comradee1248:
Pls divorce him before he kills you, and if you need a kids as a single mother get a sperm donor... I m very very fertile

Fertile kee u dia!

luminouz:

Bcuz I know say u no get liver noni...u be gentle osun babe

no talk that one, u no fit handle me ooo

luminouz:

Now u are talking. I hope u meet the special type of Nigerian men!

I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Thank you.

i felt for you when i started reading but when i caame across this line i have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious you reminded me of my ex girlfriend who i was so serious about but wasn't serious about me so life is giving you a taste of your medicine and guess what?
mr karma just came after you

ninnie:
I left a very abusive marriage too and I deeply understand. I will be happy to share my story and encourage you too. I'm better off today. If you want to talk pls email me as i have sent you a mail.

Pls be strong

Pls create a thread and share it oooooo...I wanna learn

comradee1248:
Pls divorce him before he kills you, and if you need a kids as a single mother get a sperm donor... I m very very fertile

the only problem be sey you worwor, any pikin wey dem born with your sperm Oshiomole go fine pass am

habeesola:
no talk that one, u no fit handle me ooo

Yinmu...enu nikan lo ni jare

luminouz:

Pls create a thread and share it oooooo...I wanna learn

amebo

freecocoa:
I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Thank you.

Good...
See how nice sounding u are now eh,it fits u

BABANGBALI:
amebo

Lol,I wanna learn ooo

luminouz:

Pele o bisola,

hmmmmmmm toasting wan start. Make I sidon here dey monitor una

luminouz:

Fertile kee u dia!

no mind Mr fatai fertile

BABANGBALI:
the only problem be sey you worwor, any pikin wey dem born with your sperm Oshiomole go fine pass am

people are talking how will a gorilla chip in? I don't blame you I blame nairaland for allowing apes like you to mingle with sensible humans, you are lucky I answered you coz I won't do that again I can't waste time talking to an ape

freecocoa:
You no even understand, you no fit see me carry, talk more of to take me go do ritual, see you.

no be you be dis wey I dey see for mirror? E be like sey you no wan sleep tonight, no let me send you on errand tonight o. Forget about holy ghost power. Na we get night time

comradee1248:
people are talking how will a gorilla chip in? I don't blame you I blame nairaland for allowing apes like you to mingle with sensible humans, you are lucky I answered you coz I won't do that again I can't waste time talking to an ape

e pain am. Mr fertile

luminouz:

Yinmu...enu nikan lo ni jare

I sha get something ( enu), dat one self don do, I fit use am spoil person life and i fit use am safe you

Elesta:

OK. thanks

Please disregard him...he was just trying to be funny. Cheers.

habeesola:
I sha get something ( enu), dat one self don do, I fit use am spoil person life and i fit use am safe you

Lol,na true u talk o

baby124:
Lol. Pastors strike again! My dear take some time to really think of you can survive being married to this guy for 20-40yrs. Observe him closely and see if there are places you can work on your marriage. It seems like you can have conversations with him. It also seems he can show remorse, like after you caught him cheating.

You stayed with him after the slap. Though I suspect your recent thoughts and actions towards him are,as a result of your resentment of him for the slap. Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel? Plus how he should never lay his hands on you ever again? Please address that situation and grow from it.

As for weekend waking up, if you can afford it, get a maid or a cook. If you can’t, just go and buy moi moi and rest the matter or you cook the breakfast Friday evening and freeze. It’s because you dated for one month that you people are going through relationship struggles in marriage.

If you took your time to get to know this man, you will have discovered all these before marriage. As for the insults due to a lack of children, advise him to go and seek help for his issue.

It could even be that he knows he has this issue, which is why he was looking for pastor to link him up with marriage. Most men do this if they have a problem. The Only men who can get away with this in my books, are fellow pastors and church workers. You really need to talk to him about hitting you and the verbal abuse. Talk calmly. If he insults you again, make sure you remind him that he has low sperm count! If he hits you again, please run away from the situation. Goodluck. No need wasting your time with an ungrateful person who puts his shortcomings on others. Even an 18yr old virgin will not get pregnant from low sperm count issues.

The both of them should go for medical checks. So let the doc gives is final case to their unwillingly to bear offspring.

Elesta:

I cooked rice d previous evening and I told him to please just warm it in d morning since he likes eating early, that was another problem ohmhe said, how can I b telling him to warm food.Imagine.I am living with a lunatic

I read psychology and going by this very comment here, I am tempted to say that even though your hubby according to you has his anomalies, you are a toxic woman who is playing the victim card and looking for sympathy! And experience has taught me to take stories like yours with a pinch of salt until I hear from the man's side!

Deepfeel:

Hmm am glad you know all these, don't worry you will be fine without him

.
If it's in the western world. She'd definitely be fined. But here in Nigeria looks terrible. Beside age isn't in her side. You know how Nigeria men do love dating and marrying young lady. So my advice to her is for her to look for a liable solution to sort out her marital problems. The problems of not having an offspring seems like the greatest of them all. You could carry out an IVF and see if that yield something prolific. If you can't cope with the marriage. It's best you depart now before he turns you to a punching bags. I'm only curious about her age. So any decision she takes right away could defy the rest of her life.

skales67:



I read psychology and going by this very comment here, I am tempted to say that even though your hubby according to you has his anomalies, you are a toxic woman who is playing the victim card and looking for sympathy! And experience has taught me to take stories like yours with a pinch of salt until I hear from the man's side!

You got a point man

youngest85:
I stopped reading when I read ' he begged me and pastor begged me'
They begged you to embark on a life time journey in which you are not interested in partner?

Loool
You harsh o

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

This one is serious.

With 10 pages of different opinions, suggestions and ideas.

I cannot read 10 pages of different and diverse opinions so I guess someone somewhere would have said the same thing.

1. Have you reported the abuses you currently suffered to your local pastor who recommend him as a good suitor for you?

2. Did you bother to ask or have you ever asked anyone in his department/unit about his person, behaviour etc.

3. The message you stumbled upon, is it after your marriage or before your marriage?

Your marriage from day one is like National Geographic's program called "Seconds From Disaster".

Everything from the begin is doom to fail to be honest with you. No matter how big or large your organization is, you should have done some due diligence on him at work outside church before you ever introduce him to your Daddy?

You don't really known the person you married and he also doesn't know the person he married. Also 2 adults (both of you) are behaving childish and badly.

There was NO "courtship - a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship before getting married." between you 2 before and after wedding.

The first year of marriage is the hardest and the first 5 years is the toughest because that is the period you have to make several adjustments. Almost everyone (including me) almost dump ship in the first year of being married.

You don't KNOW him, yet you marry HIM and yet you haven't make an attempt to know HIM (From your story, I didn't see any proof of that). Lemme give you some examples, I know what pissed off my Wifey, When I feel like looking for her TROUBLE, I know what to do and when I have enough, I know what to do to restore peace without a 3rd party involvement. I didn't date her for 5 years but I put effort in knowing her and I am still putting more effort to understand her on a daily basis.

You for some obvious reason don't KNOW who you married and I cannot see anywhere stated in your story that you are making effort to know HIM. All I see are your good reasons to dump the marriage.

With (EFFECTIVE) communication, comes understanding. Without knowledge of HIM that you married, how would you understand him and how in the name of GOD did you allow a Pastor choose a husband for you at this age and time?

I personally wouldn't accept or tolerate "Domestic Violence", so he beating you no matter the provocation is immature. Also you engaging your legally married husband to a stage you get slapped shows some stages of immaturity in you.

THERE CAN NEVER BE 2 BOSS IN A CAR. When he his HOT, you need to be COLD. HOT vs. HOT is a recipe for disaster.

Either both of you side down and take time to understand each other better in order to make things works or you just go your separate ways.

You are also torturing him emotionally, like he his torturing you emotionally because both of you are TOTAL STRANGERS LIVING TOGETHER.

If the torturing is going physical, you need help and you need it fast. You also need to know what you did or doing to trigger such response although NO responsible and mature MAN would ever beat a women especially your WIFE.

So my advise to you, You either take time to know and understand the MAN you married, or you find a good & genuine excuse to end the marriage.

Your words:If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake.

My advice:be anxious for nothing but by prayer and supplication make your request known unto God and he shall give u peace that is beyond human understanding

Pls get out of that marriage.......

All I see is two people unfit for themselves. Woman is a feminist while man is trying to be seen as a "man"

dingbang:
All I see is two people unfit for themselves. Woman is a feminist while man is trying to be seen as a "man"

You don’t and won’t know what a feminist looks like if she sat on your face.

baby124:

You don’t and won’t know what a feminist looks like if she sat on your face.

my friend get lost!

Timbuktuo:
This is so sad. You married somebody you know absolutely nothing about, and whose lifestyle is obviously not compatible with yours.

You don't even sound like you like this dude, so, I don't know what you thought was going to happen. This is desperation mixed with foolishness and timidity.

Good news is you can always divorce him. Nothing will happen. Heaven will not fall.

What I find most disturbing, however, is the weakness of your will and character. In this day and age, societal and biological pressure is the last reason you should get married. Perhaps, you've lost your self esteem, perhaps you never had it.

One wonders

Its easy for you to type all the things above because you dont know how it feels for a lady to be single in her mid thirties.

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I
Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

/
There is no cause for alarm. Natural selection exists for a reason--to weed out weak links to human existence to create room for more formidable and productive members of the society to thrive. Apparently your existence is of no value to you. So continue in the relationship until the inevitable happens. Of course, those who will type "R.I.P" are not in short supply.

Say hi to my ancestors when you get there.

/

youngest85:
I stopped reading when I read ' he begged me and pastor begged me'
They begged you to embark on a life time journey in which you are not interested in partner?

As in u get point...your pastors are not God..they are humans like you they make mistakes too....God first in anything u do..seek the holy ghost.....it's a lifetime journey that has huge impact on ur going to heaven....so nobody should cajole you into doing things...
Now my advice goes thus...
Don't ever call your husband an animal... mummy don't try it again...it was your decision to marry him...so wherever you are right now is due to the decision you made ...so respect your decision ma'am..no wonder in church wedding service..the pastor in charge will ask you **are you sure you want to make this man ur husband??**...
So mummy... now that you are married and can not unmarry yourself....give everything to God.....
God will give you a child definitely because u are in need of it...
Call your husband and cry to him and tell him you know he needs a child...there is a way u can talk to him...then u both pray together.... marriage is all about togetherness in love...God will definitely give you if u both can come together as one...
Thank you

It's all storms for God's glory to be proclaimed. Please, go back to God in prayers and expose the devil through marriage counselors. Please don't hide, there is no shame in being open. Please meet with Godly marriage counselors and committees. God grant you victories on all sides, amen...