apocalypse:

Let's make this interesting

Ladies if you were my girlfriend how would you feel if your intended mother-in-law did this to you.
I'd also like to know from the ladies , would you do such to your sons girlfriend in his home.
For the guys just answer it from my perspective

apocalypse:

Let's make this interesting

Ladies if you were my girlfriend how would you feel if your intended mother-in-law did this to you.
I'd also like to know from the ladies , would you do such to your sons girlfriend in his home.
For the guys just answer it from my perspective

apocalypse:

@ chaircover :
I thank you so much for all you have said. I'd never talk back to my mum rudely even if I were insane , I can only try to explain to her how I feel about her approach and if she fails to see reason I'll just have to live with it.
I know mum wants the best for me and I appreciate her concern but I'd be happier if she can direct all the rebuke to me , I have lived with her all my life and I can tolerate her. It's quite differend for someone coming from a softer background. Like I said my girlfriend is afraid my mum might still want to dictate what goes on in the home after we are married

apocalypse:

@ dayokanu
lol. I looked back and I remembered all what my mum went through to raise me. I had a difficult childhood :
I was born premature @ seven months
I didn't start talking until way past my third birthday altho I understood all words spoken to me , needless to say I had a speech problem
I was always falling ill in boarding school so she had to put me in a day school close to home so she could tend to me.
Being her last issue , I'd like to see it as being her only issue cos of the stress she went thru raising me , she took special care in raising me.

What was I even thinking

Princek12:

You should put your mom in the place where she belongs. Even if your mom finds offensive your girlfriend's extended stay at your place, your mom exceeded her powers by driving her out. I presume your mom pays no bills and is not responsible for the upkeep of your residence, so your mom has impermissibly invaded your personal space by deciding how long your girlfriend can stay in your own house.
Be cautioned that your mom's nosy behavior presages more invasion into other private areas of your relationship, even when and if you become married. As such, don't be shocked when she later comes in your eventual matrimonial home and dictates to your wife, for example, the kind of clothes to wear and how she should wash the dishes.

asha 80:

+1

The people supporting the mother do not seem to realize the problem that is going to brew in the future here.From the poster's history it seems that the mum has had a very great control over his life till now that she cannot really believe that the son is now a grown up.

Why not sit the guy down or both the guy and girl and voice her views?By the action she just took she has zilch confidence in the ability of the boy to make his own decisions.Also going by the the way he was brought up he seems like a classic mummy's boy.How many ladies to be honest want a typical mummy's boy?

It is good that the mum went through a lot for him but there comes a time to draw the line.

ifyalways:

I dont see this problem u guys are seeing.
The poster did not say the mum threw out the girl.
The mum told the girl to stop sleeping over till they are legally married.
Now,which mum in Nigeria wud not say that,not to talk one that is born again  
The GF prolly filled with guilt,got ashamed of herself,packed her things and left.
You ppl need to show me how that describes to being bossy  

there seems to be in the posters mind that he has been caged by the mum activities for a long time

tpiah:

since when?

when she was changing his diapers?





everybody should move on abeg.

the guy should let it go and be wiser next time.

the girl should overlook it since what the mother was telling her was for her own good. Did she not know the mum was religious?

yes, his mum was rather direct. Older people can be that way even though it's annoying.

asha 80:

Read the guys post in detail to understand what i am saying.

yeah everyone should move on.i guess we all can behave anyway we want without minding the cosequences on what we are doing.

me think it is a privilege to have a mom like her

Am Married, anybody that comes to my house no-matter the relationship, you're a stranger and you have no right to decide in my house. whether you like it or not, you have to abide on what you see or

omogidi234:

@ poster, I noticed u are more disposed favourably to those who hold the same view as urs as per your mom being old school. me think it is a privilege to have a mom like her, most people don't have mom (either they are dead or they have abadoned their wards). forget about the approach and think about the intention.

johnwell:

From the look of things and as a man, the mum is wrong, she should have discuss this with the son. it is the son that brought this lady, not the mum, she has no power to do what she did, she was wrong, except she wants to or she is married to the son.

Am Married, anybody that comes to my house no-matter the relationship, you're a stranger and you have no right to decide in my house. whether you like it or not, you have to abide on what you see or ,

In addition, if in-case the son gets married to this lady how do you think the family will be? will there be peace between the parties involve? we all should let our mothers know that; when they come our house, whosoever, whatever the see they should let it be or they ask their child what they don't understand.

"sosongo k'mkpanutong"

asha 80:

Ify read the poster's posts carefully.It is not just this incident but there seems to be in the posters mind that he has been caged by the mum activities for a long time.Agreed that the mum took good care for him and even suffered for him but there poster also seems to feel that he needs some space in his life.I do not know about ladies but as a guy i know that feeling of wanting to do your own thing without the feeling that your mum is breathing down your neck.In one of his posts he said that the mums actions prevented him from being streetwise and i guess for him to say that he is a bit dissappointed in that.

The guy says he is in his early thirties so there is that urge in him to feel independent.This action by mum has deflated that a bit and if you are a man you must know how it feels.The issue here is the approach by the mum in doing it.i personally believe the best approach is calling the man aside and telling him how she felt about the whole situation and reasons for feeling so.A man must never be made to feel he is incapable on managing his home in a blatant manner his own unless he admits it.

asha 80:

This statement is what differenciates a matured way of handling issues and an immature way of also doing so.

Amychike:

your girlfriend should have left immediately your Mum came.It shows respect.

ifyalways:

Very sick.
If your mum comes to your house and sees u sleeping-with a mad woman she wud keep quiet?
Heavens be praised,u are married and hopefully have kids. .
i dont know what u guys are fabricating,the mum and the sons GF have not had any problem b4.
Arrgh,cos we are priviledged to enjoy freedom and our eyes are open one shld just flush down decency down the drain   Dont imagine things.
I dont how or saw where the OP said he felt or think that hes caged by the mum.
i dont still see how her mums action translated to "hes not man enough to run his home"
Lets just deal with the matter as it is.she talked to the girl,she did NOT throw her out puleaseeee.
[b]Tell me Asha,if your mum comes to your house and see a girl sleeping over,what wud she do?so now the mum is immature  [/b]Jeez !
This woman has always been a strict woman who calls a spade a spade unlike most of us here.
O ma se oo.

tpiah:



if you're married, that's a different kettle of fish.

the guy in question is not married.

omogidi234:

@ poster, [b]I noticed u are more disposed favourably to those who hold the same view as urs as per your mom being old schoo[/b]l. me think it is a privilege to have a mom like her, most people don't have mom (either they are dead or they have abadoned their wards). forget about the approach and think about the intention.

asha 80:

The bolded actually happened to my elder brother and i was at his home then.She arrived from owerri to lagos where he was staying and meant the girl.Obviously she was mad but [b]she still waited for my brother to come back to tell her how she felt about the whole thing.[/b]Of course mt brother later had to tell the lady the score and stepped off.

i still believe she has to talk to the guy and make the guy do what he is supposed to do.

ifyalways:

This woman has always been a strict woman who calls a spade a spade unlike most of us here.