XhosaNostra:
I was inside a taxi once when all of a sudden my stomach started churning & I got all sweaty. I knew it was a bad case of a stomach bug. I had to go! It was so urgent, I almost used my handbag as a toilet. Needless to say, I got off the taxi & ran into the nearest house to use the loo. I couldn't even see clearly, that's how terrible it was. I walked into this house & asked to use the toilet, without waiting for a reply I found it by myself. After I was done doing my business, the embarrassment & shame set it. It took me about 30 minutes to summon enough courage to walk out. I sheepishly made my way to the sitting room, quietly introduced myself & apologized for the intrusion The mother was very nice & understanding, fortunately

Hahahhaha hahahha
This is a testimony.

Shit business is serious business

XhosaNostra:
I was inside a taxi once when all of a sudden my stomach started churning & I got all sweaty. I knew it was a bad case of a stomach bug. I had to go! It was so urgent, I almost used my handbag as a toilet. Needless to say, I got off the taxi & ran into the nearest house to use the loo. I couldn't even see clearly, that's how terrible it was. I walked into this house & asked to use the toilet, without waiting for a reply I found it by myself. After I was done doing my business, the embarrassment & shame set it. It took me about 30 minutes to summon enough courage to walk out. I sheepishly made my way to the sitting room, quietly introduced myself & apologized for the intrusion The mother was very nice & understanding, fortunately

Lols. That's from Kuvukiland.

XhosaNostra:


Girl, I was pressed! It honestly crossed my mind. That's how bad I had it.

Hey! When you have to go, the impossible becomes possible .

You: shall I go in my bag ??
Bag: no way girl !
You: yes way !
Bag: mama

Athena4:
If you menstruate and you have never STARTED BLEEDING ALL OVER THE FUCKÎNG PLACE, IN PUBLIC.FAAAAR AWAY FROM ANY PAD WHATSOEVER.(because you weren't expecting aunty Flo so early) You never start be that. The thought of attempting to sit down is like contemplating suicide. This shît is one of the worst things on Earth.

You should have prepared yourself at least five days ahead...sorry

Well...mine was wen i newly gain admission in uniben,so it was after eco 111 at basement yesss still fresh like yesterday.i saw this georgous fair gal.so i won show myself i begin speak english mke i no sabi.i was like hi damsel hw are u,she said kul.wow...this gal is nice.are u in my department(biz admin)?i asked because dat course was both for biz admin,bfn and acc.she said yah she is in biz admin.i was like wow dats UNFORTUNATE.Who does dat.she was like unfortunate?u see urself,and walk out on me.men as i reach hostel na dive na i dive my dictionary to see the meaning of unfortunate.omo i realy mess up.i dorge that gal till i graduate.

[quote author=obembet post=77132424][/quote] babe you know I love you

stinjoe:
Honestly, failure to attend the call of nature at when due can embrass someone.
I didn't have enough rest before attending a vigil. "Please, you all should have your seat". Said the pastor. My people, i was sleeping peacefully while still standing up galantly. The rest they say, was history.
Please, drop yours let keep the fire burning.

Same thing happened to my younger brother.

We were having house fellowship and he was sleeping and my Popa told him to stand up.
Meanwhile,there was church service going on somewhere close to our street and the were using very loud speakers.
The pastor suddenly said," Praise the Lord" and my brother who was standing and sleeping at the same time said "Halleluyah!!!"''-

A hot sunny day, purge catch me I think that was the fourth time that day, I tot the third round was the end that day...

I took bike from class to the hostel (sweating)
Toilet was a mess and there was no water, I ran straight to the bush... Cleared my path into a safe zone for the stupid business.. Only to discovered that I cleared path through DEVILS BEAN plantation... With that sweat omo you know the rest of the story... #I will never forget

The day I honored this call on 3rd mainland bridge

had signs of stomach upset before I left the house for the market but ignored it...at market the thing started disturbing me but I somone controlled it. Finished my business at the market instead of me to go home went to friends house and started gisting after about an hour I decided to go home. Entered the first bus BOOM my stomach started singing I was sweating profusely. As I managed to reach bustop I rush entered keke drop which was like x4 of the normal amount I was suppose to pay..The mumu keke man instead of driving off was busy discussing with his friends till I told him my predicament. Half way to my house I couldn't hold it again. Told the kekeman to give me his oil gallon sw I can poo dere. The man just laffed and told me wait let him park near a bridge. As the man park am 100% sure I ran faster than usian bolt to the bush near the bridge to relieve mysef

That faithful day was I walking with a girl I just met �, and my stomach reacted, I couldn't tell her I was pressed, she only noticed I was walking faster than usual, and sweating profusely. immediately I got closer to a public toilet, I ran and left her... And the rest was history. I came back to apologise afterwards.

IamD18:
This is not my most embarrassing moment, but I'll like to share it.

Earlier this month in a gym house, I met a very beautiful and well-shaped lady and 2 of her friends. I got into discussion with 3 of them, as interesting and funny our discussion was, the one I was interested in jokingly came to me and sat on my laps, almost close to my diiick, I locked up. The more we gist, the more she shakes her ass, I got hard and uncomfortable, wanted to stand her up but thought it'll look embarrassing to her before her friends, I still locked up. She was putting on a hanging belly-button revealing sleeveless with a very tight leggings. Her nyash no dey stay one place, she dey gist with both mouth and nyash.

I was just so hard! I couldn't bear it any longer as I faked a call and jokingly tried to end the discussion, telling them that I'll be leaving to catch up on something. She stoop up, standing before me with a huge ass, she pleaded that I'll drop them off. As all these were happening, my diick was as erect as fvck, almost getting noticeable while seated that i can't even stand up before them. I obliged to her request, but was still seated.. I no wan cast myself by standing with my errected preeq because i was putting on sports trouser.

They were expecting me to stand but i pretended to be so weak and tired, hoping and looking for thoughts that will bring down my stubborn john-Thomas. As God may have it, immediately i thought of BUHARI and NNAMDI KANU, you need to see how my stubborn jnr dropped like music album, I smiled at them without them noticing the reason behind that smile, then stoop up and left with them.

Omo since that day, I no dey miss small mini-tight and Buhari picture anytime I dey go gym.

lmao una no go kill person for this NL

Mine was when i was serving as a corps member. Because I'm allergic to beans but that day i decided to eat it because i hadn't enough money to prepare rice and stew and allawi is far beyond reach. So while teaching my students in the class my stomach started rumbling, singing hymns. As if that was not enough, as i was about to exert force to release words from my mouth, yes i released words accompanied by a deadly missile(fart). Though i thought nobody noticed what happened, but one of my female students whose mother happens to be a nurse after the class politely called me and recommended a flagyl for me. That it would help.

mehn mine was with my ex oh..went to the mall after eating as much as we wanted and going to see a movie.. na so we board BRT. immediately I entered that BRT na so one hot zawo(shit) hold me...mehn it wasn't funny..I started sweating in a fully air conditioned BRT...na so she dey follow me talk I no fit reply, she even dey crack jokes I just dey try laff.. she noticed i was sweating profusely and asked. I told her I was fvcking pressed, na so she start laff me die...I almost told the driver to stop the fvcking bus..shame no allow me..na so I try reach my destination. I swear I thought I was going to die..and she was just laffing. after highlighting the bus, I saw a TFC close by,went there, if you see crowd waiting to use the toilet..I just decided to take a bike home..mehn anytime the bike enter pothole it'll be as though the poo wanted to drop..she was laffing so hard that the bikeman had to ask if everything was okay..to even matters worst, her Sist called her. while trying to remove her fone from her purse na so money her money fly from her purse into the air..she asked me to go down and help.her search for it..omoh na night time. as I reach the place, i just look around ,the shi*t no even let me see anything na so i go back tell her say I no see am..she insisted on going to look for it herself..omoh I told her I'll give her the money that we should just go home abeg..las las I couldn't survive it..I had to stop at a bush close to my house and downloaded the sh*t..mehn it was an heavenly feeling.. I just use cassava leaf..dispose the boxer when I reach house...chai I'll never forget that day just like I won't forget her.

I was travelling from Calabar to Ikom in a car,I sat at one side of the door ,an aboki was sitted in the middle ;because we were four at the back and two in front opposite driver.

At some point the aboki was acting somehow,next thing ...the dude threw up all over the place .He vomit on top of the guys in front and on his side to the left. See lambasting from driver and everyone .The car stopped and they all cleaned up.

We were around Ugep when this shiiit started to worry me.I didn't want to stop the driver because we had wasted much time and the others were already complaining.At a point, I couldn't take it anymore.I shouted "driver,driver stop! " I ran down like a fugitive and stormed into a compound where kids were playing football.There was bush beside the house,immediately I pulled, it came out watery so fast I wondered if I soiled my pants. The kids were astonished.I ordered them to get water ,I cleaned up and left for the car.

It was about 15mins ahead I touched my pocket to reach for my phone,I realised I had lost it in the bush.

My late teens...
I met a girl; Tall, dark skinned, slim and so beautiful, damn. She worked at a small food processing company. I do go to her office on my way home from work and hung around till she closes. One day, I went to visit her and her friend was around, so we were gisting as usual, then she came up to where i sat on the table and relaxed between my legs backing me.
The smell of her hair
Her long dark neck
Her soft body
Her soft round ass....Damn
Before I could say Jack, my preeq just woke up from hibernation. It was solid, like coke bottle solid and started caressing her back. It didn't take long before she noticed the unusual bump, turned around with her mouth agape. She looked at me and in the presence of her friend, poked it with her fingers and was like, "heyyyy, what is this, what is this". She made fun of my huge boner for over 2 minutes. I stood there motionless and embarrassed whilst growing harder at every poke.
I left her and went home, covering my bangdadadang with a handkerchief.
I was ashamed of seeing her again although she visited me in school after my industrial training to do some assignments and bible studies and that was it.
We never got to date.

Slayar:
I was travelling from Calabar to Ikom in a car,I sat at one side of the door ,an aboki was sitted in the middle ;because we were four at the back and two in front opposite driver.

At some point the aboki was acting somehow,next thing ...the dude threw up all over the place .He vomit on top of the guys in front and on his side to the left. See lambasting from driver and everyone .The car stopped and they all cleaned up.

We were around Ugeb when this shit started to worry me.I didn't want to stop the driver because we had wasted much time and the others were already complaining.At a point, I couldn't take it anymore.I shouted "driver,driver stop! " I ran down like a fugitive and stormed into a compound where kids were playing football.There was Bush beside the house,I entered and did my thing.The kids were astonished,I ordered them to get water ,I cleaned up and left for the car.

It was about 15mins ahead I touched my pocket to reach for my phone,I realised I had lost it in the bush.

I pee on myself while walking on a busy street and thank God it was raining that day so everything blended together

One day I dressed up for school, left home feeling dapper and on top of the world only to realize my zip was wide open and guess what? The boxer I was wearing is the type that has button space in front and since the button had sice fallen off, I guess it was free show for all.

Immediately I was alerted about my open air theater free show I realized all the people who had been smiling while greeting me actually thought I was dumb enough to pull some stunts with a thing like that.

Before I forget, it was a pretty lady that summed up courage and alerted me.

Ttrrffyyghuuh:



A very unNigerian Experience, in Nigeria, you'll poo on your body, or find the nearest bush around because nobody will allow a stranger come into their house to shit, , for all we know your shiit could be diabolical if nothing else ...lets not even talk of the fact that most houses have high fences, especially in city areas

In Nothern Nigerua is very possible but only to ladies

Was on PMT bus from calabar to lagos. Last december after calabar carnival Lo and behold i emptied my bowel before setting out and didnt eat but 2 slice of bread.

Between Imo and Abia i started feeling funny but i was just composing man i was sweating inside AC damn. It became worse when we were entering Abia and i knew my breaking point is near reach. The sweat was increasing so also d ache. I knew i wont make it to onitsha that way. As luck will have it i saw a military chexk point and as they waved our bus down for check etc i opened d door as per speed of lightening and i gyrated to the back of the soldier keeping sentry. I found a good harbour which z far from the passengers vantage point. Men it was a feeling of heaven letting out that mountain after like 5mins i appeared looking cook and calm i identified myself to the Sergeant in charge of the checkpoint and the people in d bus i guess had no idea the battle i went thru.


Since then i hardly eat 3 dags before a long journey unless an driving

Bucajunior:
Well...mine was wen i newly gain admission in uniben,so it was after eco 111 at basement yesss still fresh like yesterday.i saw this georgous fair gal.so i won show myself i begin speak english mke i no sabi.i was like hi damsel hw are u,she said kul.wow...this gal is nice.are u in my department(biz admin)?i asked because dat course was both for biz admin,bfn and acc.she said yah she is in biz admin.i was like wow dats UNFORTUNATE.Who does dat.she was like unfortunate?u see urself,and walk out on me.men as i reach hostel na dive na i dive my dictionary to see the meaning of unfortunate.omo i realy mess up.i dorge that gal till i graduate.

lmao!!!/

Slayar:
I was travelling from Calabar to Ikom in a car,I sat at one side of the door ,an aboki was sitted in the middle ;because we were four at the back and two in front opposite driver.

At some point the aboki was acting somehow,next thing ...the dude threw up all over the place .He vomit on top of the guys in front and on his side to the left. See lambasting from driver and everyone .The car stopped and they all cleaned up.

We were around Ugep when this shiiit started to worry me.I didn't want to stop the driver because we had wasted much time and the others were already complaining.At a point, I couldn't take it anymore.I shouted "driver,driver stop! " I ran down like a fugitive and stormed into a compound where kids were playing football.There was bush beside the house,immediately I pulled, it came out watery so fast I wondered if I soiled my pants. The kids were astonished.I ordered them to get water ,I cleaned up and left for the car.

It was about 15mins ahead I touched my pocket to reach for my phone,I realised I had lost it in the bush.

Lol i know that feeling when you reach your break point

XhosaNostra:
I was inside a taxi once when all of a sudden my stomach started churning & I got all sweaty. I knew it was a bad case of a stomach bug. I had to go! It was so urgent, I almost used my handbag as a toilet. Needless to say, I got off the taxi & ran into the nearest house to use the loo. I couldn't even see clearly, that's how terrible it was. I walked into this house & asked to use the toilet, without waiting for a reply I found it by myself. After I was done doing my business, the embarrassment & shame set it. It took me about 30 minutes to summon enough courage to walk out. I sheepishly made my way to the sitting room, quietly introduced myself & apologized for the intrusion The mother was very nice & understanding, fortunately

ShitI shiti mama

amaniro:
I remember when I was traveling to Umuahia some 5years ago. When we reached Lokoja I literally ate everything I saw. We reached Otukpa junction (Benue) omo my stomach no gree me I enter bush go discard. I used pure water... ewww

longest time. How u de nwa ibeku

DONADAMS:
mehn mine was with my ex oh..went to the mall after eating as much as we wanted and going to see a movie.. na so we board BRT. immediately I entered that BRT na so one hot zawo(shit) hold me...mehn it wasn't funny..I started sweating in a fully air conditioned BRT...na so she dey follow me talk I no fit reply, she even dey crack jokes I just dey try laff.. she noticed i was sweating profusely and asked. I told her I was fvcking pressed, na so she start laff me die...I almost told the driver to stop the fvcking bus..shame no allow me..na so I try reach my destination. I swear I thought I was going to die..and she was just laffing. after highlighting the bus, I saw a TFC close by,went there, if you see crowd waiting to use the toilet..I just decided to take a bike home..mehn anytime the bike enter pothole it'll be as though the poo wanted to drop..she was laffing so hard that the bikeman had to ask if everything was okay..to even matters worst, her Sist called her. while trying to remove her fone from her purse na so money her money fly from her purse into the air..she asked me to go down and help.her search for it..omoh na night time. as I reach the place, i just look around ,the shi*t no even let me see anything na so i go back tell her say I no see am..she insisted on going to look for it herself..omoh I told her I'll give her the money that we should just go home abeg..las las I couldn't survive it..I had to stop at a bush close to my house and downloaded the sh*t..mehn it was an heavenly feeling.. I just use cassava leaf..dispose the boxer when I reach house...chai I'll never forget that day just like I won't forget her.

That lady z a friend ooooo plz keep her. Some gf wont find it funny

Gracesofar:



That lady z a friend ooooo plz keep her. Some gf wont find it funny

lol...she's now an EX

Mine was the first day at a church in Sokoto... During the service, I could feel my stomach rumbling. I didn't care, I tot I could hold it till when I got home... Na so service extend till 1 o... After service I was just looking for the loo upandan, found it and discovered I had to go fetch water near the entrance of the church to go... Got to the entrance to fetch water, Na so pastor pikin com greet fyn boy o... 2 of them... I couldn't tell them I was pressed neither could I go to the loo... I was just there nodding and sweating... As dem see say I no talk anything Na I just dey nod, dem catch road... The way I take fly enter eh...



The second one was in school,durning my ND 1 days in the Polytechnic of Sokoto... Ate beans before I left home to school, got to school and was pressed like madt during one of our classes. After class, I left with one of my friends to use the toilet in 'minimart', the guy was walking slow, gave him my bag and ran to the shop (the shop owner built a toilet but you had to pay to use), got there and told him I needed the keys to the toilet, Na so this man say na #200 o... I looked at the wall where he pasted the price it was #50 he wrote there, I looked at him and said 'sir, give me the keys'. He repeated himself saying 'I say na #200 o', Na so I shout, 'Give me keys Na'... Girls dey o, but that day eh, e pass my power...


Last one.... Was booked to write the entrance exams for Nigerian Army recruitment for someone, it was a last minute booking thing... So on the said day Na, I dey house dey flex, the guy who I wanted to write for came to meet me around 7 in the morning (I was supposed to be there by 6) and begged me to go with him... When we got there, we were late already, and we were told to frog jump. The distance for frog jumping wasn't supposed to be that far, but as the man see my face Na (he knew u came for someone) he told a soldier to make sure I frog jumped to the gate and back (e be like 4-5) times the distance. The soldier follow m with flogging go and com... As I reach eh, I just lie down flat for ground, e no reach 5 minutes, I stand go sh*t... One girl wey I bin dey trip for dey look me through out the ordeal... I nearly die so I no send... I no even fit look the girl eye to eye again... (I no write the exams o, I just tell the guy say I Don pass out as I dey like this...)

I was sleeping in the class and was dreaming of me being in a party with this beautiful lady wit swt and big bum bum , I mean big nyash wey make sense, I approached her for a dance and we started dancing when she started using that load at her back to rotate my anaconda, I mean my buratanchi, I mean my preeck both clockwise and anti clockwise , I started shouting in the dreaming and it was as loud as my imam calls for prayers in reality that baby give it to me, baby give it to me , hmm, swt nyash, I must test this Toto tonight, baby wine my preeck more and more, ur toto will notnsour insha Allah before tomorrow morning and all my class mates were on the floor laffing just as my mathematics teacher could no longer tolerate my disturbance , I was waken up with a stroke of cain.




Una think say na only una Sabi LIE ko ??

Na gai chai ka for reading tru


Thank u

mine was the worn came out half way from my anus and was tickling me,I have to use my hand to put out in public cause i could not bear it anymore, then i was in JSS class