onions:

She confided in me that immediately after the wedding he started keeping late night without telling her where he's been. It's so confusing to her bc she talked to him and asked him what the problem was,but that made him more angry. He stopped confiding in her so she can't tell if there is anything bothering him.

He forces her to have intimacy at the end of the day.

baby.me:

This sounds too hard to believe. Maybe he's passing thru some stress at work

rokiatu:

or maybe his real self has just started to show.

@POSTER, Picture marriage as this:  coming home after a very hard day work/a party/a very stressful situation
you know how you relax and feel at home? Thats marriage. You are at your comfortable best nothing to hide,
and nothing to be afraid of. Thats why wiser people always say "it takes more than love to make a marriage work"
(trust me I believe it.) Marriage is not a straight line to the happily ever after.

I advice your friend also look closely at her own flaws, Who knows she may also be at fault.
Sometime we are so blinded by our flaws that all we are others flaws. She also needs to
understand that the intense mutual attraction , lots of time together, intense mutual longing. ,  feelings of butterfly in
stomach etc, put together is called "romantic love" not a life time phenomenon. Let her keep her expectation realistic.

onions:

I'm back bc i relly on this forum for candid advice. A friend of mine got married barely 8months ago,and the guy was sweet back then. But after the wedding the guy changed completely. He gets angry easily,beats her up,lock her out of their bedroom,and only talk to her when he wants sex. She is so stressed and im afraid she may break down. What should she do? Can she resolve the marriage based on physical and sexual abuse? Pls i need candid advice

He sounds like Fred Flintstone to me 

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
IMHO
this is what happen when people are rushing into marriage with strangers!
she is discovering THE REAL GUY she married, not the phoney that was doing all kinds of acrobatic dance moves to woo her.
it cant possibly be stress at work etc because when he wants something from the gal (sex) then he knows how to be nice again thus stress has nothing to do with it, he just genuinely dislike that gal.

like someone said earlier, could be that he married her as a second/third choice just to please family and friends.

aisha2:

First of all, please never blame a woman who is being battered, there is no excuse to raise your hand against another adult.
Secondly, i will advise your friend to be more open on the root cause of his behavior, or does he just suddenly turn a beast? If he batters her, i advice for now she goes home and let their relatives handle it, if not he will send her home in a casket. I have seen this many times, beaten wife, keeps quiet and just stays submissive, she dies of a fractured brain of cause the relatives will hide the actual cause o[b]r she dies from pregnancy induced [/b]hypertension because she is afraid that when she gives birth the beating will continue. Women please stand up for each other, if another woman is being battered dont blame her or excuse the mans behavior, adults settle differences amicably not by beating each other like goats or donkeys. Please be her friend, help her stay away from him for now, till he can learn to control his temper, they need couseling and help, both of them.

chyz:

He sounds like Fred Flintstone to me 

[img]http://kw53.files./2010/03/flintstonesprowler2-3.jpg?w=300&h=225[/img]

onions:

This is not a joke,someone's life is in danger.

onions:

Yes,here in Nigeria.

onions:

^^^^^
She is pregnant. 3months

onions:

^^^^^
She is pregnant. 3months

onions:

They are not strangers to each other. They dated for 3yrs. The most painful part is that he's not even nice when he wants s.ex. He practically r.a.pes her everyday. Im afraid she may break down very soon.

Ujujoan:

C'mon, she dated him for three years and only realized he was a bully the month after they got married? She is either really dumb or living in a fool's paradise. I bet he was beating her even before they got married.

I always tell people that marriage is not by force. She forced herself to marry him and now she wants him to change by some miraculouse explianation. It doesnt work that way. She mad her bed, she should lie on it!

spikedcylinder:

And? That's enough reason for what exactly?
Are there no family members she can report him to?

MRbrownJAY:

dont you think that "reporting"him to family members is simply showing that monster that she cant do anything about it by herself THUS giving that guy more heart to do his evil deeds behind close doors?