LWKMD @buzugee, u no well oh! dat one be say the person go dey chop for dream be dat

Drop him like it's hot, Its obvious he doesn't love you, He that hath ears let him listen!

treylaw:

Drop him like it's hot, Its obvious he doesn't love you, He that hath ears let him listen!

obi123:

LWKMD @buzugee, u no well oh! dat one be say the person go dey chop for dream be dat

am jus tryna help my nigerian sisters out

^^ LOL@ celery, who eats that?
Anywayz, try to help your naija brothers out too.

My sister you also need to let him know himslef that he  ain't God's gift to women, since you said that he's not your preference physically. You decided to over look that and still be with him. If he's so worried about the way you look now, he will keep pestering you for the rest of your married life! I'm not saying that its bad for a man to let his woman know that she should trim up here and there, but if it becomes a constant battle and he keeps saying his friends are saying this and that, then whats the point? Does he want  you to be ANOREXIC? If he's looking for a skinny chick, then why did he talk to you then?
My sister this is too much pressure on you, please don't go and kill yourself. Just for your own health, keep on excercising and eating right like you've been doing. Weight loss ain't easy, but all this pressure before the marriage is too much,. You need to warn him, either he accepts it or steps away, My question now is what is he going to say when you get pregnant?

Abeg warn am o!

^^Well said

.

chiogo:

^^ LOL@ celery, who eats that?
Anywayz, try to help your naija brothers out too.

naija brothers no need help at all

My own 2 $s- as an experienced hand. People don't change after marriage and that's a fact. In your heart, you know he does not like you being fat, even if you  lose weight now to fit into his dream shape, what are you going to do when the babies come? Will you get a nose job too? and a boob job?You are on the right track actually thinking about this before you take the plunge.

I want to assume this guy is a Nigerian Brad Pitt or at least RMD, So chin up girl, you don't need to be depressed. But do not think for one second that this guy will "change". If he really loves you, you will never have heard what his friends said about your looks or weight. He would have professed his love for you to them and not let you learn of such hurtful remarks.

Good luck to u!

Girl,
I am a dude and I feel ur pain. The guy want u for reason I don't know but doesn't want ur physical attributes. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. I am not in any way vain, I have dated woman that are on the big side and slim ones, but if u ask me what I prefer at this point in my life and the foreseeable future, I will tell u I want a trim girl. I am sure this may be the opposite for the next Joe. If a guy starts feeling this way now abt ur look(Did u say its been a life long thing with u?), then its not gonna get any better. So think abt it hon and make ur heartfelt choice. There are other guys out there who are willing to scoop u off ur feet, fat or not.

Just last weekend, he coget hitched.mplained that some of his friends saw  my picture and said I was fat and look older than him. He said he felt bad and that he does not want this to happen again. That I shld make sure I exercise everyday and loose the weight before November.
Our wedding is in Dec, and we have made all the preparation.

Why would you marry a man who has issues with your very being just before the wedding. He felt bad and does not want it to happen again. Fanta, be wise if you cherish your mental health. You would feel a lot worse if you get hitched by that spineless brute.

Women, things they do

Even when the door is wide open for them , they still refuse to follow the right path

A man has been trorturing you mentally and psychologically and you are still here seeking for advice

God have mercy on you. Someone pls tell this woman that this is marriage we are talking about

@ all ya'll telling her to lose the weight for him, na wa ooh.What if he says he doesn't like her face tomorrow? Wetin she go do? Omo no dull urself OP.The dude is an abuser.He will never be satisfied.When you guys saw for the first time if he didn't like what he saw then he should have let you go. This guy is a whiner nd lacks maturity.he also doesn't know how to talk.Poster must have been humiliated.

Babe,

i have a girlfriend who seems to be on the fat side, bobi everywhere and very tall. I so much like this my girl that i always beg her to walk on the street with me. i gat flesh too but not bothered how she looks. she makes my world go round and she knows.

The only thing i tell her is that, she needs to keep fit herself by reducing food intake. and she has been complying to that. in fact, i dont listen to my friends: they can say all they want. i only end up asking them, 'if they saw my tall angel.'

Now, its no new thing to my friends and she is part of us all. the point hia is that the girl is not going to be the wife of my friends but me. its all about US and not them, and in as much as she makes me happy whenever i see her, that is ok by me.

She might be like that or reduce after child birth but, She still makes my heart glo. as i dey flo with u, that guy is not decisive and serious and could be dangerous not furious and should atleast leave u for good. unless, u dont want to, but make e dey ur mind say, life is too short and no dulling.

I like plump chics and not all of them makes me happy.'

No force urself enter somtin wey d other party no gree sign contract with goo eye.

i cant decide to gain or lose weight to please someone. what if he starts complaining of something else after that he doesnt expect me to change my entire looks to soothe him. he should accept me the way i am or Bleep off. how many guys can do that for their women? easier said than done.

why dont he show example by going for plastic surgery to amend his physical looks which she said isnt great.

the 1st time my man suggested i should stop watching my weight and add some more i declined bluntly and he ve never mentioned that again.

They say marriage is for better for worst that does not mean that u should make an unnecessary mistake while choosing your heart rob.
Marriage is not a child's play because no woman would like her man to look outside after marriage. so I suggest that you sit u're man down and ask him exactly what he wants from you, if he truly wants u, then let him show more love, care and support and stop seeking friends advice. On u're own part, I think that if u work hard u can lose as many weight as u wish. I also think that the marriage proposal is too sudden all the same Pray eagerly to God, for with him everything is possible

THIS IS A CANDID ADVICE FOR YOU :

THIS YOUR GUY LOVES YOU AND THAT IS WHY HE IS NOT HIDING HIS FEELINGS FROM YOU, EVERY TODAY'S MEN WANTS PEOPLE TO SEE THEIR WIFE AS PREETY WIFE, HE KNOWS YOU ARE PREETY BUT HE WANTS YOU TO BE BETTER BECAUSE HE KNOWS YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND BE AS PERFECT AS HE WANTS YOU TO. HIS MISTAKE IS THAT HE FAILS TO HELP YOU WORK ON IT( NOT HIS FAULT COS MEN CANNOT BE THE SAME). I GUESS YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE TIME OR ENERGY TO DO EXERCISE ENDLESSLY THEN YOU SHOULD THINK OF ALTERNATIVE THERAPY, YOU ARE A NIGERIAN AND YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE ONE, GET YOURSELF A GOOD HERBAL BITTERS THAT WILL REDUCE YOU IN WEEKS AND I BET YOU WILL SURPRISED TO SEE YOURSELF MORE PREETY WITH A SLIMMER STATURE.

GO HELP YOURSELF AND DON'T SEND YOUR GUY PACKING FOR LOVING YOU !. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT !

OMO_EKO 1:

THIS IS A CANDID ADVICE FOR YOU :

THIS YOUR GUY LOVES YOU AND THAT IS WHY HE IS NOT HIDING HIS FEELINGS FROM YOU, EVERY TODAY'S MEN WANTS PEOPLE TO SEE THEIR WIFE AS PREETY WIFE, HE KNOWS YOU ARE PREETY BUT HE WANTS YOU TO BE BETTER BECAUSE HE KNOWS YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND BE AS PERFECT AS HE WANTS YOU TO. HIS MISTAKE IS THAT HE FAILS TO HELP YOU WORK ON IT( NOT HIS FAULT COS MEN CANNOT BE THE SAME). I GUESS YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE TIME OR ENERGY TO DO EXERCISE ENDLESSLY THEN YOU SHOULD THINK OF ALTERNATIVE THERAPY, YOU ARE A NIGERIAN AND YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE ONE, GET YOURSELF A GOOD HERBAL BITTERS THAT WILL REDUCE YOU IN WEEKS AND I BET YOU WILL SURPRISED TO SEE YOURSELF MORE PREETY WITH A SLIMMER STATURE.

GO HELP YOURSELF AND DON'T SEND YOUR GUY PACKING FOR LOVING YOU !. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT !

Captain All caps, before you post next time,pls make use of the tiny button on your keyboard over <<<<<<<to the right that says caps lock.Posting in All caps is Rude, rule number one in Internet Ettiquette.

Lets see here,
Todays men want to have a pretty wife?
True but you can't be a 100 naira bill looking for a thousand naira bill

If he fails to help her lose weight,then its not his fault?? OOOps he does love her , right or he just wants someone to show off to friends and family!

How do you know if she is presently working out or not?

you are a Nigerian ,so act like one?
Ignorance at its highest!
I was unaware that there are ethnic diferences when it comes to issues of weight,oh well

So pretty much you want to sell "herbal bitters", it would have made more sense if you told us that in the beginning of your post.

Personally,I don't think he "loves" her,he is just showing his stripes as a man who will emotionally abuse her in the future, if he is so focused on her weight, workout with her.

I think the crook has an agenda besides what we know here.

well,all i can say is for u to look before you jump in what will not last you.a martial home is meant to last a life time but what can it be call when it last a couple of years.let him love u for who you are before going to that alter with him.wait a minute, if u are one eyed woman WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN HE FIRST MET YOU O WHAT WILL HIS FRIENDS SAY,

kabukabu:

Captain All caps, before you post next time,pls make use of the tiny button on your keyboard over <<<<<<<to the right that says caps lock.Posting in All caps is Rude, rule number one in Internet Ettiquette.

Mine is on the left oo. .something must be wrong. .

oYaTo:



Mine is on the left oo. .something must be wrong. .

Sorry its on the left of mine too , This okpe had me riled up, superman lost his focus for a second.

yep

the ball is in her court


the point is that physical attaction matters alot

if the man is not attracted to her fat self, and he wants her to slim off, is because he is honest

he does not want a situation after getting married, he would be ashamed of going out with his wife,


he voiced his feelings and peeps are calling him selfish

berra they sort it themselves, not calling her to call it off (as if e easy to find husband )

abeg, if she loves the dude and she wants to make him happy, she shud be determined to look the best for her husband!!!


my 2 kobo

kobikwelu:

yep

the ball is in her court


the point is that physical attaction matters alot

if the man is not attracted to her fat self, and he wants her to  slim off, is because he is honest

he does not want a situation after getting married, he would be ashamed of going out with his wife,


he voiced his feelings and peeps are calling him selfish

berra they sort it themselves, not calling her to call it off (as if e easy to find husband )

abeg, if she loves the dude and she wants to make him happy, she shud be determined to look the best for her husband!!!


my 2 kobo

abi ooo my brother. naija women too have their conditions before they can marry a bobo. every love in this world is conditional. even the love from ya parents is conditional. wake up one day and tell ya parents that you are gay OR you dont want to go to school because you want to be a bus conductor as this has been your lifetime ambition, watch ya parents kick you out of the house faster than you can blink.
the conditions naija women put on their bobos before marriage reads like this
1, he must have a good job that pays 400,000 naira a month
2, he must have his own car. prefarably a merci oloye
3, he must know how to dress
4, he must have his own house. prefarably in fictoria island (lol those girls that make those kinda demand actually pronounce it fictoria island lol )
5, he must be tall and handsome
6, his abuna must be bigger than horses own   

now they are angry that a guy is putting demands on them too  you berra go slim down befor marriage jor 

if he is already not attracted to her, he should simply find someone who is.

buzugee:

abi ooo my brother. naija women too have their conditions before they can marry a bobo. every love in this world is conditional. even the love from ya parents is conditional. wake up one day and tell ya parents that you are gay OR you dont want to go to school because you want to be a bus conductor as this has been your lifetime ambition, watch ya parents kick you out of the house faster than you can blink.
the conditions naija women put on their bobos before marriage reads like this
1, he must have a good job that pays 400,000 naira a month
2, he must have his own car. prefarably a merci oloye
3, he must know how to dress
4, he must have his own house. prefarably in fictoria island (lol those girls that make those kinda demand actually pronounce it fictoria island lol )
5, he must be tall and handsome
6, his abuna must be bigger than horses own   

now they are angry that a guy is putting demands on them too  you berra go slim down befor marriage jor 

yeah, but most people find people that are ALREADY like that before starting up a relationship with them.
so thats a different story.

bottom line is that yr husband shld knw what he wants and not what his friends want. Fat or slim-i think its the content that matters and not d container. You on yr part shld work on yr self so u dnt blow out of proportion. Thats my 2pence

THE AMAKA:

if he is already not attracted to her, he should simply find someone who is.
yeah, but most people find people that are ALREADY like that before starting up a relationship with them.
so thats a different story.

thanks for making my point amaka. people have expectations and then go ahead and look for people who can fulfill these expectations they have. well in this guys case he met her online so there was no way he could tell if she will meet his conditions. well when he met her, he found out that she did not meet it. so he is being a gentleman by asking her to conform herself to suit his conditions. thats a gentleman right thurr. most men would have ran away the moment they found out that she did not meet his requirements. the brother needs to be commended for his generous and kind spirit 

buzugee:

thanks for making my point amaka. people have expectations and then go ahead and look for people with these conditions they have in their head. well in this guys case he met her online so there was no way he could tell if she will meet his conditions. well when he met her, he found out that she did not meet it. so he is being a gentleman by asking her to conform herself to suit his conditions. thats a gentleman right thurr. most men would have ran away the moment they found out that she did not meet his requirements. the brother needs to be commended for his generous and kind spirit

quote from poster:

I told him ahead of time that I was on the fat side, and he said he does not mind, that he is more particular about the inner person.

he initially had said her weight was fine. but soon after his friends saw her pics he became more bothered with her weight than ever before.
she even told him she was on the heavy side, so why make a big deal after when she already told him from the get-go?

THE AMAKA:

quote from poster:he initially had said her weight was fine. but soon after his friends saw her pics he became more bothered with her weight than ever before.
she even told him she was on the heavy side, so why make a big deal after when she already told him from the get-go?

i am sure you are aware of the concept called 'embellishing the truth' . like if you go on a dating website and a woman says that i am curvy. this ususally means that she is 800 pounds . somehow i think she put it out there that she is 'on the big side' just so the guy will be ready when he sees her, but she did not fully disclose that she was more than 'on the big side'

kpofkpof:

bottom line is that yr husband shld knw what he wants and not what his friends want. Fat or slim-i think its the content that matters and not d container. You on yr part shld work on yr self so u dnt blow out of proportion. Thats my 2pence

Can someone buy this poor dolt some sense
content vs container?

Thats what Gubment schoolin does to ya.
cheers.

THE AMAKA:

I'm going based off of what the poster said, you are going based off of what YOU THINK.
whatever,[color=#006600] I've said my piece.[/color]

and i can respect that but the fact still remains that the guy is a gentleman of valor. he is a gentleman who should be applauded and lauded, not castigated, for his generous spirit. we need to have a public holiday dedicated to this gentleman