Shame on Nigeria ladies.

Where is Ladyjide in all of this? she started this and has chosen to remain silent now. Nuf respect to Invisible!, say it like it is sister. Every human on this earth has roots. We, as africans are throwing away our traditions and trying by force to embrace the white mans ways. We forget that even the white man has roots and traditions which they follow. Go to any typical Irish or Scot wedding ceremony - The couple use their feet to break glass. The question therefore is "will they be breaking glass at home everyday"? How about the normal intertwining of hands by the couple to drink wine, do they do this at home everyday?
Kneeling down at the wedding ceremony is our (yoruba) tradition and is simply symbolic of respect and submission to your husband, the captain of your boat, the one to whom you are a help-mate, the father of your children (regardless of the position/style you used on the bed at the time of conception ). But most important, you are kneeling down before the one you love truly.
Ladyjide, its no big deal to kneel for your man, afterall, he is De MAN in your life.

@MOBO444

got dumped?.


Call 08099923345 for help instead of bashing Nigerian women.

Maj.Gen.:

Where is Ladyjide in all of this? she started this and has chosen to remain silent now. Nuf respect to Invisible!, say it like it is sister. Every human on this earth has roots. We, as africans are throwing away our traditions and trying by force to embrace the white mans ways. We forget that even the white man has roots and traditions which they follow. Go to any typical Irish or Scot wedding ceremony - The couple use their feet to break glass. The question therefore is "will they be breaking glass at home everyday"? How about the normal intertwining of hands by the couple to drink wine, do they do this at home everyday?
Kneeling down at the wedding ceremony is our (yoruba) tradition and is simply symbolic of respect and submission to your husband, the captain of your boat, the one to whom you are a help-mate, the father of your children (regardless of the position/style you used on the bed at the time of conception ). But most important, you are kneeling down before the one you love truly.
Ladyjide, its no big deal to kneel for your man, afterall, he is De MAN in your life.

What do you mean where am I, If you read it. as I am sure you have. I  stated my thoughts earlier !! I DO NOT See anything wrong with kneeling down to feed my husband, Not a bid deal- it is tradition for us Yorubas, Every wedding I have been to I have seen it done, even here in the United States

Where was Gbemi when her husband-to-be and his mates were prostrating over and over again during the engagement.

God will help us, this one na women LIBERATION or what? they want to eradicate effortless tradition!!! kneel down for your Master for few seconds has become a crime, a beg kneel down nothing spoil.

I'm supposed to go on a date with young woman of Yoruba descent this weekend. I may broach the subject. Knowing her I see in anyway she would comply to do that. But, you never know.

What is big deal about this topic, it has been repeated over and over again.

Yes I can feed my husband kneeling down, of course I did that during our traditional marriage. But to start doing that every time I want to give him food is an olden days tradition.

Please spear me that eye service.

@ ladyjide, since we r discussing Yoruba tradition here, i shall say a yoruba idiom for u to find out its interpretation.

eni t'a ni k'o se to, to l'oun o le se to-to-to.

it si simply a traditional CEREMONY!

it is only a symbolic and harmless gesture anyone can do xcept d individual has some misunderstandings somewhere. afterall d groom is even d one who does d most 'humiliatin' acts in d ceremony.

my dear, it's a no issue abeg.

All these men making noise here.How many women here 7do u see complaining abt this?
Most women do it and i am yet to someone who complains but den our men are now fault finders.For every little issue they will come up with the ridiculous excuse fo women lib
For the person talikg abt love making position,i rdie my man alot of times,does that mean i am not submissive or may he is under me?
u guys tire me wt your self righteous attitude.

Homerac read before posting,ladyjide is not complaining abt it it.u men have filled ur head wt all sorts of trash that no matter what women are saying u dont read or hear but go on wt ur arguements abt submission and no submission.

Men are naturally egoistic and would melt at the first sign of deference to them.

is it nature or more societal upbringing?

i would say both. women are just as egoistic but have been taught by society to surpress their feelings.

Kneel Down And Feed Your Husband?

Is he disabled?

Did your current Husband Kneel down to pop the the question "WILL YOU MARRY ME" if so, why didnt the  concern for equality creep into your thinking? Why does a man need to bend on his knees when he's proposing, but it's turned  into feminism when a woman bends on her knees to serve her husband a piece of cake?

Werin gender equality go cause. . .

I strongly believed that most women posts/comment on this tread are either a divorcee, mariage breaker or a great searcher. I hope some of them are not looking for GOOD HOME ok

Please, when next you are at a friends wedding in Nigeria.
Advice her to kneel down it goes a long way to determine,
so many things you will never be conscious of,

Watch the difference between western and Africa marriages, the western marriage doesn't last long because of the so called equality right between couples. On the other hand, marriage within the Africa community does last longer because of the adhrence to the cultural heritage and the female self presentation. I don't mean to be rude but if you can't follow after our Africa culture then divorce will be knocking at your door. Bible say women summit to your husband and the bible did not say in the 1990's only so it has to be continious.

since when did African men began kneeling down to propose to a woman? A man kneeling to propose marriage marriage is simply western culture not African.
Anyway back to the topic, do what you want to do. If your husband is okay with that then it shouldn't be an issue. Every marriage is different. I personally don't care whether somebody is kneeling or not.

suedoh2006:

Watch the difference between western and Africa marriages, the western marriage doesn't last long because of the so called equality right between couples. On the other hand, marriage  within the Africa community does last longer because of the adhrence to the cultural heritage and  the  female self presentation. I don't mean to be rude but if  you can't follow after our Africa culture then divorce will be knocking at your door. Bible say women summit to your husband and the bible did not say in the 1990's only so it has to be continious.

are you sure thats the reason why marriages in African culture last long? From what I have noticed in my family, many women were not happy in their marriages, but many of the women stayed in the marriage because they had no choice. The law wasn't on their side. If they had left, they would have been left with nothing. In a society were the man is the only person bringing in the income So women depended on their husband's income many women have no say and stayed in marriages because they know their kids will suffer if they leave. My mother was telling me the other day, many African women back in the day were suffering in silence because they stayed in unhappy marriages because of their children. Think about it, how many of our grandmothers were happy sharing their husbands with 5 to 10 different women? but they stayed in their marriage because there was nothing else to do.

MOBO444:

This is one of the reason Nigeria women can never ever get my respect, what is the big deal in Kneeling for your husband for the rest of your little life (dont forget you will have son too and even have brothers).
Nigeria women dont deserve anything even called marriage, here in England ,UK, they are not even worth a penny and nobody even look at their face, we go after the white girls, the Zimbawbwe, the Ghana ladies are also cool,The Liberians, The Jamaican, sierre Leone, Trindad andTobago, the Congolese, The South Africans, everybody has abandoned the Nigeria ladies in the UK because of their cheap manners and fake pride that got them no were.

what a masochistic fool this sorry naija boy think he is
No white woman will ever kneel to feed you cake, punk.Rather you will spend the rest of your life kneeling and eating the cake between her legs.
I hope you never marry a Nigerian girl,you don't deserve any one of them.
From a Nigerian Man

, the rest of the kneeling is done privately and I'm not complaining about that [

Ohsisi na wa o!
Nothing do u sha, carry go!

kabukabu:


what a masochistic fool this sorry naija boy think he is
No white woman will ever kneel to feed you cake, punk.Rather you will spend the rest of your life kneeling and eating the cake between her legs.
I hope you never marry a Nigerian girl,you don't deserve any one of them.
From a Nigerian Man

Rightly said,

Some people somehow leave the shores of nigeria and think that makes them better than everybody else,

I've lived in the UK and met a lot of his type, sorry backside losers who havent got game, always looking for cheap kitty all over the place,

This is an interesting and vexed post and I thank Ladyjide for bringing it up. Ladyjide only brought to our awareness how many modern women feel about some of the aspects of our traditional ceremonies that clash with our modern way of thinking, but I do n't think she would have had the courage to refuse the elders or the audience to kneel to feed her husband. Kneeling down to feed your husband is just a ceremony that has nothing to do with ur being submissive to him in the future, but failing to do so in public ceremony would only give people a false impression of your true nature and even create difficulties for u.

Remember Obama had bowed to king of Saudi Arabia and the Queen of England because he undersood the tradition that kings are overlords that are given such respect and it helped to improve the relationship between the two men.

Respect for a man is usually borne out of the love the woman feels for him as her husband, and most women are endoured with the capacity to show love by their innate maternal instinct of protection, nurturing and nest building which are the qualities of any female. Biologically this feeling is said to be mediated through estrogens and some hormonce calld oxytocin that is relassed during lovemaking and breast feeding though a lot psychological and cultural influences play roles in this.

Some men have tended to be egoistic in relationships and misunderstand a woman so called serving role and display unnecessary aggression,fueled by their personality difficulties and socciocultural and religous sitauations . Even in most white families, the wife still cooks and keeps the home and children clean and tidy because it is a natural instinct that women have to keep a healthy safe nest , which is further reinforced by upbringing. Men have difficulties controlling their egoisim and aggressiveness but most of them have been able to show protectiveness to their families and thus able to express love to everyone.

For me I do not think men should take advantage of the fair sex, her maternal nurturing instinct and demean women because this instinct can easily turn to aggression and a loss for him. Equal partnership attitude is the best approach while we both recognise our roles and offer help in an overlapping maner to eahc other as required. So when faced with this cultural ceremony of feeding husband in public women please allay your anxiety do it with love as part of the show and remember that your husband's familes have done their submission prostrating before your family and just enjoy the fun of the day.

However if your husband continues to demand this act of kneeling and feeding him all the time after marriage not occasionl when he is in play mode, do not comply. He is only trying to humiliae you.

I can kneel down for him any day.
My hubby knows who really is boss.

On a serious note, a submissive woman who knows her worth will call the shots in the marriage.

^^^^ i think so too.
A wife whom the husband sees as "good" will usually have free reign over everything.

How this is an issue, I just can't understand. 

my sister just mailed me this link to take a look at. felt i should share it http://intimates4u.com

Solozzo:

This is an interesting and vexed post and I thank Ladyjide for bringing it up. Ladyjide only brought to our awareness how many modern women feel about some of the aspects of our traditional ceremonies that clash with our modern way of thinking, but I do n't think she would have had the courage to refuse the elders or the audience to kneel to feed her husband. Kneeling down to feed your husband is just a ceremony that has nothing to do with your being submissive to him in the future, but failing to do so in public ceremony would only give people a false impression of your true nature and even create difficulties for u.

I am glad you understood!! I was simply re posting something that I found to be an interesting read- The original creator of this article- is not someone that I agree with and too each its own!! Tradition is tradition!

homerac7:

@ ladyjide, since we r discussing Yoruba tradition here, i shall say a yoruba idiom for u to find out its interpretation.

eni t'a ni k'o se to, to l'oun o le se to-to-to.

it si simply a traditional CEREMONY!

it is only a symbolic and harmless gesture anyone can do xcept d individual has some misunderstandings somewhere. afterall d groom is even d one who does d most 'humiliatin' acts in d ceremony.

my dear, it's a no issue abeg.

Ok- I am glad you feel that way. I dont feel there is any issue as well!!

kabukabu:


what a masochistic fool this sorry naija boy think he is
No white woman will ever kneel to feed you cake, punk.Rather you will spend the rest of your life kneeling and eating the cake between her legs.
I hope you never marry a Nigerian girl,you don't deserve any one of them.
From a Nigerian Man

Ouch!!! Tell him how you really feel !!!  Every man does not deserve a strong Nigerian woman!

Kneel down? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Culture? Which kain?

I think marriage ceremonies have become sort of entertainment for some people, such that they want to wait and watch ( like its some silly Nollywood movie) how the woman feeds her husband, who is first ( and this is veeeeeimeeery ridiculous) to cut the cake ( it even sounds silly). Its even more annoying at those engagement parties where the 'mama gage' and 'baba gage' embarras couples with their lewd remarks and 'ja-je ja-je nonsense'!!!

Is that the sign that I am well brough up? Hell no!! I can kneel down a million times and be as rude 2 million times. It shows how much emphasis we put on appearances and 'follow-follow' cos I see no sense in it. Who started this nonsense anyway.

Dont get me wrong, I can kneel for my husband. It doesnt make me less of a human being. Its not like I'm serving punishment or sth. But to make a nollywood film out of it ? No thanks.

^^