mutter:

Johndoe, would you knock out the teeth of your worst enemy?
No matter what the woman did, is that the solution beating her up?
Do you believe that a woman who does something wrong and gets so badly beaten, would repeat that offence again? She would be filled with fear.
Texasgirl analysed the situation very well and she has real insight in this matter. Such men do not out themselves initially and the beating gets worse with time. I think these men get some sadistic pleasure out of beating a woman.
I think your reply is an insult to women who are going through hell in marriage. Nothing gives a man the right to beat his wife so badly.How would you feel if it was your sister or daughter?
I have made such experiences in my first marriage. My husband walked the few friends I had out of the house, and he stalked me when I went out. That way I was cut of from most friends. Everyone in the neighbourhood knew what was going on. Once the priest sent some christian mothers to me and my husband walked them out of our house with abuses. They prayed allot for me and gave me the strength I needed to flee. That even though the catholic church is against divorce.
I try to recollect sometimes years later what my offence were and honestly it was nothing a normal man would even comment about. When we first got married we had to spend some months in the North and he would bring home about 5 or 6 of his friends to eat lunch at home. It had to be pounded yam. After quite a while I suggested to him that he should maybe go the mess with his friends because I was finding it difficult to pound yam, since I had never really had much experience with it. He made no comment. That evening he suggested we go for a drive. He drove way out, not a soul only desert. Then he stopped and suggested we take a walk. After we got some distance away from the road he pulled out his gun and told me he could leave my corpse there and no one would find me. It was a privilege for a woman to have a husband and to cook for him. I should thank him when he eats my food. He trashed the living daylight out of me for things like, I looked a man in the face or I did not open the door when he came home. He was not ready to use his key a wife should be awake waiting for her husband and that at 2 or 3 almost every morning. When his superior reprimanded him because he saw the bruises he started flogging me with his belt. He would flog me on my trunk and upper legs only and challenge me to go and expose my body to anyone, then I would have an even greater problem.
When I had a child I brought her home the very next day. That night I locked myself in the room because I could see that look in his eyes that spelt trouble. He broke down the door and forced himself on me busting all my stitches. I was so weak and in pain. I had to go back to the hospital to get it re-stitched. By the time the doctor came the baby was crying and hungry, I was bosom feeding and had no bottle with me, While I was there screaming with pain, my husband insisted they put the baby on my bosom and the nurse actually did as he said but I pleaded with her not to allow my child drink my pain over my bosom. I thank God she listened to me, she sent my husband away and told him they needed to work alone and she would do as he said. She put her finger into the baby`s mouth to keep it quiet. On the way back and days after he was making jokes about how I screamed.
This is just a drop in the bucket, there was allot more that I even feel too bad to mention it.
So now please tell me what this c-u-n-t as you call me did to deserve all this?
Do you believe I was not making efforts to do it all right? It got to a stage that when I heard his car, my heart would pound madly and I would jump up to make sure that there was absolutely nothing to comment on that I had overlooked. Still he would find something to drive him mad. The curtains did not hang right or the phone was engaged when he tried to call, I cooked with too little meat or too much meat, I should bring his slippers before his meal.
The reason I stayed so long in the marriage was also because of such views like you have. You need to behave yourself, show more respect, all you educated girls etc,
Then again I was too ashamed to tell most of what was going on.
After some years I developed health problems, my heart was racing constantly uncontrollably and I would get this feeling like I was not getting any air and was suffocating. I had a lump in my throat that would not go away.Then I did not know it was psychological and due to the stress. At that time in Nigeria, no one really paid attention to such things. Finally I got to about two doctors. One an ENT and he explained to me it was all in the mind to do with stress. The other doctor examined me, I said nothing to him, he asked me to bring my husband along. I told him he would not come. The doctor gave me one year and I would be gone, if I did not leave that man. That without me even telling him my problems.
Sorry this is so detailed, this is not meant to arouse sympathy or to condemn anyone, just to help. I got help from others who opened my eyes, that I was not to blame and that I could not change it and that thigs were happening that simply should not happen.
,

I salute ur courage and strenght. Please inspire other women not to stay and die

@mutter
I salute your courage, no one deserve to be battered like that and definetely not by someone you called your husband. Most wife beaters are coward losers who deserved to be locked up and the key thrown away for ever.

mutter:

Johndoe, would you knock out the teeth of your worst enemy?
No matter what the woman did, is that the solution beating her up?
Do you believe that a woman who does something wrong and gets so badly beaten, would repeat that offence again? She would be filled with fear.
Texasgirl analysed the situation very well and she has real insight in this matter. Such men do not out themselves initially and the beating gets worse with time. I think these men get some sadistic pleasure out of beating a woman.
I think your reply is an insult to women who are going through hell in marriage. Nothing gives a man the right to beat his wife so badly.How would you feel if it was your sister or daughter?
I have made such experiences in my first marriage. My husband walked the few friends I had out of the house, and he stalked me when I went out. That way I was cut of from most friends. Everyone in the neighbourhood knew what was going on. Once the priest sent some christian mothers to me and my husband walked them out of our house with abuses. They prayed allot for me and gave me the strength I needed to flee. That even though the catholic church is against divorce.
I try to recollect sometimes years later what my offence were and honestly it was nothing a normal man would even comment about. When we first got married we had to spend some months in the North and he would bring home about 5 or 6 of his friends to eat lunch at home. It had to be pounded yam. After quite a while I suggested to him that he should maybe go the mess with his friends because I was finding it difficult to pound yam, since I had never really had much experience with it. He made no comment. That evening he suggested we go for a drive. He drove way out, not a soul only desert. Then he stopped and suggested we take a walk. After we got some distance away from the road he pulled out his gun and told me he could leave my corpse there and no one would find me. It was a privilege for a woman to have a husband and to cook for him. I should thank him when he eats my food.  He trashed the living daylight out of me for things like, I looked a man in the face or I did not open the door when he came home. He was not ready to use his key a wife should be awake waiting for her husband and that at 2 or 3 almost every morning. When his superior reprimanded him because he saw the bruises he  started  flogging me with his belt. He would flog me on my trunk and upper legs only and challenge me to go and expose my body to anyone, then I would have an even greater problem. 
When I had a child I brought her home the very next day. That night I locked myself in the room because I could see that look in his eyes that spelt trouble. He broke down the door and forced himself on me busting all my stitches. I was so weak and in pain. I had to go back to the hospital to get it re-stitched. By the time the doctor came the baby was crying and hungry, I was bosom feeding and had no bottle with me,  While I was there screaming with pain, my husband insisted they put the baby on my bosom and the nurse actually did as he said but I pleaded with her not to allow my child drink my pain over my bosom. I thank God she listened to me, she sent my husband away and told him they needed to work alone and she would do as he said. She put her finger into the baby`s mouth to keep it quiet. On the way back and days after he was making jokes about how I screamed.
This is just a drop in the bucket, there was allot more that I even feel too bad to mention it.
So now please tell me what this c-u-n-t as you call me did to deserve all this?
Do you believe I was not making efforts to do it all right? It got to a stage that when I heard his car, my heart would pound madly and I would jump up to make sure that there was absolutely nothing to comment on that I had overlooked. Still he would find something to drive him mad. The curtains did not hang right or the phone was engaged when he tried to call, I cooked with too little meat or too much meat, I should bring his slippers before his meal.
The reason I stayed so long in the marriage was also because of such views like you have. You need to behave yourself, show more respect, all you educated girls etc, 
Then again I was too ashamed to tell most of what was going on.
After some years I developed health problems, my heart was racing constantly uncontrollably and I would get this feeling like I was not getting any air and was suffocating. I had a lump in my throat that would not go away.Then I did not know it was psychological and due to the stress. At that time in Nigeria, no one really paid attention to such things. Finally I got to about two doctors. One an ENT and he explained to me it was all in the mind to do with stress. The other doctor examined me, I said nothing to him, he asked me to bring my husband along. I told him he would not come. The doctor gave me one year and I would be gone, if I did not leave that man. That without me even telling him my problems.
Sorry this is so detailed, this is not meant to arouse sympathy or to condemn anyone, just to help. I got help from others who opened my eyes, that I was not to blame and that I could not change it and that thigs were happening that simply should not happen.
,

I will first like to point out that I am aware that some men have issues regarding domestic violence. I have never understood them but acknowledge that they exist. If a man needs to discipline his woman it should be limited to spanking her at most. Except she is trying to kill him he should never punch her.

I do sympathize with your ordeal. What I was pointing out though is the issue of fair hearing in the case of the original poster. If then the facts turn out to be something like what you went through, then yes the woman should run for her life.

johndoe200:

I will first like to point out that I am aware that some men have issues regarding domestic violence. I have never understood them but acknowledge that they exist. If a man needs to discipline his woman it should be limited to spanking her at most. Except she is trying to kill him he should never punch her.

I cant believe some men actually think this way. Spanking your wife? As your slave or Child
Women, ah , we don suffer. May God not let us meet men like you.

@Mutter
Was speechless after reading what u went thru. Thank God for giving u the courage to come out when u did.

@ Poster
Please tell your friend to learn from Mutter's xperience and make hay while the sun shines. Life does not have duplicate o. God forbid if anything happens to her, worst case the husband will mourn her for few months and remarry. Life will go on.

Oluchia:

I cant believe some men actually think this way. Spanking your wife? As your slave or Child
Women, ah , we don suffer. May God not let us meet men like you.

Sometimes women need it, it's just a fact.

johndoe200:

Sometimes women need it, it's just a fact.

So you won't mind if your daughter is battered by her husband?

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/7293046.html

http://news.myjoyonline.com/international/201008/51019.asp

http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/dvmemorial/

From domesticviolence.org ; In 1996, 30% of all female murder victims were killed by their husbands or boyfriends. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1997)
40% to 60% of men who abuse women also abuse children. (American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family, 1996)

johndoe200:

Sometimes women need it, it's just a fact.

Really And what about men What is their own punishment for misbehaving, having extramarital affairs, Bullying their wives, ? Nothing abi? The wife is supposed to bear it all and carry her cross, but when the reverse is the case she should be spanked. Pls dont even let me start.

Battering of women has become the order of the day. Some shameless, spineless, nitwits batter their wives for very minor reasons. Some men are so traditional that they always want to claim superiority over their wives. If men take care of their wives, their wives will always reciprocate the gesture. You dont maltreat a woman & expect her to love & care for you. The lady in question should go to Social Welfare & see what help can be rendered her. Also she needs a lawyer. She can not leave her child with such an irresponsible beast of a man. Do not stay a minute longer in that marriage because if you do, you may not live to take care of your child. We as christians should not encourage divorce. However where a lunatic such as the man in question is involved, dear women run for your dear life. Should the lady lose her life in the process of trying to save her marriage, her husband will not even mourn her (what for; after all when a woman dies the man would say she was a witch & deserved to die. When the man dies the woman would always be accused of being responsible for his death. God de na poor man prayer). Should the lady die, the man will re-marry, & the little child will suffer. Please leave the marriage & seek help for yourself & your child. A stitch in time saves nine. Wish her all the best.

Oluchia:

Really And what about men What is their own punishment for misbehaving, having extramarital affairs, Bullying their wives, ? Nothing abi? The wife is supposed to bear it all and carry her cross, but when the reverse is the case she should be spanked. Pls dont even let me start.

This is the natural order of things. Why do women want complain about it?

tunnytox:

So you won't mind if your daughter is battered by her husband?

Battered? Who said anything about battered?

There are some things the ears should not hear and the eyes should not read.
Your friend does not need a divorce.
She just needs to take her child and run out of the country period.
Far away from this monster of a man.

What a shame.

johndoe200:

I will first like to point out that I am aware that some men have issues regarding domestic violence. I have never understood them but acknowledge that they exist. If a man needs to discipline his woman it should be limited to spanking her at most. Except she is trying to kill him he should never punch her.
I do sympathize with your ordeal. What I was pointing out though is the issue of fair hearing in the case of the original poster. If then the facts turn out to be something like what you went through, then yes the woman should run for her life.

How do you 'spank' an adult like yourself?
This thread is sickening.

Divorce already

I have stumbed upon this article https://gaonlinedivorce.com/how-to-file-for-divorce-in-ga/ which describes the divorce procedure step by step so maybe it will work for you!

hmmmm, I won't be quick to judge, I need to hear from the husband, some wife's attitude are punch attracting. some wives are strongly abusive

.

Thanks for all of your replies (even for those that do not make sense)

your manners tho, if you know advice that makes sense you shouldn't be asking us for advice here. How come your friend allowed her friends (like you) give her marital advice, are you married to be able give such advice.

My Ex had a beautiful face, her friends advised her not to stick with me just because she's too beautiful and they feel she deserves 20 Lovers.


you female friends and how you ruin your friends relationships