the werey outrightly said she's a woman and that it's a norm for women to frustrate men and behave like lunatics, that my duty is to pamper her and beg her......I laughed....she thought it was funny.... It was one of my best served breakfast.... I served it cold and sour

The point you raised here baffles me, when you heard people saying that backing it up...even from religious elders, in the court room and culture. Then you begin to wonder if that is fair to men.... If it is norm for women to misbehave, have entitlement mindset

Only few have reason beyond that selfish thoughts.

Communication is more important than all these you guys are exploring. What if you mis interpret his actions and end up doing worse than you thought he did?

What if he gets violent at you, will you guys receive the same treatment? He is a man and there are things he can get away with or people will not frown at, but if you do it, you would be seen in another light.

Stop watching Bollywood and soap operas, relationship is work not tanturms

Emanodimo:


The point you raised here baffles me, when you heard people saying that backing it up...even from religious elders, in the court room and culture. Then you begin to wonder if that is fair to men.... If it is norm for women to misbehave, have entitlement mindset

Only few have reason beyond that selfish thoughts.

Some.pple worship women...low self esteem pple....them dey mád

MeghaneMorgane:


Yeah. You’re right. So my own bad character is that I call him a regular pet name. But he doesn’t like me to call him that because he says I use that name for everyone. So I have a special name I call him which he loves. Sometimes I forget to call him this name and then he doesn’t like it. To make me stop calling him that regular pet name he doesn’t like, he started to pronounce my birth name awkwardly which I don’t like. So I have started to be conscious and call him the way he loves me to call him. Though sometimes I still forget and then he reminds me by pronouncing my name awkwardly 🙈.

I will advise you stop engaging some of these comments. You should be aware you're on Nairaland, the forum of a country where majority of its citizens are very out of touch with reality; they also ranks amongst the lowest in terms of intelligence and human relation.

There have been quite a few comments so far and I only want to reiterate what they said per knowing when and where to draw the line especially regarding domestic violence and cheating. For the most part though, your strategy is working currently and that is all that matters.

Ignore all the "childish," "forgiveness " and "immaturity" talks; they're from hypocrites who enjoy doing to others what they wouldn't tolerate. Also the words they throw around aren't theirs; they're mostly from their religious leaders who themselves have failing and failed relationships.
One thing I have observed with thriving relationships and marriages in the 21st century is the ability of the two persons involved to base their relationship strictly on what works for them. In fact the opposite is true and if anyone has a divorce judge parent or friend they can fact check me on this: The common decimal for the majority of marriages that ended in divorce is the either or both of the two parties being the troublemaker and at the same time feeling entitled to forgiveness. I feel like if you really love someone, you won't hurt them or take them for granted by repeatedly dismissing their concerns and complaints. And it is funny because some of the requests we make from our partners are little things that won't cost them much to do or stop doing (like in your case, calling to register safe arrival but in my case, repeatedly telling an adult to flush the toilet after using it), but because they're already used to getting away with a lot, they keep doing it over and over again.

Oluromantic:
Cat and dog things. The wrong thing is working for you bcus you're both immature explorers of each other. The day one of you attains a maturity step above the other, problems begin, break up follows. In a mature relationship, retaliation is not an option, you shouldn't even get to a point where you would retaliate. Forgiveness flows like a river. The man leads and is respected, the woman complements and is loved. It's never an equal right or retaliation thing. So help you God!

Op, you and your boyfriend should read the above post i quoted religiously like a bible.
I no get time for plenty talk.
All I see is TOXICITY
premium tears loading down the road

Bro that worked for me

DMCY:
I guess when he starts cheating, you cheat also🌚?

For real it did I wish I could share more on how it went tho

i belive, it is a good thing, because it will make u know how it feels when it is being done to them.

[quote author=Leemzyy post=131131777][/quote]Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo
Gwo Gwo Gwo Ngwo

MeghaneMorgane:
I’m currently in a relationship where both my guy and I are very petty. If my guy does something I don’t like, I tell him the first time, if he does the same thing the second time, I don’t talk too much and I just give him the exact taste of the same medicine. It works every time and he adjusts immediately. Same for him when he tells me he doesn’t like something if I don’t adjust, he will give me the exact taste of my medicine. So far, it’s been working for both of us because we both adjust accordingly.
My question is that I hope this petty behaviour from my guy and I is not a toxic one?
If it is not toxic that’s good. But at what point does this behaviour become toxic?
NB: So far, this petty behaviour has been working well for the both of us.

I’ll give an example of our petty behaviour. My boyfriend went to visit his mum. 24 hours after being at his mum’s place, he didn’t pick my call and he didn’t call me either, and he didn’t respond to the numerous messages I left on his phone. I was so worried, I had to call his mum and told his mum to give him the phone. His mum gave him the phone. His mum also confirmed to me that my boyfriend had arrived 24 hours before I called her so it wasn’t a case of him playing games with me. Obviously I was very angry and I asked him why he wasn’t picking my calls. His response was that he is busy. That he will call me when he is done with the job he was doing. I said ok. I didn’t call him again until he called me. He called me a day and half after speaking with him on his mum’s phone. All the while I was lamenting to his mum how her son has refused to call me or pick my calls. His mum kept consoling me that he will call me immediately he finished what was doing. Guess what?, when I went to visit my own parents, I did exactly the same thing to him. He was so angry. Since then he hasn’t tried that rubbish again. Then we had to promise each other to always pick each other’s call even if we are very busy. Since then we’ve been picking each other’s calls.

So, if he cheats on you and you caught him, you will definitely cheats back.
Nice one 👍

sammiewrite:
I will advise you stop engaging some of these comments. You should be aware you're on Nairaland, the forum of a country where majority of its citizens are very out of touch with reality; they also ranks amongst the lowest in terms of intelligence and human relation.

There have been quite a few comments so far and I only want to reiterate what they said per knowing when and where to draw the line especially regarding domestic violence and cheating. For the most part though, your strategy is working currently and that is all that matters.

Ignore all the "childish," "forgiveness " and "immaturity" talks; they're from hypocrites who enjoy doing to others what they wouldn't tolerate. Also the words they throw around aren't theirs; they're mostly from their religious leaders who themselves have failing and failed relationships.
One thing I have observed with thriving relationships and marriages in the 21st century is the ability of the two persons involved to base their relationship strictly on what works for them. In fact the opposite is true and if anyone has a divorce judge parent or friend they can fact check me on this: The common decimal for the majority of marriages that ended in divorce is the either or both of the two parties being the troublemaker and at the same time feeling entitled to forgiveness. I feel like if you really love someone, you won't hurt them or take them for granted by repeatedly dismissing their concerns and complaints. And it is funny because some of the requests we make from our partners are little things that won't cost them much to do or stop doing (like in your case, calling to register safe arrival but in my case, repeatedly telling an adult to flush the toilet after using it), but because they're already used to getting away with a lot, they keep doing it over and over again.

Thanks for your wonderful comment!

Kavod:

WELL ITS HEAD HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION IF YOU ASK ME. FIRSTLY YOUR MAN SAYS HE WENT HOME TO SEE HIS MUM, 24HOURS HE DID NOT PICK YOUR CALL, EVEN AFTER YOU CALLED HIS MUM AND SHE GAVE HIM THE PHONE IT TOOK HIM ANOTHER 36 HOURS TO CALL YOU. MY SISTER YOU ARE NOT PRIORITY, YOU DOING HIM BACK CHANGES NOTHING. OK BREAK IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!SO FOR ALMOST 72 HOURS ARE YOU SAYING HE DID NOT CALL, BROWSE OR TEXTED ANYONE? YOU ARE DEALING WITH A BROKEN ALPHA MINDSET GUY. SOMEONE MESSED WITH HIS HEART, HE IS MANIPULATING YOU.

He is not manipulating me. He was actually very busy. He had a deadline to meet. I just felt it wasn’t nice for him to ignore me like that for over 2 days. Thank God for his mum who kept in touch with me the whole time I was waiting for him because I was sad the whole time he ignored me.

Azazyel:



His mom is already giving him advice in private. Don't be too comfortable. Mothers know how to play crazy politics. She knows about what is going on between you two and when the time comes, she would take him to where he would have peace of mind

I give my guy peace in case you don’t know. He gives me peace too. We both feel blessed 😇. His mum is one of the happiest people. His mum calls me quite often to check on me. She sends me gifts 🎁. I send her gifts too. My boyfriend has a wonderful family which I love 🥰.

Two wrong cannot make a right, him being stubborn and you retaliating would not solve any issues, one person must be calm than another.

MeghaneMorgane:


I give my guy peace in case you don’t know. He gives me peace too. We both feel blessed 😇. His mum is one of the happiest people. His mum calls me quite often to check on me. She sends me gifts 🎁. I send her gifts too. My boyfriend has a wonderful family which I love 🥰.

Now since you know you give him peace and he gives you peace, why were you confused in the first place and asking us if you were doing the right thing? One thing about the human mind is : once you feel you're doing something wrong then definitely, you're doing wrong. Your conscience is telling you the truth. Work on yourself so that you won't come back here talking about how your boyfriend and his mom betrayed you. Avoid learning the hard way

MeghaneMorgane:
I’mThen we had to promise each other to always pick each other’s call even if we are very busy. Since then we’ve been picking each other’s calls.

This thing will become complicated with time if you don't stop this shiitt. Effective communication is the real deal in any relationship or marriage.