Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot - Romance - Nairaland
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| Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 10:18pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Hello my fellow Nairalanders. Hope you all are well today. There is something I would like to ask you all. This is a serious question, so honest answers are highly appreciated. Question [for men]: This question is based on a thread that I saw earlier that pertained to Nigerians dating. I have notice that some people on NL don't see dating in the western sense. Some Nigerian men think its ok to be with someone and still have s.ex with other people while still being with one person but not telling the person that they are supposedly "dating". I've noticed though that no one has referred to it as an open relationship. I'll see people starting topics about being with a girl and having s.ex others on the side but not wanting to consider it cheating since their not married to the person. For example in the thread where the girl said she found condoms in her boyfriends car, I noticed a lot of guys said that is they guy in question had in deed cheated on her that it was ok because he's "technically" single because he wasn't married to the girl. So now, my question to you men is, if the shoe were on the other foot and your supposed girlfriend behaved or did the exact same thing that you do, how would you feel? Would you be ok with it? Does it make a difference to you? If yo why or why not? Question [for women]: When you hear men on Nairaland using excuses such as the one I have stated in my first question to the men, how does it make you feel? Does it affect how you treat men? Does it have any baring on how you interact with men? |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by 190: 10:26pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO, The minute my GF cheats on me, or tries to exchange that shoe, I would send her to KIRIKIRI for murdering my heart and she would stay there for life!!  Bad radiance to good rubbish |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by AqRiUsAge(f): 10:27pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Kudos to you, Inked. Question [for women]:When you hear men on Nairaland using excuses such as the one I have stated in my first question to the men, how does it make you feel? It makes me feel like the said men lack integrity and because they're from where am from (i.e they're a product of our society, culture and "nuture"  , we (as a people) have failed our men. Somewhere along the line, we miseducated them and some are too weak and too independent in their thoughts to take the initiative to correct our mistake, and educate themselves.Does it affect how you treat men? Does it have any baring on how you interact with men? Absolutely. I used to try t convince such said men, now, I know better. Now, I steer clear of them. I'm too busy trying to actualize myself to be bothered with trying to make blind men see. Besides, you'd be suprised how contagious some opinions are. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Specialist900(m): 10:39pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
inked, finally. Topic. In the african perspective a man is always the man, there are acts commited by men that are overlooked, e.g infidelity in marriages. Tho not 100 percent overlooked but the man still win the case, turning the table the woman will be at the man's mercy. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by nanidee(f): 10:40pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Well, i'll say it does affect the way I treat them. It only makes me more "weary" of guys, in the sense that it makes it harder to believe anything that comes out of their mouths, having it at the back of my mind that they may be telling 3-4 other girls the same thing too. Men seem to have this huge ego, which makes them feel they can do whatever they like and get away with it  , (i never give room for such anyway, you mess up, and i kick you out. )So, my answer to your question is YES, it does affect the way I treat them.  |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Nobody: 10:42pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Here we go again the Infamous Men Cheating Champion and Women Sl*ts honestly i thought this was dead everyone cheats regardless of sex, just don't cheat and u won't get cheated on(Fingers Crossed). |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Nobody: 10:44pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
if the shoe were on the other foot and your supposed girlfriend behaved or did the exact same thing that you do, how would you feel? Would you be ok with it? Does it make a difference to you? If yo why or why not? Well i dont Cheat so can't answer this, also this question is carefully engineered to insinuate that all Men Cheat, that blows |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Nobody: 10:48pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
^no, not all men All Nigerian Men this na JAMB question, i must say as for me, am a one-woman man so, |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Dsense(m): 10:50pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Waoh .that's a good question and i'm jealous.lol. Well to the question u just threw.I personally can think of cheating on ma gal but wouldn't conduct it as in i can be saying it just to upgrade ma stock when with friends but it's hard to practise it since i can not tolerate it from her side.But if i should remain calm, faithful and honest to her this way ''Are u there''.lol.then later i found out she's been cheating on me.hahah'' let's reserve it''. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Nobody: 10:55pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Not all Nigerian men cheat Nigerian priest are exceptions so that debunks yours topic |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by abioila(m): 10:56pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
There is dis Nigerian mentality dat it's a taboo for women to cheat but men can get away with some.i tink it's down to d tought dat women are vry faithful and shudnt be caught cheatin whereas d man who is considered relatively unfaithful gets away with d same kind of ofence.i tink it applies to evrione even u.let me tel u dis-if i were to catch ma father cheating on my mum i tink i would just get angry for a few days nd eventually let go not witout 'taxing' him though,but if i caught ma mum,mehn i dnt tink i wil eva 4give her likewise u. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 11:01pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
AqRiUs Age: Thank you Specialist900:  pc guru: pc guru: I wasn't insinuating that all men cheat. That wasn't the purpose of my thread. Of course both sexes cheat. I have said that time and time again. That's why I worded it in the manner that I did. Although at times, I do engage in threads that "bash men", it was not the purpose of my question. My observation and questions were based on another thread that I saw a few days ago. This is no way an attack on anyone of your gender. Besides, I figured I'd hear what guys on Nairaland had to say about this. D-sense: lol, don't be jealous .pc guru: Did I, at any point in time say that ALL Nigerian men cheat? No. What I said was SOME. Please go back look at the wording. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Nobody: 11:03pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
my bad, i take that back read too many gender bashing thread i just assume this was another one, |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 11:06pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
pc guru: Its ok. Trust me, I am in no way trying to bash men. If there's something I've learned from my parents, its that there's "bad people" of all sorts. I love my Naija brothers and I am in no way trying to hurt any of you with my topic. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 11:09pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
190: 190, if I may ask, why is it ok for you to sow your oats but not for your girlfriend? What makes it ok for you and not her? How is she any different from you? |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Specialist900(m): 11:12pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
pc guru:which priest are exception? Do you live with them. One can only vouch for himself and not someother person cos they can disappoint you anyday. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by googles: 11:20pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Does it affect how you treat men? Does it have any baring on how you interact with men? From all I av gathered on NL, most of this guys come here to brag and talk about lives they wish they have/had . . . . so I dont take watever they say to heart so I dont allow their pinch of salt talks to corrupt/cloud my thinking When you hear men on Nairaland using excuses such as the one I have stated in my first question to the men, how does it make you feel? Its the bandwagon effect so i usually form no opinions at all on wat they post. . . . once a thread starts and two guys post sommin somewat convincing on it the others support not minding if its right or not. . . i only wish some can stop the bandwagon thing and think on their own,form their opinions and post not "seconding" other pple's opinion |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by 190: 11:23pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Inked_Nerd:  It makes no sense hurting the ladies/Gurlfriend But i guess thats how the society has set things aside for, A man is allowed to cheat and can go scout free wiv it But the minute a woman does that, she's labeled a HOE, Inkerd thats just the way the society see things |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Specialist900(m): 11:29pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
190:exactly. Until a rebranding is done in our subconscious it will remain that way. I am not saying it is good for a man to cheat talk more a woman, all i'm saying the society frowns more when a woman cheats. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 11:33pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
190: Ok then, according to Merriam-Webster, society is: SOCIETY:1: companionship or association with one's fellows : friendly or intimate intercourse : company So if that is the case then I guess by definition, you are society. Your use of the word society makes it seem as though it is some sort of detached being or establishment that has given you the ok to behave in the manner that you justify. Anyway, even if it "society" that you want to blame, does that make it ok? As a free thinking individual, can you not change or alter this belief that you seem to think has been instilled in you? Just curious. By the way, there are many more options for the definition of society, so feel free to add your own two cents to the response. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by daduke2k(m): 11:47pm On Oct 08, 2010 |
Erm my coment on diz thread comez later. Brb inked |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 12:37am On Oct 09, 2010 |
Okie dokie. Take your time |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by daduke2k(m): 2:06am On Oct 09, 2010 |
Question [for men]: So now, my question to you men is, if the shoe were on the other foot and your supposed girlfriend behaved or did the exact same thing that you do, how would you feel? I wuld feel real bad abt it. Bt u knw dwn here gurls are automaticaly labeld hoez if found in d act. Sory 4 digrezin. 2. Would you be ok with it? No i wuldnt be. I d feel very horrible. Does it make a difference to you? Yes it does because shez a gurl. If yo why or why not? Question [for women]: When you hear men on Nairaland using excuses such as the one I have stated in my first question to the men, how does it make you feel? Does it affect how you treat men? Does it have any baring on how you interact with men?[/font][/size] [quote][/quote] |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by Tinksh(f): 2:17am On Oct 09, 2010 |
190, thats rubbish that itys society. Its each individuals choice. Guys just say thatt cos it gives them the ok to do it. And not all societies. People cheat everywhere i know but its not accepted here. If a guy/girl cheats they are like lepers, for a while anyway. Good question Inked, finally something to comment on thats real. Yes it does affect the way i see men. I dont trust any of them. I do believe that a lot of guys here are blowing it out their butts and are acting all tough but really they are whipped, hehe!! But i do see guys as untrustworthy until proven different. I dated a Nigerian guy but now think if there is a next time it will be with someone from here cos the freedom that these guys talk about cheating and women is not a good advertisment to other people from other cultures. Its a shame that a whole culture gets a bad name from a few but i wonder if it is a few or a majority. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by daduke2k(m): 2:24am On Oct 09, 2010 |
Itz a few dear. Just a few, we aint al lyk dat. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 3:51am On Oct 09, 2010 |
@Tink_sh: Thanks @daduke2k: So what's your take on all of this? |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by daduke2k(m): 3:58am On Oct 09, 2010 |
I dnt get what u want me 2 modify there. Can u point it out 4 moi. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 4:00am On Oct 09, 2010 |
I didn't ask you to modify anything. I was curious to know your opinion. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by daduke2k(m): 4:08am On Oct 09, 2010 |
Owwkk. My opinon is dat men cheat yeah bt datin in d 9ja sense is just whack. D normal routine is just 2 get a gurl laid regardles of being in a r/ship same wit dem gurlz too. Did i make any sense there? |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 4:35am On Oct 09, 2010 |
Yeah, I got what you're saying |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by citous(m): 4:45am On Oct 09, 2010 |
Our society is structured in such a way that the man gets away with things that a lady don't get away with. This inbred mentality moves down from generation to generation. When my gf cheated on me, it wasn't the same after that and we never recovered from there. That indirectly led to our separation. Sex wasn't same to me cos I kinda felt she had been violated. It sounds weired tho cos she was not a virgin when we met but that didnt matter until she did it during our time. |
| Re: Switching Roles/Shoe On The Other Foot by InkedNerd(f): 4:53am On Oct 09, 2010 |
cito us: Hmmm, interesting. Sorry to hear that. Things like that don't usually end well. Just curious, would it have made a difference if she was a virgin? If so, then why? Off topic: I'd like to apologize about a comment I made earlier on a previous thread. I misread, misquoted, and got it mixed up with something else. I hope you can accept my apology  . |
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